Suzy Knows

Suzy knows. For 40 years I have been solving the problems of my husband's coworkers. Last night I got a call from one of his closest work friends. She needed health insurance advice and thought that I would know more than Social Security and the union. I did. She was confused as to why she received a Medicare card a year before she turns 65. She actually got the card a few weeks ago and put it to the side. She saw it yesterday and decided to call me because "Suzy would know what it is about". She got it because she has been on disability for two years and the government has given her Medicare as her primary insurance as of March 2020. I then informed her that the union would enroll her into their managed Medicare plan, so she should expect an Aetna card in the mail. I told her to call the union next week just to make sure they know what to do. By the time I got off the phone, she totally understood her medical benefits. She was so grateful and I was glad to help. Suzy knows.

Frustrated

I am trying to do a project and nature is working against me. Nothing is working out correctly. I cannot find picture albums that I have seen every day for 30 years, They have left their usual spot and are in hiding until they want to be found again. Chemicals that I have mixed to perfection for the past few days are not mixing correctly today. It is as if this project is not destined to be. I am silently being told to abandon the project for now, until it is the correct time to try again.

Surprise Gift

I finished my pendant project and it came out perfect, but I made too much resin mix. I had nowhere to put is as it cannot be dumped down the sink. I grabbed a bangle bracelet mold and poured the extra resin into it, so when it hardens I can pop it out and get rid of it. I looked at the resin and decided to throw something into it to make a design just to test the mold out. I had pure 24K gold sheets that I have used for other projects. They are very delicate to use and fall apart easily. I took a toothpick and slowly submerged a few of them into the mold. Then I kept adding and adding until the mold was completely filled with gold and resin. This morning when I got up, I was surprised. The bracelet is magnificent. It is 24K gold encased in clear resin and looks like gold nugget. I put it on and it fits perfectly. What a great surprise!

The Perfect Piece

I am creating a new piece of jewelry for myself and it needs to be perfect. I know exactly how I want it to look and I am almost there. I just need one more component and that is the hard part. I need a tiny flower. The kind I want are abundant in the summer but here I am, in the beginning of winter, searching for the unicorn flower. I need about 1/8 inch of it and I refuse to buy a dried bouquet for $20 to get the tiny piece I need. I will go from store to store until I see what I need. I will be obsessed until the piece is done.

Roo-teen

I am back to my regular routine, or roo-teen as my sister and I like to joke. This week has flown by. I remember saying that I had ten days off to sleep a bit later. Where did those ten days fly to? I don't remember sleeping late or doing anything that I had planned. I went away for a few days and the other ones just melted into oblivion. Here I am, getting back in the car and driving to Brooklyn to see my father. That part of the routine is the best part.

More Hugs

I woke up this morning looking forward to a few more hugs. Hugs are like food. They fill you up and keep you satisfied. The best hugs are from my granddaughters. As they get older, our bond gets stronger. They feel about me the way I feel about them. That is priceless. Soon we will have our bagel breakfast together. Bagels and pretty girls are the best.

My Gifts

As I get older I am more specific about my wishes. Today Christmas and Hanukkah share the day. All I ask for is health and happiness. Nothing else really matters in the long run.

Shelby Knows

Shelby knows that we are going away this morning. He has a frown on his face and is refusing to eat. He is angry and sad. When he sees a suitcase he knows the jig is up. By now he should be confident that he will be back home in a few days.

7am Laugh

I love to start my day off with a laugh. At least I know that I had a good beginning. Most days it remains upbeat. The good laugh is always with my sister. It can be about any nonsensical thing. This morning it was about me being an eternal optimist. We decided that if I saw a plop of brown "stuff" in front of me, I would say it was chocolate pudding. Most people would say it was a lump of sh*t. In reality it would be sh*t, but I choose to believe it is chocolate pudding. Life is easier for me like that.

Early Drive

I am on my way to get my father and bring him back to Brooklyn. It is very early. His dialysis day changed due to the holiday on Wednesday and we did not want him to miss Hanukkah dinner last night. I do not think I slept a wink last night. Oh, and yes, today is my birthday.

Home Stretch

We are in the holiday home stretch. This weekend officially kicks off the holiday season. Hanukkah begins on Sunday and it is also my birthday. I go away on Tuesday for the mid week holiday celebration. I am looking very forward to that. It will be a relief to see my couch cushions again, as they have been lined with gifts for weeks.

Morning Business

It is 8am. I have already done more paperwork than most people do in a week. I wanted to tie up all loose ends before I leave the house this morning. I have opened accounts, changed passwords, filed claims and paid bills. I want to have a clear head for the holiday season. I love it when I have a blank to do list. I do not know how other people procrastinate. That would drive me crazy.

Visiting Mom

After work today I will visit my mother. Every three months we go to the cemetery to say hello. We go as close to the 20th of the month as we can because she died on the 20th. We will tell her about the family, but she already knows everything. We will look at her name etched in stone and think that is is surreal to see it. We will place rocks on her gravestone and clean any weeds or leaves that we see. I am bringing my own clean rocks as my mother still deserves only the best. It is always cathartic. She is with us every day, but the cemetery gives us a structured place to grieve. We will then go to dinner and be happy, just as she would want us to be.

Nice People

Everywhere I go I meet nice people. Yesterday I had a medical procedure. From the greeter on, each and every person was wonderful. The office was well run. I was taken early and the doctor had the best bedside manner. As I left, I thanked each staff member for being so kind. They said that no one ever tells them how good of a job they do. A few weeks ago I was talking to my father's case worker. I told her that the aides are great and that her help was wonderful. She said that no one ever tells her that and that no one ever likes the aides. Then she said something that I keep replaying in my mind. She said that everyone I meet is kind to me because I bring that positive energy along with me. I am the reason they are so nice. Whether it is true or not, I liked hearing that.

Glad I Met You

Last night was pretty awful. I had to prep for a test this afternoon and the time to do the prep is ten times longer than the actual procedure. I needed to call in the reinforcements for encouragement. I spent the night watching television and texting. My husband hid downstairs as my discomfort made his stomach hurt, so he removed himself from the cheering squad. The star of the night was my grandson. I facetimed with him for one hour. He had no idea that I was feeling bad. To him it was just a visit with Grandma. We talked about everything. We went over school, friends, holidays and home decor. He read me a book and went over his parent teacher conference results. When it was time for him to go to sleep, he looked in to the camera and said, "Grandma, I am so glad I met you". What a nice way to end the evening.

Best Theater

I went to the movies last night. It was at the best theater. First, I was welcomed by friendly people. Next, dinner was offered. It was a very tasty meal in a well decorated room. After the meal, I was escorted into the main screening room and was assigned to a perfect seat. It was comfortable and my vision was right in the center of the screen. I was offered a light blanket as theaters get a bit chilly. Since the movie was a long one, almost 3 1/2 hours, there was a short intermission. The lights went on and dessert was offered. The intermission was 1/2 hour. I then went back to my assigned seat and saw the remaining 1 1/2 hours of the film. When the film ended, I stood up and stretched. When it was time to go home, my car was waiting at the door. It was a wonderful experiences, just like the stars have. This is a private theater, by invitation only and you cannot get a Groupon for it. Thanks, Larry and Barbara for a fun night!

Less is More

Sometimes it is better to know less until you know it all. Bits and pieces of put together information can be dangerous. We can conjure up fantasies and tales and none of them are reality. Sometimes it makes us feel better and sometimes it scares us more then we need to be. The best way to do things is to wait until the final verdict is in and then take it from there.

Chameleon Capsules

My medication has changed again. Not the type I take, but how it looks. There is no standard and I have heard people complain about this for years. It is especially serious with the elderly who get used to one look of a pill only to have it changed and confuse them. I wonder how many senior citizens have died from "medication confusion". I will give an example of what happened to me. Years ago I started taking a medication. It was a white pill with a red stripe around it. Years later, I got my prescription in the mail and it was half orange and half beige. After years of getting used to that look it changed to all white. It stayed all white for about a year and when I opened a new bottle this morning, lo and behold, it was white with a red stripe around it. A blast from the past. How confusing is that? Same medication, three versions. It is scary and unsafe. Why doesn't the FDA regulate this? I guess the government is too busy chasing rabbits to make sure it's citizens are being medicated properly.

Crafts

It is holiday season and this year I ran out of ideas for gifts for my co-workers. Out of nowhere, an idea popped into my mind. I would make a flower garden from terracotta flower pots and fill it with paper flowers and origami butterflies. Each one would have a poem on a mini placard. The poem said to "Weed your garden of anything that does not bring you pleasure". The garden is a metaphor for life. Your life should only be filled with positive, beautiful things. In some cases, the unpleasant things cannot be removed but have a purpose. In other cases, they are unnecessary and just clog up your garden with ugliness. Those are the things you need to weed out. Life is like a garden, ever growing, ever changing. Weeds have no place in it.

12/12/12

Today is my granddaughter's 7th birthday. The time has flown by so quickly. I remember every moment of her birth. I remember the call saying she was on her way and the call the next morning that she was born. I was sitting at this computer writing my blog when my son called to tell me that he had a daughter. He said she was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen. She is even more beautiful today. She has grown into a kind, caring, sweet and smart girl. When I am with her, every second is special. I will see her again next week and am looking so forward to it.

The Rules

Before you sign on to a promotion or join a club, know the rules. Even better than knowing them, understand them. For the past year, my boss has been telling me about her computer ink club that sends an ink every few weeks for $2.99. I told her that it doesn't make sense that Hewlett Packard sells ink for $2.99 when it usually sells for $20. She said that it was a special offer. I didn't say another word. Yesterday she asked me to call HP to see why they charged her credit card $40 for the ink. When I called, I was told that the promotion wasn't really for the ink. It was for the "printing service". For $2.99 a month, she can print 50 copies. That month she printed 392 copies. I asked how they knew this and they said that they link to her computer to see her usage. If they are linked to see how much she prints, can they see what she prints? It seems that she has been charged more than $2.99 many times and never noticed it. She didn't know the rules.

