Back on Track

After a six week break, hopefully today we will get back on track with our usual weekend schedule. I will be going to Brooklyn to get my father and bring him to Long Island as we did for the entire summer. I have a delicious dinner planned. All I want is to see him sitting in my living room, reading the paper and snoozing.

The Letter

This is the time of the year when students apply for graduate school. A letter of recommendation can help the process. My director pulls a lot of weight at her old college where she is an adjunct professor although she has not actually taught in years. She had to write three letters this semester for her three research assistants. One was a solid letter, one was a bit exaggerated and the other she had the student write herself. She liked the idea of a self written recommendation so much that she decided to incorporate it into the hiring process. A candidate for employment was asked to write a recommendation letter for herself and email it to the doctor and then the decision to hire would be made. The letter will be scrutinized to see the self esteem level and writing skills. People are usually humble when they write about themselves and do not want to look to conceited. I have no idea what this exercise is accomplishing. If I were the new employee, I would write, "I am great. Hire me. If you do not, you are a moron". 

Early Bird

I accomplished everything I needed to yesterday. I decided to start the day early to have extra time and not be in a rush. That decision paid off. We got to the radiology office and it was empty. Within five minutes the line was out the door. We were home within one hour. I brought homemade soup for lunch and fed my father early. He was done eating at 11:45am. A home care nurse was scheduled for 1-2pm. At 11:50am she knocked on the door. The visit was done by 12:30pm and I visited a bit longer. I was back on the road at 1pm and drove home without traffic.

Day Off

Today I am not going to work, but I will have a full day anyway. I am off to Brooklyn to take my father to the doctor for a checkup and then have him evaluated for other healthcare services. I was only going to take a half day but realized that I do not want to be rushed and it would not be good for my father to pack too much into one afternoon. His aide is there and that helps me out alot. Parking in Brooklyn is not good, but with her along for the day she can walk him in to the doctor's office while I park the car. Every little thing helps out.

The Grinch

After a long holiday weekend I am returning to work. I am beginning to feel like the Grinch. Holiday season is approaching and I have no feeling about it. Last week, for the first time in 15 years, I forgot to get my receptionist a birthday gift. As of yet I have made no effort to do so. I have been sick with a nasty virus and lack the energy to do anything. I am at the point where I will say, "I forgot your birthday, you forget mine. Let's regroup in 2019".  My birthday is smack in the holiday season and this year without my mother, it seems kind of blah. I understand the Grinch. He had a good point.

Tough Customer

I have always been a non controversial person in a controversial world. Other people state their opinions when something is not to their liking. I never wanted to rock the apple cart. I decided that it is not so bad to be a rocker. If I see something that is not right, I can let someone know. If something is not to my liking, what is so wrong about having it corrected? I saw a poster the other day and took a picture of it. It said, "Some people may say that I am a beautiful soul. Some people may say that I am a horrible person. Believe them both. I do not treat people the same. I treat them accordingly".

Old Time Medicine

I am still sick from an upper respiratory "thing". I visited the doctor on Wednesday and was told that it was a virus that it had to run its course. I am still feeling bad so I will go back today and see if the virus has turned bacterial. Years ago if you had a cold they gave antibiotics. Many years ago it was a shot in your behind. I don't care what the new school of thought is, I want my antibiotics! Nothing gets better without them. I do not care if I have a virus. When the virus knows that antibiotics are coming, it seems to pack up its tiny bag and go.

Shopping Weekend

This is a big weekend for shopping. Yesterday as we  drove to New Jersey, we saw people lined up in 20 degree weather waiting for JC Penney to open. I think that this whole idea of stores opening up early on Thanksgiving is unfair to many people. It is unfair to the workers that should be home with their families. It is unfair to the people who are trying to save money and have no alternative than to stand outside like cattle waiting to be fed.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is the day we are supposed to be thankful. I am thankful for the life I had and for the life I have. This is the first Thanksgiving without my mother. Normally my parents were in Florida by now so they had not spent the holiday with the family in 16 years. My father is well enough to take the trip to New Jersey and enjoy the food and the company. The weather is gorgeous for a drive. I finished making the stuffing and will get on the road by noon.

