One Door Closes

Tonight is New Years Eve. The door of 2013 will close and the door of 2014 will open. I can best describe 2013 by using a quote from "A Tale of Two Cities". It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. My father had to start dialysis and the procedures to enable him to do so were grueling. I am not sure I could have withstood them as well as he did. As bad as the procedures were, was as good as the outcome. He is doing very well and has his strength back. Other than spending a few hours a day, a few days a week at dialysis, his life is as full as it had been. I call dialysis his part time job. This year my grandson was born prematurely. He weighed 3.9 pounds and stayed in intensive care for 32 days. Eight months later, he is a healthy 16 pound boy who has the most delightful personality. He is a joy to be around. When all is said and done, 2013 brought health and happiness. I can only pray that 2014 will be as good.

Back to Work

It has been a week since I was at work. It feels like longer than that. I will find 4 days of mail sitting on my desk. There will be many calls to return. I will have a full mail slot. By noon, everything will be done. I work systematically and after this many years at one job, it is like fitting a puzzle together. Step one comes before step 2 and so on. If I do each task at a decent pace, I will catch up and by tomorrow I will be back on schedule. The holiday weeks turn everything upside down. Now that the holiday has passed, we can all return to normal.

Change

I often say, "Life is change and change is good". Change is not easy. It puts us out of our comfort zone, but once we acclimate it feels right. Sometimes in life as we mature, we change but others around us do not. In most cases the change is for the better. Even though it is hard to change, it is harder and many times almost impossible to change back to what once was. Change means we have grown and learned. Changing back means we are taking a step backwards and that would not be good. That is how people grow apart. I have seen this happen to many friendships.

Take Over

Whenever I travel, I take along my small laptop computer. I write my blog and check email on it and do not have to use a public computer. This weekend, when I went to write the blog I typed in one of my other email addresses and then realized that it was not the address I associate with the blog. The addresses are off by one letter. For some reason I could not clear out the email address. Google kept giving me a message that said something like, "One account makes things easy". I closed the browser and started again and the wrong address was still there. There were no options to change the email name. I had to use internet explorer to write the blog. For three days Google locked in the wrong address. Finally on the fourth day, I tried every way I could think of to get rid of the name. The best I could come up with was to add the correct address and have the ability to alternate between the two. This is the reason why I do not use a public computer.

More Goodbyes

I used to think it was hard saying goodbye to my son after we visited him. Now it is even harder since my granddaughter was born. Last year she was a newborn so I just gave her a big kiss. She was only ten days old and slept for the entire visit. This year she is walking and playing and interacting with us. When it was time to go, I just wanted one more kiss. Then one more smile. Then one more laugh. I wanted to remember every minute of watching her run through the house after her bath. Soaking wet and smelling wonderful. I wanted to remember the smell of kissing her cheek that was full of apple cranberry pumpkin smoothie. I wanted to remember holding her tiny fingers that were damp from having them in her mouth. I won't see her for a few months and Skype does not have the same effect. Saying goodbye only gets harder.

The Day After

It is December 26. The day after Christmas. For some people it is a good day. For some people it is not. Some families have wonderful memories they can dwell on. Some families wish they could forget the past day. Some presents were loved. Some were hated. A good majority of both will be returned today. The lines we hated to wait on to purchase the gifts will be the same lines we loathe when we wait to return them. I am not a monetary person. The price or size of  a gift never meant anything to me. People place too much importance on "things" this season and do not realize that the only true gifts are family, health and love.

Cupie Doll

I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter in law, granddaughter and  my "extended family". Over the past 12 years, her family has become my family. I could not find a nicer group of people if I searched for them. When I walked into their house, I saw a tiny living doll. My granddaughter is a very petite girl, only 28 1/2 inches tall. She is a bit less than 17 pounds. She has ten feet of energy packed into her. She played and walked and babbled and smiled all night long. When it came time to tuck her in for the night, she was having none of that. She wanted to stay up with the big people. The only way to get her to sleep was to leave. We will see her again today at 1pm and my son will be there for an hour. He has to go to work today. Tomorrow we will have a full day with him.

Back To New England

We are just about to get in the car and head back to New England. We made the same trip a week ago for my granddaughter's birthday. This time I will have a bit more alone time with her. We  always spend one day of this trip with just our family, so I plan to make the most of it playing with my precious little girl. Last year at this time she was a newborn and had no idea what was happening. This year she is walking and playing and interacting with her environment. I can hardly wait to get up there.

Age Appropriate

I was taking a walk in my local shopping center yesterday morning. It was a beautiful December day, warm and sunny, and people decided to act "spring like". As I walked to the stores I saw people washing their cars and doing lawn work. There was at least one car with its top down. As I was walking into the main area of the shopping center, a beautiful shiny Corvette drove by. It was immaculate and had vanity plates. It stopped along the fire zone, which many people do when they just want to run into the store for a minute. The car door swung open and I saw a person in the car, but no one got out right away. I saw movement like twisting and turning, but still no person. After about three minutes I saw an old man, maybe in his 70's, maneuver out of the car almost facing backwards. It was obvious that his bones could no longer conform to a car so low and contoured. It looked almost painful. I kept walking, but should have stayed just to see how he got back in.

Special Gift

Today is my birthday. I cannot believe that the person looking back at me in the mirror, is actually me. I am 58 today, but I still feel like I am in my 30's. My mindset is young.  Each year when my birthday rolls around, I reflect on how lucky I am. I do not need any gifts because I have something more valuable than anything on earth. I have my entire family. At 58 years old, I still have both of my parents. They are 90 years old and still partake in every type of activity that their younger friends do. I have a sister who would move heaven and earth for me. I have a husband that has never said a bad word to me in 32 years. I have two sons that have exceeded every expectation I ever had for them. They are good family men and both chose wonderful wives. I have two precious grandchildren that are happy and healthy. What other gift could I possible get that could out do the ones that G-d has given me?

Six Great Years

Today is Shelby's birthday. He is six years old. I never could have imagined that a little blond ball of fluff could bring a family such happiness. When we first decided to get another dog, I only wanted a miniature one. We went to the pet store and ordered one. We had to wait for almost 2 months for him to be born. I wanted the dog to only weigh about 5 pounds when fully grown. When Shelby arrived from Missouri, he weighed 2 pounds. He was half the size of my shoe. He was too little to walk up the 2 inch incline from my lawn to my deck, so I had to carry him. Just like with a baby, there is a period of adjustment, as any newborn life needs to settle in to its new routine. Shelby grew and grew and grew and is now 16 pounds. He is the happiest, most loving, playful dog you could ever meet. Shelby was the best addition to our family.

Say It With Flowers

I was surprised in work yesterday when a large bouquet of flowers was delivered to me. As the delivery man walked in with them, everyone in the front office said the usual, "I wonder who those are for?" There were 2 bouquets. Whenever flowers are delivered to someone at work, you can't wait to find the card to see who they are meant for. These flowers were for me and my morning receptionist. If I had to guess the price I would say each one was $75 with delivery. They were sent to us by one of our research volunteers. He is a 40 year old man who decided to become a psychologist. His current job is a cameraman for commercials and movie productions.  Since admittance into a psychology graduate program is so competitive, a letter from my boss pulls a lot of weight. That is why he has spent this year as her assistant doing everything and anything she asks of him. As we do with all of our staff, when they start they are welcomed in as family. When I called him to tell him he was crazy to spend so much money on the flowers, he said that we deserved 100 times that. He said he has never been so warmly welcomed in any job and learned so much from us. I took a picture of the flowers so I can still see their beauty long after they die.

Drive Through Medicine

Years ago there were country doctors. They had their practice out of their homes and you did not need an appointment. They even made house calls. Medicine evolved and became more like a big business. Doctors started booking appointments every ten minutes and the wait time was sometimes hours. We all sat and waited quietly as we revered the doctor like he was royalty. The tides are turning now. Urgent care practices are opening up in every town. I had a sore throat yesterday and the thought of going to my primary care doctor and waiting for an hour made me feel worse. I have been to urgent care facilities before and they were great. A new Premier Care opened up in my town, so I decided to go there and see a doctor for my throat. The office was spacious, clean and state of the art. I checked in at the front desk and was taken in immediately. A nurse took my vital signs and another nurse took my history. Within 3 minutes a nice doctor walked into the room and checked my throat. He gave me a strep test, which was negative. He diagnosed me with sinusitis and then he sent my prescription electronically to my local pharmacy. All of this took 15 minutes. When I arrived at the pharmacy, the Rx was waiting for me. I do not think I will ever go to my primary care doctor for routine visits anymore. This way is so much easier and they are opened 365 days a year.

