Respect

I was at my town pool yesterday and saw the same families I have been with in the summer for the past 20 years. One family in particular is very nice, but they do not know how to interact with each other. There is yelling, screaming and nastiness. A bit of spilled juice turned into a screaming match with the mother telling the daughter that she had no common sense. She did this in front of the entire pool. The daughter has her PhD, so believe me, she is a smart girl. At my lectures I teach that we need to speak to our families in the tone and manner we would speak to strangers. We talk nicer to people we do not know, than to people we love.

Little Man

I saw a transition over the weekend. My grandson went from infant to toddler. Since the day he was born, I experienced each phase he went through with different eyes than I had with my children. The accomplishments that I took for granted with my children became milestones for him. Last night we went out to eat with him, as we have done almost every weekend since he was born. He used to sit in the infant car seat, then in his mother's arms. He was not strong enough to sit in the wooden high chairs that most restaurants provide. He would slip and slide in them. I bought a great travel highchair for him that looks like the top half of his real one. We used it for the first time last night. He sat across from me eating his baby food when he spotted his mother's mashed potatoes. He opened his mouth wide like he wanted them. She fed him mashed potatoes for the first time and he loved them. He sat like a little man for the entire dinner, eating and giggling. That is the moment when I saw the transformation.

A Good Tired

I am so tired, but for a good reason. My children just got on the road to go back to Massachusetts. As they left, my granddaughter lifted up her arms for me to hold her. It took two days for her to warm up to me and now she is going home. When my son put her in the car seat she pointed to the seat next to her to tell me that I should come too. I was so happy that she wanted me to go home with her. We had family over for two days and the house is almost back in order. Tonight I will sleep well.

Scammers

I was walking out of the grocery store yesterday when a couple in their late 30's approached me. They had a gas can in their hand. They told me that their car was in the parking lot and they had run out of gas and asked if I could  give them a few dollars so they could put gas in their tank. Of course I said no. Number one, who travels with a gas can in their car? The last time anyone did that was during Hurricane Sandy. I figured that they were thinking if they asked for a few dollars from multiple people, they would make enough money for whatever they intended it for. I got in my car and started to pull away as I saw them approach other people. I passed by them again, rolled down my window and offered a suggestion. I told them that I would be glad to call the police for them, as police will always help out people in need. They looked a bit panicked but said that was not necessary. I left the lot and then called the store manager. He said he would take care of it.

Many Babies

This afternoon my son and his family are coming in from Massachusetts. They have not seen my parents for 10 months and want to have them see their daughter. I will have a house full of babies. My grandson will be there as well as my great niece. I can't wait to see the babies interact as they do not see each other often. Tomorrow I will have more people for dinner and one additional baby. It will be a mini play date.

Proactive

About ten years ago, my son used the word proactive when describing the police department he was applying to in Massachusetts. I never used that word before then, but I use it a lot now. I am a proactive person. I think of step C when I am doing step A. Step B is not far enough down the line for me. I like to be one step ahead of the game. I have a friend who barely thinks of step A. This week, his way of doing things backfired on him. He planned a trip to Hershey Park with his grandson. He made reservations for three nights. A day later he decided two nights were enough. I said to cancel the Thursday night stay on Sunday. He argued that it was fine to do it when he arrived Monday. He got on the road and never really mapped the trip out. Half way there I got the frantic call that he was lost. I got online and directed him in the right direction. When he got to the hotel at 9pm, he told them that he was not staying the third night. They said he had to have cancelled before 6pm that day and there would be the charge for the cancelled night. He went to Hershey Park on Tuesday and while riding the roller coaster, he lost his car keys. I said to take a second set of keys with him since he was traveling far, but he said I was paranoid. I have no idea how he got his car out of the parking lot last night. That was his problem for not listening.

