Wrapping My Head Around It

It is now holiday time. Everyone is busy buying and wrapping gifts. Except me. I never have any idea of what to get for people. I never have a problem writing this blog, but I have a problem coming up with a creative gift for each person. I am sure that they will either not like, nor have any use for, anything I give. I am amazed when I open my Hanukkah gifts, to see the great things my family purchased for me. How do they know what I would love, when I do not even know. For the past few years I have been giving cash. It is universal. It covers all present groups. It is artwork (cultural), made of linen (like clothes), something you can read (educational), and has a bit of history attached to it (intellectual). It is also the gift that keeps on giving. So far, no one has seemed to complain. Just like my older son once said, "It's all about the Benjamins".

Define "Lie"

I have been having a running discussion with one of my co workers as to what defines telling a lie. I say that omitting the truth, when directly asked a question, is a lie. She says it isn't. This all goes back to when I hired a girl a few months ago. I asked her if she had any children. This is important, as the position is for a one person reception job. If she is not able to come in, there would be no one to sit at the front desk. I know that people do get sick, but my previous experience is that women with children have a higher absence rate. Had this not been a one woman office at night, I would not have cared. When I asked the question, the girl looked me straight in the eyes and said that she had no children. I was quite annoyed, when three weeks later, I found out, through the grapevine, that she was 7 months pregnant. She did not have a big belly, so no one knew, until the day her stomach popped. Since she was already hired, I cannot fire her. She has now been out of work for 5 weeks. The baby is one week late and if she has a C-Section, it will be another month at least until she is back. This is now a politically correct world, so I cannot fire her. I have random people filling in for her on a daily basis. This is not good. That is where the debate of the word "lie" comes in. I was lied to and now my office is suffering.

Defending Your Life

Years ago, there was a movie starring Albert Brooks named Defending Your Life. I have always enjoyed watching this movie.It was a comedy but it had serious undertones.Will any of us really be able to defend our lives, if we are asked to? It will be easy to defend the good things that we have done. What about the callous things, or the wrong things. How do we account for those. No one is perfect, but some people just try harder than others. If you have intentionally done wrong, how can you defend it? If you have intentionally hurt others, how can you defend it? I do not want to live my life on the defensive, so I try hard to live a life that I can easily defend.

Waiting in the Wings

I am not a very fussy person, but I do have some favorite products. Unfortunately, the products I love, usually wind up being discontinued. I have learned to stockpile these items, so when the manufacturer decides to punish me and take them off the market, I have a few weeks left of the product and have time to find a close second. This scenario has happened with Gatorade Ice tea and Avon lipsticks, just to name two. Every morning, for the past year, I have eaten yogurt and granola for breakfast. Each of these items is only sold in one store. I am already on shaky ground. A friend once told me if you love a product you must always have one waiting in the wings. I followed her advice. Yesterday, I went to buy the granola. It is a cashew, almond, candied ginger blend. Yum. I went to the granola aisle and much to my horror, the shelf had a blueberry granola imposter, sitting where my beloved ginger blend used to be. My knees went weak. This couldn't be happening. I called over a salesgirl and she had no idea why the granola was not there. We put out an emergency call to the manager. He checked his stock list and informed me that due to the holiday, the shipment was a day late and would arrive that evening. I could breath again. This morning I am returning to the store and will buy four boxes. I will now need a quartet waiting in the wings.

New Horizons

I am not a big fan of television. I mainly watch documentaries and National Geographic. I never watch award shows and never watch concert shows. I must have watched a boring show once and never tried again. Last night I watched a recorded show, starring Lady GaGa. I knew nothing about her, other than she wears crazy outfits and occasionally, meat. I was so surprised at what I saw. She was a beautiful girl who sang wonderful songs. She did a duet with Tony Bennett and a segment with elementary school children. It seems that the show was recorded in the elementary school cafeteria, and even a teacher came by to say hello. I was so impressed by her music and her explanation of what the songs meant. She showed family photos and let the audience have a glimpse of what seems to be a normal family life. I am now a fan of Lady GaGa. I guess we are never too old to open up our horizons.