Perception Revisited

Years ago I wrote a blog on perception. It started off with the sentence, "Perception unchallenged becomes reality". For the past few months we are living in an unchallenged country. If one side is not allowed to give their opinion, is a situation a fact? If I was having a debate with a friend and I was told that black is white and I was not allowed to show that white is white, then black becomes the new white. A one sided debate can prove any point. I saw that when I visited Salem, Massachusetts. Is a girl a witch? Some people reading today's blog will disagree. So be it. That does not mean they are right. It means that is their perception.

Rainy Day

I woke up this morning to rain. It is also Monday. A rainy day and Monday. I know there is a song about that and today the song holds true. It is not that rainy days and Mondays get me down, it is that rainy days and Mondays make me want to stay at home cuddled up watching television. I was only away for the weekend, but it seemed like I was on vacation. It is hard to go back to work mode. I have no choice, so I am up and dressed and starting my day.

Going Home

The days have flown by. I am up and getting ready to leave for the ride home. I hugged the girls a million times last night and promised to return in two weeks. I miss them already.

Great Evening

Last night we went to dinner with my son, daughter in law and  granddaughters. After dinner we spent time alone with the girls, playing games and talking. They are two little ladies and very interesting for being so young. They can carry on a conversation like an adult. Today is the birthday party. I can't wait.

On the Road

I am up and dressed and ready to get on the road. Thankfully it is a beautiful day for a drive. I can't wait to see my girls!

Levels of Problems

Yesterday there was a slight problem at work and my boss put the blame on everyone else but herself. The reality was that something fell through the cracks, but nothing earth shattering happened. I made an appointment for her at noon. She usually comes in at 1:30. The appointment was cancelled a few days ago. She was not informed. She came in and realized that she had no patient until 2pm and flew off the handle. I let her vent and said that I felt bad that this happened but I was laughing inside. First of all, she was complaining about coming in "early", to someone who shows up to her office at 7:30am to start the work day. To me early is 4am. Next, we have an interactive schedule and if she had taken one moment to look online she would have seen that the appointment no longer existed. Her bad. She was carrying on to someone who is too old to care. I have important problems in my life and complaining about being in her own office 2 hours early is ridiculous. Once she got her anger out, she calmed down for the day. It is a good thing that I have an easy going temperament.

RSVP

I am in charge of the party list for my boss' holiday celebration. She hosts it in her home and it is a lovely party.She has good food and drinks, but the guest list is the same people she works with. That type of party needs to be held at work. As lovely as the home party sentiment is, it is also uncomfortable. Other than work, no one in my office has anything in common. I have been to three out of 16 parties and can remember each one of them as being awkward. The years I have missed were the ones that coincided with my granddaughter's birthday. Some parties sound good on paper and should remain there. So far 27 awkward people plan on milling around her house, waiting for the appropriate time to leave.

Decision

I hate to have to make a decision about whether or not to drive to work in the snow. I hate to be late, but I love to be safe. This morning my son texted me that it is dangerous and not to go to work until the roads warm up. I think I will heed his warning and leave a bit later. I would rather be safe than sorry.

Peasant Remedies

I am up and dressed and ready to go to work this morning. I feel better than I have for the past four days. Normally when I get a terrible cold it lasts for at least two weeks. I take antihistamine, decongestant, guaifenesin, and sometimes antibiotics. There are usually at least two doctor visits thrown into the mix. When I got sick this week, I decided to go old school. I would treat my ailment the way they did in the 1800's in Russia. I lived on a diet of porridge for breakfast and soup for my one other meal. During the day I sipped hot water. I did not use a tea bag, it was just boiling hot water. Each day I felt a bit better. Today is day four and I am feeling pretty good. Maybe all of the medicines we take so flippantly are not the best thing for us.

Levels of Sick

There are many levels of feeling sick. I got a bad cold on Thursday and it got worse on Friday. Saturday was a washout as I never left the couch. Today is even worse. I have reached a level of sick that has never been visited before. I made my bed without the fancy throw pillows. This is insanity. My throw pillows are placed neatly on my bed every day through thick or thin, in good times or bad. In sickness or in health? I guess it did not pass that litmus test. If I do not make my bed tomorrow morning, it is time to call the ambulance.

Bad Cold

I have a bad cold. I can barely breath. I cannot miss a day writing my blog so I dragged myself down the steps to type a few sentences. That is determination.

The Day As Planned

My Thanksgiving day went exactly as planned. I was surrounded by family, my father was there, the food was great and my granddaughters called. It was as if the past few days of chaos and worry never existed. I guess that is the best way to live life. In the moment. Don't worry too much about the future and don't dwell a lot on the past. We took many pictures and will always remember this day.

Thanksgiving Medicine

There are many types of medicines and people can argue which one is the most effective. My father has been in the hospital since Tuesday evening. As people age, their bodies breakdown and treatment decisions need to be considered from a different angle. The wonderful team of doctors were all gathered together discussing what to do. There was talk of scans, scopes and probes. I stood there listening and when they asked for my input I gave it to them. I said that the best medicine for a 96 year old man is to have him seated at my Thanksgiving table eating dinner with his family. The lead doctor looked at me with the biggest smile and said I was "right on the money". He said that he could not advise me to do that as a doctor, but it is what he would do as a son. From that moment on, the entire medical team began to set up his discharge for this morning. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, he will be home by noon and enjoying a wonderful meal with the people who love him the most. Medicines are not only formulations of chemicals. They also include love.

The Day

You never know where the day brings you.  How you handle yourself with the twists and turns in the road is what is important. I have become a master navigator.

Part Two

This afternoon is part two of a presentation on transgender people. Last week should have been the presentation in its entirety but people walked in late. My boss thought that 12:20 was as good as 12:00 so the lecture was delayed. While the lecture was interesting and worthwhile, by breaking it up into 2 days, a bit of its momentum has been lost. It is like eating a meal. If it is pulled away from you half way, your stomach feels full enough. When the second portion arrives you are not that full and are ready to move onto something else. The presenter will have his work cut out for him today as a good portion of the topic interest is gone. 

Days

There used to be definitive days in my mind. There were weekdays and weekends. Now there is just a single stream of days, one flowing into the other. I do not feel the internal change that I used to when work time ended and off time started. Since my mother got sick, it became family time. That is the only important time.

One Vowel

I realized yesterday that vowels are very important letters. I was writing the list of things that I still need for my Thanksgiving dinner and the first three things on the list were:
Cuke
Cake
Coke
Three four letter words but one letter changes the meaning. Since we are in a texting, email world, one vowel can be a game changer. The moral of this blog is to always proofread before you send a message.

AM and PM

There are two kinds of people. The AM's and the PM's. I have defined them differently than the Webster's dictionary. To me AM means another morning and PM means past midnight. I am referring to lifestyle. Two nights ago, I received a text message at 11:20pm. It was from my boss. She was asking how my father was. After 16 years of working for her, she should know that I am an AM person. I get to work by 7:30am while she is still sleeping. She gets up after 10am and her work day does not start until about 1pm. She is up late at night writing books or doing research. I will not say anything to her about the late text because it has never happened before and she was asking about my father's health.

Growing Resume

My resume is growing by leaps and bounds. A few weeks ago I added cashier and packer for Stop and Shop. It seems that they want me to learn the skills to check out faster. Next, since I had such a good background, I moved on to Walmart where I also ring up and pack my own purchases. This morning , it was decided that I was trained enough to become a lab tech. The Cologuard company trusted me to take samples and mix reagents to administer a colonoscopy screen. Now I am changing hats and will become a transporter as I drive the samples to UPS. 

Deja Vu All Over Again

Three times in two weeks. How does he do it? This morning I am heading back to Brooklyn for my father to have his third vascular procedure in two weeks. We were assured the last time that it would be the last time, but even doctors cannot predict life. They can just do their job to the best of their ability. They are only human. The puzzle now is to figure out why my father's arteries continue to clot after they have been totally cleared. The procedures were a success but no one told that to the arteries.

One Question

If you want to sound intelligent ask a question. You don't need to ask a lot of questions, just one good one. I was at a work yesterday and I was asked to join a lecture. I would have rather stayed at my desk but I had to attend. It was a powerpoint presentation and after a while the boring numbers were floating in my head. I decided to ask a question to show that I was awake. I was a good question that started a wonderful conversation. After that I was off duty.

Dirty Jobs

There are dirty jobs and then there are dirty jobs. Yesterday when I got home there was a box waiting for me at the front door. I thought it could be an early holiday gift. When I opened it, the package was wrapped in a plastic bag. When I zipped open the bag, it looked like a mini toilet seat. I was still baffled. After opening it fully, I realized that it was a Cologuard kit. Instead of a colonoscopy, I have chosen to use the kit. It gives detailed instructions of how to use it and return it. Then I thought, who opens and processes it? Who is the person that day after day opens a container of poop? (I am using the more refined word for it). That is a dirty, smelly job. How much does it pay? From now on I will never complain about the crap I do at work.

Fix the Errors

I will be back in work this morning after being away since Wednesday. New computers were put in Thursday and the set up could not be completed without me.  I have no idea what lies ahead of me. I know that an insurance program is not working and I am sure I will find a few more glitches. One by one they will be fixed. I just need to have a relaxed temperament because getting upset will only make things worse.

