One Door Closes

Tonight is New Years Eve. The door of 2013 will close and the door of 2014 will open. I can best describe 2013 by using a quote from "A Tale of Two Cities". It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. My father had to start dialysis and the procedures to enable him to do so were grueling. I am not sure I could have withstood them as well as he did. As bad as the procedures were, was as good as the outcome. He is doing very well and has his strength back. Other than spending a few hours a day, a few days a week at dialysis, his life is as full as it had been. I call dialysis his part time job. This year my grandson was born prematurely. He weighed 3.9 pounds and stayed in intensive care for 32 days. Eight months later, he is a healthy 16 pound boy who has the most delightful personality. He is a joy to be around. When all is said and done, 2013 brought health and happiness. I can only pray that 2014 will be as good.

Back to Work

It has been a week since I was at work. It feels like longer than that. I will find 4 days of mail sitting on my desk. There will be many calls to return. I will have a full mail slot. By noon, everything will be done. I work systematically and after this many years at one job, it is like fitting a puzzle together. Step one comes before step 2 and so on. If I do each task at a decent pace, I will catch up and by tomorrow I will be back on schedule. The holiday weeks turn everything upside down. Now that the holiday has passed, we can all return to normal.

Change

I often say, "Life is change and change is good". Change is not easy. It puts us out of our comfort zone, but once we acclimate it feels right. Sometimes in life as we mature, we change but others around us do not. In most cases the change is for the better. Even though it is hard to change, it is harder and many times almost impossible to change back to what once was. Change means we have grown and learned. Changing back means we are taking a step backwards and that would not be good. That is how people grow apart. I have seen this happen to many friendships.

Take Over

Whenever I travel, I take along my small laptop computer. I write my blog and check email on it and do not have to use a public computer. This weekend, when I went to write the blog I typed in one of my other email addresses and then realized that it was not the address I associate with the blog. The addresses are off by one letter. For some reason I could not clear out the email address. Google kept giving me a message that said something like, "One account makes things easy". I closed the browser and started again and the wrong address was still there. There were no options to change the email name. I had to use internet explorer to write the blog. For three days Google locked in the wrong address. Finally on the fourth day, I tried every way I could think of to get rid of the name. The best I could come up with was to add the correct address and have the ability to alternate between the two. This is the reason why I do not use a public computer.

More Goodbyes

I used to think it was hard saying goodbye to my son after we visited him. Now it is even harder since my granddaughter was born. Last year she was a newborn so I just gave her a big kiss. She was only ten days old and slept for the entire visit. This year she is walking and playing and interacting with us. When it was time to go, I just wanted one more kiss. Then one more smile. Then one more laugh. I wanted to remember every minute of watching her run through the house after her bath. Soaking wet and smelling wonderful. I wanted to remember the smell of kissing her cheek that was full of apple cranberry pumpkin smoothie. I wanted to remember holding her tiny fingers that were damp from having them in her mouth. I won't see her for a few months and Skype does not have the same effect. Saying goodbye only gets harder.

The Day After

It is December 26. The day after Christmas. For some people it is a good day. For some people it is not. Some families have wonderful memories they can dwell on. Some families wish they could forget the past day. Some presents were loved. Some were hated. A good majority of both will be returned today. The lines we hated to wait on to purchase the gifts will be the same lines we loathe when we wait to return them. I am not a monetary person. The price or size of  a gift never meant anything to me. People place too much importance on "things" this season and do not realize that the only true gifts are family, health and love.

Cupie Doll

I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter in law, granddaughter and  my "extended family". Over the past 12 years, her family has become my family. I could not find a nicer group of people if I searched for them. When I walked into their house, I saw a tiny living doll. My granddaughter is a very petite girl, only 28 1/2 inches tall. She is a bit less than 17 pounds. She has ten feet of energy packed into her. She played and walked and babbled and smiled all night long. When it came time to tuck her in for the night, she was having none of that. She wanted to stay up with the big people. The only way to get her to sleep was to leave. We will see her again today at 1pm and my son will be there for an hour. He has to go to work today. Tomorrow we will have a full day with him.