Black Friday

Retailers have named the day after Thanksgiving, "Black Friday". I liked it better when it was called "the day after Thanksgiving". I am not sure if people realize that Black Friday means it is a day that the public will spend enough money in retail stores to have the ledgers show a profit. A few years ago, in 2008, at 5AM, in a neighboring town, Valley Stream, NY, a security guard was trampled to death in Walmart, when the crowd rushed in, in a buying frenzy. Obviously, the mans death meant nothing to the store, as they still open early on Black Friday. Let's take a moment to show our respects to Jdimytai Damour, who did not need to die at 34 years old, because people wanted bargains. Large retailers are psychologically toying with our minds in an effort to make money. If no one showed up early at the stores, they would have to open at normal hours. Not even a man's death, stops corporate greed.

Giving Thanks

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. Thanksgiving. For the past 25 years, I have been spending this holiday with my brother-in-laws family. We rotate who hosts the dinner, so every five years, it is my turn. When we first started this tradition, the children were babies. This year they are bringing their own babies. One of the traditions is to add a Thanksgiving decoration to the table. One year it was salt shakers, one years it was candles, one year it was serving spoons. At the end of the dinner, the bag of decorations is passed on to the person who is next in line to host the dinner. It will be a day of great food, great conversation and so many desserts, we could fill a bakery. The day will fly by. I have watched the progression of time as each dinner begins. Twenty five years of wonderful memories.

ThanksGreedy Day

Today is the day before Thanksgiving and for the past week there has been some controversy about the times that some retail stores plan to open for what is now referred to as Black Friday. A few years ago stores began to open at 7am. Then it was pushed back to 4am. Some stores plan to open at 12 midnight this year. Others are choosing to open Thanksgiving evening at 8pm. A large retailer said that their "guests" want to begin shopping this early. They used the word guests for a reason. The word shoppers would sound too commercial and greedy. What about their employees? Don't they deserve a day off with their families. If it was not for them, your business would not be running. Personally, I will boycott any store that opens before 7am on Friday. I know it will not make one bit of difference, but in my own mind, it will. So to all of the stores that value money more than family, Happy ThanksGreedy Day.

Lists

As I get older, I seem to forget things. This has nothing to do with dementia. It is just brain overload. I have begun to carry a pad and a pen with me, so when I need to remember what to buy in the supermarket, or who I need to return a call to, I just jot it down. We all have ways to remember things. This is called a Structure. It could be a rubber band on our wrists or moving something out of place in our homes. Lately, at night, while I am trying to fall asleep, I think of topics for this blog. I go over the thought in my head a dozen times as I say, remember it, remember it. When I get up, lo and behold..... I forgot it. I do not want to leave a pad by my bed, because then I will have to get up, turn on the light, and start writing the thought down. Then I will never fall back to sleep. I guess I just need to empty my brain of all the senseless things it is carrying around, to make room for the more important ones.

Two x Two

I received an email the other day and it was very thought provoking. It was about how much it costs to pay for someones yearly welfare bill. The numbers were staggering. Not because of the amount of money it takes to feed, clothe and provide for living quarters. I am talking about the amount of people in each family that the states are paying for. I know that due to circumstances, people need public assistance. But there also should be a plan in place to get the people off of the welfare rolls. Here is where the email comes in. It seems that while on welfare, families are continuing to have children. It is not my business how many children you have, but it is my business when I am helping to pay for them. I go to work every day and pay the taxes towards your monthly welfare expenses. I have an idea. If you sign up for welfare, the number of people in your family receiving the benefits needs to be capped. If you have 2 children, we pay for you and the two children. If you choose to have 4 more children, we still pay for you and two children. Divide the portions a bit smaller. Like I do. If you do not work, do not multiply.

My Fair Lady

Today, I am working at the annual craft fair in my town. I will be selling handmade jewelry and other specialty items.I have done this fair for the past 4 years. One year it was snowed out, which was strange, because New York usually does not have snow storms in November. It is always a fun day. Most of the items that are sold are hand crafted and it is nice to see how much love is put into their production.I would like to sell a lot of items, but you never know what the crowd is looking for on any particular day. Many people are just gazers. They walk along while talking with their friends and just gaze over the goods. I think they are there more for the exercising than the shopping. Whether I sell my jewelry or not, I will still have an eventful day just people watching.

