Consideration

I was in my doctor's office over the weekend and it seems that most people there were suffering from a cold. The office staff posted a sign that said, "If you are coughing, sneezing, have a fever or a sore throat, please put on a face mask while you are in the waiting room". A box of face masks was on the countertop next to the sign in sheet. Since I was not sick, I just sat down. Within a few seconds I noticed that almost everyone was sneezing, coughing and sniffling but not one person in the entire office had a face mask on. I had a cold a few weeks ago and did not want to get another one, so I got up and got a face mask to protect myself. When I was called in to see the doctor, I told him that the office staff needed to change the wording on the sign to say, If you are healthy and would like to remain healthy, please put on a face mask, as the sick people are not being considerate".

Cyber Baby

I am not one for state of the art technology. I have a basic cell phone and only recently started to use texting. I never understood why people waited on line all night to buy the new ipod products when they would be readily available to the public a few days later. More recently, though, I am beginning to appreciate modern technology more. For the past few days, my daughter in law has been sending me pictures of the baby playing on her mat and wearing cute clothes. All she needs to do it snap the photo and email it to me. It takes one minute. Years ago you had to buy the film, load it, take the pictures, unload it, bring it to the store to develop them and hope no one would lose them. It was a week long process and sometimes when we got back the pictures, people's heads were cut off. Now we see the picture in a moment and save it even quicker. When I visit my parents in a few weeks, I promised to Skype with my children so my parents can meet the baby "screen to screen". It is wonderful that they do not have to wait months to see her "in person". I am slowly becoming a cyber grandma.

Male Bonding

It only took eight hours, but my tree is down. I hid in my house from 2pm on, waiting to hear a crash. After a few hours, I ventured outside to find my husband up a tree and a complete stranger helping him. I walked to the back of the yard and saw a man, who seemed to be in his 60's, guiding my husband on where to cut the tree. I said hello and went back into the house. I watched as the stranger stood there under the tree for about four hours, assisting in the project. I heard the buzzing of the saw and the sound of logs dropping to the ground. Directly underneath the tree was a car and it is a miracle that not even one twig fell on it. I would have waited for the car to be moved before I started cutting, but no one listened to me. Later on, I found out that this man had relatives who lived on the block behind my house. I guess that all men are little boys at heart and the thought of cutting down a big tree seemed like an exciting adventure that could not be passed up.

Still Cleaning Up

It is almost two months since the hurricane and we are still cleaning up. Now that the holidays are over, the focus is back on our home. As I write this, my husband is hanging off of a tree. He decided that cutting a tree down is "man's work", so I am hiding in the house. I hope calling 9-1-1 doesn't become woman's work. He is merrily using his new chain saw and raking to his hearts content. I am going to make sure he is safe before I start cooking dinner. No need to exert any unnecessary energy cooking, in case he needs to go to the hospital. I am joking of course. I said we should hire someone to cut the tree down, but Woody the Woodsman wants to do it himself.

Kindness Of Strangers

When I saw my daughter in law on Christmas Eve, she looked so upset. It seemed that she had ordered very special holiday gifts and was tracking them on the UPS website. They were clocked in as delivered at 3pm that day, but they were never delivered to her. We all speculated that they had been stolen off of her front stoop. She called UPS and they said they could not do anything about it until Dec. 26. The gifts were all personalized, so they would be of no use to anyone else. She thought they would be thrown in the garbage. In New York, some people had been trailing the UPS truck and stealing gifts as soon as the truck pulled away. She worried all night. She worried all day Christmas. When they went home that evening, they saw a car slowly circling their block. My son went outside and the car pulled up to him. It was an elderly lady looking for his address. She said that UPS put some boxes on her front porch and they were not hers. She had been away until that evening, but she wanted the gifts to go to their rightful owner. My daughter in law was thrilled. She gave us the gifts, personalized with our granddaughter's name, the following day and we will cherish them forever.

Best Gift Ever

Just when I thought things could not get better, I was wrong. Yesterday, after having dinner with my extended New England family, my son's phone rang. It was my younger son and daughter in law. They wanted the family to be together when they made their special announcement. They are expecting their first child. This June, I will have a second grandchild. A winter baby and a summer baby. What could be nicer? The excitement will start all over again. Setting up a nursery, buying the furniture and a baby shower. Another person to love!

The Weeds

Once again the weeds have popped up. Usually it is one. This time it was two .I call them the weeds because you never know where they will pop up. I arrived in Massachusetts yesterday and heard a familiar voice from behind me. I turned around to find my sister and brother in law. After the shock wore off, I asked when they got here. I had just spoken to her and she said she was eating at the local bagel store. She was really in Boston at the time. That's the dangerous part of cell phones. No one knows where you really are. They traveled 250 miles to meet my new granddaughter, their great niece. The plan was for them to meet her in a few weeks, but my sister could not wait! We spent the evening holding and feeding the baby and just staring at her beautiful face. I was so touched that they would make the trip, just for one day, to see my baby.

Another Christmas In New England

In a few hours I will be leaving for Massachusetts to spend another Christmas holiday with my son and daughter in law and their extended family. Since I am Jewish, I do not celebrate the holiday in a religious way but in a festive way nonetheless. The word Christmas rolls off my tongue easily. I equate Christmas with family, food, and the warm feeling you can only get from those you love. If you asked me 15 years ago if I would be spending Christmas anywhere, I would have said no. I have learned a lot since then. I have learned that I would not trade either of my daughter in laws for any other girl in the world. I learned that I respect other people's religions as I would like them to respect mine. I learned that our religious beliefs are either inherited from our families or the way we feel most comfortable accepting G-d. I learned that when all is said and done, we will wind up in the same place with the same G-d welcoming us. The only difference is the route we took to get there.

Belated Birthday

I can't believe I forgot his birthday. With all of the excitement over the past few weeks, I never realized that Shelby turned five on December 21st. He never even mentioned it. The thought popped into my head last night. For five years he has brought so much happiness into our home. It is amazing how 18 pounds of fluff can become such an important family member. He is always in good spirits and is there to cuddle up when you are sad. Without him, I would not have made it through the hurricane as easily as I did. His body heat alone helped me to sleep through the night. Even though we thought we would never get another dog after Shannen died, getting Shelby was the best decision we ever made. Happy Belated Birthday, Shelby. We love you!

Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday. I cannot believe another year has flown by. So much has happened. Two new babies were born and a wedding is being planned. In my heart, I feel eighteen. In my mirror, I look slightly older. Okay, maybe not "slightly" but humor me, it's my birthday. I woke up this morning to my phone ringing. It was my parents singing to me. Already, it is a wonderful day. Then I scratched off a birthday lottery ticket and won four dollars. After that, my sister and brother- in -law called and sang to me. Then, I heard a funny story. One of my friends called my cell and sang Happy Birthday to me. That is not the funny part. It seems that the first call that was made, was to a wrong number. After she sang the entire song, the lady on the other end of the line said, "Today is not my birthday". My friend just hung up the phone. Embarrassing, but funny.

The DMV

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of visiting my local DMV. I would have rather had a colonoscopy. Each of those is a shitty experience but the latter one is at least for your health. I had to make 3 trips back and forth to the DMV before I even got a number to wait on line. Each time I went, I was told I needed another form filled out. I have no idea why the first person couldn't have told me everything at once. Each time I needed a new form, I needed to go to my son and have him sign it. Since he needed this transaction to be done that day and he had to go to work, he did not have the time to wait there himself. When I finally got my number and waited the 1 hour until it was called, I had the pleasure of getting the nastiest customer service person. I named him Poindexter. He was a sullen, redheaded, eyeglass wearing geek. He reviewed the papers and said that he didn't like the way the "D" was signed on one of the papers.Sometimes when we sign our names, the signatures are not always identical. I told him that my son signed every one and that is why I had to make 3 trips to his house. He said he would not do the transaction. I asked for a supervisor. She came over and looked at the papers and said, "Just put them through". Now Poindexter was livid. He had a hissy fit and flung the papers around so much that they fell on the floor. He also informed me that he was going to order an "audit" on this. I said fine. I have no idea why he would need to waste taxpayer's dollars on the issue of a crooked "D". I finally did what I needed to and went home. I hope Poindexter loses all of his teeth except one, and that one should give him a toothache. (That, by the way, is an old proverb).

Bug Busters

There is nothing I would not do for my children, no matter how odd it seems. Last week my younger son had a bug issue. He had removed a toilet during remodeling his bathroom. Even though he capped the hole, bugs started to appear. He opened the cap and tiny flies swarmed out. He quickly recapped the hole and put bleach down the pipes. The next day he planned to open the hole and clean it, bleach it and stop the problem. He needed a hand, so, you guessed it, he called me. Mom, aka, the "bug buster". I came home from work, changed into my bug busting clothes and went to his house. I was all ready, with tools in hand as he uncapped the hole. I was ready to bust bugs. One, two, three, he opened the cap. One tiny bug flew out. I guess the bleach he put in the day before killed off everything. It was so anti-climatic. The bottom line was that I was there to help, just in case.

The Truth

I am not looking forward to work this morning. After a long meeting yesterday, I have the task of telling a loyal employee that she is now on probation, after 9 years. This task was a long time coming. While her work ethic is wonderful, her attitude is not. There is just so much her co workers can take. So, it is up to me to set her straight. My boss was trying to think of ways to tell her how everyone feels. I came up with a great concept. The truth. I hate to hurt anyone's feelings and I do not want to see someone cry, so I will deliver the truth in the kindest way possible and hope for the best.