Cold Season

I have the first official cold of the season. Last year I never had one. I believe that sitting for 10 hours at the airport in recirculated air is responsible for the condition. My husband has come down with the same cold at the same time so there must be something to my theory. Recirculated air is not cleaned, it is just moved around. I will bet that there are a lot of sick travelers this week.

The Thinker

I think I might move to Paris. I am applying for the job of replacing Rodin's statue, The Thinker. I already have the qualifications. Lately, I sit hunched over with my hand on my chin and think about how I will solve other people's problems. It is a never ending job, which is why the statue never leaves its foundation. It is made of bronze because it has to weather all storms and stay strong. I think I can do that. I already am. Yesterday I returned to work and the simplest of issues were still unresolved. I spent the first part of the morning fixing them. Then I moved on to personal dilemmas. I had to think about how to get a medication for my father that the retail drug stores cannot. Shouldn't this have been the task of the doctor's office? They had no idea what to do. I did research and found the answer and then relayed it to the people that should have been the ones to solve the problem in the first place. All I do is sit and think, day in and day out. 

Back To The Office

It is my first day back to work and I wish that I could just stay in bed and hide under my covers. I have not been there for 10 days and realize that my job is the least important facet of my life. Family is #1 and there is no #2. We are adjusting to my dad being home again and I can sense he is scared. A hospital gives you a sense of safety even though no one wants to be there. I will go to work and pretend that I care about my job. All I want to do is have a few days of peace and quiet.

Back To Some Normalcy

My father was released from rehab yesterday. People think that being released is an easy process. Just pack your bag and walk. That is not the case. There are preparations and instructions that need to be in place. All in all, the process took close to six hours from beginning to end. There were a few glitches along the way, but they were ironed out quickly. My father is at his house until Wednesday when we will get him for the Thanksgiving weekend. He is slowly acclimating to being home again. When you are in a facility setting for a while you forget what freedom is. I guess that is why jails have halfway houses. The transition needs to move at a slow pace until things are back to what they used to be.

I Am Back

I am back, literally and figuratively. After a grueling week in Florida I am back home. As the saying goes, "There is no place like home". We worked for days cleaning out the apartment and when we left everything was done. It is a bit heartbreaking to see someone's life being reduced to a bunch of Hefty bags.

Seeing Dad

It has been a week since I saw my father. When I arrived at the rehab he was so glad to see me. We went over what I had done in Florida and he was happy that everything was finished and in place to sell. I was never so glad to see his face.

Long Trip

After fourteen hours, I am back home. I got to the airport at 10am for a 12pm boarding time. The flight was delayed until 2:30 pm, then 3:45, then 7:50, then 8:14 and finally 7:29. There were an array of excuses: air traffic control, weather, crew etc. After 5 hours, we were given a bag of chips and water to quiet us down. It felt like I would never leave the airport, like Tom Hanks in the movie "Terminal".

Still Packing

We are almost done packing. I hate to use the word overwhelming but it is the only word that fits the last few days. People take weeks to do what we have done in days. We are at the finish line and just want to go back home knowing that we accomplished the job we set out to do.

For Sale

The condo has been put up for sale. I signed with the real estate agent and have begun the process of donating items to a mission. The agent said she would help me with whatever I needed. Only time will tell.

Day 1

A Pandora's box has opened. You never realize how much stuff a person has accumulated until you need to clean it out. Things that seemed important at the time, look foolish now. Rubber bands, paper clips, note pads, magazines are among the treasured items that need to need addressed. It is mind boggling.

Travelers

This morning I am going to Florida. My husband and I have different ideas when we travel. I like to get to the airport early. I leave enough time to account for traffic. He does not understand why we need to do this. What is the big deal to get up a half hour early?

Packing

Today I am packing for my trip tomorrow to Florida. It is not the usual vacation packing. It is packing for a purpose. I will be going through my parent's apartment and deciding what items need to be donated and what items need to be taken home. I want to be as prepared as possible so I am bringing  bubble wrap, tape and bags with me. I know I could buy them when I arrive, but that means going to a store and wasting time. Time is precious as I want to get the job done quickly and get home. It will be hard returning to a place where I had such good memories for 16 years. The ghosts of the past will be everywhere. There will be no internet or television as they were shut off for the summer season over a year ago. I guess I will take the extra time to reflect on happier memories.

