An Opinion Can't Be Wrong

My sister told me a funny story this morning. The other day she was walking in Queens and passed two brothers and their father. The boys looked about six years old and were pushing and shoving each other. One boy kept saying, "An opinion can't be wrong. It is a feeling. You can't tell me I am wrong if it is my opinion". The other brother then shoved him and said, "You're wrong". The first brother repeated that an opinion can't be wrong because it is a feeling. Opinions can't be wrong. The other brother shoved him again, saying, "You're wrong". My sister watched as they did this back and forth banter all the way down the block. At six years old, this little boy was right. An opinion can't be wrong. It is a thought, a feeling, an opinion. It is not a fact. A fact needs to be right. An opinion doesn't. How many times have we fought about a subject and not resolved it? Most arguments are conflicting opinions. We all have the right to our own.

Virtial Tour

Skype is the best invention for grandparents. Years ago, if your grandchild lived far away, they could only speak to you on the phone. Now they can see you face to face. Last night my granddaughter Skyped with us. I was able to walk her around my house and take her into the backyard to see my husband doing yard work. She told me about her day and how she spent it with her new doll, Margaret. She ran into her room and brought out four dolls. She showed me each one and told me their names. There was Margaret, Baby, Man and Girl. She said she sleeps with ten dolls and then counted 1,2,3,7,8,9,10. I guess she was too excited to remember 4,5 and 6. She got to see Shelby running around too. It felt like we were there with her, except for the real hugs and kisses. Nothing replaces those.

A New Normal

There is an expression, "A New Normal". At some point in everyone's life it becomes relevant. Life is about change and movement. We go through childhood, adolescence, adulthood  and retirement. Each phase has different guidelines. There is no handbook. We learn as we go. The choice to be happy in each new phase is up to us. In my lectures I teach that happiness is a mindset. Today my husband begins his new normal. I hope the transition into this phase will be easy for him. If not, it will be hard on me. Nothing comes easy and we have to leave room for adjustments. Rome was not built in a day. Neither is retirement. We are formulating a plan and if it goes as scheduled, he will have a fulfilling life. The key is that he has to be a willing participant with a good attitude. I think he will do just fine.

Retirement

Today is my husband's last day of work. Tomorrow, people will refer to him as retired. He has been wanting to retire since he was 28 years old. As the day grew closer, he began to have anxiety. Was he doing the right thing? It isn't the question of stopping work. It is the unanswered question of what is next. Your work becomes your identity and as much as people dislike the work routine, it is an integral part of you. His retirement party was at work last night. There was great food and he received a beautiful watch. It is funny that a watch is the usual retirement gift, as you have nowhere to be on time after you retire. It is like giving a comb to a bald man. He is requesting to work at his job one day a week and hopefully that will start soon. He will also look into other options to keep busy. Everyone needs a purpose in life. Without one, what is life about?

Stand By

This week I am on telephone standby jury duty. It isn't serving on a jury that I mind. It is losing pay. I get the concept that it is a civic duty and responsibility to serve. I do not understand how the government thinks that people can pay their bills on $40 a day. Considering that the government tosses away thousands of dollars on nonsense, why isn't the law changed. If people received their weekly salary, no one would mind being on the jury. Instead, we plot our strategy as to what we could possibly say to be dismissed. I only know one person that wants to serve. The funny thing is that that as much as she wishes, her number never gets called.

Good Help

Good help is hard to find. It goes across the board from office workers to construction workers. We are up to our fourth estimate for our large bathroom. We are easy going people. We want a basic job done without any fancy custom work. Basically swap out the toilet, sink, and tub, and sheetrock the walls. Then tile the floor and bathtub area. That is what we did for the small bathroom, but we do not want to remove a bathtub ourselves. Each contractor that walks in, is an event. One was a fast talker that said we would flip over his work. He never called us back with references and did not show up the next week to write up a contract. The next one said he was reliable, but the internet said he stole money. The next one showed us the scar from where his colon was removed. TMI, as we say. He quoted us a high price and said he would call that evening with the specific breakdown. It is now the next day and still no call. This afternoon one more putz will come to my house. By next week my husband will start pulling off the bathroom walls himself as he wants the bathroom done "NOW". As for me, I don't really care anymore. As long as I have one working bathroom, I am good to go.

Unexpected Call

Yesterday my sister and I went to visit our parents. As usual, we walked around the neighborhood first, as it is so culturally diverse. After taking our walk , we went to our paren'ts house. We walked in, hugged and kissed them hello, then the telephone rang. It was my cousin from California. As soon as my mother heard his voice, she knew something was wrong. Her brother had passed away that morning. He was her younger brother. Out of five siblings, my mother is the only one left. She was distraught. So were we. It is never the right time to lose a beloved family member. There is never a right age. He had not been sick. He developed pneumonia and died a few days later, peacefully, with his son's by his side. He will be missed.