OCD Man

We have Superman, Batman, Spiderman and many more. The only one that actually exists but we do not count is OCD man. There are many of these type of super heroes. Their super power is doing things over and over again. Making sure things are done a certain way. Not stopping until things are just right. Not only done, but done to perfection. Sometimes, to mere mortal people, there is no rhyme or reason to the tasks he undertakes. That is not for us to question. OCD man has his reasons. Keeping the universe safe and clean. Thanks OCD man.

Saving Days

I have sick days, vacation days and personal days. Each year I try to use them wisely. I never want to be caught without days and have my paycheck docked. Two years ago, I used the last day on December 30th only to wake up on the 31st to a snowstorm. One day away from being safe. This year I used the days sparingly since I was not sure how many I would need when my granddaughter was born. Now, I have an overflow. I am off today and off on Thursday. Then I will not return to work until January. I will spend some of those days in Massachusetts, watching my baby grow. By the time I get back to work, I will have a small taste of retired life. I am already antsy.

The Lines

Even though I have everything I need for the holidays, I still had to go to a few stores yesterday. I had a few coupons for free items and if I did not use them, they would expire. I got what I wanted and then found myself standing on a line that was over 30 people long. Each person's hands were filled with clothes that were intended to be holiday gifts for other people. Their faces looked weary as they shuffled from foot to foot. Then I began to laugh to myself. In two weeks there will be the same line but in reverse. All of the people that received these gifts will be standing on a line, 30 long, shuffling from foot to foot, returning all of the clothes that the people were purchasing for them today.

The Unthinkable

The unthinkable happened yesterday in Newton, Connecticut. Twenty seven innocent people were gunned down for no reason other than one man's insanity. When my son told me the news yesterday afternoon, I had to block it out of my mind in order to enjoy the day with my new granddaughter. The older I get, the more overwhelmed I feel when a tragedy involving children occurs. It is as if I freeze and cannot think of anything else. I helplessly pray for their souls and for their grieving families. I will avoid the television and newspapers for a week as to not have the visuals of the distraught people. If I saw their faces, I would not be able to do anything else all day but cry for them. I will dwell on why things like this are allowed to happen and then I will tell myself that it is G-d's will and we have no right to second guess him, even when we cannot fathom the situation.  I believe in the theory "so it is written...." and find a bit of consolation that maybe we, as humans, are not supposed to understand, but are only supposed to have faith and trust in G-d and know that those 27 people are now in his hands, at peace.

Beautiful Girl

We arrived in Massachusetts and went straight to the hospital to see our new baby. The pictures that my son sent did not do her justice. She is so beautiful with her round little face and beautiful mouth. She slept most of the time and I only saw her eyes opened for a moment. From the moment I stepped my foot into the room, she never left my arms. I held her and fed her and burped her. It has been quite a few years since I held a baby but you never forget. Since she was the first baby born at the hospital on 12/12/12, a newspaper article was written about her. One day old and her name is in print. When we returned to visit again after dinner, she had just received her fist Hep B injection and was quite feisty. As my son held her to calm her down, she opened her eyes and stared into his. She knew that daddy would keep her safe.

She Is Here

Finally, after months of waiting and speculation on "girl or boy", she is here. Seven and a half pounds of pure joy. As my son puts it, "The most beautiful little girl I ever saw". In a few hours, we will be heading to Massachusetts to meet the newest and most important member of our family. She was born on a lucky day, 12/12/12. Her parents will give her a wonderful life. Now my son will finally see how it is to love someone instantly and unconditionally. He will understand why parents act as selflessly as they do. He will understand why, at 31 years old, I still stare at him and cannot believe how much I love him. I know I will cry when I meet my granddaughter. It will be love at first sight.

12/12/12

Once a century this date comes around. There were 11 other matched dates from 2001 on but this will be the last one I will see. I am hoping that this date will hold a special meaning for another reason. As of last night, my daughter in law was in the hospital waiting to give birth. We are hoping to get a call soon, since she went into labor yesterday morning. All I want to hear is my son tell me that we have a healthy baby and mommy. I am too excited to go to work this morning. So is my daughter in law's mother. The grandpa's seem calmer. So for now, it is a waiting game and then tomorrow off we go to Massachusetts.

Choose the Words

When my children were teenagers, I learned a good lesson. Never ask a question that could be answered with a yes or no answer. If you want to get the most out of a limited conversation, you need to choose the right words. Instead of asking, "Did you have a good day at school", ask "What did you do in school today". The first question could have a yes or no answer, while the second question must have specifics. I kept that tip in my mind for all of these years and still use it when I feel it is necessary. Old tricks are the best.

Creativity

I am tired of eating the same foods. Day after day, nothing new, nothing exciting. Years ago some of my friends wanted to do a recipe swap. Each person would write down a few of their favorite dishes and give it to the rest of the group. After much talk, we never did it. I guess we would have liked it better if someone just cooked the dishes and gave it to each other. I decided to look at some cook books to get a few fresh ideas. In the first book, an interesting recipe started off with "parchment paper". I quickly moved onto the next page. If I read the ingredients and they are not things I have in my house, I lose interest. Last night, I opened up my refrigerator and stared at the contents to see if I could create a new dish. I took out croissants, eggs, cheese, corn, zucchini, shallots and asparagus. I pulled apart the croissants and lined a baking dish with them. I pushed them down to make it like a crust. I sauteed all of the veggies. I mixed the eggs and cheese, threw in the veggies and then dumped it onto the croissant crust. I baked it for 45 minutes. It turned out to be one of the best dishes I ever made. Who needs parchment paper when you have day old croissants.

Happy Hanukah

Last night was the first night of Hanukah. I cannot believe how fast the holiday came. Next year, believe it or not, it falls on the day before Thanksgiving! We can have turkey and potato latkes. When I was young, we lit the candles on the stove so it would be safe from starting a fire. Then the electric menorahs came out. They came in two types. The white plastic with the orange lights and the white plastic with the blue lights. I was always a traditionalist so I stuck with the orange lights. Every year as we lit the lights in the front window, we had the debate as to which side should be lit first. Does it go from left to right from inside the house or left to right if you are outside looking in. Left to right from inside is the correct way. Each day additional lights would flicker so we had to make sure they were not screwed in until the correct day. Years later, more modern menorahs were made so now there is a better choice. This year my daughter in law bought a beautiful art deco one. She surprised my son with it. This is a very special menorah, as my daughter in law is not Jewish but she took pride in picking it out for my son. So, happy holidays to all and maybe next year, as the song says, I might be "Spending Hanukah, in Santa Monica, in my sandals, lighting candles, by the sea".

Lost History

Last night my daughter in law came over for dinner. After we ate, we decided to look at picture albums. We wanted to show her our family from the "early years". We went through the old books dating back to 1980. She saw me, at her age. As we were looking at the albums, my husband ran downstairs to the basement and came up with an old tattered album that used to belong to his mother. He wanted us to look at his family history. My mother in law, Gloria, loved family pictures. If you had a picture that she liked, it would disappear from your album and find its way into hers. She used to line up the family and take a picture of "four generations of men" then "four generations of women". I smiled as I told my daughter in law that story. As we looked at Gloria's photos, I realized that I had no idea who most of these people were. I recognized her brothers and their wives and a few random relatives, but all of the others were strangers. If they were in her album, they must have held a special place in her heart. None of the pictures were labeled and when I looked on the back of the photos they were blank. All I had were nameless faces peering at me. Some pictures look like they were taken in the 1920's and were faded and yellow. Ninety years of family history, sitting in a book, lost forever.

Smart Shopping

I am a minimalist. I am the opposite of the expression "go big or go home". I would rather "go small or not at all". I find that to be most true during the holiday season. To me, bigger and more, is not better. The amount I spend on a gift, is in no way reflective of how I feel about you. I never lavished big gifts upon my children. They received nice things but within reason. I was never one to follow the fads. I see now that this philosophy has been ingrained into both of my sons. It bothers me when I see parents filling up their carts in the toy stores, so their children will have an overabundance of gifts to open. It doesn't bother me that they buy the gifts, it just bothers me that a week later, these gifts are put to the side. If you have too much of anything, nothing holds importance. This is just my opinion. I am sure most people will disagree. So, as usual, I will give my family members one gift each, and as usual, they will cherish it.

+1

Our new baby was due to arrive yesterday...or so we thought. (S)he already has a mind or his/her own. No matter what plans the doctors and family have for his/her arrival, our new addition has already let us know who is in the driver's seat. So, we anxiously await the moment when (s)he will decide it is time to enter the world. My bags are packed and my car has a full tank of gas. All I am waiting for is the call.

Sneakers

I was shopping in a sporting goods store over the weekend and wandered into the sneaker department. I did not need new sneakers but I just wanted to see what was out there. When I was young there were two kinds of sneakers. Keds and Converse. Boys mostly wore the Converse. They were goofy looking high tops and only came in black. The girls wore the Keds. The only time we wore sneakers was on gym days and on weekends. On gym days, we were not allowed to wear our sneakers to school. We had to bring them and change into them during gym class. Girls would carry them separately, but boys would tie the sneakers together by their laces and throw them over their shoulders. Now, sneakers are as mainstream as shoes. They are worn everywhere and by everyone. From infants to senior citizens. The thing I find funny is that now there are various types of sneakers. We have running sneakers, walking sneakers, aerobics sneakers, basketball sneaker, jogging sneakers and sitting sneakers. Just joking about the sitting sneakers. Now I have a dilemma. What if someone is out for the day in their walking sneakers and needs to run across the street. Is that illegal?