Meeting

This morning I will have a team meeting at the rehab my father is in. They have given me a target date for his release. I have another target date in mind. My arrow is the only important one as the target I am aiming for is the target that counts. He is getting good care there, but I feel that one week more is all he needs. They would like two. I see no reason to extend his stay. He is doing well and all of the services he is getting there will be provided for at his own home. He needs to be back in his own environment. There is no place like home.

Mr. Right Now

Once again we are hiring for a receptionist position. The last one walked out after being told she was not doing something right. It makes it easier for me because I was going to fire her anyway. She decreased her hours from 20 to 5 and we tried to accommodate her, but it just was not working out. We interviewed a nice young man and although he did not have medical office experience, he had a solid educational background and was very personable. He could have been molded into the employee that we need. He then interviewed with the doctors and they thought he was nice, but a bit inexperienced. They interview as if it is a psychological consultation, which is not fair. When I asked if they would hire him, the response was, "I do not think his parents would want him to only work part time". What? His parents? What kind of dumb ass answer is that? He is a 22 year old college graduate. He is not in first grade and needs mommy and daddy's permission.

No Time For Sleep

I got up extra early today. Since I am going to Florida on Sunday, I need to be totally prepared. I am writing paper notes and taking mental notes. My notes are growing notes. I need to make sure that I have everything I need, as I will not be going to Florida again.

Stressed

It is official. I am so stressed that I have no idea what I am doing. This morning I brushed my teeth with zinc oxide. I grabbed a tube and squeezed the contents onto my toothbrush. It looked a bit dry and I attributed it to not closing the tube tightly. As I started to brush, it felt very creamy. When I did not taste mint, I realized that something was wrong. That is when reality kicked in. I had put zinc oxide on the brush. I have so much on my mind that I did not pay attention to what I was doing. Not good. I started to gag and stuffed my mouth with tissue paper to wipe away the mess. I then threw out my toothbrush and grabbed the toothpaste. I brushed so hard that my gums are now bleeding. I can just tell what kind of day it will be.

Short Days

If finally feels like Autumn. The days are short and due to my new responsibilities, I am driving in the dark. The days have that winter feel even though the temperature is still a bit warm.

Sweet Dreams

I cannot remember the last time I had "Sweet Dreams". I used to be a good dreamer. Everything was pleasant. I would wake up with happy thoughts. Lately, I have upsetting dreams. They are not nightmares, they are just upsetting and sad. I am in unhappy places with unhappy people. I wake up feeling unsettled. My dreams used to be my happy place. I no longer have that.

New Neighbors

Today my neighbors from across the street are moving. I hope the new ones are better than the old. The old ones were inconsiderate people. They used to block the sidewalk with their cars making it difficult for people to walk down the block. They never shoveled their snow. Other neighbors wound up doing it for them just to have clear paths. Their son once broke my garage light and a million shards of glass lined my driveway. His father just walked away leaving me to clean it up. It turns out they were also slumlords. I found that out when the City of New York sent investigators to their house and spent all day sitting in their car waiting for them to come home. We have not spoken to them for about 26 years. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Sleep Away*College*Rehab

There are times in our lives when we have to leave a loved one in a place that is right for them, even if they are not happy at first. When my children were young, I sent them to sleepaway camp. As I put them on the bus, I could see the fear in their faces. I reassured them. I said that it would only be for a few weeks. They would make friends. I was just doing what was right for them. Then came college. As the dorm room was set up, I could see the anxiety in their faces. I reassured them. It was only for a few years and they would be home on many breaks and the summers. They would make friends. I was only doing what was best for their futures. Then came rehab for my father. As we arrived there, I could see sadness in his face. I had to reassure him. It was only for a few weeks. He would make friends. I was only doing what was best for him. No matter how old you are or in what stage of life you are at, a new environment is daunting. You just need to go hour by hour and you will adjust and be fine.

November

Today it November. Where did the year go? Today my father comes out of the hospital and goes into rehab. I am exhausted already.