Bee-utiful Sentiment

I used to be a frog person. I do not know why but for some reason, in the 1980's people bought me frogs. When they went on vacation, I would get a frog souvenir. They lined my desk. When I left work to start my life as a mother, I took them with me and I have no idea where they are now. Since my mother passed away, I have become a bee person. Her name was Bea so the tiny little insect has become my favorite. Last night, I received the most special bee. My sister in law surprised me with a bee bracelet. There are some gifts that are not only beautiful to look at, but actually warm your soul. I have not taken it off or stopped staring at it since I put it on. It is the perfect bee, like my mother. There is something about it that just feels right. It is as if we were meant to be (bee, Bea).

Mona Lisa Eyes

My mother has Mona Lisa eyes. I have quite a few pictures of her in various places in my house. Most of them are her posing with other people. When I look at the pictures, from whatever angle I am at, she is looking at me. The other people seem to be staring at the camera, but she is always looking at me. She feels lifelike. I feel like she is posing for the shot and in a moment she will resume life and begin talking to me. I know this sounds a bit weird, but this is how I feel and feelings cannot be dismissed by someone else. I feel comforted each night as I close my eyes and each morning as I open them, when I see her smiling at me.

Well Run

The difference of a well run office and a poorly run office is how it reacts to a bad situation. I saw the worst example of this yesterday. My father was scheduled for a procedure at 10:15am. It was the second part of a procedure that he had last week. We arrived at the office to see that every seat was taken and people were standing in the hallway. The seated people all had their eyes closed which is an indication of them being there for a while. This office deals with dialysis patient's vascular problems so no one should have been left to stand. My father had a sonogram and then was told that the procedure was an "add on" and he would have to wait for a while to have it, as other people were before him. It seems that in error he was listed as a follow up and not a procedure when the schedule was made. He had not eaten since the night before to prepare for this surgery. A man and his aide walked in and it seems that they read their appointment card wrong. The appointment was for 11/19 but they thought it was for 11/14. They were told to stay anyway as they had made the trip. Clearly, this to me, should have been treated as the "add on". We sat and sat and sat and at 1pm, I asked when we were going to be seen. The other man that walked in on the wrong date was already in the OR suite. At about 2pm, my father was brought back to the pre op room and got into a surgical gown. He was told he would be the last procedure of the day. I then became quite upset. He is 96 years old and it was not his fault that the schedule was incorrect. By this time his aide andI had not eaten anything or even had a sip of water since 8am. I asked a surgical nurse for water and she went to get some for me but never returned with it. This center gives a sandwich to the patients after surgery so they have a stocked kitchen. I asked another nurse for water and she disappeared into thin air. I asked to see the manager and a young man walked over. I explained that I had been there since 9:30am and it was now 3:30pm and neither myself nor the aide had eaten a bite of food or a sip of water all day. The office is in a residential area and parking is terrible so the option of moving my car to drive for any food would result in spending an hour looking for a parking spot again. The manager told me that I could walk 1/2 mile to the nearest store. That was my "Niagara Falls" moment when my head spun around and I let my feeling be clearly known. I told him that neither he nor his office has any human compassion or kindness and that he should be ashamed of himself for not bringing me a cup of water after sitting for 6 1/2 hours, especially when I asked a few times. I told him that a dog in Key West is treated better as dog bowls full of water are left in front of every store in case a dog is thirsty.  After the surgery at 6pm, they brought my father a tuna fish sandwich. It was a big sandwich and he could only eat half of it. He told me to have the other half. Do you know what I did with that half? I brought it to his aide. I would not eat first, if she had not eaten. I could not see another person go hungry. That is how I was brought up.

Taking Cues

Sometimes things do not have to be said. It is the unspoken words that are important. It is the tone, the look, the feeling. My father is scheduled for a procedure this morning to finish the one he had as an emergency last week. He needs to be under anesthesia for this one and since he was not able to be sedated last week, it became a two part surgery. We arranged for a ride back and forth and his healthcare aide is with him. He said he would be fine. Last night when we spoke, I sensed in his voice that he was not fine. It was not said in words, it was said in the wavering sound of his voice. I asked him to tell me honestly if he wanted me to go with him. That is when he started to cry. He felt that it would be a burden for me to miss work. I told him that nothing is more important than him and I would be there with him in the morning and stay until he was settled back at home. I took the cue.

What Goes Around

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. The parking is horrible so I left ample time to get a parking spot. A few minutes after I arrived at the doctor's office an elderly man walked in with an envelope in his hand. He asked the receptionist if she could give it to Dr Jacobs. My doctor shares the office with two other doctors but their staff was not there. The receptionist said "No". The man kept pleading for her to just take the envelope as it was so hard for him to come back to the office. Again she said "No". She said he should have called first and she was not going to be responsible for his paper since Dr Jacob's staff was not there. I watched in astonishment. He left the office quite upset. When I was taken in to see my doctor, I asked the medical assistant if there was a problem between the doctors. She said there was not. I recounted what I saw while in the waiting room and I was upset too. When my appointment was done, I went to the checkout desk and saw the rude girl. I asked if there were any papers I needed to fill out as my doctor said there were. In a nasty tone she said there were not. I asked again stating that the doctor told me to fill out something before I left. She gave me a sneer and said,"No" again. As I was walking out, the doctor called the front desk to make sure I filled out the paperwork. The receptionist came running after me saying that I needed to come back to complete a form. Now, I said "No". She said that the doctor would be very angry with her if I did not fill out the papers. I said that was her problem, not mine. The rest of the patients in the waiting room chimed in saying, "Just go home". I guess she had been nasty to them, too.

Truly Me

I finally know who I am. It is not that I never knew, it is that I can strongly defend it now. I have heard the expression "authentic self" many times through the years and never fully realized what it meant. Now that I am older and hopefully wiser, I understand what it means. People may look at me and question why I do what I do or why I am reacting like I am. It is because I need to be true to myself and my core values. I do what I feel is right for my own reasoning. If someone does something wrong to me, that does not mean that I will act in turn. Their bad behavior will not dictate mine. I will not mimic what I see and turn it into what I do.

Hankies

I was looking in my closet this morning and saw a small gift box on a shelf. I remember taking it from my mother's house last year. I forgot what was in it so I opened it. It was a box of handkerchiefs wrapped beautifully in tissue paper. Someone must have given it to her as a gift. Each one was beautifully embroidered. Most people reading this blog will know what I am talking about. Men always had white ones and some of them had a thicker white border. The concept was really quite unsanitary. Blow your nose, fold up the rag, put it into your pocket to use later. When it was used for the day, throw it into the wash to be used again. Some old fashioned ways are no longer there for a reason.

Traveling Food Show

Since my father is at his home for the weekend recuperating, my sister and I are leaving soon to go spend the day with him. Yesterday we both cooked food for him even though he has enough already in his refrigerator. My sister has become the soup queen. She makes her special blend to include all food groups. When you eat her soup, you are eating a meal. I have made an old fashioned noodle pudding that contains enough dairy products to make someone's bones strong like steel. We will walk on the "avenue" and buy him anything else that looks good to us. We are looking forward to a great day with dad.

Superman

My father is Superman. He is The Man of Steel. The ordeal that he went through yesterday would have made a younger person crumble, but not him. He held strong and pushed through. His day started off as usual with a big breakfast. He then went to dialysis. The staff was unable to get the machine flowing. Three weeks ago this happened and he was sent to a vascular doctor the next day to open up a clog in his graft. We thought all was well, but apparently the clot was still there. Since it was Friday and he would not be able to have a procedure until Monday and dialysis until Tuesday, the decision was made to have an emergency appointment that day. I drove to Brooklyn and took him to a surgeon. Since he had a big breakfast, he could not have anesthesia. He agreed to have the procedure without it. He had the clot removed, the tight areas stretched and a balloon put into his artery. All without anesthesia. He said the pain was horrific but he knew that if he went 6 days without dialysis, it could mean disaster. Not only was everything done without anesthesia, but he watched the entire surgery being done on a live video monitor! After the procedure was done, he walked out on his own two feet and I took him directly to dialysis for a three hour treatment. He was done at 7pm and home by 7:30.  His aide was there to make him dinner and spend the night. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. Then I thought to myself, if I was tired, I cannot imagine how he felt.

Plant Based

Why are we becoming obsessed with things that are plant based? Are we returning to the age of the dinosaur? When I go to a fast food hamburger restaurant, I want beef. I do not want a plant that is shaped and colored like beef to be put on my bun. A few weeks ago I wanted to see if a plant based burger tasted like a meat burger. Believe me, it did not. It had a weird taste that was so bad I had to throw my dinner in the garbage. If you want to eat plants, order a salad. Don't try to fool yourself. At the very least, order a veggie burger. Imposters are imposters. I just saw a commercial on plant based butter. I call that product oil. Butter has cream. Butter comes from a cow. Don't misuse the wonderful word of butter by attaching the term plant based. Stop the politically correct food menu. I am not a cave woman.

Perspective

Life is all about perspective. It is about what you see from where you are standing. It is about how something affects you when it has not affected anyone else. We had this discussion in work yesterday. One person thought that my boss flew into the office in a rage, yelling. I thought she walked into the office quietly as she normally does. The other receptionist agreed with me. How could three people see the same event in two separate ways? What I saw was my boss coming in pleasantly as usual and asking the bookkeeper to compare ledger dates with documentation dates. No voices were raised. No attitudes were there. The bookkeeper did not have all of the information and maybe she was caught off guard so her mind tweaked the conversation in a negative way. Whatever the truth is, goes back to the individual.