Sock It To Me

This morning I got up, got dressed and started getting ready to go to work, when it happened. The socks I put on were "malfunctioning". We have all had this happen to us. We put on our socks and shoes and start to go about our normal routine,when we feel one of the socks start to misbehave. It slowly slips under our shoe until our foot is exposed and naked. We take off the shoe, pull up the sock and hope it stays in place. It doesn't. Then we have to make the big decision. Do we take it off, replace it and throw it away. The first time it happens, we take it off and replace it but do not have the heart to throw it out. We think that maybe if we wash it, it will spring back to life. It never does. So, this morning, with a heavy heart, I tossed my misbehaving sock into the garbage. I just hope my husband doesn't think I made a mistake and transfers it into the hamper.

Am I Laughing?

I have a saying that something is not a joke unless both people are laughing. Sometimes people think that they are funny if they ridicule or poke fun at another person. Their defense is, "It was only a joke". A joke amuses two people and if the other person does not find what you are saying funny, it turns from a "joke" into a mean spirited statement. 

Found and Lost

Since I am still missing some gifts that were supposed to arrive by last week, I began to do some research. I finally got the tracking number to one of my smaller purchases. I went to the UPS site and this is what I saw. My package had arrived at the nearest depot, went out for delivery and returned to the depot in one hour. It seems to have taken a 70 minute ride and returned home. Maybe it got car sick. I called UPS and asked them what happened. The woman said, "The package left at 8:42 am and came back at 9:42am". I said I already knew that but wanted an explanation as to why that happened. She was baffled and began to ramble off a few reasons, none of which made any sense. When she was done babbling, I asked her if the package was misplaced. She said, "No, it was just left there". I prodded her a bit more, even though I knew she had no idea what happened. Now I was just entertaining myself. I think that the person who packs the truck forgot to load it and when the truck left, someone noticed it sitting there all alone and reclocked it in. Supposedly it will arrive Monday. I am not taking any bets on it. Now I know why people pay for insurance on packages. If I did not see the tracking log, I never would have believed it!

Uniondale, NY, United States	11/30/2012	9:42 A.M.	The package was left in a UPS facility. / Delivery rescheduled.
	11/30/2012	8:32 A.M.	Out For Delivery
	11/30/2012	4:35 A.M.	Arrival Scan
Stratford, CT, United States	11/30/2012	3:01 A.M.	Departure Scan
Stratford, CT, United States	11/29/2012	10:53 P.M.	Arrival Scan
Warwick, RI, United States	11/29/2012	8:48 P.M.	Departure Scan
	11/29/2012	6:53 P.M.	Origin Scan
United States	11/29/2012	5:22 P.M.	Order Processed: Ready for UPS

UPS and Downs

It is holiday season. The stores are not as busy as previous years because people are buying more online. This past week I ordered three gifts. One was arriving Fed Ex, one UPS and one USPS. As it turns out, one UPS gift was transferred over to USPS for final delivery. I do not understand why the package went from Tennessee to Uniondale and then had to switch carriers. Makes no sense to me since the final destination, my house, is a mile from Uniondale. Bureaucracy. Fed Ex delivered my package but I am still waiting for UPS and USPS. This makes me a bit insecure. Those two carriers like to "drop and run". They toss the package on my front porch and flee like a thief. They scan in that the delivery was made, but no one really knows if it was. For three days I have been on the outlook for my packages. USPS does not have a tracking number and the store I purchased the UPS package from is closed on the weekend and has not yet answered my email requesting verification of shipping. I feel like a truck stalker. I have been reduced to peeking out of my den window for any truck that passes my house. If I do not get the packages by Monday afternoon, I am putting a stop on my credit card. That seems to make everyone move quicker to resolve my dilemma.

The Artisan

The definition of artisan is "a person or company that makes a high-quality, distinctive product in small quantities, usually by hand and using traditional methods: food artisans". For some reason this term has become a catch phrase for the marketing of bread products. Local chain stores are making "Artisan" breads. Large fast food chains are putting their meats on "Artisan" rolls. Yesterday I saw "Artisan" Tostito's. This is contradictory to the definition of the word. The last time I looked, I did not see a baker in Burger King. I cannot imagine the person that works in the Tostito factory making each chip by hand. That would be grueling work and would take many hours to fill one bag. Someone in a marketing firm found this phrase and thought it would fool the public into thinking that the product they are purchasing is made in Europe in a small bistro shop. I resent people that think I can be so easily tricked. If they truly wanted to be honest in advertising, the product label would read "mass produced, chemically enhanced, overly salted bread made in bulk in a large factory setting". The company would be honest but bankrupt.

Tennis Anyone

This morning my parents got up early and went to the clubhouse in their community. Each week various clubs set up tables for the community members to join. They have luncheons, trips and events. I asked my parents what clubs they were signing up for. They said "tennis club, Italian American club, Democratic club and Snow Bird club. I understand the Democratic and Snow Bird clubs but was baffled by the other two. My parents are 89 years old and never held a tennis racquet. They are also not Italian. I asked them how they can be part of the tennis club if they do not play the game. They said no one in the club plays tennis. Maybe they did years ago, but not now. They said that the tennis club has good trips and the Italian club serves good food. The state of Florida makes me laugh. It is the only state in which a couple in their 80's can buy property and take out a 30 year mortgage. They can also renew an eight year driver's license at 95 years of age. God Bless them all.

The 60 Day'er

I belong to Costco, a wholesale shopper's club. You pay a yearly fee and are allowed to buy bulk food items for lower than usual prices. Of course you still need to be a good shopper because regular supermarket sales are sometimes a better value. A new wholesale club, BJ's, opened up in a neighboring town and to promote business they mailed out coupons to be a free member for 60 days, to see if you like their store. I decided to go see the new store and went to customer service to open my free membership. The store was nice and carried some different items than Costco. I signed up, had my ugly grainy picture taken, and began to shop. As I got to the first aisle, I saw someone with a circular. I asked an employee where the circulars are and she said at the customer service counter. I went back to the counter and asked for a circular. The girl took one from a box behind her and almost handed it to me. Almost. In the flash of an eye, the woman who opened up my new account appeared behind me, almost on my back. She shouted, "Don't give her the circular...she is a 60 day'er". I felt like a spotlight was being shined upon me. Like a prisoner trying to break out. In a split second I had been labeled, "A 60 Day'er". Segregated from the "regular" people. Discriminated against for my free membership. I walked away feeling shunned and found a circular in an abandoned cart. There was nothing in it that interested me. I have no idea why the woman needed to make a big deal out of a little piece of paper.

Beautiful Moon

Yesterday afternoon I was in my backyard and saw the beginning of a beautiful sunset. The sky was bright orange and the air was crisp and cool. As I looked to the left, I saw the moon. A bright yellow full moon. It was then that I realized that a full month had passed since the storm. Twenty eight days on the calendar but a lifetime for many. Last month the full moon brought devastation. This month is brought only beauty.

Marketing and Produce

When I was a child, I used to go to the supermarket with my mother. We walked there, pulling a small metal shopping cart behind us. Those were the days when most moms did not drive. The shopping cart was our set of wheels. Once we arrived at the store, the first aisle we went down was the produce aisle. There were stacks of kelly green paper bags next to each bin of fruits and vegetables. You filled the bags with your fresh produce and continued to shop. I can still remember what the aisle smelled like from the mix of paper and fruits. Last night I received an email from one of my doctors. It started off like this..."I do not want to do marketing and was not hired here to produce". Those two words jumped off the screen. Marketing and Produce. Over fifty years the meaning of those words has changed as much as our society has changed, but in reality the meaning never changed. When I was a kid, my mother did marketing to put food on our table. Nowadays young moms still do marketing to put food on the table, but now it is done from an office and on a computer screen. The only produce they are really interested in is the business numbers that their marketing has produced.

Chessed Dollars

I was in Sheepshead Bay yesterday shopping in the local stores. Much of this area is now Russian and it is quite apparent that there is a cultural difference. The stores are stocked with Russian brands and most of the signs are also in Russian. I love cultural diversity and the new foods that I have tried are very good. As I was checking out at one of the fruit stands, I saw a sign that said, "We accept Chessed Dollars". I had no idea what that meant so I asked the cashier. In broken English, she said "For Jewish people". I said, "Is that Russian money?" and she replied again, "For Jewish people".  I did not ask anything further because I knew I would get the same answer. Instead I went home and looked on the internet. It seems that Chessed Dollars are like gift certificate dollars that are bought through local Yeshivas. You buy the money and when you use it in a store, the store gives a percentage back to the Yeshiva as a donation. Yeshivas require you to purchase this money, sometimes thousands of dollars of it, but in the past no stores really accepted it. By accepting these dollars, the store owners are steering people to their stores and away from the other stores that do not accept the money. It is a convoluted plan that really only works in the Yeshiva's favor. I hope that next time I go to Brooklyn, I am not required to pay in Disney Dollars.

