Visiting Nurse

Today is Passover. I am on my way to Brooklyn. My parents cannot come to the sedar that will be held at my sister-in-law's house this evening. It is just too much for them to travel there. Yesterday I spent the day cooking so I could bring a Passover meal to them. I made matzo ball soup, roasted potatoes and chicken. The food basket also has gefilte fish, horseradish, matzo, string beans and cake. For lunch I made tuna fish. They certainly have enough food for dinner without me bringing it, but the thought of them not eating a traditional Passover dinner bothered me.

Levels of Esteem

The words we use conjure up a level of importance in our minds. You can take four equal things and call them by different names and they will send out a different vibe. For example the places we dine at. If there were four establishments that served Italian Seafood. They were owned by a person named Tom. All have the same menu but the prices vary. One was named Tom's Seafood Shack. One was named Tom's Cafe. The third was named Tom's Restaurant and the last was named Ristorante Thomas. Which one could command a higher menu price? Which one would you think is near the shore. Which one would have small tables with iron back chairs? Which one is generic? Branding and marketing are instilled in our brains without us even realizing it.

The Unwritten Book

There is an unwritten book of life's rules. As much as we all feel that we are independent thinkers, we all know that there are certain rules in life that need to be adhered to. They do not need to be put on paper. They are ingrained in our minds from early childhood. One chapter is "Right or Wrong". Even the most horrible people know when they are doing something wrong. A thief knows that he is stealing and a liar knows he has lied. They do it anyway but they are well aware that they are breaking the rules as they do it. Just being human means that we have a manual inside our brain. Some people read it before they act. Other people gloss over it. Then there are the people that feel that reading it is only a waste of time. Those are the people that I try to avoid.

Calendar

I no longer count time by the date. I count time by the appointments that I need to be at. The days of the week no longer have names. They have responsibilities. This week it will be "doctor, nurse, half day, eye appointment, Passover". Last week it was "doctor, tree removal, snow day". I no longer know the date. I only know the sequence of where I need to be.

Another Shrimp

Sometimes life just places another shrimp on your Bar-B. Just when you have enough to do, along comes another issue. I have been progressively losing eyesight in one eye. It is the reading eye. Since I have monovision sight, one eye reads and the other sees distance. The reading eye is on 5% power and the vision eye is on 85%. I am glad it was not the other way around. When I finally realized how bad things were, I went to the eye doctor. I am writing this blog but cannot see a word of it on the screen. After many tests, the doctor informed me that I will need a procedure done to each eye to clear the vision back to normal. I was so relieved to hear that. Next Wednesday and the Wednesday after that, I will go to the surgical center and have my eyes lasered. I wish it was tomorrow.

Trial Run

I always believed in trial runs. I never leave anything to chance. If something is important and has to be done on a deadline, it needs to be tested prior to the actual date. I did this yesterday. We had a stairlift installed on the outside of my parent's house to make it easier for my mother to get down the steps. She has a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I wanted to do a trial run since the chair has never been used before. At first no one knew how to operate the chair. My husband and dad were fidgeting around with it to no avail. I got the instruction book and figured out that there was a ten second delay. Once we knew that, the chair worked well. I did not want to leave it at that. I got my mother's coat on her and walked her to the chair, sat her in it and took her for a ride down the steps. It was easy as pie. Now I know that on Tuesday things will work well.

Forty Years

In a blink of an eye forty years has past. Today is my sister's 40th wedding anniversary. I remember the day as if it was yesterday.I can vividly recall the smell of the flowers and the variety of the foods that were served. If I close my eyes, I can see the guests milling around in the entrance hallway before the cocktail hour. In those days the cocktail hour was first, then the ceremony, then the dinner. It made sense to eat, rest eat. Nowadays the ceremony comes first then the cocktail hour and then a big meal. I never understood why the sequence was changed. I cannot believe that time has flown so quickly.

Original Hoodie

Hoodies have now become a part of our youth's fashion statement. Since we have had a cold winter, even I have resorted to wearing a hoodie.There is a safe feeling about having your head enclosed in material. It feels like a cocoon. I was watching a history show last night and saw a reenactment from the 13th century. I realized that the people were wearing hoodies.  They had on a cloak with a hood. Come to think of it, that is also what the Grim Reaper wears. While most fashion trends eventually phase out, the hoodie has become more popular. Maybe it is because it is attached to a feeling.