The Age of Reflection

How old do you have to be to reflect upon your life and see your mistakes? I think that 50 is a good starting point. When we are in our 20's and 30's we can only see how life affects us. We are so busy building a life that we cannot see how what we do can take a toll on others. When we reach 40 we realize that there are other people's feelings in the world and maybe our actions can hurt them, but we do not have enough life skills to fix things. When we get to be 50 and over we see our years on the other side of the mountain. We can feel for other people in a way we never did before. We can see hurt and anger that was unnecessary. We can see that small things were blown up out of proportion and were not relevant to anything. Sometimes we are lucky and can mend fences. Sometimes the fences that we need to mend are no longer there. That is something that can haunt us forever.

Vote

Today is election day. It is your responsibility to vote. If you do not place your vote, you are in essence voting for the other party. People do not realize that. Read the papers. Find out what the candidates stand for and how it will effect you and make your decision upon that. If you do not vote you do not have the right to complain.

Missing Product

It has happened again. A product that I love has been discontinued. I have been drinking matcha tea for the last few weeks. It promotes a healthy stomach while helping you burn fat. Matcha is a tea that is grown in the shade and dried, then ground into a fine powder. It is sold in all coffee shops in the form of tea or smoothies. The only down side is that it is expensive. I found it at a reasonable rate and bought it from a company for a few months. All of a sudden I cannot find the company online. The packing slip did not have a telephone number. Now I am on a search for matcha tea at a reasonable price. I should have just bought a ton of it when it was available.

Misplaced

It has happened again. I put something in a safe place and cannot remember where it is. It is nothing earth shattering, but it is something that I need for a craft project and if I do not find it, I will have to rebuy it. I am sure that the moment I open the new package, the old one will pop out from thin air to taunt me.

God Bless America

Last night I had dinner with my family. There were four generations at the table, from my father, to me, to my son to my grandchildren. After dinner my father was talking to my grandson about singing songs. He asked if my grandson liked to sing and he said that he did. They decided to sing a song together. I was busy clearing the table and by the time I got back into the room, it was too late to make a video. The song they were singing was "God Bless America". My father chose the song and my grandson knew the words to it. It was a wonderful moment in time to see two people ages 96 and 6, singing a patriotic song. This is America at its best.

November

I cannot believe that it is November. It seems like just yesterday was Halloween. It was. The weather was dreary and not many trick or treaters came to my house. I was left with a bag of Kit Kat's and a few Smarties. I am not ready to commit my mind to winter. My memories of the town pool are still fresh and are fighting as they are pushed out of my brain. As each  day passes, I am one step closer to life changes and that scares me. For all I know, these changes may be wonderful but there is an unknown attached to them that worries me. I guess I have to heed the advice I tell my patients. Focus on the now. Life is easier that way.

Wrong Message

Last night I was watching television and received a text message. It said 4 tuna, 4 salmon, 4 kani. Almost immediately I got a second message that said, "Wrong person, so sorry!". It was from one of my doctors. He was done with work and wanted to order sushi to take home for dinner. My name was one above the word sushi and I guess he did not double check who he was texting. I thought it was very funny and responded that I now was in the mood for sushi. Imagine if it was a personal message that no one else but the intended recipient was to see. That is the danger of texting. We do it so fast that most of us never spend a moment to double check to whom and what we are sending.

The Right To Pay

Yesterday my boss came running into the office upset about her personal credit card account. It seems it was overdue even though she thought she paid it. She called in a payment and the call got cut off at the very end but she assumed the payment went through. She gave me the bill to call in the payment. I called Citibank and explained what happened. I told them that I wanted to pay her bill in full. They said that they needed her to get on the phone to authorize the payment. She was with a patient and I did not want to interrupt. Then I asked the representative a question. If I pay with the automated system, how does it know who I am? She had no answer. I was not taking money out of the account, I was paying it off. If I could do this over the phone without a live person, why couldn't I do it with a representative? The rules are the rules and I am not here to give a Citibank worker a hard time, so I interrupted the doctor to have her get on the phone to say it was ok for me to speak. They never asked any other security questions. Now, I would like to know how they really knew it was her.

No Radio

I know it is holiday season. I know that by the holiday music. My favorite station will play only holiday music until December 26. I feel like part of my drive to work is being stripped of it's happiness. I will no longer have my favorite songs to sing along to. Bing Crosby just does not cut it for me.

The Return

My computer ran out of ink yesterday so I replaced it with a new one that was Staples brand. It would not work. The ink's metal circuit board was damaged so the printer could not recognize it. I had bought the ink a while back and no longer had the receipt. I went to Staples and asked for an exchange. I showed the associate the missing circuits on the ink. He then started to do the return. The numbers would not go through their system. It had been an online purchase and they could not figure out how to do an online return in the store. Since it was their brand there was no mistaking that I bought it from them. One associate tried, then the next, then the manager. They were stymied. They then called the Staples online help line and were walked through it. This had taken 45 minutes so far. Once they had the numbers to enter, their own computers froze. I was taken to three different registers until one finally worked. I was amazed that a store that sells computers could not get theirs to work. Finally, one hour later the transaction was complete.

Repairs

If you know how to do it yourself, you can save a lot of money. My upstairs bathroom faucet has not been working well. The water flow is thin and no hot water seems to be coming up like it used to. Most people would call a plumber. We never call for outside help until we have exhausted all other methods. Last night we bought a filter for a few dollars. Voila. The faucet is fixed.

Origami

I have decided to make my office staff holiday gifts this year instead of buying them. Each person will get a flower pot filled with origami butterflies and flowers. I might even throw in a bird. I have been watching You Tube videos to learn how to fold the paper to make the beautiful origami. I am amazed how just folding a paper a few times can transform something plain into something intricate. I guess it parodies life. Take what you are given and make it into something that you can be proud of.

Memory

I am at the age where I am glad I can remember my own things. Please do not ask me to remember yours. Yesterday I got a text message from my boss asking how she paid an employee a settlement 5 years ago. First of all, I am not the bookkeeper. Second of all, why is this my problem? I keep records of everything I do. If you don't, tough luck. I am not responsible for your bad memory or poor recordkeeping.

National Days

Each day of the year has a "holiday" attached to it. There is National Sweater Day, National Smile Day and so on. I want to have a National Fend For Yourself Day. It would be a day where no one enlists the help of another person to do what they themselves should do. The alternate name for this day would be National Thank You For Giving Me A Day Of Rest Day.

Turning The Corner

I think the corner might be turned. After a week of suffering the pain is subsiding. Who knows why things change from moment to moment? I have my own theory but it could be totally wrong. As long as improvements are made, the reason behind them has no bearing.

Horoscope

How true are horoscopes? This morning I got up to read the following Yahoo horoscope, "Your no-nonsense approach to solving problems empowers you to help a loved one over a speed bump on the road of life." Nothing can be truer. My husband had a rough day yesterday. We had to have a test done to make sure that he did not have a blood clot in his leg. After working all day, I took him to the radiologist and by the time we got home it was after 6pm. I do not coddle him. I am no nonsense and realistic. Since the doctor told him that sometimes things hurt after surgery and it will pass, I think he will feel better and start to rebound.

The Cog

Human beings are very much like cogs. All parts need to be in working order to move along correctly. My husband is a broken cog since last Tuesday. His surgery went well but now other body parts are hurting.We have no idea if it is residual pain of if fixing one part of the body infringed upon another. Day by day he feels worse. We are waiting for him to "turn the corner" but his GPS seems to not know the way. It is sad to watch someone in pain.

Baby Steps

Every person recovers at their own rate and their own mindset. It has been a painful week for my husband. He thought he would be up and about after a few days which was delusional. He is moving along slowly but not understanding that it is a process. Today I am planning to take him out for a short time to walk around Home Depot. He needs light bulbs, so we have a reason to be there. I am sure it will be a bit painful going in and out of the car but that is part of healing. We shall see how it goes.

Heat

This morning I woke up to the unmistakable first sign of winter. I smelled heat. When I got out of bed, the smell of my heating system was in the air. The first time it is used it smells this way as if it is saying that it has woken up from it's summer rest. I never turned the thermostat up. The temperature outside hit 37 degrees and the boiler decided that I needed to be warmed up.

Fake It

There is an expression, "Fake it until you make it". I am trying that with one of my receptionists. She is a smart girl that has potential to work her way up to management. I really like her so I am helping train her. Whether or not she remains with my office, I want to train her to be management anywhere. I have instructed her to always say yes when she is asked if she knows how to do something by my boss. Then she should call me so I can tell her how to do it. The system is working well because I see that she is beginning to learn things without asking me. She is smart enough to figure some things out for herself. My boss called her yesterday to tell her that she wants to hear how she talks to potential new patients when they call for information. She has never done that so she called me to ask what to do. Monday, I will teach her all of the necessary informational points that she will need to "role play" with my boss next week. I am glad that I am at the age where I am not in fear of someone taking over my job. In fact, I welcome it.

Code Red

How many signals does a person need to have before they find themselves in trouble? I always say that most problems are self inflicted and yesterday I was proved right again. One of our doctors was late to work. When he came in he explained why. He ran out of gas in his car. He drove about 1/2 mile away from home when his car died. He had to walk back home, get his lawn mover, turn it upside down, pour gas into a milk container, walk back to his car, pour it in and drive to a gas station. My first question for him was whether or not his gas gauge was broken. He said it worked fine. He said that he had been driving in the red area of the gauge and thought he could get a few more miles out of it. Obviously he had done this before. Where was his judgement? This is a man with a PhD degree. All of that effort to fix a problem that did not need to happen.