Brooklyn Bound

This morning my sister and I are going to Brooklyn to check my parent's house. We have not been there since the storm and heard from a neighbor that a few shingles had flown off the roof. We are hoping that is all of the damage and that the inside of the house is still okay. My parents house is a brick row house that was built in the 1930's. They really knew how to build houses in those days. Cement walls, parquet floors and rounded doorways. The original windows had blocks of stained glass. In the 1960's, people decided that stained glass was old fashioned so they replaced it with clear glass. Most people threw the old glass away but my father kept it and now I have it. One day I will frame it and hang it like a picture. So, off we go hoping to find the house safe and sound.

The Masses

My father has an expression, "The masses are the a**es". Today, more so than any other day of the year, it holds true. Today is Black Friday. It comes after Grey Thursday. These days represent the beginning of the holiday shopping season. Years ago, shoppers began their "quest for gifts" the Friday after Thanksgiving, at 9am. Then the retailers moved it up to 4am. Then midnight. This year the greed has multiplied and Friday, started on Thursday. The funny thing is that shoppers are like sheep being led to the slaughter. Many people cut their holiday short and showed up like zombies to the mall. I believe in discounts and sales, but I believe in family more. Employees are asked, no, made, to work on a holiday that otherwise would be spent enjoying family, food and possibly football. I think this is a disgrace. My son told me that when he came home from work last night at midnight, the cars lined up at the mall exit extended two miles back. I just do not get how people let business dictate their behavior. Let's hope that next year the public is not asked to show up on Thanksgiving Day at 2pm, naked. I bet a few people would actually do it.

Happy Thanksgiving 2012

Happy Thanksgiving! For some of us on the East Coast, it will be a harder holiday than most. Although we all weathered the storm last month, some people are still living the nightmare. They are no longer living in their own homes and have lost most of their possessions. One of my good friends, with his wife and three small children, is now living in a third family member's home. That cannot be easy. Each day he comes to work with a positive attitude and moves one step closer to going back to a normal life. We are all thankful in our own way, but this year there are many levels of happiness. I am thankful for my family, my health, my home and my job. Others are thankful for their family, their health and their job. Some are thankful for their family and their health. The ones that were most affected by the storm realize that the most important things cannot be purchased. You carry your most valued possessions within your heart. I wish everyone a good day and hope that each day brings us closer to peace and happiness.

Party Planning

Yesterday, the topic reared its ugly head. The dreaded topic of the annual holiday party. I am not a grinch, by any means. I just don't like holiday work parties. We had to decide between a lesser of three evils. A cocktail party at my boss' house, a lunch in a nearby restaurant or a pot luck luncheon. We decided on the pot luck lunch. It is just easier to bring food in and have it during work hours. I work with a great group of people but they seem more interesting as "floating atoms". They float in and out of the main office and we talk for 30 seconds at a time. That works for me. When I have to sit across from them for a two hour span, I realize that no one has anything in common. Awkward. I tried to set the party date on a week I will likely be in Massachusetts for my grandchild's birth but they would not allow that. They made the date around my schedule!

Due Diligence

Due diligence means doing your homework. Finding out information prior to completing an act. Unfortunately in this day and age due diligence is required when you use the internet. Most unauthorized emails go to our spam box, but some make it to the inbox. Sometimes the scam emails look like they are from trusted sites but you need to look closer. I always check the email address where to mail was sent from. If the email looks like a Verizon email but the return address was mail@verizon1.co.com..... Scam. Every email carrier has a system to view the "header" of an email so you can see the IP address and exactly where it is from. Most people are never told that. Many times in work my boss has asked me to respond to an email that looks important and when I check further, it is from a scammer. No matter how many times I tell her how to check, she still thinks the emails are real. I have become the email police. I would rather it that way though, since mopping up the mess after a problem is so much harder.

Thumbs Up

Lately, wherever I go, I see an icon of a closed hand with its thumb up. I see it on TV, in print ads and on the internet. It is the new international sign for liking something. It seems that the world has become very insecure and needs constant reassurance that it is liked. I have no idea what relevance liking something  is about. Is it intended to sway people's opinions? Is it to show popularity? I think that we need another option. I want a "dislike" symbol. It should also be a closed hand with one finger up. In the dislike symbol, the only finger standing should be the middle one. Then we would have a clear idea of what is not only liked, but also disliked. I hate for things to be one sided.

Pen Pals

Every morning I open up my emails. I have a few different email accounts. Some are personal and others are business. I seem to have the same friends writing to me on each account. Certain days I wake up to over 30 emails. I go to the inbox to look at the list of pen pals. Every day they are the same: Toys r Us, Babies r Us, Old Navy, Vista Prints, Tiffany's, Amazon and Staples, just to name a few. I feel so popular because all of my friends invite me to come to see them. Not only invite, but entice. Each one promises me that if I come to see them they will treat me very special. Most times I decline the invitation by checking the delete box but these friends are very loyal. They are back again within hours inviting me to come over. They never get insulted. Occasionally I do visit them and then they always send a thank you email rewarding me for the visit. Email friends have wonderful social skills.

The Lost Month

I feel like I have lost the month of November. For the first two weeks, I was in a daze due to the storm. I had no idea what day it was nor did I care. I missed a friend's birthday and now feel awkward mentioning it. My birthday comes up next month and I would rather stop the gift giving. If I say I forgot, then I need to back it up with a belated gift. I am too old to be creative in my gift giving. I give my family money. I can't do that with a friend. If I just do not mention it at all, I will be embarrassed if she still gives me a gift next month on my birthday. I think I still have to ponder what to do.  I cannot believe that this Thursday is Thanksgiving. My frozen turkey is resting in my freezer until Monday when I will start the defrosting process. I am looking very forward to Thanksgiving as it is my favorite holiday. I just can't believe it snuck up on me so fast. After Thursday, I will begin the baby countdown. I am packed and ready to go. The only thing I need to do now is screw my head back onto my shoulders.

Gift of Music

One of the owners of the office I work for has been sick for a long time. He is an elderly man and has had a few strokes over the past years. As much as his wife tries to keep her household normal, there comes a time when you have to face reality. This week she realized that he can no longer sleep in a regular bed and needs an electric hospital bed. The only problem was that she now needs to rearrange her living room furniture to accommodate the bed. The only place it will fit is where a beautiful organ was. I was never aware of either of them playing the organ but it was a beautiful piece of furniture. I started making calls to see where I could donate the organ. I called a few places that did not accept furniture donations. I called the Salvation Army and was told that all of their trucks were delivering relief goods due to Hurricane Sandy and that no pick up trucks would be available for at least two weeks. Then I got bright idea. I would call the local high school and ask them if they would like the organ. I called the main office and asked for the music department. The secretary said she would take a message for the music director. I started to tell her my message..."This is Susan from Dr. N's office and I would like to donate an organ to the school". She said "Why are you calling here, this isn't a hospital". I said I knew it was a school and I though it would be nice to donate the organ to them. Then she laughed and said, "I thought you meant a kidney or liver. You said you were from a doctor's office and wanted to donate an organ." We both laughed and she said she would forward the message.

The Gas Man

One of my patients told me a story about her experience during the hurricane. She was laughing as she told me but like any "war story", it was upsetting at the time. After the storm, for the first time in about twenty years, there were gas lines. Part of the reason for the lines was insecurity. People did not know when gas would be readily available and that made them wait on the lines just to have their tanks on full. This woman is 87 years old and still drives. Her son came to see her from Connecticut and waited on a gas line for 2 hours to fill up his mother's car. He did not want to subject her to the long wait. A day later when she went to her car, she saw her gas cap pried open. When she turned the car on her gas gauge was on empty. Someone had siphoned her gas from tank. She had no other choice than to get on a gas line and hope the car did not conk out while she waited for gas. She waited 3 hours and filled up. When she got home she wrote a sign and taped it to her gas cap. It said "Don't even bother, I am empty. Someone got to me first".

33,45,78

Anyone that is over fifty years old knows what these numbers represent. These are the speeds of a record player.Not a dvd or dvr or cd. An old fashioned record player.The ones that played different sizes and colors of records. I had small records that were red, orange and yellow. The larger records were only black. Some were thicker than others. The small ones played at the 78 speed. The thin large ones played on 45 and the thick large ones played at 33. We used to have fun playing the 33 record at 78 speed and hearing the music sound like a munchkin. Then we played the 78 records at 33 and they sounded like slow motion. We thought this was so funny and couldn't stop laughing. The simple things made us laugh in those days. As get older, I am realizing that I used to move like a 78, now I move like a 45 and before I know it, I will move like a 33.

Black And White

They say that dreams are our subconscious thoughts. There are many ways to interpret them. Last night I had a dream that my hair was parted in the middle and one half was black and one half was white. I looked like a walking black and white cookie. People were staring at me but I didn't think I looked odd. When I got up, I tried to figure out what the dream meant. I am a person that does not see things as black and white. I see all shades of grey. Nothing is rigid and I go with the flow. That is the irony of my dream.

Things I Learned

After fourteen days I have my electric back. As I was sitting reading my Tiffany's catalog at 5pm last night, my world lit up. The television resumed playing and the familiar tune of Windows booting up played. For a moment I was stunned. I had not seen my house clearly for 2 weeks. Everything had been muted by the glow of a flashlight. It took a few moments to acclimate to the brightness. I scurried around putting things back into their place, trying to recreate some normalcy. When I finally sat down, I thought about the last two weeks. I realized that I learned a life lesson. Here is what I learned:

• Family is the most important thing on earth
• Television is not that important
• Reading is fun
• I can live for two weeks without cooking hot food 
• Crying relieves tension
• Shelby keeps me warm at night
• We can all survive, even if it is hard
• Home Depot and the Public Library are user friendly

I do not think I will ever forget this blackout. It has changed me forever. I am a more humbled person who will never take even the smallest things for granted.