Dreaming

I have always had good dreams. I may not sleep through the entire night, but my dreams are pleasant. Sometimes, I wake up smiling because the dreams were so real. The content of the dreams is always changing. I am not a person that has recurrent dreams. That would be eerie. I do not understand why I have certain dreams but other dreams make sense. Last night, I had a funny dream. I was at my nieces baby shower and someone bought the new baby a kindle. What an odd baby gift. In the dream it made total sense. If we go by genetics, this baby will be the nicest, smartest baby. He or she will take after it's parents. Nice and smart. What a great combination.

The Best Sleep

I am not the best sleeper. I always joke that I have not slept a full night since 1980. My children awoke every two hours when they were babies and then when they were toddlers, one of them began to sleep walk. I guess my sleep pattern became one of waking up every few hours. I have gotten used to this. Some nights, I toss and turn for hours and think I will never fall asleep. Then It happens. I fall into a deep sleep one half hour before the alarm rings. I am so sound asleep when I hear the buzzer sound, that I think it is the middle of the night.  I wake up exhausted. I hate when people say they had a bad nights sleep because they only slept 6 hours. That would be 3 of my nights. I guess I do not really look 55 because I do not have time to age in my sleep.

Yellow Pages

When I came home from work yesterday, I found two books sitting on my front porch. The Yellow Pages had made their yearly arrival. I go through the same routine each year. I go into my front hall closet, remove last years books, recycle them, and replace the empty spot with this years Yellow Pages. The two new books will remain hidden on the shelf until next year when I go through the same ritual. They will never be looked at, never touched, but I would feel bad if I just threw them away, the day they were delivered. I guess I  have a soft spot for the good times we had in past years. The yellow pages were an important part of our lives in the pre-internet days. Who can forget looking in them and trying to hit the correct alphabetized page on the first shot. I was always just a few pages away so I went back 4, forward 2 and finally came across the page I needed. Now, with the internet,I just key word the name I want, and instantly the information appears. The day the Yellow Pages stop coming will be the day that another piece of America is lost forever.

The Perfect Frame

We all have good hair days and bad hair days. The good ones are just before a haircut. It is like the theory that when you feel sick and go to the doctor, you will usually feel better in the waiting room. Today, I am having a goofy hair day. I cannot do a thing with it. If I went to work, people might laugh at me. Just as I was at the end of all of my options, I remembered what one of my friends once said to me. She told me that if you style the hair around your face to look good, no one will notice the rest of it. It can look wind blown or even mangled and no one will say a word. She referred to it as "framing your face". I took this advice and styled my bangs. Lo and behold, it worked. I looked presentable enough to leave the house. My face was framed and I looked picture perfect.

The Cold War

This week I have a cold. It is amazing how a tiny virus, that is invisible to the eye, can infiltrate my system and wreak havoc. I thought that I could fool it by taking over the counter medications. I used antihistamines, decongestants, cough suppressants and Tylenol. Nothing worked. The tiny virus made me go to the doctor. I try, at all costs, to avoid the doctor. Not because I do not like her, but I hate to wait in the office. Yesterday, the tiny virus won. It showed me who was boss. So, off to the doctor, I went. I had an endoscopy, sonogram, tympanogram, irrigation and pulmonary function test. The diagnosis was.....a cold. I could hear the cash register clinking as I added up the price of the visit. No wonder insurance premiums are so high. Next stop was the pharmacy. I got an antibiotic, steroid, nasal spray, cough pill and ear drops. I remember the days when the doctor came to your house, looked in your throat and gave you an injection in your behind.

Nicknames

Whatever happened to nicknames? From the 1930's until about the 1970's, nicknames were popular. If you had light blond hair, your nickname was Whitey. If you had red hair, your nickname was Rusty. There were plenty of Cookies and Tex's. At one point, our First Lady was nicknamed Lady Bird. Somehow, no one thought it was strange. I have even known a Babe, a Lolly and a Champy. I always wondered who gave these people their nicknames and why they stuck. I cannot think of anyone that was born since 1980, that has a nickname. I guess as time moved on, we lost a bit of our fun side.

Every Twenty Years

In the past few years, when I have been shopping for new clothes, the styles seem so familiar. It is like I am reliving my teenage years. The jacket styles are almost the same. The ribbed sweaters are practically identical. Even the shoes. In the 1940's, wedge shoes were in style. They phased out by the 50's. In the 70's they made a reappearance only to fade by the 1980's. This year, guess what? They are back again. I do not think that the young girls who are buying them, realize that to us older people, these are not new fashions. One of my friends used to say that if you stack your clothes on a chair and flip the pile every twenty years, you will be in style. She was right. I shudder to think that one day hot pants will reappear.