D or G

One letter makes a difference. It can drastically change the meaning of a sentence. I found that out yesterday. My sister has always been against texting. She believes that if you have something to say, pick up the phone and make a call. After my husband's surgery yesterday, I had so many people to notify. I was in a room full of other patient's families when the doctor came to speak to me and making calls would have been annoying to the other people. I started to text family first. My older son got the first text, as I never do group texts. I wrote "Dad is done. He is in recovery. We should be going home in a few hours". Either I or Google made a spelling or auto correct error. The message came through as "Dad is gone". Good thing that my son is sensible and read the entire message and figured out what the true meaning was.

Stressful Day

We are getting ready to go to the hospital for my husband to have spinal surgery. I am sure it will go well but do not know what the aftermath will be. How quickly will he recover? Will I be able to go to work tomorrow and leave him alone? He thinks that he will be up and about in two days and I hope that is true. I do not like the unknown.

First Time Around

It is better to do something on the first request than trying to catch up on the second one. This happened to my husband the other day. He made an eBay purchase and while the item came in as expected, he found out that the price was not fair. He ordered an item that he thought was hard to find and when he received it in the mail it came from Walmart online. He never thought that Walmart would have this item. The seller bumped up the price by almost 100% when he sold it. If the item had been sent from the seller it would have been okay, but to have it come from Walmart directly was like rubbing salt into a wound. He wrote the seller and asked for a small refund and said that if he did not get it, he would leave a negative feedback explaining what happened. The seller said that he would not give back any money. A negative feedback was left only saying that my husband asked for a small refund due to a problem, but the buyer refused. He never said what happened specifically. The next day the seller wrote that he would give the refund if the negative feedback would be removed. My husband agreed. The money was refunded and my husband went on eBay to remove the negative feedback. It could not be removed or changed. It seems that eBay limits the amending of feedback and the seller already had the maximum amended. My husband's negative feedback would remain. He wrote to the seller saying he tried but eBay would not allow changes. If the seller had done the right thing the first time around he would not be stuck with a bad review now.

Happy Birthday Barbara

It's here! Your 70th birthday is today. The number looks strange on paper when compared to the person that you are. You are 70 in years but 20 in spirit. We met forty years ago but it seems like I know you forever. As I get older, I find that birthdays mean more in some ways but less in other ways. It is not the number of years you are, but the accomplishments you achieved within those years that really matter. On the scale of accomplishments your are over 100.You have a husband that is devoted and loving. You have two beautiful daughters that anyone would be proud to call their own. You have a son in law that was meant to be in our family. You have friends that have been there for you since kindergarten. Whenever my family gets together with you we are guaranteed "lots of laughs". That is a lot to pack into only 70 years. You are not only my family, you are my friend. I wish you the best birthday ever and many more to come.

eTroubles

This morning I wanted to do an online task. I chose my option, personalized it and began the checkout process. The site asked for a password, but the last time I used it had been so long ago I did not remember it. I tried to do a password reset. I waited and waited for the reset email to arrive and one hour later it was still not here. Maybe it is stuck in internet traffic. I then decided to just open a new account with an alternate email address. I put in my information and the site froze. I x'd out and tried again to no avail. I was now sitting here for 45 minutes to do something that should have taken five. I closed out the site entirely and chose another company. I finished what I needed to do in a few minutes, but it was not what I really wanted.

Musical Loop

My mind has been in a musical loop since yesterday. I was driving home from work and heard a beautiful song that I had only heard once before. My car has a replay option and I put the song on replay. It played continuously for 21 minutes until I arrived home. I then played it on my phone. The words were very touching and for some reason I just needed to hear them over and over again. All through the night, the song played in my mind and when I got up this morning it was still there. It is like a limerick. The first line of the song says, "If you say my eyes are beautiful, it's because I'm looking at you". How could a song with that line not be touching?

The Ladder

We all know the expression, "Watch who you step on, on the ladder going up, because you may see them on the ladder going down". I think I paraphrased the saying but the thought is the same. Sometimes the trip down the ladder comes faster than you think. This is happening at my husband's old job. One of the supervisors very recently trained a new hire. The new guy was young and without much experience but he did have a college degree in science. People referred to him as "the kid". The supervisor gave him a hard time and did not make the training period easy. The kid started his job as a technician a few months ago. Last week the top supervisor decided to leave for a better job and guess who was hired to replace him? The kid. Now the kid is a supervisor over the man who trained him. No one saw this coming. The moral of the story is to be nice to everyone or suffer the consequences.

Thank You

Sometimes all you need to say is "Thank you". Whether the other person is right or wrong, as long as they meant well thank you covers it all. I will give you an example of where those two words, left alone,  could have avoided a confrontation. As I left work yesterday, people said, "Have a happy New Year" to me and I wished it back to them. I am not in work today and neither are the people that said that to me since it is Yom Kippur. A person in the waiting room, who is not Jewish, said they wished us all a happy day with our families. We responded by saying thank you. That is when another person in the waiting room piped in. They told the well wisher that today is a sad day and she should not have wished us a happy day. The well wisher said that she is not Jewish and had no idea about the holiday and now felt bad about what she said. Other people chimed in that the woman meant well and nothing should have been said to criticize her good wishes. All of that needless conversation because an ignorant person could not just leave the words "Thank You" alone.

Yet

Every situation has a "yet". A yet can be positive or negative. The statement that I have not won the lottery, yet, gives me hope for the future. Another statement, I did not get test results back, yet, can be concerning. A person waiting for a relationship, has not met the right person, yet. It is the same thing for someone looking for a job. They have not found one, yet.  The three letter word, "yet" holds a lot of power in our lives because it looks towards the future and has not decided if it will point to the positive or negative.

Videos

Yesterday I downloaded a few videos of my parents. It took over a year to be able to watch them. When I did , it seemed like my mother is still here. I have a memory lapse and the part where she died is missing. It feels like the video was just taken and that she went back to Florida for the winter. It feels so good to have my mind tricked for a short time. It is as if I was injected with a serum of joy and happiness.

Going Green

What is the matter with a green drink? When you see someone drinking a shake or a clear bottle with a colored drink, they all look good. Pink, white, light brown, orange and even blue look appealing to the palate. Why is green the villain? You would never go up to someone having a pink drink and say, "Ich". You would never make a rude comment and compare their drink to something disgusting. Where has the anti green drink movement come from? If we eat green salads and green vegetables and are commended for them, why are we ostracized for a green drink? I am a new member of the green drink brigade and proud of it.

Survey

If you want my opinion, you need to go about it in the right way. If a survey comes in the mail, give me a postage paid return envelope. I do not have to pay to give you my opinion. If you call me for my opinion, don't. I never answer questions from people I do not know. If I call your company and you ask me to take a short survey at the end of the call, my wait time had better be less than one minute. If I have to hold for 45 minutes to get my questions answered, do you think I want to continue to be on the call for even one more minute for your benefit? I am not sure whether my opinion really matters or counts. If it did, things would be different.

Common Sense

Yesterday I had to verify a common sense decision. There was no reason to do that. The original decision was cut and dry. If someone doesn't show up to work and has no idea how to do the job after 5 weeks, they get the boot. One of my administrators wanted to delve into the abyss of analyzing that decision. She is so afraid of being politically correct that she looks insane. She asked me to call our HR department who is paid to only consult and tell them what is going on and ask their advice. I called and told them what was happening and they said, "Kick her out". Even the employee must have known she was getting fired as her phone went to voicemail. She texted me last night but I did not respond. I only fire people in my office setting. That way I have witnesses.

Drama Free

I run a drama free office. If you bring drama in, I will show you the way out. Today I will fire the woman I hired a month ago. She was hired for 2 days a week. Am I wrong to be upset when she only shows up one day a week? I asked her to come in for more training since she has no idea how to do the job. Am I wrong to be upset that she has never come in additional hours, not to mention the hours she was hired for? I do not like people upsetting my wonderful office staff. Am I wrong to fire a woman who spent the evening being so nasty to my evening receptionist, that the receptionist texted me to ask if she could leave early? She was given a pleasant warning last week and nothing has changed. People are their own worst enemies.

One Ingredient

One ingredient does matter. Yesterday I wanted to make a new soup recipe. It was a Thai Curry Soup. I read a few recipes and wrote a shopping list. I went to the store and was able to get every ingredient except one. The store did not sell fish sauce. The soup only needed one teaspoon, so I decided to skip the fish sauce and make the soup without it. The soup tasted good but not the way it does in a restaurant. It was lacking something, the fish sauce. That one missing teaspoon made the difference. I will track it down this week and start all over again.

Personal Assistant

I spent the first three hours in work yesterday doing personal things for my boss. She needed medical records for herself and a membership updated. There was no reason why she could not do these two tasks herself. One of them I made easy by opening an online account for her. She lost the password so I had to redo it and that took time as there was a glitch in the laboratory system. My rule is that I am in her office until 2pm and as long as I get my salary, I will do what she asks. The only other rule I have for myself is that I do not have to finish all of my office work that day. If her decision is that personal things are more important than work things, she has to realize that work things will get pushed off until the next day.

Culinary Identity

Culinary identity is knowing who you are culturally through food. I don't know if I just drummed up this phrase, but I cannot think of another way to express myself. Last night my family got together for a Rosh Hashanah dinner. My grandchildren were there. They are being brought up with two religious/cultural backgrounds. One is Italian and the other is Jewish. Food plays a very important role in both. Sunday family dinners are filled with delicious pastas, sauces and meats and reflect the Italian traditions. The Jewish side takes place around the holiday table. Last night's dinner was culturally perfect. The dinner included chicken, brisket, vegetables, potatoes and mushroom barley. All staples on the holiday table. The first course consisted of the one food that people identify most as Jewish, matzo ball soup. It was the most delicious matzo ball soup that I have ever had and I will try to recreate it. Here is where culinary and culture mix. I sat next to my grandson and he started to eat the soup. He has had it before and knows that it relates to his Jewish side. After eating one bowl and asking for more, he turned to me and said, "Grandma, on my next sleepover can we make this soup and have it for dinner instead of eating out"? I said of course we can and we will. Each holiday will reinforce, through foods, where his ancestors came from. It is so subtle but so important.