Back To New England

We are just about to get in the car and head back to New England. We made the same trip a week ago for my granddaughter's birthday. This time I will have a bit more alone time with her. We  always spend one day of this trip with just our family, so I plan to make the most of it playing with my precious little girl. Last year at this time she was a newborn and had no idea what was happening. This year she is walking and playing and interacting with her environment. I can hardly wait to get up there.

Age Appropriate

I was taking a walk in my local shopping center yesterday morning. It was a beautiful December day, warm and sunny, and people decided to act "spring like". As I walked to the stores I saw people washing their cars and doing lawn work. There was at least one car with its top down. As I was walking into the main area of the shopping center, a beautiful shiny Corvette drove by. It was immaculate and had vanity plates. It stopped along the fire zone, which many people do when they just want to run into the store for a minute. The car door swung open and I saw a person in the car, but no one got out right away. I saw movement like twisting and turning, but still no person. After about three minutes I saw an old man, maybe in his 70's, maneuver out of the car almost facing backwards. It was obvious that his bones could no longer conform to a car so low and contoured. It looked almost painful. I kept walking, but should have stayed just to see how he got back in.

Special Gift

Today is my birthday. I cannot believe that the person looking back at me in the mirror, is actually me. I am 58 today, but I still feel like I am in my 30's. My mindset is young.  Each year when my birthday rolls around, I reflect on how lucky I am. I do not need any gifts because I have something more valuable than anything on earth. I have my entire family. At 58 years old, I still have both of my parents. They are 90 years old and still partake in every type of activity that their younger friends do. I have a sister who would move heaven and earth for me. I have a husband that has never said a bad word to me in 32 years. I have two sons that have exceeded every expectation I ever had for them. They are good family men and both chose wonderful wives. I have two precious grandchildren that are happy and healthy. What other gift could I possible get that could out do the ones that G-d has given me?

Six Great Years

Today is Shelby's birthday. He is six years old. I never could have imagined that a little blond ball of fluff could bring a family such happiness. When we first decided to get another dog, I only wanted a miniature one. We went to the pet store and ordered one. We had to wait for almost 2 months for him to be born. I wanted the dog to only weigh about 5 pounds when fully grown. When Shelby arrived from Missouri, he weighed 2 pounds. He was half the size of my shoe. He was too little to walk up the 2 inch incline from my lawn to my deck, so I had to carry him. Just like with a baby, there is a period of adjustment, as any newborn life needs to settle in to its new routine. Shelby grew and grew and grew and is now 16 pounds. He is the happiest, most loving, playful dog you could ever meet. Shelby was the best addition to our family.

Say It With Flowers

I was surprised in work yesterday when a large bouquet of flowers was delivered to me. As the delivery man walked in with them, everyone in the front office said the usual, "I wonder who those are for?" There were 2 bouquets. Whenever flowers are delivered to someone at work, you can't wait to find the card to see who they are meant for. These flowers were for me and my morning receptionist. If I had to guess the price I would say each one was $75 with delivery. They were sent to us by one of our research volunteers. He is a 40 year old man who decided to become a psychologist. His current job is a cameraman for commercials and movie productions.  Since admittance into a psychology graduate program is so competitive, a letter from my boss pulls a lot of weight. That is why he has spent this year as her assistant doing everything and anything she asks of him. As we do with all of our staff, when they start they are welcomed in as family. When I called him to tell him he was crazy to spend so much money on the flowers, he said that we deserved 100 times that. He said he has never been so warmly welcomed in any job and learned so much from us. I took a picture of the flowers so I can still see their beauty long after they die.

Drive Through Medicine

Years ago there were country doctors. They had their practice out of their homes and you did not need an appointment. They even made house calls. Medicine evolved and became more like a big business. Doctors started booking appointments every ten minutes and the wait time was sometimes hours. We all sat and waited quietly as we revered the doctor like he was royalty. The tides are turning now. Urgent care practices are opening up in every town. I had a sore throat yesterday and the thought of going to my primary care doctor and waiting for an hour made me feel worse. I have been to urgent care facilities before and they were great. A new Premier Care opened up in my town, so I decided to go there and see a doctor for my throat. The office was spacious, clean and state of the art. I checked in at the front desk and was taken in immediately. A nurse took my vital signs and another nurse took my history. Within 3 minutes a nice doctor walked into the room and checked my throat. He gave me a strep test, which was negative. He diagnosed me with sinusitis and then he sent my prescription electronically to my local pharmacy. All of this took 15 minutes. When I arrived at the pharmacy, the Rx was waiting for me. I do not think I will ever go to my primary care doctor for routine visits anymore. This way is so much easier and they are opened 365 days a year.

