Last Minute

I hate last minute people. I am a do it on time person. Last minute people turn every chore into a frenzy. Do it on time people do things in a relaxed way. When a  last minute person has to team up with a do it on time person, things turn ugly. That is what happened to me yesterday. I am in work each day for seven hours. I accomplish everything that needs to be done within those seven hours. If you run in, one minute before it is time for me to go home and throw a project at me, I will not stay late and help you. If you get annoyed, I will ignore you. If you give in once to a last minute person, you will be giving in forever. I like to nip things in the bud. Do it on time or do it alone.

Out Of My Way

I have learned never to go out of my way for someon at work. I am not talking about my coworkers. I am talking about the patients. When I first started working at my office and I received  frantic calls from patients demanding an immediate appointment, I would rearrange schedules and sometimes call the doctors to see if they would come in early or stay late. After everything was set, the patient would either cancel at the last minute or not even show up. Yesterday, I had a call from a potential new patient. She was crying and screaming that she needed to come here today. I explained all of the fees and told her that the best I could do was have her seen the next day. She carried on a bit more and I checked 10 doctors schedules and decided to put her in for the last appointment of the day. I never asked the doctor because I had a feeling the woman would not show up. She thanked me for making the appointment for her and said she would see me later. Just as I thought, one hour later she called to cancel.

One Year

It has been one year since Superstorm Sandy. Everyone on the east coast can tell you where they were when their lights went out. We counted our lives by the days we had no electricity. Seven, ten, fourteen. Some of us were inconvenienced and some of us were devastated. I know of people that are still not back in their homes. Sandy taught us all a few lessons. First, when we are warned of danger, we must take it seriously. Second, that things are not as important as family. Third, that we are resilient and can rebound from almost anything. These were not easy lessons to learn and we will never feel the same security we had once felt when we hear the word "hurricane".

Eat, Eat, Eat

Eat, eat, eat. That is all I did all weekend long. I got up this morning and feel like a lump of clay. The thought of breakfast is not a good one, so I will not eat anything until my stomach growls. As if I did not eat enough Saturday night at a Sweet Sixteen, I went to a Mediterranean buffet on Sunday. What was I thinking? Am I Wonder Woman? I am over 55 and my intestines are not as supple as they were when I was 20. As I was pushing in the last bite of my fourth baklava at the buffet, I realized that food can be pleasurable or painful. Saturday it was pleasurable. Sunday afternoon it became painful. This morning it is just sad.

Through It All

Last night I went to my third cousin's Sweet Sixteen. It was at a beautiful catering hall overlooking the water in Howard Beach. The guests were dressed in party attire and the girls wore shoes so high, that they were wobbling. When the party began they introduced the "Dias". There were 6 bridesmaids type looking girls all wearing white. They were the six best friends out of a group of 100. The music was great and the dance floor was packed. The food choices were very tasty and the Viennese table was the best. Any place that serves cotton candy wins me over. When it came time for the candle lighting ceremony, the birthday girl said a bit about each person. For each "best" friend, she listed a ton of memories that they had shared. She ended each mini speech with the line, "We have been through it all together". All? How much could there have been to go through by 16? You haven't graduated high school or worried about getting ino college. You haven't graduated college and had to worry about finding a job. You haven't dated or married. You haven't had the pleasure of raising children and being called the bad parent if you have to say "no" to anything. You haven't paid bills or a mortgage. I guess her "all" is a sixteen year "all". I wish I could remember back to when I was 16, and thought I went through it all.

Smooth Sale-ing

I am up, dressed and ready to go. We displayed all of our tag sale items last night and even had two early birds fly by. We are not selling your typical garage sale items. There will be no soccer shoes or old clothes. We are selling memories in the form of old tools and vintage memorabilia. There is a certain type of person that buys these items. They are buying more as a collectable than as a useful item. They buy more with their hearts than their heads. Sometimes I feel that it is just an equilateral transfer of junk. So, I hope it goes well and I bring less back into my house than I brought out.

Set Up

Today I will be setting up for tomorrow's antique sale. Everything that went down to the basement will come back up again. The items will be cleaned and grouped into categories and displayed in the best possible way. There is so much to display. We placed an ad in the local paper and hope buyers come. It is not a garage sale in the typical sense of the word because we are selling antique and vintage items. It is a big preparation and I hope we do well. If not, I will have to bring everything back into my house and call dealers.