A Way

There is always a way to do something if you think about it. This morning I wanted to frost my hair but it was too short for the frosting cap. I thought about how I could get more dye on some hairs and less on others. Then I came up with the perfect solution. I would put the dye on my hair then run a comb through it to take off every other line. Genius! If it came out good, I would look great. If it came out bad, I would look like a freak. Good thing that I am at the age where looking like a freak doesn't scare me. It turned out nice. I found the way.

Fast Track

We have put our lives on a fast track. We do not have the patience for waiting. We call ahead at restaurants. We hail taxis through a website. We go to urgent care instead of waiting at our regular doctor's office. This morning I downloaded an app to sign in at my hairstylists while I am still at home eating breakfast. We want to breeze in and be taken care of instantaneously. Most people need the extra time in their day for scrolling social media.

Half Trained

One of our office staff left us to start her PhD degree. She was in charge of an independent study that my office is involved in. It was totally separated from our practice. When she knew she was leaving, she said that no one could replace her as she is so qualified. She hired a very bright woman to take over. She said that the woman was fully trained but we never thought so. After one month of being in school, the new woman is doing a good but not perfect job. The director called back the original girl to come work part time and help out. She is now saying that she was right, no one can replace her. The people in the office feel otherwise. We think that she purposely did not train her replacement correctly, so she would be needed again.

Soup

I used to say that old people love to eat soup. I think I am officially old. I now love soup. I not only love eating it, I love making it. I am amazed how many things I can put into a pot of boiling water to make a delicious meal. Yesterday I chose cabbage. I added mushrooms, onions, garlic, carrots, tomatoes, beans and meat. I simmered for almost 2 hours and when it was done, I ate such a big bowl that I think I am still full one day later. Since I had leftover soup, this morning I put it into the blender to make bisque. Now I will have a wonderful lunch.

The Table

When you have a question, throw it on the "table". The only "table" I used to have was at Mah Jongg, but now I have a "table" at work. The table is an open forum. It is a place to vent and discuss. Most problems can be solved there. If they are not solved, at least you have more awareness. When you throw an issue on the table, it means you are open for other people's opinions and insights. The table never judges, it just listens and evaluates. You can still have your opinion, but it is a more informed one.

Shake It Up

I have started a new health regimen. I want to be healthy but not fanatical. I have been making a morning smoothie and for some reason I am not hungry all day. It is made with almond milk, honey, a banana, some raspberries and a teaspoonful of matcha tea powder. It tastes great and seems to help my stomach look flatter. I eat a regular lunch and dinner. I will give it a few weeks and see if the results last.

Extinguish The Behavior

In psychology there is a concept of extinguishing the behavior. It means that you make it clear that the bad behavior will no longer be tolerated. It is the end of the road where no more chances will be given. Sometimes it is as easy as no longer answering the phone. Sometimes it is harder by calling someone's bluff. Either way, things cannot go on as they had before and it is made very clear what will happen.

I Told You So

I hate to be the type of person that says I told you so. Throughout my life people have come to me for advice and I think that for the most part I have given them sound advice. I am a sensible and cautious person, so I try to guide someone else to do what I do. I have never steered anyone wrong. When the person doesn't listen and gets themselves in a mess, I never comment. They know what I an silently thinking. I told you so. Lately I have stopped giving advice. I am playing dumb when people ask for my opinion. I feign ignorance and tell them to do what they think is correct. When things go bad, it still comes back to me. They ask me why I didn't intervene if I saw trouble brewing?

Better Care

Yesterday I picked my father up from Brooklyn and we drove back to Long Island. I brought in a sandwich for us to share for lunch. We ate it all and then went to sit in the living room and read. That is our usual routine. He reads, naps, reads, naps. After a few naps, we had a funny conversation. He said that if he knew he was going to live this long, he would have taken better care of himself. I looked at him and laughed. He is 96 years old. He still walks, talks, eats and has a better memory than I do. He never exercised and ate salty foods his whole life. He totally disregards the menu he has been advised to eat from the dialysis center. The people that eat healthy and exercise regularly die at an earlier age than 96. Maybe in the long run, better care is no care.

Losing Time

I no longer know the time in years. I have forgotten "how many years ago" events were. The events are clear, but what year they took place in is vague. Did something happen in 2014 or 2015 or 2017? I would need to think hard and count back to get the answer. When I was younger, the answer was on the tip of my tongue. I guess I had less years to look back on.

Surprise Visit

For the past week I have been thinking about one of the young doctors that had worked at my office. She left us about six years ago and opened her own practice. I was telling one of my receptionists about her the other day and we even looked up her website. Her office is in Suffolk county about 30 miles away. I used to be close with her, but for some reason we lost touch. Yesterday I was sitting in  the front office when  young girl walked in. It took a moment to realize that it was her. She brought a platter of cookies for us. I was so surprised as I was thinking of calling her this week to see how she was. She never came to visit before because she thought she would be unwelcome as she left mid contract. Most of the other doctors she worked with are no longer there. She stayed a while and waited to see my boss, who was thrilled to see her. We promised each other we would not lose touch again.

Bricks

When we are young we build our lives like we build a house, brick by brick. The bricks make the foundation for the future. You want to make it sturdy so it can bear the weight if things turn stormy. You spend many years safe and secure in your fortress. As we age, we feel the weight of the bricks upon us. We downsize. As each brick is taken off, we feel relieved. The weight of the world is literally coming off of our shoulders.

Survey

Why do I need to take a survey? At the end of many phone calls, I am asked to stay on the line to take a brief survey. If I have spent an hour on hold why in the world would I want to continue hanging on to answer your questions.You have already wasted a part of my day and I need to move on and continue what I was doing. Why doesn't the company just try to call itself and see how they are doing?

Family Reunion

Yesterday I went with my father to the cemetery to visit my mother. Before my sister and I drove him back home, we passed by to pray for her and remember the wonderful life she had. My father was not sure if he could do this as it is too heart wrenching for him. He realized that if he did not go, it would make him sadder in the long run. When we arrived at the cemetery, it was crowded with funerals so we decided to walk to her gravesite instead of driving to it. We walked the 2 blocks and saw a car approaching and then stopping. The people got out to visit their loved ones.We arrived at her site a minute later and as expected, my father broke down in tears. He was so distraught that my sister and I walked away for a moment to let him have some private time with my mother. As we did that, we heard a voice call my father's name. Walking towards us was my cousin and her family. She was always my father's favorite great niece. The tears dried up and were replaced with a smile. We talked for a while and she said that this is not her usual time or day of the week to come see her mother, my father's niece, who lived in his house prior to his marrying my mother. I just knew that my mother set the timing for the visit, knowing that my father would need to be relieved of his sorrow, if only for a short time. I looked up at the sky and said, "Thanks Mom". At that instant my phone rang with the special ringtone song that usually plays in my car when I need a sign that my mother is with me. It was a call from an unknown number and when I answered it no one was there. My sister then put her hand in her pocketbook to find something and a dime fell into it. That is her sign from my mother. Here is the question: Were these coincidences or signs from above that she is watching over us? I am 100% sure of the answer.

Health

I am becoming a witch doctor. I have decided to take my health into my own hands. Of course I am still taking the prescription medications that my doctors have given me, but I am also adding in a few mixes of my own. My stomach has been a bit off lately so I am drinking a potion that I have mixed up and it seems to be working. After doing online research which is equivalent to a medical degree nowadays, I have concocted a mix that I like. It consists of chamomile tea, matcha tea, bitters and a bit homemade candied orange peel juice for flavoring. It tastes good and has all of the anti inflammatory ingredients for my stomach. So far, so good.

Waste Not

I have been watching videos on what to do with an item that you would normally throw away. They show everything from food scraps to egg shells to clothes being put to use in a different way. It is amazing to see the beautiful projects that garbage can produce. There are so many, that if I followed the tutorial I would have a house filled with junk, until I turned them into gold. I am trying to remember the best transformations and will try them for myself.

Micro Managing

I am a micro manager in work and at home. I do not do it to help you, I do it to help myself. If I do not oversee everyone else's responsibilities they will eventually turn into mine. When I make the mistake of loosening up the reigns, things get more out of hand. I learn my lesson and take back control. I have the misguided illusion that people can think for themselves and I am proven wrong time and time again. Maybe I just hang out with stupid people.

Management

I have been the manager of my office for almost 16 years. I still keep in touch with most of my employees. The reason is that I am a manager who understands situations and acts accordingly. Before I make a decision or pass a comment, I think of how my employee will feel. Yesterday one of my receptionists told me that her mother surprised her with a ticket to Miami for her birthday. She would need to be off 2 days. One day I will have a replacement the other I will not. She said she was so sorry that her mother did that because now it effects the office. I had 2 choices when answering. One was to reprimand her for leaving the office without help when her family knows her schedule. The other was to be excited for her and tell her to have a great time. I chose the latter. She is a great worker, has a future with my office and is very reliable. I was making an investment in her by being kind. She was so happy that I reacted as I did and said that she would never leave us short staffed again and would be available to help out anyone else on her days off. My rationale was that she had a plane ticket and she was going no matter what. Why ruin it for her?

Guilt

Sometimes we forget that putting ourselves first is not selfish. It is necessary. I see from how many of my patients react, that many times family and friends want them to act a certain way that might not be easy to do or even right for them. If they do not agree and do what is best for themselves, they are called selfish and made to feel guilty. The worst type of guilt is the kind that is placed on you unnecessarily. I have realized that if I do what is right for me, there will never be any guilt attached to it, even if it happens to be wrong for you.