Slip and Slide

Driving to work yesterday was like trying to navigate a luge course. A drive that normally takes 15 minutes, took close to 2 hours. Cars were on the shoulder facing sideways and backwards. They were the lucky ones. Other cars were just piled up in a mess of metal. People say that they are afraid to drive in the snow. Snow, at least has traction. Icy roads are the dangerous ones. I made it to and from work safely, and that is all that counts.

Holiday Party

Today from 11am to 1pm is my annual office pot luck luncheon. For some reason this year people have become lazy and do not want to cook. If they had things their way we would all bring paper plates and napkins. The people that used to cook now want to bring cake. It is turning into a pot luck dessert party. The menu is as follows: chicken, rice, dry macaroni and cheese and 6 desserts. I do not think there will be enough chicken to feed everyone, so the dessert people need to be fed last. It is also the day we exchange gifts. I hope I do not get 10 candles.

Pajamas

After the long ride home from Massachusetts, we stopped off to fill up with gas. Next to us was a woman in a hat and her pajamas. At first we thought it was very odd that a woman would only be wearing a hat and pajamas. We looked a bit closer and noticed that her car had a flat tire. Had she known that she would have to stop and get out of her car, she probably would have dressed differently. I know that for a fact because the same thing happened to me about 20 years ago. I was driving my son to a friend's house at 4am. They were going away for the weekend. The friends house was 1 mile away. I got in the car with my pajamas and never bothered to take my cell phone. After 1/2 mile my car just died in the middle of the street. It was as if someone pulled the plug. The ignitor gave out. Not the ignition, the ignitor. Who knew a car had an ignitor? I had my son run to my sister's house and they called AAA for a tow. When the tow truck came, there I was in my pajamas. After that, I always dress in regular clothes when I leave the house and never forget my cell phone.

Electra

The storm is just about over and in a few hours we will begin the ride home. We had such a great time celebrating our granddaughter's first birthday. She opened up her gifts and loved each one of them. As usual, my son ordered too much food and there was enough cake to cater a second party. We will be returning in 10 days for the holidays. Hopefully the snow will stay away.

Party Day

This afternoon is the big first birthday party. I blinked my eyes and a year flew by. We spent some alone time with my granddaughter, watching her open the presents that we gave to her. My son and daughter in law wanted her to know who gave her the gifts, as today will be hectic with so many people around. As she opened each box, she clapped and giggled and played. She tried to show her cousin what she got, but he was too busy smiling and cooing. This morning we will take our usual walk at the Legacy Mall, while my younger son and his family swim at their hotel pool. We are watching the snow forecast as we will be traveling home tomorrow. The same trip will be made again  in 10 days.

On The Road

We are getting on the road to see my granddaughter for her first birthday. My grandson will be coming along to play with his "older" cousin. I hoped for better weather this weekend, but I am not Mother Nature. It is bitter cold out, so we are bundling up like we are headed to Alaska. We will have a family dinner at a restaurant tonight and there will be a party on Saturday. I will be doing this same trip again in ten days for my usual holiday visit.

One Year

Today my granddaughter is one year old. The year has flown by. She is now walking and is exploring every inch of the world that surrounds her. A lot has happened this year. At this time last year, no one knew that there would be another grandchild on the way. Tomorrow we are all going to New England to celebrate at the birthday party. Just as I have seen my granddaughter grow, so has my son. He is a doting father who now knows how much joy a child can bring into your life. He now understands why, at 33 years old, his mother still looks at him like he is the most wonderful child in the world.

I Want It Now

Yesterday the water heater in my boss's house broke. She called her oil company and they said it would cost $4800 to replace it. She thought it was too expensive. She asked what they would charge for labor only if she got the unit herself. They said $1200. When she came into the office my job was to track down the unit and get someone to install it "now". There is no "now" when it comes to installations. I tracked down the unit for $1800, but they deliver to the front of the house. They do not bring it to the basement. They said it weighs 1000 lbs. She says it weighs 385 lbs. I would think they know better. I called 5 companies to ask the price for installation. One said $3500 and the other four said they need to come down and see the job. One company charges $175 for the estimate. I gave my boss the information and she said to tell them she needs the installation "now", so they need to give her a price over the phone. By then it was 2pm which is the time I go home. I gave the papers to my receptionist and walked out. This morning I will find out what happened, but I can bet you she still has no hot water.

Idioms

Next Tuesday my office is having its Pot Luck Holiday Luncheon. I call it the "Same Old Food" party. I printed up a sign in sheet so each person could list what they will be bringing. I then filled in the dishes for half of the doctors. Spinach pie, macaroons, dried out macaroni and cheese and greasy samosas. The new people will have to figure out what they will add to the menu. One doctor usually brings wine, but at last week's holiday party another doctor drank too much, so I decided to turn the wine into soda. When I posted the list, our new intern from Italy asked if he needed to bring a pot holder. I explained the difference between pot holders and pot luck. I then realized how odd the expression pot luck was. Why don't we call it fork fortune?

Favors

Today I am writing about favors. Not the kind you do for people, but the kind you give to people. I was at a bridal shower yesterday and we played the usual party games. As each game ended a prize was given. They were familiar looking gifts, placed in shiny shopping bags. In one bag was a scented hand cream. In another was a candle. The next one contained a scented body splash. These types of gifts seem to be the standards at all parties, but no one truly wants them. They are either a scent we do not like or a candle that would have no where to be displayed. If it is close to the holidays, we sometimes pawn  them off on co workers. I am proposing a new type of gift. Something useful. How about a box of elbow macaroni? Maybe some apples and pears. A jar of decaf instant coffee would always come in handy. I want to take my prize home and be glad I won it and not have to think about where to hide it.

Pecking Order

This afternoon I am going to a bridal shower. One of my receptionists got married last month. She did a reverse order. She became engaged on a Tuesday and married on that Friday. Today is the bridal shower and next Sunday is the religious wedding. Years ago there was a pecking order of life events. Date, engaged, married and then children. Nowadays it is a crap shoot. The order can be any combination. My receptionist's order is due to immigration circumstances. Her longtime boyfriend finished his internship, but due to the economy his company could not hire him as a full time worker. Hence, the rushed wedding. In her culture, unless you are married in a religious ceremony, you cannot live together. She still lives with her parents in her bedroom and her husband lives at her parent's house in the basement. After the formal wedding next week he will be allowed upstairs. They will look for an apartment after the new year. I am looking forward to a fun afternoon.

The Masses

My father has an expression that says, "The masses are the a**es". I find this to be especially true during the holiday season. This morning, one of my friends has been camping out at the mall since 5am, with hundreds of other "masses" in order to buy Nike sneakers. The sneakers cost a few hundred dollars. They are not made of gold or silver. They are made of leather and cloth. They are the newest design, that in January, will be the older model. The reason why Nike can charge this absurd price is because absurd people will pay it. Let's get a reality check. They are sneakers. They do not make you smarter and in fact, if you spend that kind of money, I question your sensibility. The CEO's of brands like Apple and Nike really know psychology. Like sheep being led to the slaughter, so are the consumers who wait in line to buy their products. Enjoy the product today, because there is a newer model in production as you wait in line.

Patience

We are a society of pharmaceuticals. We have pills for every ailment. Pills for medical reasons. Pills for psychological reasons. Pills for every part of our bodies, inside and out. The one pill that is not manufactured is one for patience. Patience does not come naturally to most people. Nerves get frayed and tempers flare easily. There is no need for that kind of behavior. The elderly become the target of many people's lack of patience. If we are lucky, we will all grow old someday and would want the respect that we deserve. Are we all in so much of a rush that we cannot take a few moments longer to get our point across? When I have an elderly patient and their adult child at my reception window, I only address the patient. Nothing is ruder than speaking around an elderly person as if they cannot comprehend. Even if I have to clarify information a few times, it doesn't matter. One day, I will be the elderly woman at the window.

The Other Guy

Two month's ago we had a flood in my office. The overhead pipe broke and it was like Niagara Falls. The first day, the owners of the unit above us came into my office and took responsibility. Over the next few weeks, their concern grew less and less. Although they are insured and their adjuster inspected the damage, they are trying to shirk their responsibility. Somehow the promise of reimbursement has never come to be. At first I was pleasant to everyone I was dealing with, but now I have to be nasty. How can a large company like North Shore LIJ ignore the fact that they caused a flood. Now there will be certified letters and documented phone calls and basically a waste of my time, forcing a company to do the right thing.