Copies

I have learned one very important thing at work. Always make a copy of what you do. The copy is not for my sake but for the sake of the doctors that misplace theirs. If I am asked to give someone information and I do so, how hard is it for them to keep the information in a safe place? If I did not have my own copy, I would need to do the research again and waste my time. This same scenario has played out throughout the many years that I have been working. Just yesterday, it happened again. My boss is traveling to Israel in a few weeks and asked me to file a global entry border patrol application for her. This would allow her to bypass US customs. It was a ten page questionnaire that she really should have filled out by herself because I did not have all of the information. How am I supposed to know the month and year she bought her house? I filled out the form and submitted it online. I made a copy for myself and made one for her. It was her responsibility to open the email to get an interview date once the background check was completed. Last night I got a frantic text. She never got an email with a date and lost her copy of the application. I called my office and had them get my copy out of my files. Today since I am off,  I will have someone call and figure it out. At what point do people take responsibility for their own lives?

Where is Spring?

I got up this morning to a winter wonderland. The only problem is that it is spring. Who changed the seasons? This is no longer funny. Spring means Spring. That means no snow.

Amazon Problem

My sister and I are like Amazon. We think of problems from A to Z. I figure out the worst case scenario  and make my decision from there. Today is another storm. My sister is off because schools are closed. I am calling in sick because I will not jeopardize my safety driving. The only loose end was that my father has dialysis. He takes a taxi back and forth and even if he got there, I was afraid that no taxi would come to pick him up after the treatment. Since his health would not be compromised if he missed one day, I told him to stay home. The thought of him being stranded in a storm was worse than the thought of him missing a day of dialysis. Now I can relax knowing that everyone is safe. Problem sollved.

In My Seat

Yesterday one of the administrators came in on her day off. She wanted to catch up on paperwork and had a meeting at night. She sat in the front office all day. I was glad she did that. She saw first hand what goes on while she is in session. She saw that insurances phone calls take hours. She saw that a missing chart took a long time to find. She heard irate patients carry on about nonsense. She saw the reality of how things are and how nasty people can be. It was like Undercover Boss, but everyone knew she was there. She now has a new perspective on the company.

The Piano

Yesterday my sister and I spent the day at our parent's house. My niece and nephew were also there and so were her young children. This was the first time they had been to my parent's house. At first they were a bit shy as they were in a new environment. Once they warmed up, they began to play and then noticed the piano.There is something universal about children and a piano. They both sat down on the piano bench as children throughout the ages have done and began to hit the keys. My young nephew who is two started to say "music, music" as he went from key to key. There was noise filling the room. The wonderful sound of mixed up notes resonated through the house. Their hands ran up and down the keyboard as they created the best type of music. The sounds they created were music to our ears.

Too Cold

This morning I got up and when I went outside, I froze. I cannot believe that it is March. It feels like winter is just hanging on too long. Supposedly there will be another Nor'Easter this week. That would be just cruel.

Still Like A Lion

March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. When am I going to see the lamb? The entire month has been one continuous wind. It is constantly whistling in my ear. There is supposed to be one last storm this coming week and then spring will march on in. We are all ready and waiting for it.

Off My Routine

This morning my normal routine was broken. I usually get up, dressed and write my blog. While I am writing it my sister calls to say hello. Then I go about my day. Today, I slept a bit later and my sister called me as I just got up. I got dressed and ate breakfast. Then I went food shopping. When I got home, I could not remember if I wrote the blog. I actually had no idea. Maybe I have so much going on in my head that one extra thought would literally blow my mind. I went to the computer to check and saw that there was no entry. Now there is.

Finding A Way

There is the old expression, "Where there is a will, there is a way". Part of that statement has to do with logistics and the other has to do with mindset. As I enter the new phase of my parent's life, I see how true that statement is. A new way is not a bad way, it is just a different way.

Work vs Work

Today I will go back to work after taking off for the storm. Even though I was at home yesterday, I still did work. The work I did was more fulfilling than the work I will resume today. Yesterday, I did work to help my parents have an easier life. I made phone calls, I researched online, I negotiated problems and when all was said and done, everything was accomplished. I went to sleep knowing that I did a wonderful job for wonderful people. The job did not pay me in money, but paid me in a higher currency. It paid me in love and gratitude. Today I will go back to my regular job and just go through the motions of being there. I will do everything I am supposed to do, but I will do it as an emotionless robot.

