Over Analyzing

I tend to over analyze situations. Last night I went to see the Elvis Tribute show at a local theatre. The crowd was an over 65 demographic. Some people looked like Elvis. When the show started, the announcer told us that Elvis's original drummer was on stage. I then started to calculate his age. If he started with Elvis at 20 years old, then he would be about eighty. He played two songs and then the regular drummer took over. In order to get off stage, two security guards had to brace him under his arms as he crept along. It took one full song until he was safely in the wings. During this song, my attention was not on Elvis but on the elderly man. I was praying he would not fall. After a few songs Elvis told us that the Sweet Inspirations would be joining him. They sang with Elvis from 1969 to 1976. Now I was calculating their ages. I figured over 75. They entered stage left and shuffled to stage right where their microphones were. They clutched each other's hands as they painfully moved along in their bedroom slippers. I think that they had a one night pass from The Bristol and that Access a Ride was waiting for them at the stage door. Midway through the first song, one Inspiration had to sit in a folding chair. During the next song the other Inspiration got a bit winded and joined her in a second chair. They remained seated for the rest of the show. After intermission, the older version of Elvis came out. He began to sweat so heavily that it was dripping into his eyes and smudging his makeup. Now all I could focus on was dark makeup rings. After a few songs his belt started to slip. He kept pulling it up. I wanted to jump on stage with a safety pin and tack it to him, so I would not have to be distracted by his futile adjustments. Finally, he took off the belt and made it tighter. I guess he felt my anguish. Then came the scarves. He put them on his neck, wiped the sweat off and gave them to the screaming geriatric women. After twenty scarves, I wanted to tell the women that this is really a fake Elvis, so they were getting impersonator sweat. At this point, I closed my eyes so I could just listen to the music, which by the way was wonderful. For the final bows, the "sit down" singers got up to take their bows by grabbing the microphone stands and pulling themselves upright. I did enjoy the show, but then I realized that 2000 senior citizens would be exiting the theatre and driving at night. I need to stop overthinking things.