Estranged

When I moved in to my house 32 years ago, our next door neighbors became our good friends. At the time I was in my late twenties and they were in their late forty's. We considered them family and were very close for almost 11 years. When my son turned 13 he wanted a basketball hoop for his birthday. We were going to install it at the edge of our lawn and sink it into concrete for stability. Before we did that we asked the neighbors if it was okay with them, as the end of their lawn joins the beginning of ours. The husband said it would be great and he would be looking forward to playing with it. We hired a handyman and the hoop was installed. Later that night, the neighbor came to our door and said that his wife did not like how the hoop looked. We said that we gave them the consideration of asking if it was okay prior to the installation and now that it was cemented in, it was there to stay. The location of it would insure that no one would be running on their grass, only on my driveway. The neighbor said he wanted it removed and we said it was too late for that. Push came to shove literally and when my older son stepped in to separate the pushing, the neighbor punched him in his head. That was the end of the friendship. For 15 years I never looked their way. As I got older, the memories of that ugly day faded and when I saw the male neighbor, we began to nod hello. Then we began to exchange pleasantries. I never really saw his wife as she was an in and out of car person. Three weeks ago, I saw them at a restaurant and walked over to their booth to say hello. The man was very friendly. His wife turned her head away. I felt bad and said to myself that I was never going to try to speak to her again. She died suddenly yesterday. What a shame that she had a chance to mend fences, but choose to hold onto a grudge.

The List

Yesterday when I came into work, I found a list on my desk. My boss had a free hour on Friday and she went from office to office with one of her underlings and jotted down what she wants changed. As they say, idle hands are the devil's workshop. The list had about 30 items on it and 28 were so ridiculous that I actually laughed out loud. Here is an example:

• Can we throw out the ugly router in the secretaries office? (Sure, but if we do we will need to hire someone to stand outside our window and hold a wire hanger to catch the internet rays)
• Can we replace the large surge protector with a small 4 prong plug? (Sure, and then when the lights go off an on and burn out the computer we can buy a new one)
• Can we remove the ugly black box from the back wall? (I don't know about you, but if I see a box hard wired into a wall, I wouldn't pull it out)
• Can we bolt the keyboard onto the desk so it won't move? (No, just type less aggressively)
• Can we call Bob's Furniture and have our chair replaced? (No, it is 5 years old and nothing is wrong with it)

There were 25 more crazy requests. I must say that the  insanity of the list was like a comedy routine. Who knows what will be waiting for me this morning.

Bad Signs

I was traveling on the Northern State Parkway the other day and saw a car on the side of the road. It was sitting on the grass in between exits. It looked like it had broken down and not able to start. Its owner had left it there, probably waiting for a friend to come and help get it or a tow truck. The thing that caught my eye was a sign in the passenger's window that said "For Sale". It struck me as being funny. Who would want to take down the telephone number of a car that is sitting broken on the side of the road?

Retail Reality

Each year, retailers are getting more insensitive to family values. It started when Black Friday slowly crept its way into Thursday. First it was 5am, then 3am, then midnight madness. This year it started 6pm on Thanksgiving Day. Workers had to cut their holiday short to return to work so that consumers could fight and push each other to get the best deals. The stores thought that this would double their business revenue. In reality, the numbers stayed the same. When people have a certain amount of money to spend on gifts, they will do their best to spread it around on the best deals. When the budget is gone, the consumer is done spending. It doesn't matter which day the money  leaves their pocket. Many people finished their Thanksgiving meal and piled into their cars to go shopping. They spent their money on the "doorbuster" sales and went home happy. On Black Friday, the shoppers who shopped on Thursday, stayed home. They remained home on Saturday too. They were gearing up for Cyber Monday. I was at the mall on Saturday and it was empty. I asked if Friday had been busy and most salespeople told me that the stores were empty then too. So, all that the greedy stores did, was have their workers cut their holiday short and not profit any more from it. I would like to know who thinks up these strategies?

Puppies and Babies

The best way to meet people is to either walk a puppy or push a baby stroller. It is like wearing a magnet on your back. Young and old cannot resist coming up to you and starting a conversation. Since I walk Shelby in the backyard I diminish my chances of any encounters. If I have one, that would mean that a stranger has come onto my property. Not a good thing. On the other hand, I take my grandson to the mall or the town pool, so there is a wealth of new friends waiting to happen. Before I even put the brake on the stroller, a crowd gathers. Kids ask if they can look at him.  Their parents ask how old he is. Everyone agrees that he is cute. All babies are cute, so I don't let it go to my head. We exchange stories about what our own kids did at this age and how good it is to be pushing a carriage after 30 years. All in all, you cannot go wrong with anything that is a miniature.

Good Samaritan, Great Location

Yesterday we took the long ride to New Jersey for Thanksgiving dinner. So did everyone else. The fifty mile trip took almost 2 1/2 hours. We expected the traffic, so no one cared. As we were getting off of the Triborough Bridge (I am old school and will still call it Triborough), a man driving in the next lane started to honk his horn. It was the type of honk people do when they need you to roll down your window for directions. We rolled down the window and he said that our front passenger tire was very low. The car had driven well and did not pull to the side as it normally would when a tire was low. We thanked the man and then became worried about the tire being so low that it would become flat. At this point we were in Harlem, making the turn from 125th street onto Second Avenue, in order to connect to the Harlem River Drive. We looked at each other trying to figure out what to do next, when we looked 100 feet ahead of us. There it was, a BP gas station with an air machine. What are the odds of that? We pulled in and checked the tire, which was very low on air. We filled it up until it was firm and hoped for the best. We drove to and from New Jersey and the tire never lost air. We were lucky that a good samaritan cared enough to make us aware of the problem.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is my favorite holiday. I will celebrate it with my sister's extended family. This year, I was asked to make the stuffing. I just finished it and it looks great. If people love it and ask for the recipe, I will tell them exactly how it was made. On Wednesday, I baked two homemade breads using Fleishman's self rising yeast. Early Thursday morning, I cut the homemade bread into small 3/4 inch cubes. I hand toasted the bread in a cast iron pot that I inherited from my grandmother on my father's side. I then put a chicken in a pot and slowly boiled the water so that I would have a delicate chicken broth to add to the lightly browned toasted cubes. (9 cups of water). I froze the chicken for future use. I then went in my backyard garden for carrots, mushrooms and onions that had been waiting for just the right moment to be harvested. I chopped them on a diagonal and simmered them in freshly pressed olive oil that had been made the previous week. I added golden raisins from my daughter in law's father's grapevine. I folded together all of the ingredients until they were at the peak of fluffiness. I baked the stuffing at 370 degrees for 45 minutes. OK, I really used Stove Top Stuffing, but I bet I made you smile. Happy Holiday.

Hectic Travel

The day before Thanksgiving is the heaviest travel day. This year it will be worse than others. The weather has been very erratic. I went to sleep shivering last night and woke up to 60 degrees this morning. Tomorrow it will drop into the 30's again. The storm that is disrupting the weather is also disrupting people's travel plans. Over 1200 flights were cancelled last night, just in this area. Nothing is worse than waiting in an airport and watching the board say "cancelled". At that point, things are out of your control. I had that happen once on a Jet Blue flight home from Florida. A storm in New York prevented our takeoff. I sat for five hours, thinking I would be an airport captive forever. I hope that the weather clears up and all of the weary travelers arrive at their holiday destinations.

Motivationaly Speaking

When I give my lecture on " Fears, Worries and Concerns", I start off by asking this question: When was the last time, you did something for the first time? Most people sit and think. I do not mean eating a new food. I mean having a new experience. My last first, was a few months ago when I did a staff development day at a local university. Somehow, I was hired to teach the teachers. I was booked for two hours, which is a big time slot to fill without me boring people. I researched and wrote and memorized. My goal was to speak for two hours and be interactive, without looking at a cue card. I was able to do that and I did not see any closed eyes.  Doing a new thing at any age feels good. It shows that we can still grow and strive for new experiences. 

Outstanding Job

The last loose end of my parents "migration" south was having their car delivered to them. They used a recommended auto transport company based in Florida that makes the New York to Florida trip weekly. They were promised to have their car picked up in NY last Tuesday at 1pm. Like clockwork the car was picked up. It was supposed to be delivered on Saturday so my sister could help them unpack. They received a call on Friday that the truck had mechanical problems and would be delayed until Sunday at 1pm. My sister told Anthony, the owner, that this would be a problem as she was there to lift the suitcases out of the trunk. My father is not supposed to lift heavy items due to his vein graft. Anthony said he would make a note of that. On Sunday at 1pm, the car arrived. It came sparkling clean, just out of a car wash. The two truck drivers told my parents that they would unpack the entire car for them. My parents said that the suitcases would be fine. They said that they wanted to unpack totally and bring everything into the rooms that they belonged in. They made a few trips back and forth until the car was empty and the bags were in the bedroom and living room.They did this all with a smile. My parents and sister both independently called Anthony to thank him. What this company did was above and beyond. It is nice to find people that do an outstanding job.

