Not Enough Time

As usual, I picked up my father from dialysis yesterday. Some Fridays he seems peppy and others he seems sad. Yesterday was a bit of a sad day. He wanted Chinese food so we headed to the take out and were planning to eat there. When we entered the store it was freezing, so we took the food to go. He is not a fussy eater but he did not like the food. The soup was too thick (which it was). The chow fun tasted very salty (which it was). He finished his food and we went into the living room to read. This is the regular routine. He took his power nap and when he got up he started to cry. He said he missed my mother and that he did not have enough time with her. That statement made me feel both happy and sad. To be with someone for almost 67 years and think that it was not enough time, is a testament of his love for her. That made me happy. To be with someone for almost 67 years and miss them so much, is also a testament of his love for her. That made me sad. I do not think that he realizes that when he speaks about his wife, he is also speaking about my mother. If he is hurting then so am I.