Loyalty

As I get older, I realize that the only people I need to be loyal to are the people that are loyal to me. Today is another No'r Easter and I have chosen to remain home. My office staff can do whatever they please but I am going to remain safe in my home. Years ago I would venture out in all weather to go to work. I see that my boss never takes her workers into consideration when they have problems, so I have detached my heart from her business. My new attitude is me first, her never.

Oz

One of the famous scenes from "The Wizard Of Oz" is when Dorothy clicks her heels and says, "There's no place like home". Yesterday we brought my mother home from the hospital.She was so happy to be back in her own surroundings. Sitting in her living room, eating at her dining room table and sleeping in her own bed were things she missed. Today is her 94th birthday and we made her a small celebration. We ate her favorite Chinese dish and had a delicious cake. As usual, my sister took pictures and a video. We had hoped that she would be home for her birthday and she was. We realized that small things in life count. Waking up this morning on her 94th birthday in her own home is the best gift she could ever get.

Coming Home

This morning we are up early and getting ready to leave for the hospital. My mother is coming home this morning. It has been almost a month since she was hospitalized and the staff there has gotten her almost back to normal. The rest of the rehab will be done as outpatient. We cannot wait to get her back in her own environment and watch her get even stronger.

Transformation

The other day in work, I saw a child transform from a defiant uncontrollable child into a sweet little boy. A mother and her eight year old son walked into my office asking for information. I told the mother I could speak to her in my office. She asked the son to stay in the waiting room. He began to scream uncontrollably and bump himself off of the walls. As we walked down the hallway he followed us, still screaming like a wounded animal and was flinging himself into the hallway walls. The mother said that this is his normal behavior. We sat in my office and she told me that he was on school suspension for running out of the school two times last week. She had him tested and he is in special ed and on medication but his behavior is uncontrollable. I did not think that he was appropriate for my office but that he would be a fit for the new doctor since she sees children with ADHD. Her assistant was not in yet, so I called her cell phone and she said that she was in the parking lot and would be right in. She came into my office to speak with the child and his mother. From the moment she walked in, she assessed the situation and took over. She looked directly into the child's eyes, right up to his face and told him that he was a good boy and she was there to help him. She then began to question him, not his mother. She seemed to know how he was feeling inside and asked questions that I would never have thought of. The child's demeanor changed because he finally had someone that knew what it felt like to feel the way he does. He began to open up to her, first whispering things into her ear, then saying them out loud in front of his mother and me. The mother began to cry as this was the first time someone finally understood the problem. The assistant said that he was misdiagnosed, as doctors seem to want to quickly label a child and not delve into the root of the problem. He was not oppositional, just a child with ADHD that becomes irritable when he gets frustrated. She reviewed his medications and said that they were the wrong dosages and wrong type of release. She told them how his behavior would be as the medications wore off and the mother said she was exactly correct. She wrote a note to the school saying that the boy needed a new assessment with the new doctor. The mother was going directly to the school after the meeting. As they left the boy gave the assistant and me a big hug and a kiss and said that he really like it here. Within 45 minutes a "wild animal" was transformed into a sweet child. It was amazing.

Too Orderly

Is there such a thing as too orderly? I am finding out this week that there is. Two things that I need are missing. I know they are in my house but I have no idea where. That is because everything is packed away so neatly that it is not visible to the eye. Last night we took apart the storage area and found one of the items. I just realized that I needed another and do not know where it is neatly packed away. The room will have to be emptied out for the second time and hopefully the item will appear.

Being Sure

Yesterday when I woke up, even though the streets were clear, I decided to stay home from work. Today the streets are snowy and icy but I am ready to go to work. I realized that I do not have a gambler personality. I like a sure thing. Yesterday I did not know what the rest of the day would be like, so I did not want to gamble with my safety. Today I see what the worst of the weather will be, so I know where I stand. That is the way I feel most comfortable. As long as I have concrete evidence about the outcome of a situation, I feel at ease. Yesterday morning I was not at ease. This morning I am.