Real Oldies

I went to a concert in the park the other night. It starred 4 "oldies" doo wop groups. I had never heard of two of them although they said they had top 20 hits. The headline group was wonderful. They still had strong voices and sang on key. The other groups were not too good. One in particular was terrible. The men shuffled out onto stage and looked like they were almost 80 years old, which sounds right if their hits were in 1959. Their voices were quivering and they
could not hold a note. They looked strained as they tried to sway to the music. Maybe they were swaying because they were having trouble standing without assistance. I wondered if the town had even auditioned them before hiring them. Sometimes we need to know when we can no longer do what we love and just enjoy what we had.

Where is the Passion?

I have been listening to the PBS concert series lately. They have been featuring the artists from the 1960's and 1970's. Carole King and James Taylor. Peter, Paul and Mary. Joan Collins and other folk singers. Their songs are wonderful and bring back many memories. They sing about their love of this country and how each person needs to love each other. Their music has passion to it. It is calming and peaceful and makes you think about society. They were a cross between beatniks and hippies. I began thinking that our country's passion has disappeared. We have lost our values. We are fascinated by "reality" but the reality we see on the internet or television is all fake. I taped all of the concerts so when reality gets to be too much, I can sit back and listen to better times.

Time

Time is a funny thing. Sometimes we never have enough of it and sometimes we have too much. There never seems to be a happy medium. This morning I got up and needed to look for some papers that I had filed away. The time flew by and before I realized it, 2 hours had gone by. I was in such a rush that I did not have time to write my blog as early as usual. Now I am home and have nothing in particular to do, so time is moving slowly. The minutes and seconds are the same. Our schedule is what dictates how we perceive the time.

A Mother

Having a mother is something we all take for granted. She is someone who is always there and has our best interest at heart. She is someone we can share life's accomplishments with and someone we can cry to when times are rough. I have a good friend who lost her mother when she was 20 years old. My friend is now 30. I see how the loss of a mother has affected her. She has no siblings so that makes it worse. She is not in a relationship and has no real family except for her father. I have become her shoulder to cry on and her person to share her accomplishments with. Yesterday she was upset and called me in tears. I sat and listened to her sob for about a half hour. I did not need to say much of anything, as all she needed was to know that I was on the other end of the phone. When she got it all out, she took a deep breath and felt better. She said that just listening to her was what her mother would have done.

One Rule

There is one rule in my family that cannot be broken. Yesterday, my husband broke that rule. He shopped in a local craft store...without a coupon. It must have been a moment of insanity or maybe a mini stroke. He needed a picture frame for a nonsensical certificate and could not wait for me to buy it. He took it upon himself (without prior authorization) to go to the store alone. He paid $9.00, full price, for a frame that should have cost $5.40, with a coupon. I did not yell at him, because I knew it was going to be returned this morning. He will need a refresher course in coupon shopping. If you do not get 20% or 40% off, you walk out of the store.

Happy Birthday

June 19, 1981 was the best day of my life. My first child was born. From the moment he was born, life has never been the same. The years have flown by. My little man has grown into a big man. I remember snippets of his childhood with great fondness. I cannot remember anything bad. I guess our memories filter out all of the childhood nonsense and leave us thinking that we brought our children up wonderfully. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

Disgruntled Employee

Since my husband has been on disability there were phone calls that needed to be made to his union. That is not his strong point. He has no idea what to say. One afternoon he called the disability department and a nasty woman got on the phone. She was his representative for his claims. He said that he wanted her to speak to me  and I got on the phone. After I said hello, she demanded that he get back on. She told him that she would only speak to him. He said he wanted her to talk to me. She said no. I explained that he had no idea what questions to ask. She still said no. We put her on speakerphone and decided to play the game with her. I said, "Ask her if she got the form". He said, "Did you get the form". She said yes and he repeated to me that she said yes. We did this for about ten questions and she finally realized how moronic her request was. I then spoke to her directly on speaker phone and got all of the information. I did not want to fight with her and inform her that by him saying I could be spoken to, under Hipaa law, she had to do it. She accomplished nothing by being spiteful.