The Thunderbirds

Every Memorial Day weekend there is an air show at Jones Beach. My husband wanted to go see it but I did not want to. The show started at noon and people arrive about 9am and wait. The parking lots are full and if you do find a space it is a long walk. Then you have to sit on the sand. He thinks that he can arrive at 11:59 and a prime parking space will be waiting for him. I am a realist. I came up with a contingency plan. There is a local park that borders the water, about four miles away. I thought that if we go there, we could still see the show. We arrived at 1:30pm. The park was pretty empty. We walked to the water and found a bench to sit on. My husband took out his binoculars. Within five minutes we heard a roar. The Thunderbird planes flew over our heads in formation. They then did their air show right in front of us. Up and down, figure eights, smoke, fireworks. We saw it all as if it was a private show. What good timing.

All It Takes

Sometimes all it takes is a kind word. Sometimes all it takes is listening. Sometimes all it takes is a look. What I am speaking about is what it takes to comfort someone. We all go through things that upset us. If we did not, then we would be living the life of a hermit. Being upset is natural. Being helped through it is a blessing. Most of us will never be thanked for it or even know that we did it. A few minutes of kindness goes a long way.

What's The Rush

We are remodeling our small bathroom. Most people enjoy remodels. I hate them. That is why I try not to do any. It is not that I do not like new things, it is the aggravation associated with it. My husband does things in his own way. Workers like to start a job at 7am. My husband likes to start at 7pm. Other workers end a job at 5pm. My husband finishes at 5am. Last night he decided that the bathroom must be completed I n one night. At 5pm he told my son to come over and help. My son and my grandson arrived at 5:30 to start putting down the ceramic floor. As they walked in, I told them that my husband thought it would be a good idea to paint the room first. This was his plan. He would paint the 4x4 room, ceiling and trim, two coats, then cut and install molding, lay the tile floor and grout it, all within three hours. That is insane. How can you work in a small room that is freshly painted? I told my son that if he had any love in his heart for me, he would go along with this moronic plan. He did. At ten pm my daughter in law came to get the baby and said that she expected my son home within one hour. Good thing she did that. By 11pm, the paint was dry, the molding cut but not installed, and the tile floor laid but not grouted. My husband will finish this morning and install the sink and toilet later. I slept in my son's old bedroom and have no idea when the cleanup ended.

Dough Costs Dough

I usually buy my bagels at my local Stop n Shop supermarket. They have a wonderful bakery. It is the only supermarket that has bagels that actually taste like they were baked at a bagel store. I needed bagels yesterday and was not near the supermarket so I ran into my local bagel store. I asked for 6 egg bagels. When I went to pay, the girl said it was $6.50. I usually pay $.65 each. I asked the girl how much the bagels were and she said $1.10 each but since I bought 6 there was a ten cent discount. I remember when bagels were $.06 cents each. I thought to myself tagl. That is a family word for "take a good look", because I won't be coming back here again.

The Right To Remain Silent

In law enforcement when someone is arrested, they have the right to remain silent. I think that we should invoke that right on a daily basis. You have the right to remain silent when you are going to hurt someone's feelings. You have the right to remain silent when you are spreading rumors. You have the right to remain silent when you are speaking hateful words. You have the right to remain silent when your words add nothing to the conversation.

Until

The word "until" carries a lot of weight in the  English language. It is a word that bridges two events. It is the link between happy and sad. Easy and hard. Nice and nasty. The list goes on and on. Last night the word "until" played an important role in my life. We are remodeling our bathroom and everything was going well..... until. As my son pulled out the sink and toilet, he noticed that the old plumbing was not installed correctly. It needed to be replaced. Since we know our limits, we called the plumber and he came over at 8pm. He worked for an hour to replace three valves. Now we are ready to continue on with the rest of the job. Everything was going well..... until the pipes broke. Then everything went well after the plumber came.

Notes

This morning I am wearing a skirt for the first time this season. I never wear skirts or dresses in the winter because my legs get too cold. When I put my hand into the pocket of the skirt, I found a note. It said, "Melon, cantaloupe, lettuce, tomato and cuke". This leads me to believe that the last time I wore the skirt was on a Thursday and I was buying food for the next evening's dinner. I usually find these types of notes at the change of each season. They will be in the pockets of my winter coats and spring jackets also. Every time I find one, it makes me laugh. It is a reminder that time has flown by.

