What We See

What we see in others, we most likely do not see in ourselves. The more workshops I do, the more this becomes apparent. At my "Effective Communication" workshop, I ask the participants what their pet peeve is when they interact with people. Their answers always surprise me. I work with a woman who is abrupt and can have a rough demeanor. When I asked her this question, she answered that she hates nasty people. At my workshop last week, I asked the same question and two women also gave surprising answers. A woman with a very heavy Mediterranean accent said she disliked people with accents, as she could not understand them. The other woman who rambled on and on throughout the workshop, said she disliked people who do not know when to stop talking. I could see the other group member's eyes looking confused as these two women made their statements. If this was a group therapy, I could explain to them that what they disliked about others was what they themselves do, but my workshops are not the venue for that.

Good Book

After years of thinking about it, I decided to read a very popular book. I put off reading it for years because it has thousands of pages that are very thin and the print is small. Many people have begun reading it and  put it down after a few pages because there are a lot of names mentioned and the real story doesn't come into play until the middle of the first chapter. By that time, the book has been closed and put back on the shelf. The book I am speaking about is the Bible. I told myself that no matter how long it takes, I was going to read it from beginning to end. I bought a new copy and also had it installed on my Nook reader. After I got through the names of who was related to who, the real story began. It is such a riveting story that I cannot put it down. Every night I read as many pages as I can and can't wait till the next evening to continue reading again. So much of our daily lives are strongly rooted in the Bible. Our judicial system is clearly laid out in Exodus. Common sayings that we all know are from Genesis. Each new verse opens up an entire new understanding of life. I know why people refer to it as "the good book". It really is a good book. The story is fascinating.

Long Day

I am by no means a party animal. I get up early and go to bed early. My body clock has been set like that for years. When I have to be out late (after 7pm) I get sleepy. Tonight is the first night of my workshop series in a local school. It starts at 7:30pm and ends at 9pm. When I get home from my day job, I will probably sit on my couch and close my eyes, so I will get a second wind. Once body clocks are set, it is hard to change them. I am looking very forward to the workshop so maybe the anticipation will pump some extra adrenaline into my body.

X'd Out

As of April 8, 2014, Windows XP will become outdated. Microsoft has decided that XP will no longer be able to receive updates or virus protection. For the medical field it means that it will no longer be HIPAA compliant. Every medical office that is running on XP will have to buy new computers. The cost to just change the program would almost be the same and Windows 7 or 8 will not run its best on old computers. Imagine how many new computers will be purchased. Not only will I have to get the new office computers, but I will need to have my software company come and reinstall the medical programs. Tomorrow morning my office will be turned upside down in order to properly update. X'ing out XP is sparking the economy.

Happy Birthday

Today is my sister's birthday. She is 60 years old. Just seeing that number in writing is mind boggling. Where did the years go? Sixty years old is not what it used to be. As they say, sixty is the new forty. My sister looks young, acts young and thinks young. She the most kind, caring and fun person you could ever meet. She is a loyal friend, but she expects the same loyalty back. She takes no nonsense from anyone and I applaud her for that. I am still learning how to do that. She always kids me that she hasn't taught me well. She is my best friend. Not many sisters can say that. So, happy birthday and many, many more. I love you.

Perception Unchallenged

Perception unchallenged, becomes reality. The older I get, the more aware I am of people's viewpoints. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion of things, but it disturbs me when they manipulate the facts. I used to sit by quietly and let people say totally irrational things. I no longer do that. I can no longer sit by and hear things that I know are untrue being presented as gospel. I now challenge the other person to back up what they are saying with fact and most times they cannot. They are just trying to sell their own thoughts as truth. I will not allow your perception to become my truth.

Mo Than Expected

I had the best time last night. Since it will be my sister's 60th  birthday Monday, my brother in law planned a surprise. We were told to be ready at 3pm and plan to be out until midnight. We got dressed and waited at the door to be picked up. We headed into Manhattan and arrived at the theater district. He picked out a wonderful restaurant and we had an early dinner. We then walked past the theaters and he stopped at "Motown". He had tickets for the 7:30 show. Mezzanine 2nd row. From the moment the curtain went up, I was living in the 1960's again. The audience knew every song and the singing and dancing never stopped. For almost three hours, I was captivated by the music. We had a perfect evening and I am so glad we were included in it. It was "Mo" than I could have every dreamed of.