Seasons Changed

Even though the official start of Autumn was a month ago, this morning it feels official to me. I got up to the faint smell of heat. The first time my heating system goes on, after a long summer's rest, there is a familiar smell of pipes heating up again. Too bad along with that smell comes the reality that an oil delivery cannot be far behind. I walked Shelby in total darkness and when I looked up, the sky was filled with stars surrounding the moon. If I did not know better I would have said it was nighttime. Until the clocks change I will leave for work a few minutes later, as I hate to drive in the dark. Winter has not even begun and I am waiting for Spring. 

Two Worlds

Today my two worlds will meet. After being asked for a year, I have decided to do a workshop at my office. The topic of the workshop will be "Communication". I have done this lecture at various libraries and schools and it is a fun one, but I had some reservations about doing it where I work. I have no idea how many people will show up, as it was advertised online and with flyers. The room has a limited space and if more than 10 people attend, it will be crowded. I like to separate my worlds, kind of like the separation of church and state. It will be a long day, as the workshop is at 7pm. I will go to work now, come home and return this evening. I hope it will be an enjoyable evening for everyone.

Commercial Breaks

Some days, there is nothing to watch on television. Years ago, we had 7 channels and if we were on the cutting edge of technology, we had a circular wire that we attached on the back of the television set to get channel 21. Now I have 700 channels and have nothing to watch. Every few days I record a few shows to watch when I can find nothing better. Last night I was watching a recorded show. I had the capability to advance through the commercials, but I kept forgetting that I was watching a recording. Each time I realized that I could fast forward, I did and I was surprised to count how many consecutive commercials I was passing. The highest amount at one time was 11. Then, the show would come back on for three minutes, followed by another 6 commercials. When we watch live, we have become so used to the commercial breaks that we do not realize that there is more commercial content than show. Each one hour show has about 20 minutes of content, sandwiched between 40 minutes of advertising. The television shows are not the ones being programmed. The people are.

Love Thy Neighbor

I spent another weekend cleaning out my parent's house and we are just about done. They live in the same home that I grew up in. For the first 40 or so years they had wonderful next door neighbors. When those neighbors sold their home, my parents were blessed to get new neighbors that are indescribable. They are from Russia and barely speak English, but the love they have for my parents is overwhelming. They watch over them like they are their own parents. They will climb over the back fence and clean my parents yard. They will sweep in front of my parents house every morning to make sure that it looks immaculate. If there are garbage bags that need to be pulled to the curb, they will do it before my parents have a chance. When we visit my parents, we always go next door to say hello. We hug and kiss and smile. We try to communicate in broken English. We don't really need words to say how we feel. As we left my parent's house yesterday, the neighbors rushed out to see us. They looked at my parents and kept repeating, "Family, family". They did not need to say another word.

Then

I love the word "then". It is a word of anticipation. You never know what will come after the word "then". It could be wonderful, horrible or boring. Have you ever spoken to someone and think the outcome of the conversation will be good, until they say the word "then". Have you ever disappointed someone because you had to use the word "then". I woke up this morning with a cough and had no ideas for this blog. I thought to myself, if I skip a day, "then" I would have broken my streak of consistently writing this blog. If I did not write an entry, "then" people would wonder if I was ok. So, I sat down at the computer and thought and thought, "then" I decided to write about the word "then".

0%

I love when I receive a 0% credit card promotion in the mail. Somehow it feels like I am being offered money. Each one I receive I save, until another one arrives. I keep waiting for the best possible offer so I can sign up and continue using cards with 0% interest. The funny thing is that I always pay my cards off every month in full, but I love to have the option to partial pay with no penalty. The last card I had was 0% for 15 months, which will end in January 2014. I have been searching for the next offer and yesterday it finally arrived in the mail. It was for 0% for 21 months! I called the application number to open my new Citi Card. The card I have now is also a Citi Card. When I opened that one, they gave me an unusually high credit limit. When I applied for the new card they said the new limit would be lower since I had a high one on the other. Since I plan on canceling the old one when when I get the new one, I asked if they could transfer the credit limit from one to another. They said they could. So now I am locked in to 0% until July 2015. For some reason that make me feel wonderful.

Climate Control

They say if you have more than two women in the same room, the temperature will never be right. Not only do I agree with that, but I am now finding that if I am alone in the room the temperature is not right. I have become a "layer wearer". When I plan my outfit each day, I allow for a hot flash and a cold spell. The women coworkers in my office do the same. The daily catch phrase, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" has become our mantra. The sweaters go on and off so much, it is a wonder that we don't get flesh burns. So, as usual, today I have put on my short sleeve top and layered it with a fleece jacket. Who needs to exercise my arms at the gym, when I get a full workout all day from pulling my sweater off and on?

