Happy Birthday

 Today is my father's 97th birthday. I stayed up until midnight to see the clock turn 12:00am. He made it to 97. Happy birthday to the best dad in the world.

Holy Day

 Today is a Holy Day and a holiday. I am sitting here reflecting on life. The world is in a precarious place and I pray for it. I always try to make sense out of the way the universe handles things. Sometimes I can easily do that. Other times I need to stretch and delve into it's meaning. I will be visiting my father today and hope that it is a good day for him. Tomorrow is his birthday. I will visit him again to celebrate and sing. I am not looking any further than one day at a time.

In Five Minutes

Last night I was talking to my father. He was a bit confused about where he was. After 15 minutes of repeating that he was at home in his living room, he decided to take my word for it. I told him I would call him back in five minutes. I then called my sister to have her call him as maybe another voice would spark his mind into the present. She called and he seemed fine but then he told her that I was calling back in five minutes. While I wanted to hear his voice, I was afraid that I would trigger off another loop of the same conversation. Then I felt guilty. What if I did not call and he never woke up? I would have guilt forever. At 8:45pm I called and he was glad to hear from me. We had a pleasant short talk and said goodnight. I made the right decision to call again.

Heaven

 Is there a heaven? Are there angels? Do our loved ones watch over us? There will always be a debate on these questions. Some people will totally agree. Others will vehemently disagree. The rest will question. In the world of the living, there is no answer, only speculation. By the time we know the truth, we can no longer spread it. When people see their deceased family, we say they are imagining it. But are they? Maybe they are seeing what other people are not meant to see. It is solely for them. That does not mean that it is not real.

Holding Vs Moving

 Is it easier to hold on or move on? The other day, I was speaking to a receptionist at a doctor's office. I have no idea who she was and have even forgotten which office she works in. We were discussing elderly parents. The girl was probably in her 30's, so I assume she had experienced the loss of a grandparent. She said to me that it is much harder to hold on, than to move on. She was referring to a person's journey in life. I wrote down that sentence and told her that I would be using it again. It is harder to hold on. It is so hard to hold on.

Lethal Candy

 I just read an article this morning about how too much black licorice killed a man. He love licorice and ate it every day without realizing that certain acids in the licorice were killing him. The licorice increased his blood pressure and threw off his electrolytes. The candy contains licorice root and just two ounces a day can raise your blood pressure and cause a heart attack. Sometimes people are not aware the foods contain roots and herbs that can harm them if used in higher quantities.

Not Easy

 Some people think that things are easy, just because people make them look easy. I can see a marathon bicycle rider and think that is is easy to ride a bicycle. If I tried it, after 1 block, I would be exhausted. It is the same with a job. If you are doing it a long time, and doing it well, you make it look easy. People think that they can learn, in one week, what you have honed in 17 years. It is not realistic. Today I will begin to train a new girl on the basics of a receptionist's job. I am sure she will learn the easy part in a short time, but I explained to my boss, that having her work alone at night, after one week, will be a disaster. Time will tell.

Personality

 My parents were always liked by everyone. Until her last day, everyone who met my mother loved her. She was a genuinely nice person whose good nature shined through. My father was always Mr Personality. He still is. Yesterday, I had a nurse visit him. I made the appointment for 11am. She checked him and evaluated his medications. Then she sat and talked with him. I called to see how everything was. The nurse said he was fine and she wished she had made this her last appointment of the day, because she was having such a great time, she did not want to leave. She called him an anomaly.  People at his age do not usually hold a good conversation. She said he actually taught her a few things about the history of New York. That's my dad!

By Default

 Since the pandemic, I had to fire the receptionists that I had hired. By default, now that we are getting a bit busier, my boss has asked her research assistants to step in and work a few hours each. One has been working for a few weeks and the other will start today. The second one would not have been hired if I was doing the hiring. I find her totally annoying. There are some people that just grate on your nerves.

Opportunity

 There are three ways to use opportunity. You can give it. You can take it. You can ignore it. How you use opportunity will lead to how you live your life. Just for example, America gives opportunity to people who legally get a visa. They are welcomed into our country. Once they are here, they can take that opportunity and become a citizen. They can take more opportunity and get a job, open a business and buy property. They can even go further and have their voice heard in politics. Then there are people that ignore opportunity. They have the opportunity to go to school but don't use it well. They have the opportunity to get a job and work their way up but they don't use it well. They would rather cry and whine about what they don't have as other people use what they do have. Why do people that immigrate to the USA prosper while many that are born here stagnate?

The Ball

 I am not an athlete but lately I feel like I am in training. I seem to be picking up the ball when other people are passing it or dropping it. It is their ball. They need to deal with it. It keeps getting passed back to me. I am supposed to be a spectator not the main player. I play in my own game, in my own arena. They are paid to play in theirs. I am now on the phone, on hold, waiting to have the ball passed back to me.

Happy New Year

 Tonight begins the Jewish New Year. I wish it would begin the world's new year. I will be making a family dinner. I started my cooking yesterday and will continue through today. I am sad that my father cannot be with us but I will pack up a dinner for him and he can have it tomorrow night. I am just glad that he is still here with us.