Pain in the Neck

I woke up yesterday morning with a pain in the neck. The kind that burns and feels like it is hard to hold your head up on your shoulders. I can barely turn my head to the left. Normally it would not be such a big deal but I drive on two parkways to get to work and if I want to merge in without having an accident, I need to look to the left. I got to work and back by the grace of god. Everyone told me to take two Advil so I did when I got home. My neck still hurts but my knees feel great.

No More Room

My employer is trying to redecorate the office. Her sister is moving out of a large house into an apartment in Manhattan and has a lot of extra furniture. My boss is determined to cram as many pieces of that furniture into the office. Not only does it not fit, it looks terrible. All mismatched bookshelves. Some of them are old and worn. The building maintenance man is supposed to move everything around this morning. I know it will look terrible and she will not listen to anyone about it. I think I will just stand on the sidelines and laugh to myself.

Name Change

I am thinking about changing my name. I have 2 choices for the first name, but the last name is the same for both. One will be a work name and the other a family name. At work my first name will be "Somebody'll" and at home it will be "She'll". My new last name will be "Dooit". When something breaks down at work, everyone walks by it. The reason is that if it needs to be fixed, "Somebody'll Dooit". At home when something needs to be attended to, the family knows that "She'll Dooit". While most times I do not mind being Mrs Dooit, other times I wish that there were other "Dooits" in the family.

Deja Vu

When I got up this morning and looked out the window it was deja vu. That same sickening feeling that has hovered about for the past few weeks. Do I go to work or do I stay home. For many people it is not a decision today. Since it is President's week the schools are closed so teachers and students can stay in bed. It isn't the decision of driving that bothers me, but it is the thought of going to a hilly area and sliding around. For the first time ever, the thought of working from home sounds good. I love my job and I love my co workers, but I am beginning to hate the traveling.

President's Day

Today is President's Day. A day to reflect on the great Presidents of the United States. It is also a day to reflect upon the poor decisions of the United States. While presidents of the past are looked upon as great men, our current president is losing his approval rating day by day. Since this is his last term, he seems to think that he can do whatever pleases him and not the nation. He has approved laws without Congressional or Senate approval and exercised his executive power. I thought that is what a dictator does. He has told Israel that if they do not give land back to Palestine, he will impose an embargo against them. I thought we were Israel's ally. He has no regard for the well being of this nation and people are taking notice. I took notice prior to his first term even though he was a good actor. I just did not buy his act. We had a second chance and we blew it. I just hope he does not do irreparable damage until he leaves office.

Abandoned

I went to a local mall last night for dinner. I had not eaten in the Cheesecake Factory for years, so we decided to try it again. The food was delicious and the portions were huge. When we left the restaurant I felt like we were walking in an abandoned building. Stores that once were overflowing with crowds were dark and empty. There was only one food court vendor and it was closed for the night. The center kiosks were just empty shells. We could hear our voices echoing when we spoke. It was sad to think that a fairly new mall could fail so poorly. The stores were good ones, the location was also good, but without any "anchor" stores, businesses could not survive. Rumor has it that it will turn into a flea market. We will just have to wait and see.

Demographics and Marketing

Marketing a product in the correct way makes a big difference. I see that from how each school district sends our their continuing education flyers. One district sends a plain postcard that tells you to go onto the web and look at the catalog. This district has lost almost all of its students because people do not want to scroll online and choose classes. Another school district sends a 20 page catalog out in the mail and they get a good response. Their booklet is a solid yellow color. The third district sends out a beautiful multicolored booklet that looks like a floral painting. This district gets an overwhelming response. I work for all three districts and the courses I offer are all the same. The three districts are no more than 5 miles apart, but the enrollment numbers are so varied. In this case, good marketing makes all the difference.

