Standing on the Rung

In the past few weeks, I have been evaluating where I am in life. I asked myself if I have accomplished my goals. I think I have. If I had the chance to go back in time and change my life, I would not. I like where I am and I am content. I have a job I love, a family that I adore and good friends that would do anything for me. Above and beyond. It is the best kind of "triple play". When there have been bumps in the road, someone has always been there for me, to help pave the way. I give credit to the people that strive for higher. I was always one to be at ease with what I have and not make too many waves. I realized that I never wanted to climb the ladder of success. I am the type of person that is happy just standing on a rung.

Things We Should Know

Every day we are bombarded with information. A great deal of it is about medicine. Most times it is contradictory. Red wine is good for you. Red wine is bad for you. Coffee is good for men. Coffee is bad for woman. And lets all just write off Chinese food. Too salty and fried. Our brains take in all of the information and even if it thinks that it does not relate to them, it stores it for future use. It does this all by itself, without any help on our part. My parents are in their late 80's. They are still as sharp as they were, in their 50's, even though they can't always remember what they had for breakfast. Last night, my father had a heart attack. My mother kept calm, and her  memory bank told her to give him 2 aspirin immediately. She did so, and it was a lifesaver. EMS was so impressed that she had the common sense to even know about the aspirin. He is in the hospital and should be fine, thanks, in part, to my mother. I guess knowing what you had for breakfast is irrelevant, as long as you know the real important things in life.

Dynamics

If I live to be 100, I will never understand the dynamics of people's relationships. I always say, if I start to understand why people behave as they do, it is time for me to leave this earth. In essence, I guess I will be around for a long, long time. In the large scheme of things, our lifespan is an instant in time, so I do not know why certain people choose to make these precious moments unhappy for others. Why can't people just be happy for each other. If someone has something better than me, I am happy for them. Some of us are not like that, though. They have made life a competition. Winner takes all. There are occasions that should be filled with joy but others feel the need to put a damper on things. Shame on those who create havoc and unhappiness. Treat others with the respect and care that you expect in return. When all is said and done, I know I will be able to look back at how I treated people and have no guilt. Will you?

One Armed Bandits

God created man with two arms and two legs. We differ from other species by having thumbs and the ability to grasp objects. We are the most intelligent of all living beings. So why do most of us not use our limbs to their full potential? We have two arms, but lately most people only use one. I was at a park the other day and saw a man pushing his young child on a swing. He was only using one arm. I was in the supermarket later that day and I saw a woman unloading her shopping cart, with only one arm. We are now driving with one arm and pushing baby carriages with one arm. The reason for this, is the cell phone. Our other hand is busy holding our telephones up to our ears. If this keeps up, our second arm will atrophy and slowly shrink away. We will single handedly lose what god has given us.

Roots, Wings and Perspective

A child is born into a family via the womb or via a selfless gift by another woman. No matter which way the child arrives, the class on Parenting 101 begins. There are three important chapters that must be learned in order to pass the final exam. They are Roots, Wings and Perspective. The chapter on roots teaches us that the child needs security and stability. They must know that wherever they travel there is one place on earth that will be constant. The roots in this case are not in the land, but in the hearts of the family they belong to. The chapter on roots is a long one as it passes through infancy, childhood and adolescence. As the child approaches adulthood, the chapter on wings begins. This chapter is a bit more complicated and the parent has to pay as close attention to the curriculum as the child. While the previous chapter established where they came from, this one guides them to where they will go. Wings do not come easily, so there is no glossing over the pages. Step one must come before step two, or they will fail the quizzes. Once the chapter is fully studied and all of the homework is handed in, you graduate with a strong and sturdy set of wings. Ready to soar into adulthood. The epilogue of the manual, and probably the most important part, is perspective. A parent must be able to see things with clear and open eyes. Without perspective, roots will rot and wings will have you fly in circles, going nowhere.