Coincidence

 Is it coincidence or is it divine intervention? In my life, I am leaning towards divine intervention. I feel that cause and effect is life running it's course. If you do A then B will happen. Divine intervention has me stumped. Things that are linked together by none of our own doing, that make sense in the universe, must be done by a greater power than our own. If I ask for certain intangible things and they happen that day, due to no input from myself, why did they happen? If I have a heavy decision to make and the day I need to make it, the universe has made that choice for me, did a higher power than myself put it into place. I know that I sound confusing but in reality this is my clearest writing. It is because it is spiritual and many times spiritual cannot be put into words that make sense.

Day in the Park

 After work today, my sister and I will put our beach chairs in the car and drive to a beautiful park. We will open them up and sit there surrounded by trees and birds. The park is usually silent, so you can hear your own thoughts. We want to relax and spend time reminiscing about life. This beautiful park is named Beth David Cemetery. Yes, we are bringing beach chairs to a cemetery. Who says we can't? We want to have a peaceful visit with our mother. We do not want to just stand there, looking down at the grave. We want to be eye level with her headstone. That is how a normal visit is, face to face, equal footing. We will talk and laugh and cry. In the Spring we are planning a picnic there. Why does a cemetery visit need to be somber? In life, our relationship with our mother was always happy. Why should it be any different in death?

Routine

 I did one thing off my routine this morning and forgot to write. I have a million and one things on my mind so the million and 2nd thing kicked me over. Life is not always easy. 

TV Land

 I have decided to live in TV Land. Lately I have been taping old television shows from the 1960's. I watch them through 2020 eyes. My 2020 is for sharp vision in a year that no one wants to see again. When I watch the shows I focus on styles, decor, language and overall society. While we were lacking in certain modern technologies, we were rich with dignity. People waited for phone calls and dressed in suits and ties to go to a ballgame. Women wore hats and dresses, no jeans or sneakers. Doors were unlocked and people were courteous. That is the world I lived in and want to revisit through these shows. I would give up a computer and cell phone for a bit of human decency and kindness.

Three P's

 With everything that is happening in the world, "P" words are prominent. Protest. Privilege. Protect. Now that I look at it, protest and protect are only different by one letter, just like defund and defend are. One letter that separates negative behavior behavior from positive behavior. I understand protest and protect. It is the word privilege that baffles me. Most people reading this entry could be accused of being privileged but in order to label a person, you need to know the true definition. Here it is. Privilege: A special advantage, immunity, permission, right, or benefit granted to or enjoyed by an individual, class, or caste. Let's break it down.

Special advantage: I go to work every morning and I am 65 years old. I pay for my health insurance, taxes, both federal and state and fund the welfare system for those of us who do not work. 

Immunity: If I do a crime I pay for it. If I run a red light or speed, I have to send a check to the violations bureau. If I am caught doing any other crime, I will be arrested and bail will be set. 

Permission and right: As long as I follow the rules of the government, I have permission to do things and rights to do so also. If not, I will face the penalty.

Benefits granted: I have never seen any. I pay my way so I have possessions. I do not run into a store and benefit from broken windows. I never came home with a free television set that has shards of glass on the box. 

To review: I am not privileged. I am hard working. I came from immigrants that made a life for themselves through hard work and sweat. Do not bandy around words that do not define someone else.

For The Birds

  "For the birds" is an idiom describing something as useless, meaningless, or only believed by the gullible. As I sit here writing, I am hearing the birds outside my window chirp. I have heard them every day since I moved in. They are not the same birds, but they do the same thing. They chirp and sing and sometimes have a back and forth conversation. They must be smart birds, because they know how to find food on a daily basis and how to shelter themselves from all weather conditions. They go about their merry way from high above, looking down on a civilization that they must feel is "for the birds".

They Ran In

 Nineteen years ago, today, they ran in. Nineteen years ago today, they did not know whether or not they would all run out. Some ran out once and ran in again to save a stranger's life. Some never ran out the second time. They did that, as they still do, to save another before saving themselves. First responders are the most selfless people on earth. You call, they come. Shame on anyone that criticizes them. Unless you have walked in their shoes, you have no right to say anything negative. Nineteen years ago today, they fought the flames of foreign terrorism. Today they fight the flames of domestic terrorism, fueled by greedy politicians that want to recoup power. Any American that riots or sets a fire today, should be ousted from American soil. They should be sent to socialistic country and forced to see what reality is. For anyone that reads this blog or knows me, I am a proud American and a proud Republican. I do not condone riots. I do not condone looting. I do not condone ignorant people terrorizing the elderly. I do not condone thugs throwing bricks at law enforcement. I do not condone a female vice presidential candidate saying she is proud of a rapist, as his victim sits and cries. I do not condone sports figures, that make more money than most people put together, kneeling at the flag that allows them to make that kind of money. They cry oppression from their multi million dollar mansions. Michelle O and Oprah say they feel invisible. What a bunch of nonsense. They are a millionaire and a billionaire that worked their way up to that point, because they were in America. Invisible people cannot do that. So on this day of remembrance...."God bless America, Land that I love. Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with the light from above".