D.A.N.

I used to be a confident DAN. Now I am a less confident DAN. DAN is not a person, it is an acronym. It stands for Drives At Night. I used to be a great night driver, but as my eyes grow older I feel less confident. If I know the route that I am traveling, I do not have a problem. If the route is new or unfamiliar, I find it harder. This afternoon I have to pick my sister up at La Guardia Airport at 4pm. It is light out then, but it is a windy day so I hope the flight is on time. If not, I may need to drive at night. The parkway will not be a problem, but the entrance on will. I will sit and wait until there is an opening a mile long before I merge on. For some reason the nights have become darker.

What a Dollar Can Buy

A dollar can buy a lot of items, especially if you shop at the dollar store. They carry items that include stationary, frozen food, snacks, household items, automotive items, make up. toiletries, clothes and even reading glasses. There is one thing that you cannot buy in the dollar store, at least in the Dollar Tree. Hanukkah decorations. I needed to get a few decorations for my office just to add to our old decorations. I went into the Dollar Tree and wandered through the holiday aisle. Maybe I should just say Christmas aisle. Don't get me wrong, I love the holiday spirit and the beauty of Christmas decorations, but I think there needs to be a balance. I looked in the three holiday aisles and there was not one Hanukkah item. Not one. I asked the salesgirl and after she thought for a moment she said that they were mixed in with all of the other decorations. I looked again and still saw nothing. I asked her if the store had even ordered any Hanukkah items and she said that she did not remember seeing any. How disappointing that a store in New York, the state with almost as many Jewish people as Florida,  did not have Hanukkah decorations in their inventory. I went to the next dollar store, which was owned by Pakistani people and that is where I bought my wall hangings, window clings and candles. I am so disappointed in the Dollar Tree and will write to their corporate office. From now on I will buy at the small independent stores. They understand their clientele.

Settling In

Did you ever have a day that just went well? At the end of the day you think back and realize that things ran so smoothly. That is the day my parents had yesterday. They arrived at the airport at 8am for an 11am flight. As they sat at the gate they saw that there was a 9:30am flight. They asked if there were seats on that flight. Not only were there seats, but they were the same seat numbers that they had chosen for the later flight. They arrived in Florida almost 2 hours ahead of schedule. They decided to visit the new dialysis center, so when my father has his treatment on Saturday he would know the ropes. They arrived at the center and everyone knew his name. He was welcomed so warmly. They went food shopping and then back to their apartment to see how it held up while they were away for 7 months. Everything was in perfect order. By 6pm all of their chores were done and they could relax and have dinner. Today will be a day of relaxation, hopefully at the pool.

Capistrano

The swallows are returning to Capistrano. In other words, my parents are flying back to Florida this morning. After a long, tiring few months, they are finally returning to their other home. This is the first time that they will be flying down. They usually take the auto train. The long ride is no longer doable. My sister will be escorting them back. They could go alone, but we tend to hover over them and worry, so escorting them is more for us, than for them. She will get them settled and wait for their car to arrive from the transport truck. She will then return home. We are hoping they will have their usual winter fun and activities. I will go down in May to escort them home. I am happy beyond words, because after this summer's medical issues we were not sure they would go back. Fly little birds, fly.

Curb Appeal

Every year in my neighborhood, a member of the Veteran's of Foreign War comes and paints my curb. They paint a streak of paint on the edge of my curb. A few hours later, they come and stencil my house numbers onto the paint streak. A few hours later, they ring my bell and ask for money. As I came home from work, I saw the curb being painted. At eight o'clock last night my doorbell rang and someone started knocking on the door. It was the kind of knock that a family member makes, but I knew my family was at work. I went to the door and looked out of the peep hole. It was a strange man. I asked who it was and he said, 'Veteran's of Foreign War".  I said I  would not open the door since it was dark and I did not know him. He snapped back in a nasty tone, "I just told you Veteran's of Foreign War". I said that if he left an envelope in my mailbox I would mail in my donation. Again, he snapped back, "We don't do that. We want cash". I then said, "Sorry", and walked away from my door. I would have given a donation but I refuse to give a demand.

Scheduling

I went to see one of my doctors yesterday afternoon. His office is located near a hospital and parking is terrible. The lot is small and usually full. After circling the neighborhood two times, I found a parking spot that was legal for 90 minutes. Great. Who needs more than 90 minutes? I walked to the office and checked in at 1:50pm for a 2pm appointment. There were 4 people ahead of me. I waited and waited. Now it was 2:55pm and the 90 minute limit was approaching fast. The town that the office is in, is very strict and gives out $80 parking tickets. I went to the front receptionist and said that I had been waiting for over one hour and my meter would expire in 20 minutes. She said she was sorry there was a wait. I said, "If I get a ticket, I am sending it to your office to pay. There is no reason for anyone to wait one hour for a visit." She looked at me like I was nuts. I then said, "I am serious. The ticket will be sent here. If you knew how to properly schedule appointments there should be no more than a few minutes wait. I have managed two offices and we never had wait time because we scheduled properly". Within 2 minutes I was taken in to an exam room, heard the receptionist get the doctor and tell him I was angry. The doctor rushed into the room in one minute. He was very pleasant and I received the usual care. I made it back to the meter with 2 minutes to spare.

Night Worker's

Most people panic when their telephone rings in the middle of the night. I panic when my phone rings in the morning. My family has always worked the night shift. A telephone call after twelve a.m. is normal. A phone call at 3am is normal. Just do not call my house at 7am or 8am. Then, I will panic. Just now my phone rang. It is 7am. Most people would think nothing of it. It rang once and stopped. The caller ID was from my daughter in law in Massachusetts. I saw the number and my heart raced. I waited a few minutes and she did not call back, so I called her.It seems that her new phone dialed out when she was taking a picture. What a relief.

Pack It In

Years ago, my husband's grandfather had an expression that he used to say when he wanted to go home. He would say "pack it in". For the past 30 years, my family has coined this phrase. We say it when we are ready to move on to another place. Today, I am going to Brooklyn to help my parents "pack it in". Their car is being transported to Florida on Tuesday and we need to fill it with all of their suitcases and duffel bags. They take enough clothes to wardrobe the neighborhood. They already have full closets in both locations. So, today we will "pack it in" and help them move on to a wonderful winter.

25/8

I know we all have busy schedules but 24/7 is just not doing it for me. I need 25/8 at the barest minimum. It is a little after 7am and I will be going food shopping as soon as I finish writing this entry. At 9am I will be going to a Bat Mitzvah. Tomorrow, on my so called day off, I will be on the road at 9am, going to help my parents pack their car for their trip to Florida. Yesterday, I babysat from 6:45am until 3:25pm when I got into my car to meet my work friend at 3:30, so we could go wedding shower shopping. By the time I got home, my poor feet were crying. I think I actually saw tears between my second and third toes. So, off I go, starting a new day. Come to think of it, 26/9 sounds like an even better dream.

It's Enough

I have been having a six month dispute with my credit card company. In May, I had a car stereo installed and they bored a hole in my gas tank, by mistake. They acknowledged that they did it. I asked them to have it fixed and they sent it to their "guy" two times, but he could not fix the problem. I finally took it to my "guy" and had it done correctly for $149. I then called the credit card company to stop the charge for the installation, since I felt that I did not have to pay for the installation and a repair. Every few weeks, I received a letter from Citi Card asking for more documentation. Each time I sent it. Then I would get a denial letter. Then I would call and speak to a supervisor who said if I sent in one more bit of information, it would be credited. This went on for 6 months. Yesterday, I got a letter saying this was the "final denial" and there would be no more recourse. I don't think so. At 10pm, I called Citi Card. Each person that sweetly answered the call was asked to connect me to their supervisor. I did this four times until I got to the top top top supervisor. I explained the situation for the hundredth time. Finally, she said, "I think you have had enough. I will just put a miscellaneous credit on the card and end the dispute." That is all I asked for.

Welcome Back

I have been wearing contact lenses since I was 16. I remember the hard kind that felt like sandpaper in your eyes after 8 hours. I remember the new soft kind, when they first were manufactured. In those days you could only get them through your eye doctor. They cost about $40 for each lens. They were treated like a controlled substance. You had to call your doctor when you needed a replacement. You even had the option of taking out insurance on them. As the years went by, companies started to sell them in bulk, online. Once you sent in a prescription you were good to go for years. You ordered them at your own discretion. I now wear the disposable kind that you replace every two weeks. If you read back the previous sentence, I said, "That YOU replace every two weeks". I replace them when they either rip or feel uncomfortable. If that means once every 6 months, that is when I use a new lens. Last week, I needed to order more lenses. I made the call from work. I was told that the last time I ordered lenses was in 2011.As I was placing the order, I received an important call, so I had to tell the lens company that I would call back later. The next day, in my email, I received a coupon for $15 off, welcoming me back. I guess by hanging up, they thought I did not want the product, so a coupon was sent to "welcome me back with open arms". That is exactly what it said. My $24 order was now $9. I love being welcomed back.