Slip and Slide

Driving to work yesterday was like trying to navigate a luge course. A drive that normally takes 15 minutes, took close to 2 hours. Cars were on the shoulder facing sideways and backwards. They were the lucky ones. Other cars were just piled up in a mess of metal. People say that they are afraid to drive in the snow. Snow, at least has traction. Icy roads are the dangerous ones. I made it to and from work safely, and that is all that counts.

Holiday Party

Today from 11am to 1pm is my annual office pot luck luncheon. For some reason this year people have become lazy and do not want to cook. If they had things their way we would all bring paper plates and napkins. The people that used to cook now want to bring cake. It is turning into a pot luck dessert party. The menu is as follows: chicken, rice, dry macaroni and cheese and 6 desserts. I do not think there will be enough chicken to feed everyone, so the dessert people need to be fed last. It is also the day we exchange gifts. I hope I do not get 10 candles.

Pajamas

After the long ride home from Massachusetts, we stopped off to fill up with gas. Next to us was a woman in a hat and her pajamas. At first we thought it was very odd that a woman would only be wearing a hat and pajamas. We looked a bit closer and noticed that her car had a flat tire. Had she known that she would have to stop and get out of her car, she probably would have dressed differently. I know that for a fact because the same thing happened to me about 20 years ago. I was driving my son to a friend's house at 4am. They were going away for the weekend. The friends house was 1 mile away. I got in the car with my pajamas and never bothered to take my cell phone. After 1/2 mile my car just died in the middle of the street. It was as if someone pulled the plug. The ignitor gave out. Not the ignition, the ignitor. Who knew a car had an ignitor? I had my son run to my sister's house and they called AAA for a tow. When the tow truck came, there I was in my pajamas. After that, I always dress in regular clothes when I leave the house and never forget my cell phone.

Electra

The storm is just about over and in a few hours we will begin the ride home. We had such a great time celebrating our granddaughter's first birthday. She opened up her gifts and loved each one of them. As usual, my son ordered too much food and there was enough cake to cater a second party. We will be returning in 10 days for the holidays. Hopefully the snow will stay away.

Party Day

This afternoon is the big first birthday party. I blinked my eyes and a year flew by. We spent some alone time with my granddaughter, watching her open the presents that we gave to her. My son and daughter in law wanted her to know who gave her the gifts, as today will be hectic with so many people around. As she opened each box, she clapped and giggled and played. She tried to show her cousin what she got, but he was too busy smiling and cooing. This morning we will take our usual walk at the Legacy Mall, while my younger son and his family swim at their hotel pool. We are watching the snow forecast as we will be traveling home tomorrow. The same trip will be made again  in 10 days.

On The Road

We are getting on the road to see my granddaughter for her first birthday. My grandson will be coming along to play with his "older" cousin. I hoped for better weather this weekend, but I am not Mother Nature. It is bitter cold out, so we are bundling up like we are headed to Alaska. We will have a family dinner at a restaurant tonight and there will be a party on Saturday. I will be doing this same trip again in ten days for my usual holiday visit.

One Year

Today my granddaughter is one year old. The year has flown by. She is now walking and is exploring every inch of the world that surrounds her. A lot has happened this year. At this time last year, no one knew that there would be another grandchild on the way. Tomorrow we are all going to New England to celebrate at the birthday party. Just as I have seen my granddaughter grow, so has my son. He is a doting father who now knows how much joy a child can bring into your life. He now understands why, at 33 years old, his mother still looks at him like he is the most wonderful child in the world.

I Want It Now

Yesterday the water heater in my boss's house broke. She called her oil company and they said it would cost $4800 to replace it. She thought it was too expensive. She asked what they would charge for labor only if she got the unit herself. They said $1200. When she came into the office my job was to track down the unit and get someone to install it "now". There is no "now" when it comes to installations. I tracked down the unit for $1800, but they deliver to the front of the house. They do not bring it to the basement. They said it weighs 1000 lbs. She says it weighs 385 lbs. I would think they know better. I called 5 companies to ask the price for installation. One said $3500 and the other four said they need to come down and see the job. One company charges $175 for the estimate. I gave my boss the information and she said to tell them she needs the installation "now", so they need to give her a price over the phone. By then it was 2pm which is the time I go home. I gave the papers to my receptionist and walked out. This morning I will find out what happened, but I can bet you she still has no hot water.