Sechel

There is a Yiddish word "Sechel". It means common sense and using your brain. There was an incident in work this weekend where sechel would have come in handy. After a new receptionist is there a few weeks, I give her the key to the office and the alarm code and verbal instructions on how to lock up. My boss called me yesterday to ask who left the office open all weekend. When her private cleaner came Sunday morning, the door was not locked. I asked the Saturday receptionist if she walked out without locking the door. She said yes. I asked why. She said that someone else told her that a cleaning crew comes in after hours to clean the office so there was no need to lock up since they would only be opening up later on. I asked her if that made sense. If she left the door open, anyone in the building could come in and steal equipment from us. There could be a time span of hours from when she left and the cleaners arrived. She said she never thought about it because she was listening to someone who was there longer than her. Upon asking the other receptionist, I was told the same thing. How dumb were these two girls to leave a doctor's office open for anyone to pilfer? From now on, I guess I have to talk to people like they are idiots.

Full Mailbox

How many messages does it take to fill your telephone voicemail? I do not know the exact number but I do know how annoying it is. I would think that there has to be at least 20 messages before no more can be let in. I always feel that a full voicemail is like a messy house. It is a clutter of words.

Priorities

The words busy and priorities go hand in hand. If someone is too busy to help you out, it just shows where you fall on their list of priorities. I see this with children of elderly parents. My sister and I do everything in our power to make our father the number one priority in our lives. Nothing is too hard or too time consuming to do if it helps him out. Since my mother got sick, we have never once said no to anything that was asked of us. Truth be told, we volunteered to do even more than was asked. We do it with a full heart and a smile on our faces. In comparison, I have a friend whose elderly mother lives with her. She has a sister who always seems too busy to help out in even the smallest of ways. She has a "ne'er do well" husband who agrees with her selfish ways. The other day, I heard my friend tell her mother that her sister should rot in hell. If her sister had her priorities straight, those words would have never been uttered.

Tombstones

I was reading an article about funny tombstones. When you think of it, an inscription on a tombstone is a blurb that sums up your entire life. Most people just stick to name, date and family status. John Doe, 1920-1999, Husband, Father, Grandfather. Cut and dry, no room for thought. Some people choose to go the other route. They want to make people smile, think and wonder. Who was this person? Why were they special? They seem to want to evoke an emotion from beyond the grave. I began to think what I would want on my tombstone, if I wanted to stray from the usual etchings. I would like my inscription to read, "She was nice to everyone. Look where it got her".

My Eyes

I heard a song the other day that made me stop and think. The line that touched my heart was, "If you say my eyes are beautiful, it's because they're looking at you". I understood that line deep in my soul. That is how I feel when I look at my children and grandchildren. I see the miracle of each of them and I can actually feel the wonder in my eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and I agree that what we take into them reflects what comes out of them. I want my windows to be clean and open. I never want them to be gray, foggy and closed. My children are too old to focus on my eyes as I look at them. My grandchildren are young enough to do it naturally. They look into my eyes and I can say their eyes are beautiful. It is because they are looking at me.

Child

At what point do we stop coddling our children? When does "your child" stop being treated like "a child'? I see this all the time when I interview parents that want their adult child to start treatment at my office. The children are over twenty years old but their parents still view them as people that cannot fend for themselves. They spend so much time worrying and micro managing, that their child cannot hone adult skills. If you constantly think for your child, they will never have the need to think for themselves. The worst offenders are the parents that stop their child from thinking independently. They cut them off in mid conversation, thinking that their words are more important. Occasionally I have to take a parent aside and point out that if they never let go and let their child think for themselves, they are crippling the person they want to help. I have even suggested that the parent needs therapy as they have created a situation that in some way fulfills their own needs.

Three Places

We all have our secret hiding spots. When something needs to be kept in a safe place, we choose one of them. I have one in my bedroom, one in my den and one in my kitchen. The spots are not meant to be for valuable items, they are meant to be for safe keeping. If I have something that I need to account for in the future without anyone throwing it away, I know where to stash it.

Traffic

Today all of the regular commuters will be talking about the "other" commuters. When the regular people sit in traffic, they will put the blame on the teachers. Today is the first day of school and the traffic pattern changes. As each person walks into my office, they will say that the teachers are back. The amount of cars traveling between 7am to 8am increases. That adds on travel time that makes people unhappy. Even though the calendar says otherwise, the summer is over.

In Between

Today is Labor Day. To me it is "in between" day. It is the place saver of seasons. It separates summer from the rest of the year. It is a not here not there day. We remember the wonderful days of our summer activities and look forward to the school and holiday season. The stores are almost done with school supplies as they hang witches and goblins from their windows. Is Easter far behind? I haven't worn pants since June but they are in my closet calling out to me. They know their time has come. I will go through today in an odd kind of mood.

Rest in Peace

Who made up the phrase "Rest in Peace?" We attribute that statement to death. Why can't we rest in peace and still be alive? When we go to sleep at night we are resting. When we have nothing on our mind, we are at peace. Why is the concept of resting in peace while alive so allusive? The answer is that as long as we are living we are never really at peace. We have daily problems or issues to resolve even if they have all become routine. We have jobs, family, bills and other assorted nonsense that we live with every day. When we lay our heads on our pillow at night, we know that when we wake up the same things will be there. There is no peace in the true sense of the word. So we just continue on our daily grind, waiting for the day we can rest in peace. It will be a well deserved respite.

The Egg

I love analogies. They give good advice in the form of a story that people can relate to. You can see points of view that would have otherwise been overlooked. I love the analogy of an egg to a relationship. The relationship can be with anyone you care about. If you put an egg in the palm of your hand, it is safe. If you hold onto it too tightly, it will crack. If you hold onto it too loosely, it will fall from your hand and break. If you let it sit in your hand calmly, in its natural state, it will be perfect. That is a wonderful lesson for how we treat relationships. 

Look Ahead

Does anyone think ahead? I read a few online articles this morning about people who are in trouble with the law or their employers. It is obvious that they lived in the moment and never thought that what they were doing was not right. I have often been called a worrier, as if it was a bad thing. I have explained that worriers usually don't have to pull themselves out of bad situations. It is the people that think nothing will happen to them that need a shovel to clean up the mess they have made.

Same Eyes, Same Ears, Different Experience

I brought up two good children. They are smart, sensible and have good values. I remember the years but I do not remember the days. The overall experience is in my memory bank but the details have faded. Now that I have grandchildren, I am seeing the details of childhood. My eyes see them playing and learning as each day passes. My ears hear their laughter and astounding thoughts for children their ages. Each week I see such a difference in appearance and demeanor. I guess that I was too busy doing the work of child rearing to notice everything my own children were doing. Now that my children are doing the work, I can reap the benefits.

Credibility

If you lose credibility, nothing you do will be looked at the same. One of my part time receptionists has lost her credibility with me and now we have a problem. I will have to call her into work to have a formal evaluation so I have documentation when I fire her. Years ago I would have just let her go,but nowadays I have to jump through hoops to make sure that I am politically correct, otherwise I look like the wrong one. How sad. The situation revolves around her being late and calling in sick just before her shift begins. The lateness is weekly and only by a few minutes, but if she was catching a train, the few minutes would mean that her ride was gone. Her "ride" is her job. For the past few weeks she has called in sick one half hour before she was to be at work. The first time she said she has an emergency doctor visit. The second time she had a car accident on her way to work. The third time she had to fast for a Hindu holiday and would be at the mandir (temple) all day. I looked up Hindu holidays and I cannot find one for yesterday. Now I am doubting if she had a car accident or if she has a serious illness that led to an emergency doctor visit. Without credibility there can be no trust.

Stand Your Ground

Sometimes it is hard to stand your ground. By doing so you look uncooperative even though you are right. Giving in or swaying to public opinion is the easy way out when a situation has two distinct sides to it. This type of situation is happening at work. We have a patient's family who is telling, not asking, me to bill his account a certain way to get more insurance money back. I will not do what he wants because it is not correct. I like patients to get maximum reimbursements back, but only in an honest way. He is trying to skew codes to fit what he thinks is good for him. My boss is wavering on what to do but I am standing my ground. I will not do what is not 100% true. It is getting to the point that I am looking uncooperative but I do not care. I will not go back and forth with the family through email. If they want to talk, they can call me. I am too smart to write emails that can be twisted. If my boss decides that she will do as they ask, I will log her into the system and have everything done under her name, by her hand. I will not be forced to comply.

Picture Perfect

From the moment I woke up yesterday, I knew the day would be perfect. The sun was as bright is it could be and the cool breeze was delightful. It was a picture perfect day for a wedding. When I arrived at the temple, the atmosphere was energetic. Everyone was there to share the joy of the upcoming marriage. The crowd was glowing as much as the bride was. Every person in the room was there to join in the happiness of a family that deserved nothing less than their best wishes. Seeing my niece being escorted down the aisle by her beaming parents brought tears to my eyes. I could see that the rest of the guests felt the same. The ceremony was meaningful as the bride and groom held hands through the entire service. The party was high energy from the moment we all walked into the room. I guess that is what happens when every guest brings such positivity into the room. I danced more than I ever have and enjoyed a delicious meal. The hours flew by as they always do when you are having fun. As I write this, I am looking at the flowers from the chuppa that were given in bouquets to each guest as they left. I will have fond memories of this day forever. Some days are just picture perfect because that is what they deserve to be.