Beautiful Colors

As I was driving to work yesterday, I looked around and finally saw the beautiful Autumn leaves. For some reason, maybe global warming, the leaves did not change their colors as early as they used to. Normally mid October is when I notice the beautiful array of orange and red. This year I had to wait until early November. No matter how many years I see the leaves change, I am always amazed. Artists have been painting these types of scenery for hundreds of years, so I guess our concept of beauty has remained the same. Each year at our Thanksgiving table, we spread out an assortment of Autumn leaves on the dinner table. Of course these leaves are fabric, as no one would want to share their dinner with bugs. The effect is still the same. Nature at it's most beautiful.

Veterans Day

Today is a special day. It is not only 11-11-11. It is my daughter-in-laws birthday. She is as special as the date. It is also Veterans Day. Many of us take our armed forces for granted. We know they are there to protect us, but we have no idea the hardships they go through to do so. I do not think anyone can understand the horror of war, unless you have been there to hear the sounds, smell the smells and see the bloodshed. The brave men and women of the US Armed Forces have lived this. The veterans of all wars, with the exception of the Vietnam war, have been admired for their patriotism. It took years for many of us to say thank you to the Vietnam soldiers. I do not understand why how we could have been so callous to them, when they were only following orders from our government. That was a sad time for America, and unfortunately, no matter how much we say thanks today, it can never erase the hurt of years ago. So, thank you to all of our Veterans. We would not be here without you.

Samples

What is it about free samples that makes us so happy? If I see a free sample in a store, I have to get it. Even if I have no use for it. I have tasted food that I otherwise would have stayed away from, if there were free samples. When there is a free box of cereal or a granola bar, sealed into my Sunday newspaper, I feel like I hit the jackpot. I am ashamed to say that sometimes I have gone back for another free sample. I shop at Costco and they usually have enough samples for a good lunch. I used to be embarrassed to ask for more than one, until a worker told me that they are instructed to give out as many samples to a person, as they want. A few months ago I even ate a free sample of vitamins. After I swallowed it, I though to myself "it is a good thing they did not offer me poison, or I would have died in aisle 7".

Six Degrees of Separation

Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that everyone is, on average, approximately six steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person on Earth. If that theory is correct, a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in six steps or fewer. It was a concept that seemed hard to comprehend, before the days of Face Book. Now, it is a scary reality. Friends and family that have been estranged for years, have the ability of being reunited, with just a click of the mouse. Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it isn't. It is our choice to choose our connections wisely and use the six degrees in a positive way. 

Election Day

Election Day is finally here. Political careers will begin and annoying phone calls will end. I wonder how much political fund money was spent on these calls. They came at all times of the day and night. The caller ID was always from out of state so you never knew who was making the call. If I answered the call, I would get a recorded voice. Once I heard it was a recording, I promptly hung up. I don't do recordings, no matter who they are from. I feel like I am being forced to hear someones point of view without being able to respond. Last night, I received the best political call. When I answered the call, the recorded voice said "Please Don't Hang Up"! Robot desperation, I love it. I did hang up because I couldn't bear to hear a robot cry. After today, at least until the next election, the amount of annoying calls will be less. Now, if I could only find a way to stop the other nuisance calls.

Laundry Envy

I do many things in life well. There is one thing I could do better. Laundry. It always comes out clean, but I cannot guarantee that it will come out the same color it went in. Sometimes I just do not have enough colored items to fill even a small load, so I get lazy and combine whites and colors. Last summer I did that and much to everyone's dismay, we all wore pink underwear for a long time. It seems that the brown socks gave off a red dye and the white underwear turned pink. As soon as I saw this, I knew no one would be happy. I then rewashed the white load in hot water and bleach. The pink color was still there. I have re-washed the load 4 times with bleach and still no change. My family is now used to pink underwear and they pray they will never be in an accident, because if they are rushed to the hospital, in their pink boxer shorts, the ER staff will laugh at them.