Storm

All last night, the weather forecasters had been warning us about a Nor'Easter. The town supervisor sent a recorded message. I got up in the morning and saw a bit of snow on the lawn. All of the schools were closed. The weather channel said that the storm will be bad in the early afternoon. I called in sick as I did not want to get stuck driving in a storm later on. As I sit here looking out of the window, the weather is fine. I have lost a sick day for nothing, so far. If I had not tuned into the weather report, I would be in work. Who knows, maybe there was a reason that I needed to stay safe in my house.

Folders

I was looking at my computer screen this morning and seeing how neat it looks. Many people have desktops with icons all over the place. It looks like a jungle of pictures. Mine has only eight icons. That is because I love to put them into folders. Computer folders are technology's closets. If you do not want clutter, hide it away. I have one folder labeled "stuff". It is the equivalent of a junk drawer. Anything that is extra or one of a kind hides in there. I do not even know what is in it as it has been there for a long time and I obviously have no use for it. My folders keep things neat and orderly on the outside and I love them. 

64

Last night as I was driving home from visiting my mother, I tuned into the Beatles channel on my car radio. The song, "When I'm 64" was playing. All of a sudden I had a flash back to when I heard that song for the first time. I was probably about ten years old. I remember thinking that 64 was so old and pictured a gray haired man that looked frail. Back then, 64 seemed like a ripe old age. When I heard the song last night, 64 seemed like a young vital age. That is because I an 62 and mostly everyone I associate with is older than 64. Many of my friends still have their parents who are well into their 90's. I guess what I am saying is that your perspective on life comes from where you are at that point.

Cutting Board

Yesterday after the tree fell, the town came out to clean up the part that was their responsibility. My yard backs up onto a dead end street so  part of the tree was on town property. The excavator trucks came and tried to pull the tree out of my yard but it was too heavy, so they just concentrated on the part that they needed to cut in order to clear the roadway.The remainder of the tree will be taken away by my neighbor's tree service. As they town workers were slicing the tree, a woman from down the block of the dead end street came up to them. I did not hear what she was saying but it looked like a friendly conversations. They got back to work and I saw them slicing thinner pieces of the tree trunk. Then I saw them put them in front of her house. It seems that since the tree was going to be cut up anyway, she asked them to slice her a few cutting boards. Tree cutting boards are expensive and she took the opportunity to take advantage of a bad situation and come out of it with a few gifts

Sounds of Nature

Last night as I was sleeping I was awoken by an eerie sound. It was the terrifying sound of a large tree splintering and breaking just before it falls. Within seconds I heard a loud crash. It sounded like it was nearby. I looked out the window and saw that a 30 foot tree from my neighbor's backyard had fallen. About ten feet of it was in my yard and my side fence was crushed. Since there was nothing I could do about it at 1am, I went back to sleep. This morning I saw the mess. The tree had broken from the stump and jumped into my yard. If I had to calculate where the fall would have been, I never would have figured there. Thankfully it is in the back of the yard and not in the way. Mother nature is still a force to be reckoned with.

Rain And Sunshine

It is another rainy day. I woke up to wind and rain and gloom. Thankfully my grandson will be my ray of sunshine. Today I will pick him up from school and take him to lunch. Then we will head to the dollar store where he can choose a few things that catch his eye. I realized that he is equally happy picking out dollar toys as he is picking out expensive ones. For a few dollars he can get whatever his heart desires and I do not have to limit him. It is a win win situation.

The Cake

Sometimes a cake is not just a cake. Yesterday was my parent's 65th anniversary and we decided to celebrate at the hospital. We bought a sheet cake and had it decorated with purple lettering and flowers. The reason for the color purple was that my parent's wedding song was "Deep Purple". As soon as my mother saw the cake, she knew why we chose that color. We gathered all of the staff and my mother's roommate and set up in the lunchroom. One nurse put out a white table cloth. Another got the vase of flowers from my mother's room and used it as a centerpiece. My sister had brought along my parent's wedding photo and a recording of their wedding song. We took many photos. My mother looked beautiful. Her hair was styled and she had makeup on. Everyone sang "Happy Anniversary" and the song echoed down the hallway. My parents cut the cake and we served it to everyone. My mother was the queen of the day. We all ate the cake and reminisced about good things. People that were passing the room stopped in for a piece of cake. After about one hour, my mother was off to physical therapy and we cleaned up and went home. When we called her later in the evening, she said that it was such a beautiful day and she was so happy. One cake make the day.