Happy Birthday and Veteran's Day

Today is a special day for two reasons. First, it is my daughter-in-law's 30th birthday. I met her when she was 19 and have loved her as my own since then. In a few weeks she will be giving birth to my first grandchild. I have watched her grow from a capable teenager to a sophisticated woman. She is one of the most sensible girls I know. Always has been. She is the perfect mate for my son. The second thing that makes this a special day is Veteran's Day. It is a day to remember all of our war veterans who fought so bravely for our country. Some of them were thanked in great ways but some of them were not. That should never have  happened. I wish a happy, healthy, beautiful day to all of our servicemen and women and a special day to JMS.

Adjusting

Human nature is to adjust to uncomfortable situations. After 13 days and counting, I have adjusted to no heat and so has Shelby. I might even enter him in the Iditirod races in Alaska. Thanks to the snow, I have better refrigeration and thanks to a heat wave, I am warmer. Today I am hunting down butane canisters so I can continue to cook on a gas camping burner. I am still on a borrowed computer and am thankful for it. I will "keep on trucking" and hopefully have lights soon.

Long Hair And A Short Memory

There is a saying that people have long hair and short memories. I guess that is a survival skill. I look forward to the short memory part as I am still freezing in the dark. Everyone that has had their power restored has forgotten about the others. Life has resumed as normal for them. I am sitting at a borrowed computer, not knowing if I will be able to write this blog tomorrow or the next day. That all depends on LIPA, my power company. To me LIPA now stands for LittleInformationPureApathy. I wonder if LIPA's CEO has power. I bet if he lived in my 40 degree house for one night, I would have power the next.

What Have We Done

What have we done to deserve our current situation? If Hurricane Sandy was not bad enough, next came the gas shortage. Now that the gas shortage seems to be easing, a Nor'easter with 6 inches of snow has fallen. People that finally had their lights restored have lost them again. Now those people go to the back of the line as far as having their power restored again. I feel like a vagabond. A beggar. I beg for light. I beg for heat. I beg for gas. I beg for warm food. I beg for the safety of my family. It has all become so disheartining. I cry every day. I just want normalcy. I want to go back to my own house and resume pre-Sandy life. Other's have it worse and I feel for them. Right now I can barely feel for myself.

No More Storms

It is day 10 without lights and now a Nor'Easter storm is approaching. I hope and pray that no more power outages will occur from it. There are still 200,000 people in Nassau County without lights and nerves are frayed. LIPA is running around like a chicken without a head trying to figure things out. I wish I could see what their strategy was and tweek it a bit. Obviously it is not a good one. My sister has power so at least I have a safe haven to go to. I am still so out of sorts and desperately need to go back to normalcy. Maybe soon......

Still Freezing

I am mad as hell and I won't take it anymore. Just like in the movie "Network" I am tired of bureaucracy. I know there was massive damage but 8 days without power is just too much. Last year in the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, plans to avoid another disaster should have been made. The politicians had well over a year to brainstorm ideas. Today is Election Day and I am voting out every incumbent politician. Every one. I want a clean slate of people with fresh ideas who are not yet corrupt. I think our political system needs a shake up. Fresh blood. People that are still "one of us" and not yet "one of them". Out with the old and in with the new.

I Am Back

After a very long week I have finally found a computer to write this blog. The devastation of Superstorm Sandy is unimaginable. Lives lost, homes swept away and people still without lights and heat. I hope to have lights and heat back by Wednesday. It has been a hard week and many lessons were learned. I will write about them for the next few blogs, if I am able to get to a computer. I learned I am strong in some ways and weak in other ways. I learned that people,  by nature are good and bad. I learned that human nature is to survive. I pray for those who lost family and homes and I thank G-d for only taking away my lights and heat.

Superstorm Sandy October 30-November 4

No lights, no heat, no telephone, no hot water, no stove to cook on. I was not able to write this blog for most of the storm as I had no computer access. Once I was back in work I could write from there. I usually write my blog at home as soon as I get up and I felt bad not doing it. Things are back on track now!

Where's Shelby?

Flashlights. Check. Batteries. Check. Food. Check. Lawn furniture in. Check. Shelby. Shelby. Where is Shelby? I am sitting here anxiously awaiting 8am, so I can call the vet and make sure they are open. I boarded Shelby for a few days when I went to Massachusetts and he is still there. The vet does not release the dogs on Sundays, so I could not get him last night. I hear the hurricane winds brewing and all I can think of is getting Shelby home. He is like a child and is scared of winds. There is no one there to hug and comfort him. That is my job. Twenty six minutes and counting. I want Shelby! Update: Shelby is home, safe and sound!!

Heading Home

We just got up and after breakfast we will head on home. As usual, we had the best weekend. Good food and great conversation. The next time I come here will be on the spur of the moment. The timing will not be up to me. It will be up to my  tiny unborn grandchild. It is funny how a tiny baby has the ability to rule our schedules. The baby has more possessions than most people and has no idea how many people are patiently waiting to hold him/her. Lucky kid.

The Stars Aligned

This is my family weekend away in Boston. Two cars were heading north at different times hoping to meet up at a common point for dinner. One car left at 9 am when traffic was light. The other car left at 2 pm heading into traffic. I did not think it looked good that we would be able to meet by 6 pm but hoped for the best. I wanted to start off my "Baby Weekend" on a high note with a casual dinner with both my son's and daughter-in-laws. At 5:30 pm I was in Massachusetts and my son was in Connecticut. It wasn't looking good. I hoped and hoped and miraculously the roads opened up. We all arrived within 10 minutes of each other and had a wonderful time. Life is good!

Baby Caravan

I hardly slept last night. I am so excited for today. In just a bit I will carpool my daughter-in-law to work so my son can pick her up in the afternoon and head straight to Massachusetts. I will be leaving at 9am with my husband and sister. This is the Baby Shower Weekend. I haven't seen my older daughter-in-law in weeks and by now she will look very different. She is one week away from her ninth month. This will be a  happy weekend spent with our extended family. Now it seems real. I will see the baby's room all set up and help to bring the shower gifts into the house. I feel like a little kid, all excited!

Eyes

There is a saying that our eyes are the windows to the world. It makes sense since we look out through our eyes. In reality, our eyes were only intended to look out. Most people love to look at other people and judge what they do, what they say and how they look. Imagine if G-d made our eyes facing inward. We would have to look at ourselves from the outside in and see what others see. We would have the ability to judge ourselves impartially. That would be a hard task to do on a daily basis.  Only then, would our eyes truly be opened.

Rest In Peace

I find it very hard to write this blog. In fact, I find the subject so upsetting that I was going to avoid it. Within 5 days, two Nassau County Police officers have been killed. One was hit by a drunk driver as he was attending to an accident scene on the Long Island Expressway. The other was shot point blank after stopping a suspect in a hit and run accident. The officers were 43 and 29 years old. In the prime of their lives until 2 morons took their lives away. I cannot fathom the sorrow that their families are feeling. I did not know them and my heart is breaking. I cannot get their smiling faces out of my mind. I try to rationalize it by saying they are with G-d now and in a better place and that G-d takes you on his schedule, not ours. It make me think that most of our days are spent dwelling on nonsense and minutia. I pray for Officer Olivieri and Office Lopez. Rest in peace. It's funny, we all want to go to heaven but why do we have to die to get there?

Safe And Sound

The journey is over. The "kidz" as my sister and I refer to them, have arrived at their Florida home. I give them credit for being able to take that long trip alone. As soon as they arrived in Florida they felt energized. They drove down the Turnpike for about 4 hours and then brought about half of their luggage into their house. They changed their clothes and went out to dinner with friends. By the time I called them in the evening, they were having a great time eating rocky road ice cream at The Golden Corral. Does life get better?

The Last Leg

I am waiting until 8am to call my parents and see how their night on the auto-train went. When we spoke last night, they were just finishing their dinner. Since they reserve a bedroom, their dinner is brought to them. The menu was salad, rolls, grilled salmon with lobster sauce, potato, vegetable, peach melba and wine. My mother opted for chicken nuggets and mac and cheese since she is not a big fan of lobster sauces. Both meals were delicious and you could hear the happiness as we spoke. They were debating on whether or not to watch a movie. The porter was coming at 11pm to "turn down their beds". Traveling this way is not cheap,   but at this point in their lives it is the only way to go. At about 10 am the train unloads and they start the last leg of their trip, a four hour drive to south Florida. They will be tired for a few days, but not the type of tired they were in New York. A good tired.

Part Deux

Today starts the second leg of my parent's trip south. I have to give them a lot of credit. At 89 and 88 years old they still have the stamina to drive to Virginia, take an 18 hour train ride and then continue driving 4 hours till their destination. I am getting tired even thinking about it. The first part of their trip went wonderfully and they are resting in a hotel, as I write. I guess when you have something great to look forward to at the end of your journey, it makes the trip much easier.