Forget Me Night

In my sleep last night, I thought of a great story for a blog. I wrote it in my head, literally word for word. I told myself not to forget it when I woke up. Well, you guessed it. I have totally forgotten what it was. I am sure it will eventually come back to me, but it will not be in time to write today's entry. During the day, when I have a thought, I have learned to write it down in a pad, just to make sure it does not disappear. At nighttime I do not do that because if I get up and write, I will never fall back to sleep. So, now I will be wracking my brain all day trying to remember what was so vivid last night.

Rock The Boat

Most of us like to navigate through still waters. As we get older, if we are lucky enough to have our parents, sometimes those waters get a bit rocky, but in a good way. Over the past few weeks my parents are going through changes in their lives regarding healthcare, money and real estate. My sister and I have done enough research to guarantee that any decision that was made, was the correct one. Even though my parents know that we have made correct decisions, they are still questioning those decisions. They ask the same questions and we repeat the same answers. Then we all agree things are on the right track. Two days later, they ask the same questions and again the correct answers are given. Occasionally, one of their friends gives them a story about what "Annie" did, which differs from what they did, and their boat gets rocked, until we explain again that what "Annie" did would not be good for them. It is a back and forth, ebb and flow. Sometimes the rocking of the boat gets me nauseated, but I am always happy that at least I have a boat to rock.

Hair Curling

I went for a haircut yesterday. I have been going to the same salon for about 25 years. It doesn't really matter who cuts my hair. It is so curly that it curls the same way since I was a child. If I let it grow, it will grow horizontally and I will look like a cotton ball. The best I can hope for is a good shaping. After my hair was finished, the stylist asked if I wanted to try a new product made especially for curly hair. It is supposed to take the curls and make them sleeker and more manageable. She put a bit of the creme onto my hair and rubbed it in. She asked if I would like to purchase a bottle of it. I asked how mush it cost and she said $18. I responded, "Not a bad price" but in my head I was thinking, "Are you nuts?" It was an 8 ounce bottle. If I spent $18 on a hair product, I would expect it to be at least 64 ounces. I said I would see how it worked and let her know. I woke up this morning to the same curls I have had for 50 years. The only difference was that I still had the $18 in my wallet.

Happy Columbus Day

Even though it is Columbus Day, I am still getting ready to go to work. Five hundred twenty one years ago, Columbus discovered America and we still have no idea who we are. As of today, we are into the second week of a government shut down.Our representatives do not agree with a president who has lost control of the country. What a shame, that in this day and age, what used to be the most powerful country in the world is disgracing our good name. The two main issues of the disagreement are Obamacare and the debt ceiling. If I discussed how I feel about Obamacare I would be late to work, so I will make it short. No one really knows what the bill has in it, because it is 20,000 pages long and no one thoroughly read it. Within the bill we have voted to subsidize many non healthcare issues and the stipulations are so convoluted that employers would rather fire their employees than be forced to pay for benefits that might bankrupt them. Now let me get to the debt ceiling. First of all, why are we in debt? If it isn't bad enough that we owe our souls to other countries, our president wants to put us further in hock. That is why our representatives shut us down. Too bad it affected people that deserved better. We now have thousands of unemployed government workers that are struggling to make ends meet. We have soldiers that have died overseas, whose families are not receiving burial benefits. We have public memorials that are shut down. What a sad commentary. If Christopher Columbus knew what would have happened to us, would he have adjusted his sails and gone directly to Canada?

More Pumpkins

Last Sunday, I went pumpkin picking with my grandson. Today, I am going with my sister's granddaughter. My great niece. I love that title because she really is great. I do not know who is more excited for the day. The weather is perfect and we are going to a different patch with different events. I love reliving all of the activities I did with my own children. With grandchildren, you look at life through different eyes that are filled with only enjoyment. We spend quality time with the kids and let the parents spend their time bringing them up. The best pumpkin at the patch will be my niece!

More To Do

This morning I am heading back to my parent's house for more cleaning. We knew the job would be daunting and we are moving along at a good pace. Over the week they have sifted through more of their belongings and have separated the items that they are keeping from ones they will discard. Cleaning out a home is like ripping off a bandaid. You slowly lift up a corner to test the feeling and then you grit your teeth and expose the rest. After the initial discomfort ends, you realize that it was not that painful after all.