Cheap is Expensive

I am in the process of (still) helping my son remodel his newly acquired house. When he bought it, we all knew that this was going to be a group effort. If you knew how to do construction, you were in. If you didn't, you would learn. He is grateful for any help he is given. I never knew how much of a perfectionist my son is. He never noticed moldings, floors, windows or siding. He is now an expert. He can go to Home Depot and talk shop with the best of them. He is adamant that he "will not cut corners". He has become the foreman of the job, and he is a tough one. No paint drips, no scratches, things are to be sanded to the smoothness of a baby's behind. Truth be told, it is grueling. But the pride I feel when I leave his house each day, far surpasses the fatigue. He has learned, through experience, that if something is done right the first time, it saves money and additional effort. Today, his uncle Larry told him that "cheap is expensive". I loved that phrase as it sums up my son's work ethic. If something is done cheaply the first time, you will pay for it when it is redone the second time.

(In) Justice For All

We live in a country that prides itself on it's justice system. Local Courts, Federal Courts, Supreme Courts.We have evolved from Separate but Equal to total equality. Or so we think. Unfortunately, we have a two standard justice system. One for a "Regular" person, and one for a "Celebrity". For most of the regular population, even with a bit of leniency, if you do the crime you do the time. If  you are lucky enough to be put on probation and you break the rules, off to jail you go. No one wants to hear excuses. The court system has no patience for that....... unless you are a celebrity. Two young ladies, in particular, have been playing our justice system for years. Chance after chance, indiscretion after indiscretion. Failed drug tests and roof top parties. For a regular person, 2 years means maybe 15 months. For celebrities, it means 10 hours and news flashes about how they are crying and upset. What the judges and lawyers fail to realize, is that without punishment there is no real understanding of wrong doing. In many cases they circumvent the justice system to death. Literally. They will misbehave until they are found dead. When will the judicial system wise up? And Justice for All.......

Going Green

In the past decade, the world has been going green. This is a concept where we all band together and help save the environment by being conservative with our old wasteful ways. Use less gas, use less paper, cut out styro foam, and keep the use of plastic to a minimum.The only problem is, that while we are making great efforts, some of them are so convoluted that they are more wasteful than before. For example, when we go to the store to shop, we are encouraged to bring our own user friendly recycle bags. Most of us comply. Now that we are not using the store bags, what are we supposed to use for our trash? We used to use the ones from the supermarket. Now, we have to buy bags. So, off we go to the store, to purchase what would otherwise have been free bags. The bags are contained in a paper box, so we have created unnecessary trash from throwing out the box, after using the bags. My next example is the explanation of benefits we receive from health insurance companies, when our claims are paid. I work in the healthcare industry, so I receive many of these each day. In order to "go green" one company is only sending the check with a reference number.If you want to know who it belongs to, you must call them and they will send a fax. The only problem is that the fax consists of 5 pages. So instead of just printing the patient information on the same one piece of paper that the check is on, I am being sent a cover sheet, check image, 2 pages of claim dates and one page explaining the codes. The only thing going green in these 2 examples, is the green going out of my pocket and into the accounts of the paper companies.

Never Too Old

As we get older we try to act age appropriate. Sometimes we have to hold back our inner child, as we would look foolish doing things that we loved to do as children. Yesterday was a hot day. As the sun was going down I put on my lawn sprinklers. I stood there and watched as the water quenched the lawn. My daughter in law said "Let's run through the sprinklers". I laughed and said that it would be fun, but I am too old for that. She replied "you are never too old to run through the sprinklers". I thought about that statement and realized that even though I am getting older, I still have the same feelings as I had when I was in my 20's. We ran through the sprinklers and giggled as we got soaked down to our underwear. After having so much fun, I decided that I will never be too old to :

• Run through the sprinklers
• Get excited when I hear the ice cream truck
• Enjoy eating cotton candy
• Ride the Carousel
• Go on the swings

From now on, when I feel like doing something, even if it is childlike, I will say to myself, "You are never too old to run through the sprinklers".