Singing

 Every year we get a few research assistants in my office. Some become one of the family and other's keep their distance. Yesterday we met a new one. She is a college student and seems pleasant. One of her tasks was to make copies. The copier is in the front office next to the receptionist. It is also next to the Alexa dot that plays our music. It took the girl over an hour to make the copies since there were a lot of papers. For the entire hour, she sang out loud with Alexa. I mean out loud, as if she was a back up singer. It was annoying and distracting. The receptionist and I were on phone calls and the "live background music" was playing at full force. If it was not her first day, we would have told her to pipe down. We did not tell her because she is not yet part of the family and we would have hurt her feelings. I do not know if she did not know how loud she was singing, did not care or did not know that she was distracting. Either way, she was oblivious.

Socialization

 Socialization is a basic human need. Like the song says, "People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world". After being separated for months, many schools returned to teach in person. The students of all ages were thrilled to see each other. My grandson returned to school yesterday and said he had the best day ever. He saw all of his friends, in a safe environment. They know that they have to abide by the rules in order to be allowed in the same room. The smile on his face said it all. He is seven years old and being with other seven year olds is important. At some point, people need to safely come out of hibernation. I never went in, as my job was never shut down and thankfully I am safe. I cannot imagine being  without other people, even at a safe distance, for months.

School's Back

 Today is the first day of school in my town. We all hope that things go smoothly and the schools stay open. It has been six months since the children have walked into a classroom to learn and socialize. No one knows how the new routine will work. I hope that within a few days the new normal just becomes normal and our children can get back to a regular routine.

Treason

 Treason is the crime of betraying one's country, especially by attempting to kill the sovereign or overthrow the government. Punishment for it can be harsh. In many countries, including the United States, it is death. What is considered treason and what is considered ignorant bad judgement? The New York Post has quoted Governor Andrew Cuomo as stating, "Trump better have an army to protect him if he comes to NYC". Is this a threat? Is he speaking for the people? Is this his personal vendetta? Or is this the talk of a man who requested, received and never used millions of dollars in Covid relief from the man he seems to be threatening? I will answer my own questions. Is it a threat? No. I think that it is a statement that a child would say if you did not want to give him candy. It is more like a tantrum. Is he speaking for the people? No. Most people want law and order. They do not want mayhem and that is what NYC has turned into. A 300% rise in crime is not good for anyone. Is it a personal vendetta? Yes. It is not only personal it is ungrateful. During Covid, Cuomo made a lot of demands upon the President. He wanted 40,000 ventilators and hundreds of hospital rooms. He swiftly received the USS Comfort and had the Javits Center built into a hospital. He never used any of the rooms, other than to shuffle people around a bit. He could have used them for the elderly to be safe, but he did not. He let the nursing home people spread the virus and die. Now, he is the one that is a crying, whining baby. Is he trying to show that he is a big man in New York? I think that he is an arrogant fool. He lamented for months about his mother's safety. What about the safety of his state? This is no time to disparage a sitting president. In any other country, he would already be behind bars.

Unsettling

 The link below is unsettling. Click it and you will see why. Scary. I have nothing more to say.

www.antifa.com

Keys

 We all have extra keys in a drawer. We put them there for safe keeping. Years later, we have no idea what they are for. This morning I found a key ring full of keys in my jewelry box. They were all different sizes and shapes. Normally keys come in a few standard templates. They no longer for any of my locks. I have no idea what they once opened. I did not throw them out as I was not 100% what they were used for.

In The Moment

 I live in the moment. I plan ahead but life leads me where I have to go in a split second. I need to have the ability to swivel in an instant. I am become quite adept at it.

Hourly Rate

 We are currently having our computer system updated. The last people to do it were my bosses family members and that was not the best choice. Through a google search, we found a local man to do the update. He is pleasant but moves slow. He reminds me of a lumbering bear. The updates should have taken a few hours. He is on his third day. The only problem is that he gets paid $110 an hour. The rate is not high for a computer tech, but at his low speed the rate will rapidly climb. We are up to $1000 and are still not done. A younger faster tech would have finished this project in 4 hours. I am glad it is not my money paying for this. I would have been pulling my hair out of my head by now.

Tired

 I woke up tired. I have to rephrase that. I never went to sleep. I tossed and turned all night. At the moment that I felt ready to doze off, my alarm went off. My mind stays up thinking and rethinking the days, months and years. I wish I had as much energy this morning as my mind had last night.

Plug

 If something is not working, the first line of repair should be the plug. Yesterday the computer monitor went blank. My husband asked me how to reboot the router. At that point I got up from the couch to asses the damage before it became a bigger problem. He said that he wanted to reboot the entire system to get the monitor back on. I ordered him to step away from the monitor. Hands up. Freeze. Thankfully he complied. I explained that the router had nothing to do with the monitor screen, if the computer was on. I put my hand on the back of the monitor and made sure each plug was tight. One was a bit loose. I pushed it in more and lo and behold, the monitor lit up. This could have turned into a catastrophe. We were one plug away from a disaster.