Valentine's Day

I love holidays but people use them for the wrong reason. Today is Valentine's Day and men and women are buying cards, candies and flowers. I love the sentiment, but if you have to set aside a special day to let someone know you love them and care about them, it loses a bit of its meaning. Tell the special person in your life that they are loved each day and show them in even the smallest way. That means more than an elaborate showing once a year.

Cotton Candy

I am living in a sea of white cotton candy. The snowflakes are the size of quarters and I can actually see the full shape of each one as they drift down to the pavement. No matter how much we all watch the weather channel, we never know what will really happen until we get up and look out of our windows. I have decided that this will be the last snow storm of the season. I am probably deluding myself, but it works for me. Even though I plan to stay at home, I still have the need to look at the weather cameras on the local parkways. For some reason just seeing the traffic move gives me hope. By tomorrow the snow will be plowed and the temperatures will rise and we will be back to business as usual.

Cook or Clean

I sometimes ask myself this question. If I were rich and could have a choice of a cook or a maid, which would I choose? I have asked this question to many people and I would say there is a 50/50 split. I would choose a cook. If I had someone to prepare every meal, I would be eating very healthy and probably be 15 pounds lighter. I always look for new recipes, but if they have more than 4 ingredients I never make them. If the words "separate, fold or whisk" appear anywhere in the directions, there is no way I will even try them. I am a good cook but a basic one. I bake, broil or grill. Don't ask me to poach.

Outdated

I have been going to the same hair salon for 30 years. After a change of management all of the stylists relocated a block away to an old established beauty parlor. There is a difference between a salon and a beauty parlor. The new beauty parlor still has the old fashioned hair dryers that look like they are from the 1950's. They are the kind that completely cover your head and almost make you deaf from the whooshing of hot air that circulates around your ears. I do not mind the new place as it is around the corner from my house. When I go there it brings back memories of accompanying my mother to have her hair done when I was 5. The look and the smell are the same. The clientele there is also older. No one has their natural hair color and most have just given up and let it go white. Some patrons come in using walkers. I feel comfortable and out of place, at the same time.

Glimmer

I woke up this morning to a glimmer of light. When I went to sleep last night it was snowing. It was not a big storm but just enough snow to cover my car and the roadway. It felt like I had taken two steps back. I was finally seeing the blacktop of the street and now it was all white again. This is getting annoying. As I opened my eyes at 6:20am, I could see the sunrise from my bedroom window. It felt like a long lost friend had come to say hello. What a difference than the usual dark mornings. I woke up with hope. Hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and soon the snow will melt and things will warm up.

Leftovers

I love leftovers. I find that some foods taste better the day after. Sometimes even 2 days after. Maybe even 3 days. When I get to the fourth day, I toss it in the trash. When I cook dinner I usually make one extra portion and freeze it. I say it is for my "school lunch" even though I have been out of school for almost 40 years. Some foods just marinate well, a bit longer, waiting to be eaten again. Chinese food is tricky though. If you mix the saucy food with the rice, you will get mushy rice. Separating the food is the key to Chinese leftover success. Italian food is a sure thing. The meats stay well and pasta will still be firm. Home cooking also stays well, except for mashed potatoes. They get watery. As you can tell, I have this leftover thing down to a science. This afternoon I am taking my leftover Chines food on a ride to my sister's house. She will make fresh rice and our stomachs will be happy.

Not So Taxing

Yesterday, I filed my income taxes. This is the second year I have done it myself. I used to give my papers to my accountant and he would fill them out for me. Back in the 1980's, you called the accountant and he came to your house. He plugged in his adding machine and spread out all of the tax forms. I made coffee and cake. He stayed for a few hours as he added and subtracted the figures. We sat at the table in suspense, waiting for the grand totals. My taxes were always straightforward, but for some reason I felt that the accountant was doing a miracle when I got a small refund. After years of at home visits, I began to give the papers to the accountant and he would call me a few weeks later with the figures. After the year 2000, I noticed that the forms looked like they were done through a computer program. When these programs became available to the public, I still had the mindset that I was not knowledgeable enough to do my own taxes. Last year, I broke down and tried to do them myself. It took about 1/2 hour. The program asked me question after question and baby stepped me through the process. Within 3 weeks a refund was directly deposited into my account. A precedent was now set. I would no longer pay hundreds of dollars for something I could do myself.