Yes or No

The other day I had to call a lawyer's office for some information for my office. The question was a basic one that the lawyer's office must answer every day. I spoke to a secretary who then transferred me to a paralegal. I asked my question and she responded by saying, "Come in for an appointment and we can talk". I said that it was a simple question that has a straightforward answer so an appointment was not necessary. She said, "Let's have a conference call with the lawyer tomorrow" and I said, once again, that it was a simple question. She responded by saying, "Come in and we will run the numbers". I said, with a very firm tone, "I am asking a simple question. If you cannot give me the answer, transfer me to a lawyer who can. I have no time for a run around". She put me on hold and transferred me to a lawyer. I asked my question, in a simple but detailed manner, and he gave me a one word answer of "No". That was all I needed. A yes or no answer. Why do people complicate matters?

Living The Dream

Every morning I have the same conversation with one of my doctors. When he arrives for the day, I ask how he is. He responds by saying, "Living the dream". Then we both say in unison, "Too bad it's not MY dream" and then we laugh. We mean it as a joke, because he has a great wife and three wonderful sons. When you really think about it, who of us is really living our dream? If you have a family, part of your life is devoted to them. Since most of us need to work for a living, part of our life is devoted to work. Daily existence means that part of our life is devoted to routine chores. Where do our dreams fit in to our schedules? Most times they do not, until we are too old to live our dreams to the fullest. Maybe that is what dreaming is all about. Maybe the thought of what we really want out of life sustains us enough to live the life we have.

Verizon-care

I received my Verizon bill today and it was much higher than usual. I called them and asked why the bill was so high. The first representative said that he was a bit confused by the bill and reading it was hard. If it was hard for him, what should I say. He is a trained Verizon employee. On page 3 of 12, I found an error. I had a new box delivered to me and they charged $19.99. They never said there was going to be a charge, so the representative removed it. By that time, I had spent 45 minutes on the phone and needed to take a mental health break. I thanked him for his time and said I would call back later to continue "the hunt". Two hours later I resumed the call with a more mature representative. She scrolled through the 12 pages and found out what was incorrect. It seems that there used to be quad play and I was downgraded to double play and charged separately for the other two services. We compromised on triple play with one add on and the bill is now $4 less than previously. At the end of the call, I told her that I now understood the Senate and why they are disgusted with the Obamacare bill. This was another example of moronic rhetoric that no one can understand or read. It is just a bunch of senseless words in page order.

Clean Up

When I returned to work this morning I saw the aftermath of a flood. The office smelled damp and musty and the computers and furniture were in disarray. The office above us had a flood from their bathroom and it leaked down into our secretary's office. The computer monitor was soaked, as was the keyboard. The wooden desk was bubbled and the chair was saturated. The water that overflowed was from the toilet, so you can imagine the stench. I had repairmen in throughout the day and still need to speak to the insurance adjusters. I want the carpet replaced since I do not know what type of bacteria will grow. Hopefully this morning the smell will have dissipated.

Pumpkin Patch

I spent 6 hours in the mist with pumpkins. Yesterday, despite the foggy weather, I went to White Post Farms with my son and his family and my daughter in law's family. There were 10 of us in the group. The farm said it was having a festival, but I had no idea how much there would be to do. This place was not around when my kids were little. We played in the hay, saw a dog show, a pig show, a magic show and a musical show. We went on a hayride and in and out of miniature houses. The kids were too small for the pony rides, but we went to the petting zoo. It should have been called a mini zoo as there were so many animals there. We ate a lot of fried, heavy foods and washed them down with more heavy, fried desserts. The kids then picked pumpkins. Even though the weather was not the best, the place was mobbed.  It was a bit expensive for admission and they charged full price for children over 18 months, but all in all it was worth it for a once a year activity.

