Coney Island

My life has become Coney Island. I live in a world that includes a merry-go-round, a roller coaster and spinning tea cups. Every day I do the same routine, driving one way and then back to the other. I circle around city blocks looking for parking, only to put the car in the parking lot. Then there are the highs and lows. When I think I have reached the wonderful peak, the ride drops and my stomach flies back into my mouth as I plunge downward. I sit on level ground for a short time only to go up the ride again and wait for the next dip. I move on to the tea cups where I an overloaded with information until my head is spinning in circles. When all the fun rides are over, I go to the beach to relax but just when you think it is safe to go back in the water......

Executive Secretary

Besides all of the other hats I wear, I am also an executive secretary. I handle business for people other than myself. When notices or renewals come in the mail, they never reach the hands of the person they are addressed to. I whisk them away and take care of them. This morning I renewed my husband's NYS professional license. He never knew that the form arrived in the mail last month. He has no idea that he is paid in full until 2021. It would never dawn on him to ask about his license expiration date. His secretary handles all of that for him. I wish I had someone like me to make my life easy.

Stickers

Some people are lazy. Most times no one knows about it. It is apparent to the outside world when other people can see it. The most common sign of laziness is when people have new windows installed. When I got new windows, the manufacturer label was removed that day and the windows were cleaned. As I drive around my neighborhood, I see stickers that have been there for weeks or months. I feel like knocking on the door and yelling, "Remove the stickers! They are not meant as decorations".

Spring Cleaning

This morning I did some spring cleaning. It was not for my house, it was for my email. I went through all of my folders and deleted things I no longer needed. I emptied spam, sent, inbox and trash. I am now all cleaned out and feel good. Some people have hundreds of emails in the accounts. I would feel suffocated if I had that many emails looming.

The Sign

Everyone has their own "sign" that something will be okay or that someone is watching over them. The sign for my sister and me is finding coins heads up. Recently we have not found any. Since my mother is in the hospital we were hoping for a sign. Yesterday I was in the supermarket before I went to visit my mother. At the checkout aisle two shiny new pennies were beaming at me. I bent down and saw that they were heads up. They looked like they were freshly minted and I picked them up. They were brand new 2018 heads up pennies. I called my sister and she was very happy that I found the lucky money. I put the coins in a plant at my mother's bedside. After my visit, my family went out to dinner. As I was on line ordering my food, another shiny penny was glistening on the floor. It was also heads up. I picked it up, put it into my pocket and delivered it to my sister to add to the collection. Whether it is a butterfly, a humming bird or a penny, a lucky sign helps our frame of mind and comforts us.

Pat Answers

A pat answer is a statement that has been used many times and is not sincere. One woman I work with should be named "Queen Pat". When someone is sick or has a problem, she texts incessantly until she knows what is going on. Once she is filled in and has enough information to satisfy her curiosity, the texts stop. When she sees someone who has a problem in person, she comforts them with her "pat" answers. "So sorry" or "sorry to hear" are her two favorites. Pat answers are almost insulting. It would be better to say nothing. 

Honeysuckle

I know it is finally spring. I can smell it in the air. My neighbor's backyard has a honeysuckle bush on the side that borders my yard. It blooms small honeysuckle pods each spring. The smell is unmistakable. It is sweet and flowery, almost like perfume. Just smelling it brings back years of wonderful memories. I have had many family gatherings in my yard and they were always fun times. I hope to have many more with the entire family. The scent of the honeysuckle has given me hope.

Evolution

When my sister was speaking to one of the doctor's at the hospital where my mother is "visiting", they were discussing why she had a stroke. After going through the clinical reasons, he then told her that it is "evolution". That one word summed up our existence. The movement from one stage in life to another. There is no way to stop the motion of evolution. It is and has always been a natural progression.

Surprise

Yesterday afternoon I got a big surprise. My son and daughter-in-law from out of state came in to surprise my mother and visit her in the hospital. She was glad they came and it showed on her face. That made me very happy too.

The Road

We never know from one moment to the next where the road leads us. The road I am writing about has two meanings. One is the road we physically travel on and one is the road that we are spiritually led. There is a poem that ends with the line, "Two roads diverged in the woods and I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference". I am traveling two roads and have been for a few months. One road leads to Brooklyn and the other leads to the people that make Brooklyn special. I travel it with love and hope. I travel it knowing that the journey I am making is one that I would not trade for the world. I travel it not knowing where or when it will end but that is the wonder of life. I am traveling a new path and being thankful for every mile, even if the road gets rough.