Queen for a Day

Human beings have simple needs. Even though we live in a world with superior technology, that technology does not fulfill certain needs. Only another human being can do that. The need to feel loved, the need to feel wanted, the need to feel needed. Mark Twain was quoted as saying, "I can live for two months, on one good compliment". He was right. In the 1950's there was a radio show, that later became a television show, titled "Queen for a Day". Three housewives sat on stage while the announcer described their lives to a live audience. Most of these woman had pretty sad lives. At the end of the show the audience would applaud for the one they thought should be Queen for a Day. The loudness of the applause would be shown on the stage, like a thermometer, rising, as the intensity of the sound increased. The woman who received the loudest applause would then be seated in the large Queen chair. She would be showered with gifts. First a bunch of small ones, that culminated into the grand prize. This was usually a washer and dryer. She cried, as her family gathered around her. For that one moment in time, she was special. It takes such little effort to make someone feel good. Today, try doing just one nice thing for someone else, and YOU will feel like a Queen for a Day.

Taps

When I was a child, my mother used to take me to Stride Rite for my shoes. It was a big event to go shoe shopping. There were no "do it yourself" places, in those days. You went to the store and waited your turn, until a salesman could give you his undivided attention. He would have you stand on the metal foot measure and then press your toes down, to get the correct size. He went into the back of the store and brought out one or two choices that you mother thought would be good. He sat in front of you, on the stool with the sloped footrest and put the shoes on your feet. For some reason, he always tied them too tight, but being a good child, I never complained. He would have you stand up, and he would press the front of the shoe down, at the toe, to see if you had enough growing room. My mother never took his word for it, so she had to press down on my toe, too. Once it was decided that this was "the pair", we would go to the counter to purchase them. Then came my favorite part of the day. The salesman asked if we wanted taps put on the shoes. Taps were pieces of metal that were nailed into the shoe, to make the soles last longer. There were front taps and back taps. I usually got both! When I wore the shoes outside for the first time, there was no better feeling than hearing the new taps clink on the sidewalk. Tap, tap, tap.

Weather....Or Not

I always told my children that they should have become weathermen. That is the one job that has no ramifications for being right or wrong. As long as you are physically attractive you will do a good job. If the forecast says snow, and it does not snow, the news anchors thank the weather person. If the forecast says snow and it does snow, the news anchors thank the weather person. This is a job where you can do no wrong, whether you are right or wrong. The Farmers Almanac said it all, when I read it the other day. It said that the month of December will be either above, right at, or below, the average temperature for the month. I am not kidding. That is what it said. I wish I could do that at work. Maybe I could tell a patient that they will be diagnosed correctly, incorrectly or not at all. Than I will ask for their copay.

Out of Focus

I work in a field that renders family therapy to patients. I am sometimes astounded that many times the therapists who give advice, cannot hold their own families together. I know of two doctors that have recently seen their families fall apart. All of their knowledge and education could not prevent the downward spiral. The advice that they give to others, apparently did not apply to themselves. The heartache and devastation were the same on both sides of the fence. I guess we look at our lives as if we are looking through a camera lens. If you are too close, the picture is out of focus. If you move further away, things become clearer.

GOALS

We all have goals in life. Some are big and some are small. No goal is unrealistic. Years ago, a little boy told his parents, he wanted to walk on the moon. Years later, he did. If he can walk on the moon, then we can fulfill our dreams. In my mind the word Goal stands for GetOutAndLive. Like Nike says, just do it. In the past year, I have realized what I wanted to do, and slowly but surely, found the way to complete the task. I have wanted to be a writer, for years. No one, not even my family, knew that. One day, I sat down at this computer, and taught myself how to set up this blog. Even if nobody read it, I was still writing. Amazingly, people do read it. As of today, over 6,300 page views. Some from as far away as Russia. So, if you have a dream, don't listen to others telling you that you can't do it. Just go for it.

Flip Flop

Every day when I listen to the news, I hear another bit of health information. Within the last year, I have been told that coffee is good for me, coffee is bad for me, red wine is good for me, red wine is bad for me, jogging is better than walking, walking is better than jogging, 30 sunscreen is the best strength and then, anything over 15 sunscreen doesn't work. I want to know who is doing these studies. It seems to be a merry-go-round of information. The news channels announce this breaking news with such enthusiasm, that I wonder if they remember what they told their viewers a few months ago. I truly believe that anything in moderation is the best advice. Eat what you like, exercise how you feel most comfortable and just try to live the best possible life. The only flip flops I like, are the ones on my feet.