Heartbreak

My receptionist's mother is in the hospital. She is 91 and has dementia. It is only a matter of time until she is gone. When my receptionist came to work yesterday, I could see that her heart was breaking. I know the feeling. You walk the fine line between wishing they would come home and realizing that there is no longer a quality of life to come home to. You want them to live and die, all at the same time. You want to have them as they were, not as they are and that is never going to be. I sat and cried with her yesterday morning. I cried for her and I cried for myself. I still miss my mother and that emotion will never wane. Last night my mother came to me in my dream. She was dressed so beautifully, as she always was. We were going out to lunch. She was walking without a walker. We held hands. It was such a nice visit. I ask myself, did I dream about her or did she come back to comfort me? I believe the latter.