Wedding

Today is my niece's wedding. It is also her father's birthday. Who would have thought that when my mother in law gave birth to her first child on this date, that child would have the same joy walking his first daughter down the aisle 71 years later. The first date was an unplanned one, but today's date was chosen. It is a testament to family history. It is a beautiful sunny day with perfect temperature. I am looking forward to seeing the beginning of a new wonderful life for my niece and soon to be nephew.

Routine

I am at the age where one change throws me off. I got up a bit  later than usual. Shelby didn’t eat. I got dressed later. Just now I realized that I forgot to write my blog. One change in routine messed up my thought pattern. Old age is setting in.

The 6:34

When you have a daily routine that is attached to a specific time, it becomes a part of your schedule. I have the 6:34am. It is not a train departure time, it is a phone call. Every weekday at 6:34am my telephone rings. It is my sister. I know that the day has begun. We talk about anything and everything. We laugh and we cry. We hash out the events of the day before and plan for the day ahead. When the phone call ends we are always smiling. Everyone should be on their own 6:34.

Numbers Up

Many times in life your "number is up". The one that makes us very unhappy is when the number comes in the form of the jury duty notice. Yesterday two people I know received the notice in the mail. One person has number 2951 and the other has number 171. Number 171 will have to go to the courthouse for sure. Number 2951 will just have to call in and the chances of a trip to the courthouse are slim to none. As soon as you open the notice, your mind is filled with thoughts of what you can do to avoid serving on the jury. The doctor's note is one option if you have a condition that is note worthy. Next people will say that they will just answer all of the questions in a negative way. They do not realize that the questions that are asked are not formed in a way that will excuse you. I heard the best method of avoidance yesterday. It involved eating a lot of garlic and then rubbing it on your body and underarms to smell so offensive that no one would want you to be in the room with them. Actually, I find that one quite creative.

My Way

One of Frank Sinatra's biggest hits is the song "My Way". Many things in life do not have a right or wrong way. They can be accomplished in many different ways, each one being correct. If the way they are done leads to a good ending, how can the method be criticized? Does the toilet paper roll pull from the top down or the bottom up? Does an omelette get flipped over or does it get cooked slowly until it is solid? Do we heat pizza with the tin foil open or closed? Do towels get folded in half or in thirds? There are no answers for these pressing questions. There is no better or worse way. If the method is admonished you can just say, "I did it my way."

Never Too Late

Yesterday I saw a short video clip from one of my old research assistants from work. It was the final moments from the view of a plane window, before his plane touched down in Hawaii. There were many comments saying congratulations. I was curious as to why he was now in Hawaii, so I contacted him. He was in Hawaii to do the final year of his psychology internship before he gets his PhD. Normally this would be a great story but the complete story shows how it is never too late to follow your dream. About six years ago, a man walked into my office and said that he was the new research assistant. Normally the assistants are 20 years old and are there to get experience so they can apply to graduate school. They are not paid as it is a volunteer position. This man was 42 years old. He was a cameraman for major television shows and commercials. He went back to school, got his degree and completed his first internship. Hawaii is his final step before becoming a doctor. I give him so much credit for following his dream.

Party Planner

I am usually the party planner at work. We all decide on the menu and I do the ordering. I also do the set up. Tomorrow one of the front desk girls is leaving. She will begin a PhD program and has no time for anything else. My boss wanted to be involved in the party planning and had some ideas for a nice meal. I was not involved as when too many "cooks" are discussing, it gets messy. Tomorrow is the party. My boss is stuck in a third world country. I think that everyone is assuming I will be taking care of things and that is not the case. If I ask my nasty receptionist what is going on, she will use her daily phrase, "Don't know, don't care". I do not plan to say a word. When tomorrow comes and nothing has been done, I will call down the block for three pizzas.

Signs or Coincidences

Are there really signs from our deceased loves ones or are there just coincidences that we turn into signs? I believe in signs and no one can tell me otherwise. If they did, it would just be their opinion as no one will ever know the answer, at least not while we are here on earth. I was at a family celebration yesterday and for a fleeting moment, I could not wait to get home to call my mother and tell her about it. It was a thought or maybe a familiar feeling, that lasted a nano second, where I forgot that she was no longer here. Once my mind was back to the present, I felt bad that she would never know about the wonderful day. When the event was over, I got into my car to leave. As we pulled away, on the windshield was a tiny bee, right in front of my eyes. It was walking up and down, almost like it was trying to get my attention. My husband never noticed it as it was only in my line of vision. This has happened twice before. Once was when my husband had surgery and I was eating dinner alone, a bee appeared on my food and walked up and down then flew away. The next time was when I was driving back to Long Island with my father. The bee sat directly in my line of vision and rode with us for miles, looking into the car. Prior to her death, I had never had any encounters with bees. I would have remembered one, as a bee usually frightens people and when we see one we take notice. I truly believe that the bee yesterday was a sign from my mother saying that she did in fact see what was going on. I wear a glass bee around my neck and her name was Bea. Sign or coincidence?    

Bad Judgement

Judgement comes from experience, so why do people have bad judgement when they know the previous outcome of a situation? My boss has an elderly mother. Two months ago they traveled to Florida to visit family. The mother felt sick, went to the emergency room and stayed in bed for most of the trip. They made the trip home and my office was relieved. Knowing that this situation happened, how could my boss book a trip to a foreign country for her and her mother? The week prior to leaving, her mother was at the doctor almost every day. She was not feeling well and had many tests. In their infinite wisdom and terrible judgement, they kept their plans and flew half way across the world. What do you think happened? She got sick and has been in the hospital for the last week with infections, congestive heart failure and pneumonia. My boss has to remain there with her indefinitely. This morning I got an email asking if Medicare will pay for any of these expenses. No, it won't. We all warned her not to travel with her mother, but her bad judgement overruled our good judgement.

Drive

Does your mind posses an idea or does an idea posses your mind? I call an idea that possesses your mind a driving force. Everyone has thoughts and plans, but many times they never come to fruition. When a thought gets so entwined in your brain that it is all you can think of, things usually get done. Most successful people have been working on their success for years. It was not fleeting. Their idea came into their mind and would not leave. It possessed it. The only way to drive it out was to do the task that was asked of it. That is what I mean by driving force.

No. It is a complete sentence with only one word.  I proved that yesterday for one of my employees. A new girl has been working for us for six months. We see great potential in her and decided to train her for a more administrative position. Along with that comes a raise. The promotion idea started with her asking for a raise and if she did not get one she was giving 2 weeks notice. She is 33 years old, a college graduate and very smart. She took the job for a small salary. More than minimum wage on Long Island, but less than minimum wage in the city. She saw potential here and gave it six months. If there was no movement in responsibilities she was moving on. My boss agreed that she would be a good addition to our management team in the future. I asked the girl what her salary requirement was and she told me. It was reasonable. After much discussion, the co-director talked with her and told her she was moving up. She would get a small raise to train and another raise after 6 weeks. The girl reluctantly agreed because she did not feel comfortable arguing about the salary. She called me up to tell me that she felt upset about the two step raise as we know her work ethic, and she was insulted. I called the co-director and told her that the plan she presented was not good. She said she thought it was fine. I said, "No". One word. She knew I was serious about this so she said, "Okay, the girl will get the full raise as of Monday". One word, one sentence, one positive outcome.

Keeping Afloat

Your boat cannot sink if the water is not allowed to get into it. The same holds true for your attitude. If you keep a tight seal around positivity, negativity cannot bring you down. There is one more variable to the mix and that is reality. It is like a formula in a laboratory. If you take reality and mix it with positivity, you get happiness. If you take reality and add negativity to it, you get unhappiness. How many times have you been in a situation that might not be good, but if you put a positive spin on it, it will be easier to deal with? This method of coping with life makes living life a bit easier. Maybe I am just a lazy person who uses positive energy for my own peace of mind.

Acceptable

I was babysitting my granddaughters for three days and learned a good lesson. I had the opportunity to be with them 24 hours a day for three days and get to know them in their daily routine and see their personalities. It was more than the usual grandma visit. It was living with them. They are smart and happy girls. They are very verbal and have common sense. Here is where the lesson comes in. We were doing an art project and at first it did not turn out the way my 3 year old granddaughter wanted. She picked it up to show me and said, "Grandma, this is not acceptable". I showed her another painting method and her project came out just how she wanted it to be. The phrase "not acceptable" stuck in my mind. Sometimes I accept things that are not right and make excuses for them. Yesterday I decided to make an effort to not accept what I do not like. I was in work on a phone call and I turned to ask my receptionist a quick scheduling question. She answered it and then made an annoyed sound like a grunt. That was not acceptable. I put the call on hold and turned to her to tell her that huffing and puffing at me when I ask her a question is rude and it better not happen again. She was shocked. I have never done that to her. Usually I just ignore her rudeness. She was upset the rest of the day, but I did not care. From now on, if someone's behavior is not to my liking I will do what is necessary to make myself happy. I will no longer accept the unacceptable.

Musical History

It was a long ride home yesterday, but since it was a beautiful day it did not seem to bother me. I had my 60's radio station on and listened to a new show that I normally would not have, since I am never in the car that late. The playlist was wonderful and each song held a lot of meaning. The one that left me thinking was "Blowin' in the Wind" by Peter, Paul and Mary. Sometimes there are no concrete answers for questions that are asked. Sometimes the questions should never have been asked at all. Sometimes the answer is no ones business. Sometimes if you answer truthfully, there are 10 more back up questions that become draining. From now on when I feel that I do not want to answer a question, I will say that the answer is blowin' in the wind.

Great Weekend

There is an expression from Buddha that says something about the more people you love, the more emotions you feel. I just left my granddaughters and am on the road home. I already miss them. We really bonded and the hugs I got when I left showed that they feel the same.