Friday Pals

I have a new pal on Fridays. Since my son has new work hours temporarily, I stay with my grandson. Today I will watch him during the day and then again at night while my daughter in law goes back to work. They are two very hard working people, so helping them out is my pleasure. My grandson is at the age where he smiles and gets excited when I walk in the room. When it is time for me to leave, he has a big frown and cries. Even though I hate to see him cry, I love the feeling that this little boy actually cares when I leave him. When we are together, we roll on the floor, sing songs, read books and play with many of his toys. I never remember playing with my children when they were young. I do remember reading to them, but I was a notorious "page skipper". I would read page one and skip to page four. I never thought they knew the difference. Maybe that is why they are good at their police jobs. They spent their childhood years trying to figure out the missing pieces of all of their story books.

No Problem

Lately, I have been using a new phrase. Many times during the day I find myself saying "no problem". For some reason using that word pacifies people. When I am at work and people shoot a thousand requests at me, I say "no problem". It doesn't mean that I will do everything you ask. To me, it means that there will be no problem having me try but I am making no promises. I have realized that by using this phrase, I do not have to say another word. Years ago I would be asked to do a thousand things and then have a conversation about it. "I will try to do it". "When do you need it done?" "Could it wait until tomorrow?". Now, I find that when I say "no problem" the conversation comes to a halt. The other person looks at me and just walks away. I wish I would have thought of saying this years ago. Then, I would have spent years having "no problem".

Screen Saver

When I go to work this morning I am going to change all of the office screen savers. I will put up a picture of every tropical sunset scene I can find. They will be pictures of palm trees and sandy shores. They will be the bright orange/red/purple sunsets that only happen in the Caribbean or Hawaii. I have had enough of looking out of my window and seeing a winter wonderland. After too much snow, all I see is a winter disaster. If I have an alternate window to look out of, I will feel happier and fool myself into thinking that Spring is just around the corner.

Quiet Block

I am living in my house 33 years. I live on a quiet block. The street is only one block long. You don't go down it unless you live there because it does not lead to anywhere else. At Halloween, we never get any trick or treater's since the kids on the block are grown. The only problem with it being so quiet is that when it snows, the plows leave us for last. Other family members who live in the same town have the plow come up and down their streets 4 or 5 times. We sit and wait. And wait. After yesterday's snow storm we waited until 9pm to have the plow come. Sometimes being quiet is good. Other times it has it's drawbacks.

No Mo' Snow

Ok. It's enough. This isn't funny anymore.The snow is getting annoying. I woke up this morning at 3am to a blackout. Luckily by 4:34am the lights were on again. I looked out my window to see heavy snow falling. I do not work in a school, so I still have to go to work. The snow is the heavy, wet kind. The weather report says 5-8 inches. I do not want to have a repeat of two weeks ago when I slipped and slid home. Well, off I go, into the tundra.

Groundhog's Superbowl

Today two notable days come together. Groundhog's Day and Superbowl. First we need to thaw out the groundhog so he can see his shadow. Then there will be the usual discussion of "if he sees his shadow does it mean a long or short winter"? No one ever seems to remember the answer. Later in the day, families and friends will gather for Superbowl parties. Most of the people at the parties have no idea who is even playing. They are there for the food. They are cheering more for the nachos and dip than for the team.

Constructive Criticism

Is there really such a thing as constructive criticism ? To me, the word criticism sends out negative vibes. When someone criticizes what you are doing, they are really just complaining about it. What you are doing doesn't meet their standards.  Why do people think that their standards have to be yours? What is good for me does not have to be good for you. Nor does it have to please you. When I teach my workshop on communication we discuss how to get our point across in the most positive and effective manner. I use the term "don't complain, just explain". Instead of criticizing someone else's actions just explain how you do it and let them adjust their way if they want to. If not, you need to adjust you attitude towards it.