Burning Bridges

I do not believe in burning bridges. I follow the saying that the people you step on going up the ladder are the same ones you meet going down. A good example of this happened to me this week. I manage an office and sometimes a person in your staff just does not fit in anymore and it is best if they leave. I do not have the heart to fire someone that has not blatantly done anything wrong but still I had to let one of my girls go. I took the positive approach. I called her aside and told her that she was stagnating in this job. She is young and bright and needs to move on. I told her to bring in her resume and I would work on it with her. When I reviewed it I saw why no one had called her for any interviews. I had her delete the line that said she was exotic and erase the phrase "if you are not serious about hiring do not call me. I don't like playing games". I explained that these 2 lines did not look professional and if they had been on her resume when I was hiring, I would not have called her either. She revised her resume and within 2 weeks found a higher paying job. Now I am coming to my point. Yesterday, all of my receptionists were sick and I would have had no one to run the front desk in the evening. I was desperate, as Mondays are the busiest night of the week.I called the girl that had left and she was thrilled to come and help out for the evening! What a lifesaver. I was glad I did not burn this bridge.

No Regrets

On the way to work today, I heard a country music song that I had not heard in many years. It is titled "I'm Gonna Live Like I Was Dying". All of us are alive, but how many of us are really living. Most average people live within the rules of normalcy. We dress appropriately, even if we are uncomfortable. We have public behaviors and monitor our actions. We have dreams of what we want to do "some day" but we all know that the majority of these things will never be done. We plan for all of life's adventures "when we retire". With retirement age rising we will all be lucky if we can still remember our lists. If we knew the day we would die, would we live a fuller life? If we were born with an expiration date would we use our days wisely before we became rotten? Would there be much waste? I want to be able to say that I did what made me happy and have no regrets or no" I should have's". Someone close to me did something on the spur of the moment this weekend. She went out of her comfort zone and followed her heart. She said it was the best thing she ever did and would have felt bad forever if she missed that opportunity. For that brief moment, she lived in the moment with no regrets.

Batting 1000

A few months ago, on a whim, I decided to start writing a blog. I had no idea about what the topic would be, so I decided to just let it write itself. Whatever thought came into my mind that day. If I saw something that was of interest or heard something on the news, that peaked my interest, I put it into this blog. I began to see that life writes itself. Instead of just gliding through my day, I would make a few stops and soak in my surroundings. Things that I thought, I said, Things that I felt, I wrote about. People, places, feelings, politics and injustices. It has become cathartic. A daily cleansing. Years ago it was called a diary or journal. Nowadays it is for public view. People can read it, follow it and even vote on whether or not they agree with it. I walk around with a pad and pencil and jot down thoughts that will be turned into future blogs. It is a test to my perseverance. Sticking with a daily task. The reason for today's blogs, is that I have hit 1000 page views. A milestone for me. A kind of validation, that good, bad or otherwise, people have taken a few moments out of their lives to read what I have to say. Thanks!

Common Denominator

We live in America. We are called the United States, but depending on where we live, there are many differences. East Coast to West Coast, North to South. I have traveled through many states in the past few decades and love the nuances of each area. Depending on where you live, a long bread filled with meat can either be a hero, a po'boy, a hoagie, a ginder or a sub. Where I live, when you eat in a Chinese restaurant, noodles and duck sauce arrive as soon as you are seated. I was shocked that in one New England state, rolls are served! I once went into a pizza parlor in Massachusetts and asked for a large pie. I was told that the bakery was down the block. In New York, a whole pizza is also referred to as a pie. I never thought that my order would be misconstrued. Language itself varies from region to region. Wicked means good, bad means good, good means good. How confusing. I love America's diversity. It keeps me on my toes.

Down the Road

This morning I got in the car for the long drive to Massachusetts to visit my son. This is his 30th birthday weekend. It boggles my mind, that 30 years have past, since the birth of this wonderful child. Where did the time go? How could he be 30, when I am only 25. In my mind, I feel as young as I did on the day he was born. As I drove up Interstate 95, a flood of memories came back to me. I remember sitting in the back seat with him, feeding him oatmeal, as we took our first trip upstate. When we passed Rye, NY, I remember taking him there when he was 5 years old and watching him eat pink cotton candy for the first time. He got it all over himself and it was so funny that I just had to take a picture. I remember the Aquarium in Mystic Connecticut, when he was 15. The further we went, the more recent the flashbacks were. I see him sitting in the back seat of the car on the day we took him to college. He did not want to go to an out of town college, but I knew that it was the best thing for him, and forced him to go. I guess I was right. He met his wife there, and relocated after he graduated. It dawned on me how fast the years have passed and that every moment of our life is precious.