Who Knows

No matter how smart we all think we are, we know nothing. The only one that knows is God. Yesterday my mother had a routine doctor's appointment. He checked her out and gave her a clean bill of health. She left his office feeling great and my father, their aide and her decided to go out to eat. In the car my mother stopped talking and the aide thought she was napping. My dad knew enough to realize that she had another stroke. Two days and 2 hospitals later, she is still in the ER waiting for a bed which should be available shortly. Thankfully she can speak and knows what is going on. According to the doctors, she will recover most of her faculties. Only God knows.

Village People

In the 1970's at the height of the disco era, there was a singing group called, "The Village People". It consisted of five men, a biker, a construction worker, a cop, a cowboy and an Indian . All of them were in full costume. If it were today the group would have four members as it would be politically incorrect for an Indian to be shown dancing in a full headdress. My life has morphed into a Village People type existence. At any  given moment my role in someone's life changes. I also need to surround myself with other village members as I cannot do it all alone. It is getting exhausting being a village, even with the other villager's help. I guess that no man stands alone and it was never intended to be that way.

The Good Old Days

Why do we never notice the Good Old Days while we are living them? Why do they have to be in the past? I remember the times when things were easy and peaceful. Times when there were no clouds of worries hanging over my head. Why didn't I cherish the days when my children were younger, more than I did? Did I not see how really good they were? Did I need a future comparison to know the difference? Was living them harder than remembering them? To me, the good old days were in the late 1980's. Newly married, new house, 2 beautiful children and healthy parents. Why do the good old days have to pass so quickly?

Hopefully

I am at the age when the word "hopefully" is beginning to appear in my conversations. Young people can feel secure using the term "definitely". As you age that term is a luxury that has been lost. When I make plans, I preface them by saying, "Hopefully". When I speak about my parents, I throw the word "hopefully" in to the sentence. "Hopefully" seems like such an insecure word, but at this time in my life it is as committed as I can get.

Look Good, Feel Good

Yesterday I added another skill to my resume. I am now an amateur haircutter. I went to visit my parents and realized that my mother's hair had not been cut in a few weeks. Eventually she will go back to her weekly hair appointments, but for now she does not want to go. Her hair color looks better than ever. For some reason her hair is growing out blond. It isn't gray or white. It is a light blond color that looks beautiful. All these years she has had it highlighted or lowlighted when all she had to do was go natural. I asked my father for a sharp scissor and began to cut like Edward Scissorhands. I mimicked the way my stylist does it to get layers. Snip, snip, snip. Twenty minutes later she had a very nice haircut. Even my husband, who is very critical, said it looked fantastic.

It Doesn't App-ly

I have an old phone. It is my choice to have it. No bells or whistles. No internet. I must admit that I caved in and have texting. That is as far as I will go for now. I consider a cell phone an apparatus for communication, not for fun. Call me or text me when you have something to say. I do not have internet for a specific reason. If I did, then I would morph into the rest of the world that has a cell phone attached to their hand. Look around. Everyone is scrolling. If there is a moment of down time, in a doctor's office, on line to pay for something or  in a restaurant, the phone is out and the pointer finger is moving up and down. What is so important that you need to be constantly amused by electronic information? If I am in a doctor's office I use that time to rest my head and let my brain cells relax. I do not need constant stimulation. I will fight getting the internet and updating my phone until the old style phones are no longer available and I have no option.

Spring Feeling

This morning my eyes opened at 6:30am. It was already sunny out. Just seeing the sunshine so early in the morning started the day off right. It felt like spring. With that feeling comes a sense of joy. When I rise to sunshine the world seems brighter, not only in the visual sense but in the spiritual one also. There is truth to the theory of winter doldrums where more hours of darkness lead to more dark emotions. I feel good this morning and know that this feeling will last for months.

Negotiable

Anything is negotiable. All you need to do is ask. There is always a discount or coupon that can be applied. If you do not ask, you do not get. Some patients ask for discounts on their treatment and we will always do something for them. I have used AAA, AARP or just plain senior citizen. For years, I never knew that the Outback restaurant gives 10% off the bill just for being old. Some stores have Tuesday as their discount day, while others Wednesday. If you know how the system works, you can use it to your advantage.

Thirty Seconds

Thirty seconds is all it took to bring my eye back to normal. It is amazing how a tiny red beam can make such a difference in someone's life. We take for granted that medical research is what moves the world along. Treatments that we know as commonplace were not around ten years ago. Every day people in research labs work hard to take small steps that will eventually lead to large progress. Until we need those treatments, we never think about it.

First Conversation

Last night I had my first conversation with my 2 year old granddaughter. It was only a few words but it was very special. After I spoke to her older sister I asked to say hello to her. I said hello. She said hello. I asked if she ate dinner. She said yes. I asked if she had pasta. She said no. I said I love you. She said I love you. Only six words were spoken but they meant the world to me.

