Adjusting

At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening. It is not an easy concept to wrap your head around. We all have thoughts and dreams of what our ideal life should be. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not. The hardest thing to adjust to is when it worked out for a while and then was taken away. That is because you then know the difference. When someone loses a loved one, "should" is changed to "is". Some people work through it easier and others never do. I see this in my father. Even after a year, he is not accepting the "is". He still looks back to happy times with my mother and says that she "should" have lived longer. I have tried to stop giving him words of encouragement because I agree with him. In his circumstance, at 95 years old, he has earned the right to feel sorry for himself.