Obama(doesn't)care

There has been a lot of concern over the past few weeks regarding the Affordable Health Care Act, also known as Obamacare. I call it Obama Doesn't Care. Prior to the election I tried to tell people that the healthcare system would change for the worse if Obama was elected. I vividly remember the Democrats saying, "Just vote the plan in now and we will read it later". Really? I wouldn't sign up for a cell phone without knowing what I was signing. No one wanted to read the 20,000 page bill, so they voted on it with ignorance. Now we are living the ramifications of their actions. The reality of it hit home for a few of my friends this week. Two of my doctors are applying for Medicaid. Yes, doctor's applying for Medicaid! One other doctor is being thrown off of his wife's plan and forced to be on his own employer's plan. That will cost him an extra $5000 a year. He was so upset, but has no alternative. I have another friend whose doctor is dropping out of all insurance plans and becoming a "concierge" doctor. Concierge medicine is when a doctor accepts no insurance, but charges a monthly membership fee for his services. Her doctor wants $199 a month and for that price she will get unlimited visits, his cell phone number for 24/7 access and a gym membership. I am not kidding. Of course she will find a new doctor as she is not going to pay for health insurance and a concierge doctor. This week Obama apologized for making promises he could not keep. What does an apology do for the people that his broken promises affected?

Number 58

As I was getting dressed this morning, I saw a label on the size tag of my pants. It said "inspected by #58". I began to wonder who  #58 was. I know that #58 lives in Vietnam. I do not know if 58 is a man or woman. I do not know if 58 is a child or an adult. All I know is that 58 held these pants in his/her hands and looked them over to make sure that they were manufactured correctly. Number 58 wanted me to be happy with my purchase. I wondered if being an inspector is a better job than a seamstress. Do they sit or stand all day? Is 58 paid a decent salary? So, number 58, whoever you are, thanks for a good job.

Happy Veteran's Day

Happy Veteran's Day to everyone. Eleven eleven. A lucky number. Each year I love seeing the veterans selling their poppy ornaments. Even though some of them are well into their 80's, they still have the same pride in their country that they did when they returned from war. I was at the grocery store yesterday and I watched for a few minutes as people bought the tiny red cloth flowers. Each man that bought one said the platoon and rank that they had when they served. It was an instant camaraderie. A few simple words that held so much meaning. Today is also a special day in my family. It is my daughter in law's birthday. Another reason to celebrate!

If The Shoe Fits

Last night after dinner, I went to Burlington Coat Factory. Even though the name says coats, they have a pretty nice selection of women's and men's clothes and shoes. As I was headed to the checkout line, I saw a nice pair of shoes that happened to be my size. I slipped them on and they fit perfectly. They had no price tag, so the cashier called the shoe department to get a price check. A young man took my shoe and walked to the shoe department to find another pair that was ticketed. Five minutes went by. Then ten. As it was approaching fifteen minutes we saw him returning with two pairs of shoes in his hand. Victory! Or so we thought. He has the cashier scan the ticketed shoe and placed down the other pair. You notice I said other pair and not my pair. They were two totally different pairs of shoes. I asked where my shoes were and he said, "Uh oh". It seems he placed them down "somewhere" while he was looking for the price and thought he picked them up. Now, I had to take matters into my own hands. I walked with him to the shoe department to search for my shoes. We found them in the wrong sized area. Now we had to find another pair with the price ticket. It took me two minutes to do it. The man looked at me, shook his head and said he was tired from a long day.

Back It Up

The worst feeling in the world is turning on your computer and having it crash. To see the "blue screen of death". You pray that this isn't happening.Your life flashes before your eyes. How will you ever retrieve your valued information. At this point, in our level of technology, you would think that people would back up their computers. All it takes is a tiny flash drive. Plug it in and hit "save". Voila. Your computer is fully backed up and you will never lose anything. I do it once a week. I wish my coworker would have listened to me.

Lullaby

One thing will never change. Babies love to be sung to. The song does not matter. Neither do the words. It is the soft tune that they love. I haven't sung to a baby in years and my voice is not what it was when I was in my 20's. It doesn't matter. My grandson will stop crying and look deeply into my eyes as soon as I start to sing to him. He will be fixated on the sound. If he is tired, he will flutter his eyes until he can no longer keep them open and fall gently to sleep. Nothing feels better than that.

The Landline

Everyone used to have a house phone. They were connected to the wall and most of us had at least one extension phone. You always knew where your phones were. In case you misplaced the portable extension phone, you could hit a button and the phone would beep until you found it. Recently people have been phasing out their house phones, also now known as landlines. They asked themselves why they needed a landline if they had a cell phone. In theory, it makes sense. But the down part of having a mobile phone is that it is mobile. Yesterday, I had an instance when a co worker should have had a house phone. As she was leaving work, her cell phone slipped out of her handbag. Another co worker found it and called me. There was no way of letting the woman know we had her phone. She had no landline. She was cut off from civilization. She still has no idea that her cell phone is safe and sound. She must have been upset all night because her phone has pictures and names and numbers in it. I do not think I could ever have only a cell phone. I need security.

Now We Shall See

The votes have been cast and the officials elected. Now, we shall see if what they promised is what they will deliver. I have been watching the New York City Mayoral race in addition to Nassau County. While I live in one district, my family works in the other. The city race was a choice of a lesser of two evils. I am not sure if the evil that won was the right one. He says he is progressive but I still need that word defined. Does being progressive lead to anarchy? He is not for the police but without them crime will return to the high levels the city had when a Democrat was in office, twenty years ago. In this race being "for the people" meant being for "certain" people.

Voter's Choice

I am leaving for work early so I can go and vote. Do I vote for the man who is accused of raising taxes and giving himself a $65,000 pay raise or do I vote for the man accused of raising taxes and borrowing too much money? I would like a third choice. I want a man who does not raise taxes, can balance the budget and not borrow money. Does he exist? According to the commercials, everyone is doing everything wrong. Who do I believe? I know my property taxes have gone down in the past few years. Was that due in part to a grievance and in part to not having a tax hike? I would have to take a year off and run the county's numbers to get that answer. Maybe. When I hear the commercials on television, all I can think of was the days when we were voting for class president of the sixth grade. I was promised no homework and soda in the water fountains. Those promises never came true either.

TCB

Taking care of business. This morning I have three issues that need to be resolved with telephone calls. None of the three are my issues. I am assuming the responsibility for the phone calls because my family knows that I do not fool around when it comes to business. I am cut and dry. I do not waiver. If I know I am right, I do not debate the issue. If I am right, I do not need to defend my point. Over the years I have developed my skills to the point where very few words are needed to state my case. I never yell nor do I get agitated. I stay in a calm frame of mind and stay on the topic. I become a pit bull that does not let go until all parties are on the same wavelength. I guess that is why my employer has me take care of her personal issues when things go wrong. So, off to work I go, armed with everyone else's papers, fighting everyone else's battles. I have become the "word warrior".

Coupon Crazy

I am not the biggest coupon person. I cut out the "standards" like Michael's and Kohl's. I find that I do not have the time to go through my newspaper and clip out every product I use. I mainly buy store brands and if I buy some of my items at Walmart, the prices can't be beat. When I do see coupons for products I use, a lot of the times they say you must buy two or three of the same product. Since Hurricane Sandy, I try not to stockpile.Yesterday I went food shopping and collected all of my weekly coupons. For some reason I had $5 off $40 and $6 off $60, along with other assorted free items. The store took both coupons. When the final total came through I saved $50. Later in the evening I went with my daughter in law to Babies R Us and she used a coupon for each item she purchased. She saved $30. My family saved $80 without much effort. Now I can see how the people that spend hours each day clipping coupons can do so well.

Stop The Calls

For the past few weeks, I have been flooded with unwanted political calls. My telephone rings at different times of the day and the caller ID says unavailable or private. When I answer it, I hear the voices of various local politicians. As soon as I hear, "Hi, this is Tom, or Ed" I hang up. Do they really think that I am going to sit there and listen to a five minute monologue on how good they are and how bad the other guy is? I feel that their calls are an infringement of my privacy. I do not have their telephone numbers. I do not call their homes and tell them how my day was. Isn't it enough that I have to see them on my television screen every time I turn it on. Stop the calls and do your jobs.