Waiting For Recess

I am working a half day today. At 11am I will leave work and go to pick up my grandson from school. I will then head to another school with him for his weekly physical therapy. Sine the atmosphere at my office has become "different" I am glad to have the reprieve. As soon as I get to work, I sit and look at the clock, waiting for the hands to be on the 11. It reminds me of when I was a child sitting in school, waiting for the recess bell to ring so I could run out of the building and play.

Looking Towards Spring

Every morning I wake up looking for spring. I get dressed in my warm clothes and put on a heavy coat to walk Shelby. I read the outdoor thermometer and see the temperature is 30 degrees. Are the seasons getting erratic or am I just not remembering them well? When I was a child, by April 9th I was wearing knee socks and changing to my spring coat. Now I am just waiting for the morning when I am not shivering when I get into my car.

Sundays

Years ago, people had one day of the week that was spent with family. It was a consistent day and every family member was there. The days varied by families and religions. Whether it was a Friday dinner or a Sunday lunch, the day was sacred. As the generations passed, so did the family day. Now that my parents are older, my sister and I spend Sundays with them. We bring lunch and various other items that fill in their pantry for the week. It is always a pleasant day. Even if we sit in the room and say nothing, we are still enjoying ourselves. We are going back to basics and feel wonderful about it.

Weather or Not

Today is my grandson's fifth birthday party. It is being held at an amusement park. The weather, as of now, looks bad. It is cold and damp. We will know at 10am whether or not the party will go on or be postponed for a few weeks. I hope it clears up fast.

Yes or No

Children and the elderly have a lot in common. I am finding that dealing with my parents is like nurturing children. Children cannot be asked a question that could be answered with a yes or no response. If you ask them if they had a good day at school, they will say yes or no. If you ask them what they did at school, they are forced to embellish. This morning I spoke to my parents and asked if they needed anything at the supermarket since I will be going to see them on Sunday. They both said no. I knew that they need extra fill ins. I changed my strategy. I asked specifics. Do you need tomatoes? Yes. Do you need eggs? Yes. Do you need bread? Get a rye bread. Do you need cheese? Get 1/4 lb Boars Head Swiss. Do you need fruit? Get 2 boxes of blueberries. You now get the picture. I have a one page list of things they "did not need".

Halfway There

Yesterday I had one eye fixed with a laser. After 30 seconds, my reading vision returned. I had not seen anything close for weeks. I felt like a child seeing something for the first time...again. My fingers looked clear and so did the keyboard. I had never noticed that the time on my cell phone was white letters outlined in black. Certain nuances that I took for granted, reappeared. Just knowing that by next Wednesday I will have my normal vision makes me so happy. Now I am counting down the days.

Partial Restoration

I am sitting here very anxious. In about one hour I will leave my house and go to the surgical center to have my left eye lasered. I am hoping to have my vision restored. Next week the procedures will be done and I should be on full speed. My heart is pounding and my stomach is aching. Years ago there was an expression, "sitting on sphlikas". That is what I am doing until I go.

V Minus One

One more day until I begin to get my vision back. When things go well you take them for granted. I never realized how important my eyesight was until it began to fade away. Tomorrow one eye will be fixed and then next Wednesday, the other eye. I am counting down the seconds.

Expectations

As each day goes by, I realize that the expectations I have for other people will never become reality. I have a certain way of thinking and have spent years fooling myself into thinking that other people thought the same way. Each time that I was disappointed, I felt terrible. I am now at the stage that I just expect to be disappointed. I am now moving on to the reality that I need to change my ways as I can no longer live up to my standard if I will only be disappointed by other's.

The Old Room

Last night we had a Sedar at my brother-in law's home. As usual, my sister-in-law did a superb job cooking the meal. My younger son and his family were also there. My brother-in-law has a phenomenal collection of antiques and memorabilia. There is more history in his "museum" than you can find in a history book. He is the curator of a wealth of Americana. My five year old grandson walked into the room and looked around. He was allowed to ring a large bell which made him excited. He recognized what certain items were. Later on in the evening, he asked me, "Why does Uncle Larry have so many old things in the room". I answered that he like to collect things. We all joked that the room was now going to be referred to as "The Old Room". After my grandson left for the evening we all sat around laughing at what he said. My sister-in-law then brought up a good question. How did my grandson know that the things were "old"? He had never seen them before, so at the very least, they were new to him. They could possibly have even been different, but why did he choose to say "old". What was the variable in his mind that differentiated old from new? We could not come up with the answer. Only he knows.