Fresh Slate

Twenty nineteen is an important year for me. It is a year of reinvention. It is a year that will have many "first times", since my mother has died. February 15 marks the day things began to change and we rode the roller coaster for many months. We are still riding it, but at a better pace with my father on a flat course rather than the gut wrenching free falls we had with my mother. I am not the same person I was and will never be, so I need to purge some things and start with a clean slate. I have taken "things" that I have and either packed them away or given them away. Each item held a memory and a history. Our lives are filled with material things that have their own story. You remember where you got them, with whom, and how it felt. Sometimes not having them, and erasing their history is what is needed to move on. It makes life less cumbersome. I used to have an "egg roll" story. People that are not sentimental see the act of getting an egg roll as just that, plain and simple. Other people see the time it took to drive to the store, order it, wait for it, pay for it and enjoy it. The egg roll experience is different to those people. I always placed importance of the thought of the gift more than the actual gift itself. To obtain my clean state I have to detach myself from the history, let go of the physical item and leave room for the wonderful things that lie ahead.