It Takes A Village

Years ago, Hillary Clinton made a statement that "It takes a village to raise a child". I agreed with her then and I agree with her, more so, now. The only thing is, I would not limit this statement to a child. I think it takes a village just to survive in this world. I can only assume that "taking a village" was a euphemism  for support system. Even as an adult, I find that I rely more and more on friends and family around me. I am a very capable person, but there are still many things that I can not do alone. It is nice to know, that if needed, I can call on a few loyal "villagers" to come to the rescue. I am sad to think of people that do not have this. I would like to think that I give as much as I get. It is like a bank account. You need to make deposits before you can make withdrawals.

Commercial Medicine

Today my co workers and I were discussing dieting. Even though we all know that a healthy diet and exercise is the best way to lose weight, everyone seemed to know of a sure fire diet aid. One said Acai, one said Sensa, one said green tea, one said mangoes. Most of the information on these products was received from television doctors, and not their own physicians. We all know which doctors are prominent television personalities. Every few months they tout a new product and the masses of people purchase them. Six months later the old remedy is replaced by the new one and again there is a buying frenzy. I started to think.... are these TV personalities doctors or salesmen? I looked on one of their websites and saw advertising for the "product of the moment". Of course the small print does say "healthy diet and exercise" but no one really reads the small print. They are blinded by the fact that someone famous is recommending it. In all of the years I have been going to my doctor, he never recommended a diet aid. Good food, healthy lifestyle and vitamins, that is all he suggests. Are these television doctors really looking out for the good of the public or for the increase in their bank accounts.

Happy Birthday

Today is Flag day. It is also Gloria's birthday. Had she lived, she would have turned 84 today. She was my mother-in-law. She died suddenly in the middle of the night 18 years ago. She had never been sick, although her husband had health problems for many years. She always lamented "Please G-d, don't make me a widow". She died 6 weeks before her husband. I guess we should all be careful what we ask for, we might get it. She never was a widow. She was a good and kind woman, who deserved a better life. She spent many years making excuses for other people's behavior. It took me a long time to figure out why she acted as she did, and by that time, unbeknownst to me, our time together was limited. I taught my children to love her unconditionally and they always told her that they loved her. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her and it took many years not to cry when I thought of her. She was a wonderful woman who was just misunderstood. Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.

Drive Time

Most of us spend a portion of our day in our cars. Commuting to work or just doing errands. I look forward to my drive, to and from work. It is the only time of the day that I am totally alone. Me time. I can be alone with my thoughts and relax my mind. I can sing to the radio and even talk to myself out loud. Sometimes if I just feel like screaming, I do it. Anything goes. If the people driving next to me think I am crazy, so be it. This is my quality time and I will do whatever I want! I travel to work on the parkway, so the drive time varies. If it is raining, it is a longer ride. Occasionally there is an accident and then I am in for the long haul. I put these days into perspective. Most people hate sitting in a traffic jam, as I do, but think of the alternative. Would you rather be the one sitting in the traffic, or the one who caused it? So when things go slow on the road, just turn up the radio and sing louder.

Love Makes the Economy Go Round

America did not need a stimulus package. All of the money that Obama gave away neither improved nor stimulated our economy. The largest stimulus plan comes from Love. One boy, proposes to one girl, and for the next year they single handedly boost our economy. From the moment she says yes, to his "will you marry me", a frenzy is set into motion. The first industry to profit from this love match is the jewelry industry. A beautiful ring is a must. Then comes the entertainment industry. Catering hall, florist, photographers, music. Formal wear must be picked out and ordered. And believe me, it is not inexpensive. Now we move on to the Bridal Registry. Hundreds of gifts are put on the list from the most useful to the most absurd. One couple....350 gifts. A honeymoon must be planned so now the travel industry gets in on the action. Next, we move on to housing. Rent or own, each one costs money. Either choice, the home furnishing people will make commissions from this young couple, furnishing their new abode. This pattern has not changed since the beginning of our civilized society. I guess the Beatles were right. All you need is Love.