Three Knocks

Yesterday was Halloween, but it did not seem like it. I did not see any costumed people walking in the neighborhood. Only three children rang my doorbell for candy. It seemed to get darker earlier than usual so maybe parents only rang the bells on their block. The best part was seeing my grandchildren in their costumes. My granddaughter had three wardrobe changes. For the morning, she was a pumpkin, for the afternoon she was a kitty cat and for bedtime she was a different  pumpkin. My grandson was Superman. It was very fitting because he really is Superman, considering what he went through at his birth. They looked adorable and I loved the pictures. I can't wait to see what they wear for Thanksgiving.

Last Minute

I hate last minute people. I am a do it on time person. Last minute people turn every chore into a frenzy. Do it on time people do things in a relaxed way. When a  last minute person has to team up with a do it on time person, things turn ugly. That is what happened to me yesterday. I am in work each day for seven hours. I accomplish everything that needs to be done within those seven hours. If you run in, one minute before it is time for me to go home and throw a project at me, I will not stay late and help you. If you get annoyed, I will ignore you. If you give in once to a last minute person, you will be giving in forever. I like to nip things in the bud. Do it on time or do it alone.

Out Of My Way

I have learned never to go out of my way for someon at work. I am not talking about my coworkers. I am talking about the patients. When I first started working at my office and I received  frantic calls from patients demanding an immediate appointment, I would rearrange schedules and sometimes call the doctors to see if they would come in early or stay late. After everything was set, the patient would either cancel at the last minute or not even show up. Yesterday, I had a call from a potential new patient. She was crying and screaming that she needed to come here today. I explained all of the fees and told her that the best I could do was have her seen the next day. She carried on a bit more and I checked 10 doctors schedules and decided to put her in for the last appointment of the day. I never asked the doctor because I had a feeling the woman would not show up. She thanked me for making the appointment for her and said she would see me later. Just as I thought, one hour later she called to cancel.

One Year

It has been one year since Superstorm Sandy. Everyone on the east coast can tell you where they were when their lights went out. We counted our lives by the days we had no electricity. Seven, ten, fourteen. Some of us were inconvenienced and some of us were devastated. I know of people that are still not back in their homes. Sandy taught us all a few lessons. First, when we are warned of danger, we must take it seriously. Second, that things are not as important as family. Third, that we are resilient and can rebound from almost anything. These were not easy lessons to learn and we will never feel the same security we had once felt when we hear the word "hurricane".

Eat, Eat, Eat

Eat, eat, eat. That is all I did all weekend long. I got up this morning and feel like a lump of clay. The thought of breakfast is not a good one, so I will not eat anything until my stomach growls. As if I did not eat enough Saturday night at a Sweet Sixteen, I went to a Mediterranean buffet on Sunday. What was I thinking? Am I Wonder Woman? I am over 55 and my intestines are not as supple as they were when I was 20. As I was pushing in the last bite of my fourth baklava at the buffet, I realized that food can be pleasurable or painful. Saturday it was pleasurable. Sunday afternoon it became painful. This morning it is just sad.

Through It All

Last night I went to my third cousin's Sweet Sixteen. It was at a beautiful catering hall overlooking the water in Howard Beach. The guests were dressed in party attire and the girls wore shoes so high, that they were wobbling. When the party began they introduced the "Dias". There were 6 bridesmaids type looking girls all wearing white. They were the six best friends out of a group of 100. The music was great and the dance floor was packed. The food choices were very tasty and the Viennese table was the best. Any place that serves cotton candy wins me over. When it came time for the candle lighting ceremony, the birthday girl said a bit about each person. For each "best" friend, she listed a ton of memories that they had shared. She ended each mini speech with the line, "We have been through it all together". All? How much could there have been to go through by 16? You haven't graduated high school or worried about getting ino college. You haven't graduated college and had to worry about finding a job. You haven't dated or married. You haven't had the pleasure of raising children and being called the bad parent if you have to say "no" to anything. You haven't paid bills or a mortgage. I guess her "all" is a sixteen year "all". I wish I could remember back to when I was 16, and thought I went through it all.

Smooth Sale-ing

I am up, dressed and ready to go. We displayed all of our tag sale items last night and even had two early birds fly by. We are not selling your typical garage sale items. There will be no soccer shoes or old clothes. We are selling memories in the form of old tools and vintage memorabilia. There is a certain type of person that buys these items. They are buying more as a collectable than as a useful item. They buy more with their hearts than their heads. Sometimes I feel that it is just an equilateral transfer of junk. So, I hope it goes well and I bring less back into my house than I brought out.

Set Up

Today I will be setting up for tomorrow's antique sale. Everything that went down to the basement will come back up again. The items will be cleaned and grouped into categories and displayed in the best possible way. There is so much to display. We placed an ad in the local paper and hope buyers come. It is not a garage sale in the typical sense of the word because we are selling antique and vintage items. It is a big preparation and I hope we do well. If not, I will have to bring everything back into my house and call dealers.

Seasons Changed

Even though the official start of Autumn was a month ago, this morning it feels official to me. I got up to the faint smell of heat. The first time my heating system goes on, after a long summer's rest, there is a familiar smell of pipes heating up again. Too bad along with that smell comes the reality that an oil delivery cannot be far behind. I walked Shelby in total darkness and when I looked up, the sky was filled with stars surrounding the moon. If I did not know better I would have said it was nighttime. Until the clocks change I will leave for work a few minutes later, as I hate to drive in the dark. Winter has not even begun and I am waiting for Spring. 

Two Worlds

Today my two worlds will meet. After being asked for a year, I have decided to do a workshop at my office. The topic of the workshop will be "Communication". I have done this lecture at various libraries and schools and it is a fun one, but I had some reservations about doing it where I work. I have no idea how many people will show up, as it was advertised online and with flyers. The room has a limited space and if more than 10 people attend, it will be crowded. I like to separate my worlds, kind of like the separation of church and state. It will be a long day, as the workshop is at 7pm. I will go to work now, come home and return this evening. I hope it will be an enjoyable evening for everyone.

Commercial Breaks

Some days, there is nothing to watch on television. Years ago, we had 7 channels and if we were on the cutting edge of technology, we had a circular wire that we attached on the back of the television set to get channel 21. Now I have 700 channels and have nothing to watch. Every few days I record a few shows to watch when I can find nothing better. Last night I was watching a recorded show. I had the capability to advance through the commercials, but I kept forgetting that I was watching a recording. Each time I realized that I could fast forward, I did and I was surprised to count how many consecutive commercials I was passing. The highest amount at one time was 11. Then, the show would come back on for three minutes, followed by another 6 commercials. When we watch live, we have become so used to the commercial breaks that we do not realize that there is more commercial content than show. Each one hour show has about 20 minutes of content, sandwiched between 40 minutes of advertising. The television shows are not the ones being programmed. The people are.

Love Thy Neighbor

I spent another weekend cleaning out my parent's house and we are just about done. They live in the same home that I grew up in. For the first 40 or so years they had wonderful next door neighbors. When those neighbors sold their home, my parents were blessed to get new neighbors that are indescribable. They are from Russia and barely speak English, but the love they have for my parents is overwhelming. They watch over them like they are their own parents. They will climb over the back fence and clean my parents yard. They will sweep in front of my parents house every morning to make sure that it looks immaculate. If there are garbage bags that need to be pulled to the curb, they will do it before my parents have a chance. When we visit my parents, we always go next door to say hello. We hug and kiss and smile. We try to communicate in broken English. We don't really need words to say how we feel. As we left my parent's house yesterday, the neighbors rushed out to see us. They looked at my parents and kept repeating, "Family, family". They did not need to say another word.

Then

I love the word "then". It is a word of anticipation. You never know what will come after the word "then". It could be wonderful, horrible or boring. Have you ever spoken to someone and think the outcome of the conversation will be good, until they say the word "then". Have you ever disappointed someone because you had to use the word "then". I woke up this morning with a cough and had no ideas for this blog. I thought to myself, if I skip a day, "then" I would have broken my streak of consistently writing this blog. If I did not write an entry, "then" people would wonder if I was ok. So, I sat down at the computer and thought and thought, "then" I decided to write about the word "then".