I Scream For Ice Cream

When I was a child there was a saying "I scream for ice cream". It still holds true. There is an ices store on Long Island called Ralph's. It is a chain of stores that is only open from March to November. They serve homemade ices in many creative flavors. My favorites are peppermint patty and rum raisin. My first experience with Ralph's was after visiting my grandson in the ICU just after he was born. After each we went across the street for ices. It gave a happy ending to a stressful night. Now, my grandson is included in the Ralph's experience. Last night as we pulled up to the store, he screamed, "Ices"! Each person chose their flavors. He got red velvet and cookies and cream. We had lids put on them to eat at home. As we pulled away from the store, he started to scream for his ices. He is not a screamer, but the sounds he was making were ear piercing. His mother opened his container and started to feed him. He kept saying, "Mmmm" as each bite went into his mouth. When we arrived at his house, his mother closed the container in order to take him out of the car seat. The screeching started again. He cried as she unlatched him and took him out of the car. As he walked up the path to his house he stopped and looked back. The crying ended as he yelled, "Bye bye Gamma, Bye bye Gamma". As upset as he was having to wait for the remainder of his ices, he still had the manners to give me a proper goodbye.

Prime Location

There are many types of places that people choose to live. Some want to live at the beach in the Hamptons. Some want to live in the mountains in a log cabin. I have the ideal place that I want to live. I want to live "At Ease" in "Peace and Quiet". Of all the prime real estate locations, "at Ease" is the best one. Sometimes you could have all of the money in the world but will never live "at Ease". If you can live at "Ease" in the subdivision of "Peace and Quiet", you have it all. Most of us will never get there. It is the one luxury that money cannot buy.

OJT

There is an expression OJT. It means on the job training. Most intelligent people can learn almost anything if they are trained correctly. My family experienced OJT when my son bought his house. He decided to remodel it himself with the help of his family. It saved him thousands of dollars in labor. Now that my husband is retiring, we have decided to remodel the bathrooms. We have honed enough skills to do the small bathroom. We are not professional enough to do the large one as it would require removing a bathtub. By doing it ourselves we will save about $4000.

The Color Lilac

I have been driving to work on the same road for eleven years. Eleven winters, eleven springs, eleven summers and eleven autumns. I thought I knew every inch of the parkway. I could tell you what exit I was at just from looking at the side of the road. Yesterday morning as I was driving, I spotted something new. Right before the exit I get off, I saw something totally unexpected. I saw lilac trees. One patch of them,  about 50 feet wide and 30 feet high. I had never noticed them before. They had to have been there for years. Were they planted or did they just grow from seeds being blown in the wind? They were so pretty and colorful. A splash of purple surrounded by a sea of green.

High Strung

I have a family friend that is high strung. Everything is done in a frenzy. Nothing is done calmly. No good has ever come from that. Every year he vacations in Las Vegas and I drive him to the airport. The only stipulation is that the time coincides with my morning commute to work. His flight was this morning. It was scheduled for 9am, or so he thought. When he printed out his boarding pass last night, he noticed that the flight was 6:30am. He would need to be at the airport at 5am. He swears that the airline switched his flight. They didn't. He must have been in such a rush when he booked it, that he never double checked his flight choices before he hit the pay button. His son gave him the ride instead of me. Most people would learn from this lesson. He won't.

The Last Drop

It has been six weeks since my cataract surgery. This morning, I took the last eye drop. I feel like I had an item on layaway and now is finally mine. Although the eye drop routine seems confusing at first, like anything else you get used to it. The first three days, I used a total of 12 drops. The next week I used 56 drops. The next week I used 35 drops. The past two weeks were a piece of cake as I only used 1 drop each morning. It became a bit complicated when the eye drop routine overlapped when I had the second eye done. Week one for the left eye was week three for the right eye and week two for the right was week four for the left. I now feel like I own these eyes, free and clear. In total, 234 drops were instilled over 42 days. Quite a math calculation.

The Hand Dance

Sometimes modern is not better. Since sinks were invented, you opened a faucet and water flowed. Then hardware went from two handles to one handle. Then a goose neck was added for decorative looks. The only type of faucet that I find completely annoying is the movement sensor one. They can be found in commercial buildings and restaurants. Most people do not realize that they are battery operated  so when the battery is dead no water flows. People have no idea when the battery is dead, so we just keep trying to get the water to run. We move our hands left to right. Right to Left. Front to back. Back to front. When this does not work, we circle to the left then circle to the right. We do the hand washing square dance. After we have spent a minute or two doing the hand dance, we move to the right and try another sink.

The Tides Of Motherhood

Today is Mother's Day. Even though I celebrated it yesterday, I will see my parents again today. As I looked around the room last night, I realized that motherhood has many levels. We need to move with life's ebb and flow when it comes to parenting. When our children are small, we nurture very closely. We are hands on and make all of the decisions. When our children reach adolescence, we need to back off a bit. If we don't, they will never learn to stand on their own. When they reach young adulthood, we can move a bit closer again as they become more our equals. They solicit our advice and will take it into consideration. When they meet their spouses, we must pull back again, as there cannot be three people in a relationship. Your child must align themselves with someone else, and rightly so. We hang back for a bit until there are grandchildren. Then we offer advice sparingly but love immeasurably. 