Even Dogs Know

How we react to people depends on the "vibes" that we are given. We act calmly when surrounded by a calm person and we act agitated when surrounded by an irritable person. Human beings are wired that way. Apparently, so are dogs. I live next to a very aggressive Labrador retriever. When I walk Shelby, this dog bolts at us, as if he is on the attack. He bares his teeth and growls. Shelby then retaliates by barking and jumping. Most days, I slowly scan the yard to see if Milo is there. Once the coast is clear, we venture into the yard. On Father's Day, the next door neighbor on the other side of my yard had a cousin that was visiting and he brought his dog. It was a very large Boxer. Four times the size of Shelby. I had no idea that the dog was in the yard when I went out. After I was midway into the yard, standing at the fence, this huge dog slowly walked over. Shelby slowly walked to meet him. They both stood silently at the fence touching noses and wagging their tails. It was so cute to see. Two dogs, just being friends. It just goes to show you that even dogs react well to good behavior.

Wake Up Call

Every morning for as long as I can remember, my sister calls me at about 6:45am to say good morning. We discuss what we did the prior day, even though we spoke 10 times and then discuss what we will do today. We repeat ourselves over and over, but it still seems like the first time we say things. At some point in the conversation we always find something to laugh about. I love to start my day this way. It just makes things feel right.

Good Advice

Nobody in the world knows it all. I have learned over the years that asking for advice is for your own benefit. I have been making greeting scrolls as gifts for friends and family. I give them instead of greeting cards and as keepsakes. I decided that I wanted to sell them on the Etsy website, which is a site for crafters,  but I knew nothing about how to go about doing it. My sister in law sells customized boxes and picture frames (and so much more I cannot list) on the Etsy site. Her items sell well because they are beautiful and well made. She uses ribbons to embellish the items, thus the name of her shop is "RibbonMade". (www.etsy.com/shop/RibbonMade). I showed her my items and listened intently as she gave me her feedback. She was right on target with all of her advice. She pointed out things that I never would have realized. I had my own personal "Shark". She was even kind enough to design a web page banner for me. That gesture was extra special as she is also a professional commercial artist. I will do the work and set up my shop and hope for the best. Her advice was worth a million. Thanks, Barbara!

A Day Early

We are celebrating Father's Day one day early. Due to people's work and family schedules, it just worked out this way. A day is a day and it doesn't really matter as long as family is together. For many years, I had a dual celebration. My oldest son was born on Father's Day weekend 33 years ago. That is why it became tradition for me to have a barbeque. He could not come to New York this weekend, but the best he could do was in 2 weeks on a Thursday. I will take what I can get, as long as I see his face. It is a beautiful day and I am looking forward to having my family here.

Great Group

I lectured last night on Amsterdam Avenue at the Public Library. It is at my favorite library. The community room is beautiful with floor to ceiling glass doors and shiny hardwood floors. Even the wooden chairs matched the decor. This library attracts a lovely group of people, both men and women. Even though I had a 6 page booklet to work from, we only got through 2 questions. The group was vocal and interested in each other. The hour flew by. I hope they ask me back.

Lecture Time

This afternoon I will be lecturing on the upper west side of Manhattan. This is my favorite library to speak at. The last time I was there, the nicest group of women showed up. They were all business women and extremely intelligent and interactive. The room that I spoke in was just renovated, so that added to the atmosphere. I never know who will be attending or how many, so as each person walks in, I am surprised. This is the last lecture of the spring session, After this, I wait to see which branches want me to speak in the Fall.

Emails

I love the world of email. It is so cut and dry. I had to contact a business associate yesterday but did not want to go through all of the social graces that a telephone call entails. I wanted to ask a question and get an answer. Nothing more, nothing less. I wrote the email at 9am and by 9:15 am I had my answer. Everything should be so easy.