Migration

This month begins the great migration south. It is not a bird migration. It is a people migration. New Yorkers are flying and driving down to Florida in droves. They have spent a wonderful Spring, Summer and early Autumn visiting their children and now it is time to go back to an easier way of life. It is sleep away camp in reverse. There is sunshine and warmth. There are shows and trips and activities. Friends that you have not seen for months eagerly await your arrival. It is a well deserved quality of life. Packing up is the hard part but it will be well worth it when they enter the Sunshine State.

Traffic

Yesterday was a terrible day for traffic on Long Island. A police offer was struck down on a major highway while he was helping out motorists that were involved in a car accident. Another driver, who was drunk, sped by the accident scene and killed the officer. This is a police officer's families nightmare. I am still so upset just thinking about it and pray for the officer's family. Most of our patients missed their appointments because they were sitting on other roadways at a standstill. Traffic was rerouted all over the place. When people called frantically apologizing about the missed visits, I told them to put things into perspective. At the end of the day, they were going home to their loved ones. There is a family on Long Island that will never have that blessing again.

Flu Shot

I had my yearly physical yesterday. I thought it had only been six months since I was at the doctor but I guess the year just flew by. The only reason I made the appointment was to get my flu shot. Nothing changed healthwise. The only difference was that my doctor's office had become more cluttered. He had files lining the walls, almost three feet high.When he sat behind his desk, all I could see was the tip of his head. He took blood, did x-rays and a pulmonary function test. I hate that test. By the time I am done puffing, I feel faint. I had to fill out paperwork for the flu shot. To be quite honest, I never read what I was signing. I think I might have signed up for a timeshare. I had to check off that I am not allergic to eggs. I guess all good recipes are made with eggs. This morning I have a black and blue vein and an arm that aches. Maybe I should see a doctor.

The Long Way Home

I was driving home from work yesterday afternoon when the parkway came to a sudden stop. I realized that this was the road that led to Hofstra University, the location of the second Presidential Debate. I got off at the first exit and started to navigate my way home. I had never gotten off at this exit so it was unfamiliar to me. I keep going south and east and eventually got home, although it took 40 minutes for a 15 minute trip. When I went to sleep last night, I had a dream about being lost in an unfamiliar part of Brooklyn. When I reached for my cell phone, the case was empty. I had to ring on doorbells until someone let me use their phone. I guess subconsciously I was reliving being lost and having to take the long way home.

No Manners

Last week was the Vice Presidential Debate. It amazed me to see our current Vice President acting like a fool. In my opinion, our Vice President is a bit of a dunce. I love the word dunce. It is a cross between fool, clown and village idiot. I found myself watching him instead of listening to him. I guess if he had anything bright to say I would have been more focused. He grinned, giggled, smirked and interrupted. I think he needed a time out. He was rude and annoying. His opponent looked at him the way a teacher looks at an unruly child. You understand his limitations, but you still have the urge to slap him silly. It boggles my mind to think that this man is second in command. Shelby has more manners and I think more common sense.

Postcards

I went to my parent's house yesterday to help them sort things out before their trip back to Florida next week. Their basement is a treasure chest of assorted items. Big, small, old, older and nostalgic, they have it all. A personal family museum. You never know what special find you will uncover. Yesterday, I hit a jackpot. My father took out a box of old postcards. Some of them were lithography type cards and some of them cards from old hotels. They dated back as far as 1906. While rifling through them, I came across a few special ones. They were postcards that were written by my grandmother to my father, when my grandparents were in Florida in the 1950's. I had never seen her handwriting and never knew that she wrote in English. My grandfather only wrote in Yiddish. Each card asked how the children were and told about the good time they were having. I took a few of them home. I now have another bit of family history and will cherish it forever.

Little Details

Last night I went to one of my favorite seafood restaurants. I probably will not be going there too much anymore. When I opened the menu, I saw that the prices had skyrocketed. The meal that used to be $10 was now $15. I have my limit for what I think is a fair price for anything and these prices are beginning to exceed that. We had a nice waitress but she was not paying attention to what we asked for. I asked for water with lemon. The water arrived without lemon. I asked for the lemon to be brought to me. Still no lemon. When I ordered my food, I asked for tartar sauce. The meal arrived without tartar sauce. I asked for it to be brought to me. After 5 minutes there was still no lemon and tartar sauce. She breezed by and said, "Oh, you need lemon and tartar sauce". After five minutes more it still had not arrived. Finally, I asked an unknown person wearing a white shirt and black pants. For all I know he was a customer, but he did bring me what I needed. At the end of the meal I had 20 tiny shrimp leftover. I lined them up in a row of 4 x 5, for no other reason than boredom. I asked for a take home box and when the waitress came over she said she would put it into the box for me. As she lifted the plate I said, "Could you please put the shrimp into the box in the exact order that I have them lined up in". She froze and looked petrified as the shrimp slid haphazardly into the box. After a second I said that I was only joking but bringing me lemon was a much easier request and should have been done an hour ago.

Trust

Trust comes in two forms. One is emotional and the other is monetary. The first type of trust means you have faith in someone or something. You feel confident that your judgement is good and you do not have to second guess the person or situation. The second type of trust means you do not really trust in the person or situation. That is the monetary one. There are a few kinds of trusts. One kind is when you put money away for an underage person. Sometimes they cannot have access to it until they are 21. Sometimes the age of access is 30 or over. What you are saying is that the money that legally belongs or will belong to someone is not readily theirs because you do not trust their judgement. With the elderly population they have the choice of two types of trusts. Each type has benefits. In this case, people are not trusting that the government will be fair when they are gone. They do not trust that outsiders will have their best interests at heart so they lock up their money in a trust. Trust is a word that has two meanings on opposite ends of the spectrum.

Marking the Years

I mark the years by two milestones. The day my sprinkler system is drained and the day I have my taxes done. I see the two men who provide these services once a year. Somehow the years are flying by faster and faster. As each one arrives, we say the same thing. "Wow, can you believe it's been another year?" These men started coming to my house when my children were babies. They watched them go from high chairs to husbands. They have seen a golden retriever brought into the house as a puppy and put to sleep fourteen years later. They now see Shelby growing. The funny thing is that we never see the changes in ourselves. I still have the frame of mind that these men are thirty years old and I am in my twenties.

Not Me

I handle almost every problem in my office. Sometimes patients demand to speak to the director. I had this request yesterday. One patient's father seemed to have "forgotten" that I told him his daughter's visits were not covered by insurance. She had no out of network benefits when she started so it did not matter. Somewhere along the way he decided to change benefits and never notified me.  He called me in a very agitated state when his insurance denied the claim. I explained to him that it was his responsibility to notify me of any changes. He got angrier and angrier and finally asked to talk to the director. I took a message for her. When I let her know that this man was expecting her call, she looked at me with fear in her eyes and said she would not call him. She doesn't like confrontation. I would think that a psychologist would know how to handle that. Now the problem is back in my court and I need to calm down a very upset man. I think I will offer him some sort of refund. I think that a bit of money can easily solve the problem.

Sock It To Me

Since last May, I have gone sock-less. I love the free feeling of slipping my bare feet into my shoes.Today I realized that summer is officially over and winter is just a few breaths away. Today I am wearing socks. I tried as hard as I could to stretch out the inevitable, but my time ran out. After spending the last few days shivering with ice cold feet, I was forced to give in. Now that the socks have arrived, can the boots be far behind?

Out Of ConTEXT

People have always had disagreements. That is human nature. If you had a problem that needed to be ironed out, people would sit down and talk about it or speak on the phone. Sometimes the problem was solved, sometimes it was not, but at least you looked the person in the eye or heard their voice, to know what they really meant. Nowadays people argue via text message. The term "text war" was added into our vocabulary. I think that more things can be misconstrued when the words are written but the tone is not heard. Without the tone, the intent is not there. I can say, "What's the matter" in a soft tone and seem caring and kind. I can say, "What's the matter" in a gruff and nasty tone and seem argumentative. When you read words instead of hearing them, the interpretation is left up to the reader. That is dangerous.

Happy Columbus Day

Today America was discovered. In reality it was never lost. It was always here, content to be left alone and unnamed. Human nature has us seeking more out of life and Columbus was sent to explore. He sailed fairly aimlessly and expected to fall off the face of the earth. A kamikaze voyager. He never got to the edge and instead found the land he named America. Unfortunately, his gain was the Indians loss. They had no idea they were "Indians" until he came. Once he arrived, their lives went downhill. He brought along disease and violence, but as my mother-in-law used to say, "That's water over the bridge". Many years later, the Indians finally got their revenge. They opened up casinos and are taking back the white man's wampum. Happy Columbus Day!

Bed And Breakfast

This morning is a first. For the first time in 32 years, my parents slept over. It was too late for them to travel home last night and my sister already had a house guest so the "reservations" were switched to my house. I tried to make the accommodations comfortable and since my house guests are still asleep, I think I did well. I have prepared a "country breakfast" as they like to call it, jokingly. There are bagels and lox, various cheeses, coffee, juice and I will even offer eggs if they desire. I want the return business so the first impression is important. I feel like I have two guests of honor and will treat them accordingly.

Getting Together

I woke up to a sunny and warm autumn day. I am glad the weather is beautiful because we have a special event planned. Today we will expand our family and meet my nephew's new family. His future wife is a wonderful girl. Her family planned this day for the grandparents and aunts and uncles to meet and get to know each other. It is a nice thought, that we will be meeting people who will be a part of our lives from this day on. By chance, I know my future niece's grandfather from the neighborhood and he is a nice man. I am sure the rest of his family is just as nice. After today, the wedding plans will begin and it will be an exciting year. We are glad to be expanding the family. The more, the merrier.