Idioms

Next Tuesday my office is having its Pot Luck Holiday Luncheon. I call it the "Same Old Food" party. I printed up a sign in sheet so each person could list what they will be bringing. I then filled in the dishes for half of the doctors. Spinach pie, macaroons, dried out macaroni and cheese and greasy samosas. The new people will have to figure out what they will add to the menu. One doctor usually brings wine, but at last week's holiday party another doctor drank too much, so I decided to turn the wine into soda. When I posted the list, our new intern from Italy asked if he needed to bring a pot holder. I explained the difference between pot holders and pot luck. I then realized how odd the expression pot luck was. Why don't we call it fork fortune?

Favors

Today I am writing about favors. Not the kind you do for people, but the kind you give to people. I was at a bridal shower yesterday and we played the usual party games. As each game ended a prize was given. They were familiar looking gifts, placed in shiny shopping bags. In one bag was a scented hand cream. In another was a candle. The next one contained a scented body splash. These types of gifts seem to be the standards at all parties, but no one truly wants them. They are either a scent we do not like or a candle that would have no where to be displayed. If it is close to the holidays, we sometimes pawn  them off on co workers. I am proposing a new type of gift. Something useful. How about a box of elbow macaroni? Maybe some apples and pears. A jar of decaf instant coffee would always come in handy. I want to take my prize home and be glad I won it and not have to think about where to hide it.

Pecking Order

This afternoon I am going to a bridal shower. One of my receptionists got married last month. She did a reverse order. She became engaged on a Tuesday and married on that Friday. Today is the bridal shower and next Sunday is the religious wedding. Years ago there was a pecking order of life events. Date, engaged, married and then children. Nowadays it is a crap shoot. The order can be any combination. My receptionist's order is due to immigration circumstances. Her longtime boyfriend finished his internship, but due to the economy his company could not hire him as a full time worker. Hence, the rushed wedding. In her culture, unless you are married in a religious ceremony, you cannot live together. She still lives with her parents in her bedroom and her husband lives at her parent's house in the basement. After the formal wedding next week he will be allowed upstairs. They will look for an apartment after the new year. I am looking forward to a fun afternoon.

The Masses

My father has an expression that says, "The masses are the a**es". I find this to be especially true during the holiday season. This morning, one of my friends has been camping out at the mall since 5am, with hundreds of other "masses" in order to buy Nike sneakers. The sneakers cost a few hundred dollars. They are not made of gold or silver. They are made of leather and cloth. They are the newest design, that in January, will be the older model. The reason why Nike can charge this absurd price is because absurd people will pay it. Let's get a reality check. They are sneakers. They do not make you smarter and in fact, if you spend that kind of money, I question your sensibility. The CEO's of brands like Apple and Nike really know psychology. Like sheep being led to the slaughter, so are the consumers who wait in line to buy their products. Enjoy the product today, because there is a newer model in production as you wait in line.

Patience

We are a society of pharmaceuticals. We have pills for every ailment. Pills for medical reasons. Pills for psychological reasons. Pills for every part of our bodies, inside and out. The one pill that is not manufactured is one for patience. Patience does not come naturally to most people. Nerves get frayed and tempers flare easily. There is no need for that kind of behavior. The elderly become the target of many people's lack of patience. If we are lucky, we will all grow old someday and would want the respect that we deserve. Are we all in so much of a rush that we cannot take a few moments longer to get our point across? When I have an elderly patient and their adult child at my reception window, I only address the patient. Nothing is ruder than speaking around an elderly person as if they cannot comprehend. Even if I have to clarify information a few times, it doesn't matter. One day, I will be the elderly woman at the window.