0%

I love when I receive a 0% credit card promotion in the mail. Somehow it feels like I am being offered money. Each one I receive I save, until another one arrives. I keep waiting for the best possible offer so I can sign up and continue using cards with 0% interest. The funny thing is that I always pay my cards off every month in full, but I love to have the option to partial pay with no penalty. The last card I had was 0% for 15 months, which will end in January 2014. I have been searching for the next offer and yesterday it finally arrived in the mail. It was for 0% for 21 months! I called the application number to open my new Citi Card. The card I have now is also a Citi Card. When I opened that one, they gave me an unusually high credit limit. When I applied for the new card they said the new limit would be lower since I had a high one on the other. Since I plan on canceling the old one when when I get the new one, I asked if they could transfer the credit limit from one to another. They said they could. So now I am locked in to 0% until July 2015. For some reason that make me feel wonderful.

Climate Control

They say if you have more than two women in the same room, the temperature will never be right. Not only do I agree with that, but I am now finding that if I am alone in the room the temperature is not right. I have become a "layer wearer". When I plan my outfit each day, I allow for a hot flash and a cold spell. The women coworkers in my office do the same. The daily catch phrase, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" has become our mantra. The sweaters go on and off so much, it is a wonder that we don't get flesh burns. So, as usual, today I have put on my short sleeve top and layered it with a fleece jacket. Who needs to exercise my arms at the gym, when I get a full workout all day from pulling my sweater off and on?

Forget Me Night

In my sleep last night, I thought of a great story for a blog. I wrote it in my head, literally word for word. I told myself not to forget it when I woke up. Well, you guessed it. I have totally forgotten what it was. I am sure it will eventually come back to me, but it will not be in time to write today's entry. During the day, when I have a thought, I have learned to write it down in a pad, just to make sure it does not disappear. At nighttime I do not do that because if I get up and write, I will never fall back to sleep. So, now I will be wracking my brain all day trying to remember what was so vivid last night.

Rock The Boat

Most of us like to navigate through still waters. As we get older, if we are lucky enough to have our parents, sometimes those waters get a bit rocky, but in a good way. Over the past few weeks my parents are going through changes in their lives regarding healthcare, money and real estate. My sister and I have done enough research to guarantee that any decision that was made, was the correct one. Even though my parents know that we have made correct decisions, they are still questioning those decisions. They ask the same questions and we repeat the same answers. Then we all agree things are on the right track. Two days later, they ask the same questions and again the correct answers are given. Occasionally, one of their friends gives them a story about what "Annie" did, which differs from what they did, and their boat gets rocked, until we explain again that what "Annie" did would not be good for them. It is a back and forth, ebb and flow. Sometimes the rocking of the boat gets me nauseated, but I am always happy that at least I have a boat to rock.

Hair Curling

I went for a haircut yesterday. I have been going to the same salon for about 25 years. It doesn't really matter who cuts my hair. It is so curly that it curls the same way since I was a child. If I let it grow, it will grow horizontally and I will look like a cotton ball. The best I can hope for is a good shaping. After my hair was finished, the stylist asked if I wanted to try a new product made especially for curly hair. It is supposed to take the curls and make them sleeker and more manageable. She put a bit of the creme onto my hair and rubbed it in. She asked if I would like to purchase a bottle of it. I asked how mush it cost and she said $18. I responded, "Not a bad price" but in my head I was thinking, "Are you nuts?" It was an 8 ounce bottle. If I spent $18 on a hair product, I would expect it to be at least 64 ounces. I said I would see how it worked and let her know. I woke up this morning to the same curls I have had for 50 years. The only difference was that I still had the $18 in my wallet.

Happy Columbus Day

Even though it is Columbus Day, I am still getting ready to go to work. Five hundred twenty one years ago, Columbus discovered America and we still have no idea who we are. As of today, we are into the second week of a government shut down.Our representatives do not agree with a president who has lost control of the country. What a shame, that in this day and age, what used to be the most powerful country in the world is disgracing our good name. The two main issues of the disagreement are Obamacare and the debt ceiling. If I discussed how I feel about Obamacare I would be late to work, so I will make it short. No one really knows what the bill has in it, because it is 20,000 pages long and no one thoroughly read it. Within the bill we have voted to subsidize many non healthcare issues and the stipulations are so convoluted that employers would rather fire their employees than be forced to pay for benefits that might bankrupt them. Now let me get to the debt ceiling. First of all, why are we in debt? If it isn't bad enough that we owe our souls to other countries, our president wants to put us further in hock. That is why our representatives shut us down. Too bad it affected people that deserved better. We now have thousands of unemployed government workers that are struggling to make ends meet. We have soldiers that have died overseas, whose families are not receiving burial benefits. We have public memorials that are shut down. What a sad commentary. If Christopher Columbus knew what would have happened to us, would he have adjusted his sails and gone directly to Canada?

More Pumpkins

Last Sunday, I went pumpkin picking with my grandson. Today, I am going with my sister's granddaughter. My great niece. I love that title because she really is great. I do not know who is more excited for the day. The weather is perfect and we are going to a different patch with different events. I love reliving all of the activities I did with my own children. With grandchildren, you look at life through different eyes that are filled with only enjoyment. We spend quality time with the kids and let the parents spend their time bringing them up. The best pumpkin at the patch will be my niece!

More To Do

This morning I am heading back to my parent's house for more cleaning. We knew the job would be daunting and we are moving along at a good pace. Over the week they have sifted through more of their belongings and have separated the items that they are keeping from ones they will discard. Cleaning out a home is like ripping off a bandaid. You slowly lift up a corner to test the feeling and then you grit your teeth and expose the rest. After the initial discomfort ends, you realize that it was not that painful after all.

Yes or No

The other day I had to call a lawyer's office for some information for my office. The question was a basic one that the lawyer's office must answer every day. I spoke to a secretary who then transferred me to a paralegal. I asked my question and she responded by saying, "Come in for an appointment and we can talk". I said that it was a simple question that has a straightforward answer so an appointment was not necessary. She said, "Let's have a conference call with the lawyer tomorrow" and I said, once again, that it was a simple question. She responded by saying, "Come in and we will run the numbers". I said, with a very firm tone, "I am asking a simple question. If you cannot give me the answer, transfer me to a lawyer who can. I have no time for a run around". She put me on hold and transferred me to a lawyer. I asked my question, in a simple but detailed manner, and he gave me a one word answer of "No". That was all I needed. A yes or no answer. Why do people complicate matters?

Living The Dream

Every morning I have the same conversation with one of my doctors. When he arrives for the day, I ask how he is. He responds by saying, "Living the dream". Then we both say in unison, "Too bad it's not MY dream" and then we laugh. We mean it as a joke, because he has a great wife and three wonderful sons. When you really think about it, who of us is really living our dream? If you have a family, part of your life is devoted to them. Since most of us need to work for a living, part of our life is devoted to work. Daily existence means that part of our life is devoted to routine chores. Where do our dreams fit in to our schedules? Most times they do not, until we are too old to live our dreams to the fullest. Maybe that is what dreaming is all about. Maybe the thought of what we really want out of life sustains us enough to live the life we have.

Verizon-care

I received my Verizon bill today and it was much higher than usual. I called them and asked why the bill was so high. The first representative said that he was a bit confused by the bill and reading it was hard. If it was hard for him, what should I say. He is a trained Verizon employee. On page 3 of 12, I found an error. I had a new box delivered to me and they charged $19.99. They never said there was going to be a charge, so the representative removed it. By that time, I had spent 45 minutes on the phone and needed to take a mental health break. I thanked him for his time and said I would call back later to continue "the hunt". Two hours later I resumed the call with a more mature representative. She scrolled through the 12 pages and found out what was incorrect. It seems that there used to be quad play and I was downgraded to double play and charged separately for the other two services. We compromised on triple play with one add on and the bill is now $4 less than previously. At the end of the call, I told her that I now understood the Senate and why they are disgusted with the Obamacare bill. This was another example of moronic rhetoric that no one can understand or read. It is just a bunch of senseless words in page order.

Clean Up

When I returned to work this morning I saw the aftermath of a flood. The office smelled damp and musty and the computers and furniture were in disarray. The office above us had a flood from their bathroom and it leaked down into our secretary's office. The computer monitor was soaked, as was the keyboard. The wooden desk was bubbled and the chair was saturated. The water that overflowed was from the toilet, so you can imagine the stench. I had repairmen in throughout the day and still need to speak to the insurance adjusters. I want the carpet replaced since I do not know what type of bacteria will grow. Hopefully this morning the smell will have dissipated.

Pumpkin Patch

I spent 6 hours in the mist with pumpkins. Yesterday, despite the foggy weather, I went to White Post Farms with my son and his family and my daughter in law's family. There were 10 of us in the group. The farm said it was having a festival, but I had no idea how much there would be to do. This place was not around when my kids were little. We played in the hay, saw a dog show, a pig show, a magic show and a musical show. We went on a hayride and in and out of miniature houses. The kids were too small for the pony rides, but we went to the petting zoo. It should have been called a mini zoo as there were so many animals there. We ate a lot of fried, heavy foods and washed them down with more heavy, fried desserts. The kids then picked pumpkins. Even though the weather was not the best, the place was mobbed.  It was a bit expensive for admission and they charged full price for children over 18 months, but all in all it was worth it for a once a year activity.