Something to be Proud of

The second Saturday of June is my town's Pride Day. I have attended it since my children were young. As I was walking through the park where it is held, I noticed how little the event had changed. All of the towns leaders were there as were the storekeepers. The bank president, the insurance salesman, the Fire Department and of course a few politicians. As usual there were plenty of free give aways. Pens, pads, water bottles and some other gadgets whose uses are still unknown. The local bagel store gave away bagels, the pizza store had unlimited pizza. If that was not enough, there were hot dogs, ices, cake and coffee. It seemed like Pleasantville. Everyone was smiling and greeting neighbors that they had not seen in a year. It was an atmosphere of joy and friendship. No wonder there is a large turnout each year. I wish every day could be town pride day. I left there feeling great and proud to live in my neighborhood.

Press 1

We are a society ruled by numbers. We could not live our daily lives without them. Each day we use a series of numbers from the moment we get up until the moment we go to sleep. They have been around since the beginning of mankind but our reliance on them has grown most in the last century. Some numbers that we relied on years ago, hold no meaning today. Remember the numbers 78/45/33. If you are my age, you would know that this is the speed settings from a record player. Kids had so much fun playing a 33 speed record on 78. Remember Route 66 or 77 Sunset Strip? Hawaii 5-0 was old, but now it is new again. 7-11 gets bigger every day. Not to mention Motel 6. I remember Windows 2.0. Now we are using Windows 7 and still upgrading. We have cell numbers, PIN numbers, social security numbers, healthcare numbers, address numbers and so on and so on. If you agree with this post, press 1 for yes or 2 for no. If you need technical assistance press 0 ...............

Life Cycles

As soon as we are born, we begin the life cycle. Every stage in our life is a new learning experience. Sometimes we get it right, other times we need a "do over". When we are young and have our first encounters with various life stages, sometimes we do not appreciate them. We react with our gut instincts and they are not always correct. That is why there is the expression "Hindsight is 20/20". I am very fortunate. In the last year I have been able to relive many life cycle events through my son and future daughter in law. They value my opinions and have included me in almost all of their wedding plans. This time around, I am looking at life through different glasses. I am enjoying every step of the way, stress free. I get to relive life's most happiest times, and this time I know the priorities. I am trying to give advice to my kids along the way. How many mothers-in-law are included in picking the bridal registry? Or having the pleasure of watching the hair and make-up trials. My kids have no idea how happy they are making me. So far, with the wedding weeks away, all things are running smoothly. Maybe that is life's reward to them, for having such open hearts.

Memories

We live in an age of computer technology. Anything you need to know can be found within minutes by searching for it. All of our information is stored in the computer hard drive and can be retrieved in seconds. Years of information. Stored in a mother board just inches in size. Our information is portable via flash drive and travels with us where ever we go. I began thinking.... The human brain is the original computer system. Look at the parallels. They both have memories. Years of information is stored in a small area. Sometimes they move slow. Occasionally they freeze. When they become totally overloaded they need a system restore. They are portable and can be used 24 hours a day. They are both wireless. They only difference is that the human brain has emotions. If a mistake is made instead of hitting the delete button we have the ability to say "sorry".

Stop and Smell the Roses

Things have been very hectic lately. I have a lot going on, planning a wedding and helping to fix up a new house. I feel like a hamster on a treadmill wheel. Constantly moving and sometimes going nowhere. From the time I get up at 6AM until I go to sleep at 10PM in the evening, I do not have a moment to spare. Yesterday I did something different. I sat in my backyard, under a tree for about a half hour. Doing nothing. Listening and breathing. I was amazed at what my senses showed me. I heard the birds. Not just one kind, but many species. Each one with its' own distinct chirp. They were almost conversing with each other. I smelled the trees. It almost smelled like a forest. So woodsy. I looked up at the sky. I noticed that the clouds are not really white. They are shades of pinks and grays and blues. Even the trees were not just green. They were shades of greens and yellows. I felt a bit sad that I have been so busy that I denied myself all of Natures Beauty. Sometimes, we all need to take a moment out of our busy lives and just stop and smell the roses.

Expect the Unexpected

Life holds many uncertainties. Although we would like to think that we are in full control, most of the time we are  not. Many of us use the phrase "Murphy's Law". Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Some weeks life runs smoothly and others seem like a black cloud is following you. Lately, I follow the rule of "Expect the Unexpected". This really means that we should all have a plan B when plan A fails. I have always tried to instill in my children to think of a solution even before there is a problem. Sometimes the first and second plans go awry but if you have thought  three steps ahead, there is much less aggravation.  I hate surprises whether they are good or bad. I like to be on top of things. Life is so much easier that way.