Welcome Home

This morning I am tired. I spent the day helping my parents clean out their house. Decades of memories. Decades of "stuff". Everything has a memory. Everything has a story. It is a gift to clean out a house with your elderly parents. We did it with a smile on our face and not a tear in our eyes. It was a true blessing. We sorted through many items, some so old that they are now classified as antiques. We moved furniture from floor to floor and my back is stiff and sore. Of all of the items we took home to sort for sale, there was one that was priceless. It is a poster sized picture of my grandfather on his wedding day all dressed in a tuxedo and top hat. He must have been about 22 years old. He was so handsome. I had no idea that pictures were made this size, in 1918, on a thick poster type of paper. I stared into his eyes and scrutinized every line of his face to see a resemblance to me or my children. He has our light blue eyes and there is a familiarity in his face that just feels right. When I took the picture out of my parents house I said, "Grandpa, we're going home". When he arrived in my house, I covered him with Lucite so the picture would not chip or disintegrate. I slipped it under my bed for safe keeping as there is nowhere to hang it. I am happy that Grandpa is now living with me.

Keep, Toss, Donate

Keep, toss, donate are the three principles of cleaning out a house. I learned them at my job when dealing with hoarders. I will begin to implement them today when I help my parents clean their house out. It is a practical practice. Keep what you can use or what holds special meaning. Toss what is old and not useable. Donate what no longer has meaning to you, but can be used by someone else. There can be no "what if's" or "maybe one day's". These decisions need to be made with our brains and not our hearts. Emotional attachments cannot be made to a special paper clip or a threadbare washcloth. When all is said and done, and as cold as it may sound, cemetery plots do not include storage sheds.

Because I Want To

I was listening to a conversation the other day between my receptionist and one of my doctors. They were discussing the purchase of a bridesmaid dress. My doctor, who is the bride, was saying that she was going to pay for her sister in law's dress because she was short on money. My receptionist kept asking her why she needed to do that. The conversation went like this:

• D: I am buying her the dress.
• R: Why do you have to buy it?
• D: She has no money.
• R: You don't have much money either.
• D: She is unemployed.
• R: Then tell her not to be in the bridal party.
• D: But I want her there.
• R: Then tell her to start saving.
• D: She really has no money.
• R: That's not your problem.
• D: Yes it is.
• R: It shouldn't be.

At this point I got up from my seat. First of all, it is no one's business what another person does. Second of all I had heard enough.  I walked over to the doctor and said, "Look into the receptionist's eyes and repeat after me". She looked up at me to hear what she should say. "Now say, BECAUSE I WANT TO!". She repeated those words. I looked at the receptionist and said, " Do not say another word". I told the doctor that she did not have to validate any decision she makes and I was surprised that she did. She shook her head and smiled. The conversation ended.

The Table

After three long months of being away from my Mah Jongg game, we finally resumed playing. Well, not really playing, more like bonding. There is something to be said for sitting around a table with good friends and pouring out your heart with both the good and the hard. I purposely did not say bad. Sometimes things are just hard and we need to vent our feelings in order to ease our lives. As we age, our hierarchy changes. Things that used to be important, no longer are. We develop a new sense of what is important. Not everyone understands it. My Mah Jongg friends do. Sitting around a table is different than conversing on the phone or on a couch. There is more of a direct connection. More of a direct face to face commitment. I woke up this morning feeling so much brighter. I hope they did too.

Recognition

Last night my husband was given a plaque for 40 years of service to his employer. It was a nice one, about 5 x 7 inches and encased in lucite. It had his name in small letters and the words "Recognition for 40 years of service to the hospital". There was also a small key chain engraved with the hospital's name. The thought was very nice. Too bad his 40 year anniversary was two years ago. The plaque was dated 2011. When he reached his 40 years, he expected some sort of acknowledgement. Since the hospital has been opened, every five years there was some sort of employee celebration. In the early years, you received a 14k gold pin for every 5 years of service. At 25 years there was a diamond in it. After a few years, the diamond pin was phased out. A few years later, 14k was changed to gold filled. Now plastics are the way to go. I guess the management was so busy pilfering money from the employee benefit fund, that they had no time in 2011, to honor their workers. Now that management is in jail, I guess someone was able to pick up the slack.

Change of Mind

The doctor I work for is world renown. A few times a year she travels internationally to do presentations at mental health conferences. Last week she was in Morocco. She called it an "authentic" country. She meant that it was not a tourist country and was run in a third world way. The last day she was there, the clocks were supposed to be turned back one hour. She adjusted her watch and went to sleep. The next morning she was going to the airport and her ride was late. When he arrived she asked what happened. He told her that overnight the government decided that they did not want to turn back the clocks so he was on the old time. That day, half the country was one hour back until someone notified them. She got to the airport and received her boarding pass. The flight time was 1:00pm, but the boarding time was 1:10pm. It must have been hard to board the plane in mid air.