The Other Guy

Two month's ago we had a flood in my office. The overhead pipe broke and it was like Niagara Falls. The first day, the owners of the unit above us came into my office and took responsibility. Over the next few weeks, their concern grew less and less. Although they are insured and their adjuster inspected the damage, they are trying to shirk their responsibility. Somehow the promise of reimbursement has never come to be. At first I was pleasant to everyone I was dealing with, but now I have to be nasty. How can a large company like North Shore LIJ ignore the fact that they caused a flood. Now there will be certified letters and documented phone calls and basically a waste of my time, forcing a company to do the right thing.

Estranged

When I moved in to my house 32 years ago, our next door neighbors became our good friends. At the time I was in my late twenties and they were in their late forty's. We considered them family and were very close for almost 11 years. When my son turned 13 he wanted a basketball hoop for his birthday. We were going to install it at the edge of our lawn and sink it into concrete for stability. Before we did that we asked the neighbors if it was okay with them, as the end of their lawn joins the beginning of ours. The husband said it would be great and he would be looking forward to playing with it. We hired a handyman and the hoop was installed. Later that night, the neighbor came to our door and said that his wife did not like how the hoop looked. We said that we gave them the consideration of asking if it was okay prior to the installation and now that it was cemented in, it was there to stay. The location of it would insure that no one would be running on their grass, only on my driveway. The neighbor said he wanted it removed and we said it was too late for that. Push came to shove literally and when my older son stepped in to separate the pushing, the neighbor punched him in his head. That was the end of the friendship. For 15 years I never looked their way. As I got older, the memories of that ugly day faded and when I saw the male neighbor, we began to nod hello. Then we began to exchange pleasantries. I never really saw his wife as she was an in and out of car person. Three weeks ago, I saw them at a restaurant and walked over to their booth to say hello. The man was very friendly. His wife turned her head away. I felt bad and said to myself that I was never going to try to speak to her again. She died suddenly yesterday. What a shame that she had a chance to mend fences, but choose to hold onto a grudge.

The List

Yesterday when I came into work, I found a list on my desk. My boss had a free hour on Friday and she went from office to office with one of her underlings and jotted down what she wants changed. As they say, idle hands are the devil's workshop. The list had about 30 items on it and 28 were so ridiculous that I actually laughed out loud. Here is an example:

• Can we throw out the ugly router in the secretaries office? (Sure, but if we do we will need to hire someone to stand outside our window and hold a wire hanger to catch the internet rays)
• Can we replace the large surge protector with a small 4 prong plug? (Sure, and then when the lights go off an on and burn out the computer we can buy a new one)
• Can we remove the ugly black box from the back wall? (I don't know about you, but if I see a box hard wired into a wall, I wouldn't pull it out)
• Can we bolt the keyboard onto the desk so it won't move? (No, just type less aggressively)
• Can we call Bob's Furniture and have our chair replaced? (No, it is 5 years old and nothing is wrong with it)

There were 25 more crazy requests. I must say that the  insanity of the list was like a comedy routine. Who knows what will be waiting for me this morning.

Bad Signs

I was traveling on the Northern State Parkway the other day and saw a car on the side of the road. It was sitting on the grass in between exits. It looked like it had broken down and not able to start. Its owner had left it there, probably waiting for a friend to come and help get it or a tow truck. The thing that caught my eye was a sign in the passenger's window that said "For Sale". It struck me as being funny. Who would want to take down the telephone number of a car that is sitting broken on the side of the road?

Retail Reality

Each year, retailers are getting more insensitive to family values. It started when Black Friday slowly crept its way into Thursday. First it was 5am, then 3am, then midnight madness. This year it started 6pm on Thanksgiving Day. Workers had to cut their holiday short to return to work so that consumers could fight and push each other to get the best deals. The stores thought that this would double their business revenue. In reality, the numbers stayed the same. When people have a certain amount of money to spend on gifts, they will do their best to spread it around on the best deals. When the budget is gone, the consumer is done spending. It doesn't matter which day the money  leaves their pocket. Many people finished their Thanksgiving meal and piled into their cars to go shopping. They spent their money on the "doorbuster" sales and went home happy. On Black Friday, the shoppers who shopped on Thursday, stayed home. They remained home on Saturday too. They were gearing up for Cyber Monday. I was at the mall on Saturday and it was empty. I asked if Friday had been busy and most salespeople told me that the stores were empty then too. So, all that the greedy stores did, was have their workers cut their holiday short and not profit any more from it. I would like to know who thinks up these strategies?