Big Talker

Two days ago was the Presidential Debate. It was a much awaited event. The President of the United States has been known for being a great orator. He did not speak up to his full potential at the debate. Or did he. When he gives speeches, he is well rehearsed and well scripted. He has a strong presence. The problem is, that a debate is off the cuff and non scripted. When he ran four years ago, his answers at the debate always came back to the word "change". Whatever the other candidate said, had the rebuttal of  "America needs a change". There was not much fact or planning, just the general word "change". This time around is a different story. After four years there has been a change. Too bad it is for the worse. While the President was at the podium he looked lost and ill prepared. He did not have a teleprompter to guide him. He was out on his own for all the world to see. He was transparent and there was nothing to hide behind. America does need a change. A change of President.

Figure It Out

Last week I purchased a gift for a friend. A few days later the item went on sale so I decided to go back to the store and have my account credited for the difference. I have every store receipt for items going back to 1980 but for some reason I could not locate this one. Murphy's Law. I know that this store can backtrack through the credit card so I knew there would be no problem. That would have been the case had the customer service girls not been lazy. When I got up to the counter and explained that I did not have the receipt for the gift, they asked me if I had the gift with me. I said I did not. Then they asked for the receipt again and I said I still did not have it. Then they looked so puzzled. They said they could not do anything without the item. Now it became my responsibility to teach the girls their job. I explained to them in short clear sentences how to look up the item, get the SKU number, slide my credit card and voila, the purchase appeared on their register screen. They were able to credit back the correct amount. As far as I know, I have never been employed at Bed, Bath and Beyond, but I knew how to do a price adjustment. It is not because I am so smart...or bright...but because I used common sense and deductive reasoning. I guess this skill was not taught in their training.

Bump It Up

I was sitting in traffic yesterday and ahead of me was a fairly new car. Attached to its bumper was a sticker. Having a bumper sticker is a personal preference. Some people just have the need to announce their dogs, cats, religions and stupidity. I prefer to keep mine anonymous. If you have to have your life on the back of your car, at least put it on straight. What's up with the crooked bumper stickers. Is the person's head tilted when they slap it on, so it looks straight. Some of them are so off centered that they almost look verticle. When I see a sticker like that I do not focus on what is written on it, I focus on what is not. To me it says, "I am sloppy and do not pay attention to detail".

Repairs

For the past month, the parking garage at my office building has been under repair. The building is about 30 years old and the lot has been needing repairs since I starting working there. It is a two tier concrete lot that obviously was not built properly. An indoor lot should shelter you from the elements. This lot never did. When it is raining outside, it is raining in the lot. Not just drops but buckets. I guess when the lot was erected, no one bothered to close the seals. Everyday, all day, we hear jack hammers, grinding and banging. Some days the noise is unbearable. Hopefully when it is done, it will be what it was intended to be 30 years ago..... an indoor lot.

Under New Management

Under New Management. Three words that can either bring a smile to your face or a pain to your stomach. When new management appears, everyone is shaken up. A new manager needs to prove himself and comes up with many new ideas. Most of the time they are less efficient than the old ones, but employees have no choice. They need to grin and bear it. Unless your old boss was a horror, getting used to a new one is not a walk in the park. The reason why I will never leave my job is because I am the manager and I am too old and too tired to be managed by anyone else.

Spic N Span

I have a few good casserole dishes that I have used for years. Over time, after years of baking various foods in them, they have become a bit stained. I have tried to remove the stains by normal scrubbing but they are not only ground in, but also baked in. A few weeks ago I was invited to a party and brought along a cooked dish, in one of my casseroles. When it came time to leave, the hostess reminded me to take my baking dish home. When I went into the kitchen to retrieve it, I didn't recognize it. It was spotless. She must have scrubbed it very, very, very vigorously to get the stains out. No matter how hard I had ever tried, they never came out. She must have thought that the stains were fresh and was embarrassed to have me take home a dirty dish. The next time I go there I will bring a different dish until all of my casseroles look like new.

Eighty Nine and Feeling Fine!

Today is my father's birthday. He is eight nine years old. I am blessed to have two parents that are healthy and happy. I forget how old they actually are because of how they live their lives. They do everything on their own without any assistance. They shop at the mall, eat dinner out and have even added a weekly trip to the new casino to their repertoire. Truth be told, they have more energy than I do. When we go to weddings, they do not want me to drive them because they think I leave to go home too early.They like to stay until the music stops. I think leaving after the coffee is served is sufficient. My sister and I refer to them as the "kidz", spelled with a z at the end. It just seems cuter that way. It makes me laugh when my parents say that they do not like to be around old people. I ask them, "How much older can someone be if you are 89"? That has become a running joke. I hope to be celebrating at least another ten birthdays with my parents. That's not asking for too much. 

Have It Your Way

Burger King used to use the slogan, "Have It Your Way". For the past few weeks I have been having a running argument with one of my patients regarding how he pays his bill. We are a time of service office and that means you pay us the day you have your appointment. When we see our patients on an intensive level (many hours a day, a few days a week), we collect in advance, in two week sessions. This patient has children that are seen four times a week. When I asked for payment in advance, he said it was too confusing. Then I asked for daily payment and he said it was too confusing. I asked him to pay with credit card and he said it was too confusing. I asked him to pay with a check and he said that no one uses paper checks anymore so that was not an option. I informed him that the majority of patients use paper checks. He said that was too confusing. I asked him to pay with cash and he said that was too confusing. I asked him what he felt would not be too confusing. His option was for his children to come here for a month, then fax the bill to him and he would go online to pay it and we would receive it a week later. That means we would always be five weeks behind in payment. I informed him that would be too confusing and if he is not happy paying daily, go somewhere else.

Clarity

Most misunderstandings between people arise because no one is clear on what is going on. In work or in a relationship, the expectations of each situation need to be clear in order for there to be harmony. I guess that is why contracts exist. Even then, if every point is not detailed, things go awry. This is happening in my office right now. One of the young doctors signed a contract that says she will spend "some of her time" doing marketing and media. Her understanding of the word "some time" is about 5 hours a week. The director's understanding of "some time" is every waking moment. No one is happy and the tension can be felt by everyone. I advised the doctor to sit down with the director and outline point by point, in writing, what her responsibilities are. Until that happens, there will be two unhappy people.

Yom Kippur

Today is Yom Kippur, the 10th day of Tishrei 5773 in the Jewish calendar. It is a day of atonement. For Jewish people it is the holiest day of the year. I woke up this morning feeling a bit sad. When I went downstairs into my kitchen, I saw the yartzeit candles burning. We lit them last night for our departed family members. Each year as the candles are lit, it reminds us of how precious our families are. Time goes by so quickly and sometimes it is wasted on self made problems. As I look at the candles, I always think of what I would do if I had just one more day with the people that the candles represent. I know for sure it would not be wasted on senseless issues.

The Middleman

I think the phrase "middle age" came about from being caught between people that are younger and older than I am. Not only caught in the middle age wise but also thought wise. I like to think that I am a sensible person. Somehow my sensibilities differ from the people that are on the opposite ends of the age spectrum. The younger generation thinks that I am too uptight and need to relax my ways of thinking. They feel this way because they are young and have not had enough experiences to teach them otherwise. I understand that. The older generation thinks I am uptight and need to relax my ways of thinking. They feel this way because they have lived through more experiences than I have and have become rebels in their own way. I do not want to say that they are too old to care. They are just older and wiser and have seen too much to have unimportant things bother them. They save their energy for what really matters. As for me, I am happy being the filling of the cookie.

The Dictionary

I am a paper person. I love books. The real kind, made of paper pages and not plastic screens. I like to turn the actual page and not just rub my finger across a screen. I like to take books out from the library and not download them from thin air. When I need to spell a word correctly, I still use my 1980 Webster's Dictionary with the faded yellow pages. Many words that are common now are not even listed in the book, but the ones I need to clarify are always there. The pages smell like old print and the scent is unmistakable. It brings back fond memories of growing up.Today's generation will not have that experience.

Apple of My Eye

I have always wanted to go apple picking but for some reason or another I never did. Maybe because the orchards are an hour and a half away or maybe because we do not eat a lot of apples. Last weekend when I was in Massachusetts, my daughter-in-law baked an apple crisp from fresh picked apples. Every fall they pick apples and bake pies and crisps. I was determined to go to an orchard at least once in my life. I hate to use the phrase " bucket lis"t because it is so played out so I will use the phrase, "bushel list". My family always had the mindset that if you want apples you go to the store and get them. It only took 30 years to convince them that there is a big difference between apple buying and apple picking. We drove to the orchard, ran through the rows of assorted trees and took pictures to chronicle the event. We had  a "peck of fun".  This week we will bake pies and crisps and literally enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Awakenings

I always get up early in the morning. I guess my body clock is just adjusted that way. Occasionally I feel like sleeping late (7:30am) but for some reason I never do. This morning I was resting in bed at a little before seven and was not going to get up for an hour, or so I thought. At 7am on the dot, my house alarm started ringing. I have 2 sirens in my house and when they go off you can hear the blaring tones for blocks. I jumped out of bed and looked on the alarm box to see which room set off the noise. It said my den was open so I disengaged the sound and went to look. Everything looked fine but I did not open the den door yet. After a few minutes the alarm monitoring company called and he stayed on the line as I opened the den door and found nothing wrong. I guess I am not supposed to sleep late.