One Day Early

We are celebrating Mother's Day a day early. It is a better day for all of the family to be there. The actual day does not matter. What does matter is the fact that there will be four generations of family. Not all families are blessed to have that. My parents always return from Florida for this weekend. It is important for my mother to be with her children. As each year passes, I pray that everyone will be there for the next celebration.

Sad Goodbye

This morning I will be babysitting my grandson. My son has changed his work hours today in order to attend the funeral for NYPD Officer Brian Moore. He will stand with about 30000 other law enforcement officers from the US and Canada and honor the memory of a young man who died for no reason. Last week at this time he was going to work and had a full life ahead of him. He had no idea that he would only have one more day on earth. That makes me think. Nothing is guaranteed to us. Not even our lives. Our fate is not in our hands. We have some say in it, but ultimately it is not our decision.

Keep Your Word

My parents finally have their cable television. They are happy with the quality of their reception. I am not happy with how long the job took. When I made the appointment, I was asked what time frame would be good. I chose between 9am and noon. When no one was there by noon, I checked online. The message said that due to a delay the appointment would be between 1-2pm. If I wanted the afternoon, I would have chosen it. The technicians came at 2pm and after working for about an hour, they said that they would have to finish the job the next day. Since my father has dialysis today, that was not an option. They said they would come back Friday. About a half hour later, two other technicians arrived and they worked until 8pm to finish the job. It was a long exhausting day for my parents. This was not the way it was planned. This morning I will call Verizon to voice my opinion. It might not be pleasant.

Last Man Standing

This morning my parents are having cablevision installed in their house. They might be the only people left on earth to still have a wire from a rooftop antenna attached to their 300 pound gargantuan televisions. They had no choice in this as the new owners wired the house for cable television and telephone. They were shocked at the fees to have this service that they did not want. I placed the order for the installation as it would have been too complicated for them to do it without me. They are used to watching television with a snowy screen. They will be delighted to see that people have clear faces. I know that it is not easy for the elderly to adjust to change. I will probably be the same way, if I am lucky enough to still be alive at 91 years old.

Wake Up America

It has happened again. Another NYPD officer has been assassinated in the line of duty. He was just 25 years old and already a decorated officer. I watched the news last night and did not see enraged protestors. I did not see the masses looting in anger over this poor man's death. I did not see any reverend or activists with linked arms walking down the highways. There was no chanting, "Police lives matter". There were no banners reading "Justice for Brian Moore". Well, I am angry. I am enraged. What has America become? Wake up America! Our leaders are condoning civil disobedience. Our criminals have more rights than our victims. Our leaders praise the wrong and turn a blind eye on the right. We are becoming like feral animals. Wild in the streets. Turning against one another. Where is the law and order that America has prided itself on? Years ago the democratic candidate ran on a platform of "Change". He never elaborated on what that change would be. Now it is clear. He changed America from the strongest force to a weak one. He changed the tone of our cities. He changed the quality of our healthcare. We got change, but not for the better.

New Home

My parents came home from Florida yesterday. Their flight was on time and they were waiting on the curb as we arrived at the airport to pick them up. We took them food shopping and then went to their house for the "big reveal". They loved their new porch and windows and then entered the house. It still looked like their house but a new improved version. The new owner painted and carpeted for them and they loved the colors. They were excited to see the new bathroom and laundry room and were so happy to see that these rooms were also just what they wanted. They had been meaning to do these types of improvements for years, but somehow never got around to them. After a nice dinner, my sister and I drove home smiling, knowing that our parents were happy.

Happy Anniversary

Today marks thirty five years of marriage. Thirty five years have flown by. Sometimes it feels like a blink of an eye and other times it feels like a hundred years. It depends on the day. My anniversary weekend always falls out on the Kentucky Derby. Yesterday my son asked me to go to OTB and place a bet for him. I had no idea what to do. I went with my husband and a nice man helped us fill out the form. My son bet $20 to win on a horse named Firing Line. At the last moment I bet $10 to show on the same horse. The horse came in second place so I won $15.50. That was an unexpected gift.

Hip People

When I was young, I wanted to hang around "hip" people. They were the kind of people that were stylish and cool. As I got older, I still hang around with "hip" people. The only difference is that now I am referring to hip replacement.My circle of friends is falling apart. We have hip replacements, shoulder replacements. elbow surgeries, cataracts, back surgeries and more. At what point did we become our parents?

Time Zones

We all have schedules. Every household runs around their own times. Mine is different than most. My family works the evening shift. If I receive a phone call in the middle of the night, it is normal. It is just someone saying hello. I am used to this. If most people get a call at 2am, their heart would pound. This morning I received a call at 8am. I ran to the phone frantically. Who would call me at that time? It was my doctor's office confirming an appointment.