First Little Girl

Thirty years ago, today, our family was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. My sister gave birth to my niece. Even though she is not mine naturally, she is naturally mine. She was only a bit over five pounds when she was born and we called her an oven stuffer, just like the chicken. I remember waiting patiently for the telephone call, that said she had arrived. In those days there were no cell phones, so I called the hospital from every pay phone I passed. She has grown up to be the nicest woman I know. She is kind, caring and smart. She has married someone just like her. I wish her the best birthday ever. Happy 30th birthday "J".

The Five Minute Rule

Years ago, my sister and I coined the phrase "Five Minute Rule". The purpose of it was to enjoy every day as a whole and leave out any upsetting parts. If we all look at our daily lives, for the most part, they are happy and well run. But each day has some kind of monkey wrench thrown into it. Whether is was something that was said at work, or done at home, or even someones fleeting attitude in a store. I used to say that I wake up happy every day, until someone comes along and ruins it. Hence, the five minute rule. If we could have the ability to erase the worst five minutes of each day, life would be beautiful. Erase it, strike it from your memory, pretend it never happened and just continue the day as normal. This rule is well suited for friends, family and employees. The only catch is that you really have to stick to the rule. No lingering animosity or grudge holding. Wipe the chosen five minutes from your memory bank and continue the day. Many happy occasions were saved by this rule and it serves it's purpose as well now as it did 20 years ago. Try it. You will be happy you did!

Vacation

It is almost Summer! After having a rough winter, it is now the time to think about going on vacation. While vacations are wonderful, there are a certain group of people that should never leave their jobs for an extended period of time. These people coast along all year and do minimal job duties. Just enough to fly under the radar unnoticed. They do enough not to raise a red flag, but in reality, it is a shoddy job. This is where vacation comes in. If you are out sick for a day or two, no one else takes over your responsibilities. They know you will be back soon. When you go on vacation for a week or more, someone needs to pick up the slack. That is when all of the skeletons come falling out of the closet. Some people go on vacation and do not have a job to come back to. If someone else is going to be taking over your work load , you better have things in order. So, to all of the people that just "get by" all year, maybe you need to re think leaving for more than 2 days. If you are lazy at work all year, you have already been "on vacation"!

Que Sera, Sera

Que Sera, Sera, whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que Sera, Sera. These are the lyrics from the 1956 song, recorded by Doris Day. They hold as true today as they did then. How much say do we really have in our lives. I think that while we are all masters of our destinies, some things are not for us to control. The fact is that our lives unfold before us and we can only guide the way. Years ago, I used to worry, more than I should have, about everything. Then I came to realize that whether or not I worried, the outcome would be the same. I learned to relax. It was not easy to learn. I had to use these skills recently. My healthcare insurance was cut off last week due to the employer not paying for it. This affected 6,000 people. For the first time in my life, I did not let this bump in the road upset me. I knew that I was not in control and no matter how much I carried on, this was not something I could remedy. I took it in stride and hoped for the best. Yesterday, I found out that the employer has made a contingency plan. There is no lapse in coverage, although the insurance carrier has changed. Had I gone back to my old ways, I would have made myself sick over this. I went with the flow and things turned out OK. Que Sera, Sera..........................

Niagra Falls

Years ago, there was a skit by Abbott and Costello, named Niagra Falls. Whenever the word "Niagra Falls" was said, it made Costello turn around and become possessed....Slowly I turn, step by step, was the catch phrase and then he went wild. We all have our Niagra Falls. It is a word or a situation that just sets us off and make us angry. I know the buttons to push with certain friends and family members and I have to admit that sometimes I knowingly press them. I have recently realized what my Niagra Falls is. It is disrespect. It became clear to me when I saw how my son reacted to someone the other day. I saw myself in him. We both would do anything for anyone, but if you disrespect or dismiss us as being ignorant...... watch out!! We discussed this and laughed. Now that we are aware of our trigger, will be careful not to pull it.