Hear Ye

As I am getting older, the people around me are telling me that I am speaking too softly. After months of talking louder, I realized that the reason that I am not being heard is because the people surrounding me are losing their hearing. As hard as it is to believe, my friends are either close to or already in their 60's. This is the age where our bodies change. We coasted along since puberty and now our parts are getting worn. For the past few weeks, I have been telling two people to go to the ear doctor and have their hearing checked as I will no longer repeat myself ten times nor shout. One of them found out that they have a 30% hearing loss and the other found out that there was a wax buildup the size of a marble blocking the ear canal. Finally, I will no longer have to shout and can give my vocal chords a rest.

The Pick Up Man

For as long as I can remember, there have been "pick up" lines. These were used when you wanted to meet someone but had no idea what to say to open up a conversation. Some standards were, "Have you been here before" or "What is your sign", (OK, I am going back to the 1970's). Other lines were situation appropriate depending on if you were in a mall or at a sporting event or at a club. A few days ago I was standing on line in the supermarket behind two men. They were in their mid sixties and looked pretty good for their age. I was close enough to overhear bits of their conversation. One of the men was telling his friend that 2 girls picked him up in the supermarket last week. His friend asked him how old they were and if they were pretty. The next question seemed a bit odd because it involved the store manager. After a few more minutes,  I realized what happened. It seems that the man fell down in the produce aisle and two pretty young girls "picked him up". I guess when you are over sixty, being picked up by someone has a whole new meaning.

Pay Phones

Years ago there was a pay phone on every other block. You could find them in office buildings, train stations and malls. Today they are scarce. I remember when it cost 10 cents to make a phone call. Then it rose to 25 cents. If you spoke for more than your 10 or 25 cents worth, which was three minutes, the phone calculated the overage. When you hung up the phone, it would ring back and an operator would tell you what you owed. Most of us paid the extra money. There were some of us that did not. People would hang up the phone and walk away briskly as the pay phone rang and rang. It was embarrassing if someone was behind you waiting for the phone because then it became their problem. When they picked up the receiver to dial their number, they would find an angry operator on the line demanding money. In those days, we were a more innocent society and were scared of her admonishing us. I would hate to think of how she would be treated today.

Alley Cat

On my way home from work, my favorite radio station played a song that I had not heard in at least 25 years. The song was named "The Alley Cat".  It was all the rage back in the 1960's. It was not only a song, it was also a dance. I have vivid memories of adults and children dressed in our summer peddle pusher pants (now called Capri pants), tapping our toes to this infectious tune. We lined up and pointed our toes and tapped to the right two times, the left two times, back two times on the right, back two times on the left and repeated a similar rotation one more time. The only difference was that at the end of the last toe tap, we clapped our hands and jumped clockwise, only to start over again. The Alley Cat was a predecessor to the electric slide and all other line dances. I found my toes tapping as I drove my car and smiled just thinking about simpler times. OK everyone, get up and try the Alley Cat.

Oreo the Hero

Last December for Chanukah, my daughter-in-law purchased a 14 gallon fish tank for my son. This was something he had always wanted and knew that it was a commitment. He filled the tank with water and added the chemicals needed to neutralize the water and later that week he filled the tank with a few fish. Overnight they died. He went back to the fish store and got clearer instructions and tried again. This time was a success. He bought six fish. Four brightly colored ones and 2 black mollies. One of the mollies had a few white speckles so my son named him Oreo. None of the other fish had names. Everything went along swimmingly (no pun intended) until last week. He cleaned the tank as he had done for the past few months but one fish died. He took a sample of the water to the fish store and they tested it. It had a high nitrate level and the salesman told him how to get the levels back to normal. When he came home, he noticed that one of the black mollies was acting funny. He was hanging around on the bottom and had no strength to swim to the top for air or food. That is when Oreo swung into action. As his friend sank to the bottom, he would swim under him and glide to the top with his friend on his back until the struggling fish gulped some air. Each time the fish slid off of Oreos back he caught him and swam to the top again. We watched for almost one half hour as Oreo valiantly tried to save his buddy's life. Sadly, he could not. We all sat there amazed to think that a tiny fish had the instinct to care for one of his own. Last night Oreo was a hero.

Disconnected Chain

We are still in Massachusetts enjoying our time with our children. Yesterday we purchased baby furniture and it only took 3 stores to complete the deal. All three stores were from the same chain. Each one did not know what the other one had in stock or the other store's guidelines. The store that was furthest away sent us to the store that was closer to my son's house so we could save on the delivery fees since they charge by the mile. When we got to the closer store, they informed us that they do  not deliver and we needed to go back to the first store.We compromised and ordered the items there but had them shipped to the other store for delivery. Next, we had to drive to the third store to pick up the last item. In the end we got everything we needed and had such a good time together, but could have done it more efficiently.

Seeing My Baby

In a few minutes we will be driving on the interstate parkway to see my son and daughter-in-law. When we visit them, we have to coordinate the days as he works a rotating schedule. This is a weekend that is a good one, so off we go. This will be a different type of visit because it involves a new family member, the soon to be born baby. It is a weekend all about him/her. We will purchase furniture and bedding and lots of other goodies. I want to know that each night when he/she gets tucked into bed, his/her grandparents are there with him/her. My children are conservative and it will be hard for them to allow the shopping spree, but they are very appreciative. I cannot believe how much I already love someone I have never met.

Four of A Kind

This morning my sister and I will drive to my parent's house to spend the day with them. We will do errands and take a walk and shop. We planned this day a few weeks ago and when I got up this morning the sunshine started the day off right. I do not even care if there is traffic on the way there. We will still have the best day. The four of us are like a deck of cards. Four of a kind. We are all on the same wave length and being together is just easy.

800 Envelopes

Since my office is having a few workshops, we decided to send out flyers to announce the dates. We have 2 separate organizations, one non-profit and the other one is the regular office. We printed labels from the non-profit database and everyone pitched in to stuff the envelopes. Two flyers were for the non-profit organization and two flyers were for our regular practice. Every staff member sat in the conference room to stuff and seal the envelopes. When I came in the next day, I saw all of the envelopes sitting on my desk. I guess no one wanted to make the long walk outside to put them in the mailbox. For once their laziness paid off. At 7:30am that day, my administrator called frantically. She was sound asleep and abruptly woke up with the thought that we could not use the non-profit mailing list to mail flyers from our regular practice. HIPAA Law says the two needed to be independent of each other. Now we had a real problem. The envelopes were already stamped and over $350 was at stake. My bookkeeper and I had the daunting task of prying open 800 envelopes, taking out the two flyers and resealing each one. It took four hours but we did it. We decided not to tell our director as she was leaving for vacation the next day and it would have upset her. We took one for the team.

Caught in the Middle

I hate bureaucracy. Unfortunately  for the past three months I have been involved in it with my cable and cell phone company. The company has a billing system called "one bill". They should rename it "one big mistake". In July the bill arrived and it was about $100 more than it should be. I called the cell phone division and they said that maybe the cable company didn't credit the cell portion yet and by next month things would be right. The next month the bill was still over by $100. I called again. Each call took about 1 hour. They said they would straighten it out and next month it would be fine. The other day I got the bill and again it was $100 over. I called and spent over two hours on the phone because no one knew how to do a credit. The cable division said the cell division needed to issue a credit. The cell division said that they had a zero balance on the account so there was nothing to credit, that's why the cable one bill people needed to do it. Back and forth on a three way call with me, the cell lady, the cable lady and their supervisors. When the conversation finally ended, everyone agreed that I do not owe the money and the two divisions will need to file a claim on the balance and fight it out between themselves as to how a credit will appear. I am confident that my next bill will be $100 over.

Where Were You?

There are some days that I cannot remember what I ate for breakfast even though it was 3 hours before. There is one day I will never forget. September 11, 2001. I remember vividly where I was and what people said at the moment we all knew that life had changed forever. I was sitting at my desk, at a previous job, when a patient said that there had been a plane crash. We were all upset and did not know at the time that in a few minutes there would be another impact. Even after finding out that two planes crashed into the World Trade Center, we couldn't comprehend how or why. It was surreal. One of the office girls had a nephew who was in one of the towers and she began to frantically cry. My boss, "Dr B", walked into the front office and said, "Oh blah dee, oh blah da, life goes on". That is a lyric from an old Beatle's song. At that moment I lost respect for such a shallow human being. Life may have gone on for him but it stalled for many years for others. My deepest sympathies go out  to every person who lost a loved one that day.

If The Shoe Fits

I love beautiful shoes but as I got older I realized that some shoes were only for looking at, not wearing. When I was 18, I could wear 4" heels. Usually by the end of the day my feet were burning as if I just walked over hot coals. In the past few years I have noticed that the trend on television is for the women to wear high heels that are over the top. Straps, buckles webbing. I could not even imagine who designs these monstrosities. The last time I went shoe shopping, I decided to have some fun and try on a pair of 6" heels, the ones the movie stars wear. I could barely balance myself as I stood up, and walking was not an option. I quickly returned them to the box. Last night as I was watching one of my mindless reality shows, I saw the camera pan to one of the stars feet as she walked in a parking lot in 6" stilettos. Plop. Down she went and sprained her ankle. For some reason I felt validated that even she could not walk in those ridiculous shoes.