Scenic Route

As I was driving to work last week, I noticed a new sign on the parkway. I could not read it, but it was a blue sign with  writing on a black background. It looked like a sign that tells you about what attractions are at the next exit. For the next few days, every time I passed the sign, I tried to read it. I could not seem to catch the wording. Finally, yesterday, I was going at a slow enough pace to see what the sign said. It said, "Polish American Museum" and "Falaise Mansion". What? I am living here for 34 years and never knew of a Polish American Museum. I have heard of the mansion. What is so important about these two minor attractions that warranted taxpayer dollars to pay for a sign? This sign is so small that it is a distraction.

Rescheduling

This morning I will have to reschedule one of my doctor's weeks. He and his wife had their first child over the weekend, so he will not be in this week. All of his patients knew this was going to happen. Most of them will be fine with it, but some of them will not. People tend to think that doctors do not have a life outside of the office and are only alive to fulfill the patient's needs. I know that I will be speaking to a few upset people that do not think that this man needs to be at home for a few days. I will need to set them straight.

53 days

After 53 days of being out on disability, my husband is returning to work. It actually went by fast. When the doctors said he would have to be home for 6 to 8 weeks, it seemed like an eternity. The first two weeks were hard as he was not very mobile. Things had to be adapted to help him. Then he seemed to enjoy the time off. He did home improvements and built a train village. He said it was for his grandchildren, but I knew it was for him. While he is happy to be able to work again, he is not happy that he has to go back to work. He was getting too comfortable.

Speno Day

Today is Speno Day. It is my town's celebration. Last year it was cancelled due to rain and never rescheduled. The tents sat there, empty and soaked. This year it is a beautiful day so I am sure that the townspeople will all show up. There will be food and souvenirs and businesses that are seeking new customers. The celebration has downsized as the years have gone by, but the town spirit is still there.

Time Warp

Whenever I sit down at the computer, time flies. It is as if there is a time warp. I think that I have plenty of time to do what was needed but then I look at the clock and time has flown by. Hours seem like minutes. I think I set aside time but then have to rush to get to where I need to go.

Farewell

Today one of my doctors is leaving. She is relocating down south. After working as a psychologist for 8 years, she realized that she was not happy. Each day she got up and dreaded coming to work. It was not my office that she was dreading, it was the job itself. In school, it sounded like a career she would love. In reality, listening to people's problems was too stressful for her. She is a free spirit and would be better suited running a bed and breakfast or making macrame plant hangings. She is making the right choice. I wish her well.

All's Well

After a week of ignoring each other, the two women that were fighting made up. They hugged and kissed and cried. Then one of them decided to "review" what caused the fight. I stepped in and literally put my hand over her mouth. If she reviewed the reason, the fight would erupt again. I told them that from now on, what happened the prior week was an off limits conversation. They both agreed.

Kick Start

We have internet in my office, but when my boss moved to another office in the back of the suite there was no cable there. I called the computer tech and he said to buy a usb wifi system. I bought one at Staples and tried to install it. The computer had been shifted around so much when we redecorated, that it was not working well. The cd port never opened so I could not place the cd in to start the installation. I decided to use the old fashioned method of fixing things. I kicked it viciously, over and over again. Voila. It opened up and the wifi is now installed.

Mix and Match

I was at the supermarket over the weekend and wanted to buy a chicken to barbeque for tonight's dinner. I wanted a whole chicken, cut up. I looked in the meat showcase and each chicken was over $11. I am not talking about oven stuffers. I am talking about the regular size ones. There was no way I was buying that. I looked further and decided to "build a chicken". I bought 2 breasts for $1.85. I bought 3 thighs for $1.63. I bought 4 huge wings for 1.73. I skipped the drumsticks as they were over $3.00 for 4 scrawny ones. The total was $5.21 for 9 pieces. One more than the usual 8 pieces. I think I did well.

Bones

I woke up this morning with every bone aching. Bones I did not even know I had. We had our garage sale yesterday and it went well until 2pm when the rain shut it down. It was enough though, as I had to babysit at 3pm. We did well but today, I am sore. I guess I am getting old.