Welcome Home

This morning I am tired. I spent the day helping my parents clean out their house. Decades of memories. Decades of "stuff". Everything has a memory. Everything has a story. It is a gift to clean out a house with your elderly parents. We did it with a smile on our face and not a tear in our eyes. It was a true blessing. We sorted through many items, some so old that they are now classified as antiques. We moved furniture from floor to floor and my back is stiff and sore. Of all of the items we took home to sort for sale, there was one that was priceless. It is a poster sized picture of my grandfather on his wedding day all dressed in a tuxedo and top hat. He must have been about 22 years old. He was so handsome. I had no idea that pictures were made this size, in 1918, on a thick poster type of paper. I stared into his eyes and scrutinized every line of his face to see a resemblance to me or my children. He has our light blue eyes and there is a familiarity in his face that just feels right. When I took the picture out of my parents house I said, "Grandpa, we're going home". When he arrived in my house, I covered him with Lucite so the picture would not chip or disintegrate. I slipped it under my bed for safe keeping as there is nowhere to hang it. I am happy that Grandpa is now living with me.

Keep, Toss, Donate

Keep, toss, donate are the three principles of cleaning out a house. I learned them at my job when dealing with hoarders. I will begin to implement them today when I help my parents clean their house out. It is a practical practice. Keep what you can use or what holds special meaning. Toss what is old and not useable. Donate what no longer has meaning to you, but can be used by someone else. There can be no "what if's" or "maybe one day's". These decisions need to be made with our brains and not our hearts. Emotional attachments cannot be made to a special paper clip or a threadbare washcloth. When all is said and done, and as cold as it may sound, cemetery plots do not include storage sheds.

Because I Want To

I was listening to a conversation the other day between my receptionist and one of my doctors. They were discussing the purchase of a bridesmaid dress. My doctor, who is the bride, was saying that she was going to pay for her sister in law's dress because she was short on money. My receptionist kept asking her why she needed to do that. The conversation went like this:

• D: I am buying her the dress.
• R: Why do you have to buy it?
• D: She has no money.
• R: You don't have much money either.
• D: She is unemployed.
• R: Then tell her not to be in the bridal party.
• D: But I want her there.
• R: Then tell her to start saving.
• D: She really has no money.
• R: That's not your problem.
• D: Yes it is.
• R: It shouldn't be.

At this point I got up from my seat. First of all, it is no one's business what another person does. Second of all I had heard enough.  I walked over to the doctor and said, "Look into the receptionist's eyes and repeat after me". She looked up at me to hear what she should say. "Now say, BECAUSE I WANT TO!". She repeated those words. I looked at the receptionist and said, " Do not say another word". I told the doctor that she did not have to validate any decision she makes and I was surprised that she did. She shook her head and smiled. The conversation ended.

The Table

After three long months of being away from my Mah Jongg game, we finally resumed playing. Well, not really playing, more like bonding. There is something to be said for sitting around a table with good friends and pouring out your heart with both the good and the hard. I purposely did not say bad. Sometimes things are just hard and we need to vent our feelings in order to ease our lives. As we age, our hierarchy changes. Things that used to be important, no longer are. We develop a new sense of what is important. Not everyone understands it. My Mah Jongg friends do. Sitting around a table is different than conversing on the phone or on a couch. There is more of a direct connection. More of a direct face to face commitment. I woke up this morning feeling so much brighter. I hope they did too.

Recognition

Last night my husband was given a plaque for 40 years of service to his employer. It was a nice one, about 5 x 7 inches and encased in lucite. It had his name in small letters and the words "Recognition for 40 years of service to the hospital". There was also a small key chain engraved with the hospital's name. The thought was very nice. Too bad his 40 year anniversary was two years ago. The plaque was dated 2011. When he reached his 40 years, he expected some sort of acknowledgement. Since the hospital has been opened, every five years there was some sort of employee celebration. In the early years, you received a 14k gold pin for every 5 years of service. At 25 years there was a diamond in it. After a few years, the diamond pin was phased out. A few years later, 14k was changed to gold filled. Now plastics are the way to go. I guess the management was so busy pilfering money from the employee benefit fund, that they had no time in 2011, to honor their workers. Now that management is in jail, I guess someone was able to pick up the slack.

Change of Mind

The doctor I work for is world renown. A few times a year she travels internationally to do presentations at mental health conferences. Last week she was in Morocco. She called it an "authentic" country. She meant that it was not a tourist country and was run in a third world way. The last day she was there, the clocks were supposed to be turned back one hour. She adjusted her watch and went to sleep. The next morning she was going to the airport and her ride was late. When he arrived she asked what happened. He told her that overnight the government decided that they did not want to turn back the clocks so he was on the old time. That day, half the country was one hour back until someone notified them. She got to the airport and received her boarding pass. The flight time was 1:00pm, but the boarding time was 1:10pm. It must have been hard to board the plane in mid air.

Little Bit

Yesterday, I went to a birthday brunch at Ayhan's Mediterranean Restaurant. As soon as I walked in, I looked around at the food choices. There were stations set up with foods ranging from breakfast to dinner choices. The only other buffets I have been to are the ones at a Chinese restaurant and for some reason, I always get sick after eating them. I walked around the buffet tables and thought that the food presentation looked so clean and organized. There were small plates of each food choice and I thought that was smart. That meant that as soon as the plate was empty they would replace it with fresh food. They had eggs, pancakes, french toast, salads, fishes, and then the meat and rice dishes. There must have been 40 choices and each one looked delicious. I got a plate and decided to taste everything. I placed one teaspoon of each selection on a plate. The plate was totally covered. I got to taste foods that I never would have and loved them all. The waitstaff was superb and they even rearranged tables for us to take family pictures. They went above and beyond to make our special celebration even better.

Happy 90th

Today is my father's 90th birthday! We will celebrate with the immediate family at a birthday brunch in a neighborhood restaurant. I thank G-d every day for my parents. My mother will be 90 in March. If you saw them, you would think they are in their late 70's. They look strong and my mother is more of a fashionista than I am. My father is still the smartest man I know and he can fix almost anything. He still drives and they are very independent people. They make me laugh when they go places tell me that there were "old people" there. I always ask, "How much older could they be?" Since my father started dialysis, they have made a group of new friends from the dialysis center. Wherever my parents go, they make friends because they are two of the nicest people you could meet. Happy Birthday Daddy and many, many more.

Home Cooking

I got up this morning in the mood to cook. Since there are only two of us living here, I cook less frequently. I decided to make homemade macaroni and cheese and salmon croquets. I usually just make packaged mac and cheese because the home made version is not a cost efficient dish. The last time I made it, it cost almost $12. I used a few types of cheeses and cheese is not cheap. The dish tasted great, but not worth the money for the amount of servings. For years after that I stuck to the 89 cent Kraft version and everyone was happy. Today I will go "hog wild" and spend the money. I am also making salmon croquets. I never use formal recipes. I just toss in whatever I think will work. Most times the results are wonderful. On the occasion that they are not, I bring it to work. My office staff will eat dirt if you put it on a plate. My best story about my salmon croquets goes back years ago. My sister was having a busy day running around from work to errands and then some evening activity. She said she had no time to eat. I told her to stop by my house and I would meet her in the street with some hot salmon croquets wrapped in tin foil. She ate them as she drove from place to place. She told me that it was the best food she ever ate. I do not think it was the salmon that tasted so good. I think it was the extra ingredient of love.

Turning the Corner

My grandson is now five months old. He is growing every day and so am I. As much as I do not want to admit it, you do lose some parenting skills after 30 years. I was never nervous with my own children. To be honest, I do not even remember the daily activities we did. They were born, went to school and got married. The specifics of daily life are just a blur. Now, I am responsible for my grandson 1 hour 4 days a week and one evening a week. At the beginning I was scared, primarily because he was a preemie and needed extra care. Now he is over 13 pounds and is reaching the milestones that are expected of him. I no longer have to listen to him breathe when he eats and I no longer have to watch his head flop around. I can now just relax and enjoy.

Old World

One of my evening receptionists has been working for me for six years. I have watched her graduate college, receive her Master's Degree and start an internship. She got engaged last week. She got married Thursday. Her husband has lived in America for many years, since he was a teenager. He graduated college and is doing an internship for a large company. The company may downsize and if they do, he will lose his visa. They had been dating for 2 years and planned to get married next year, but circumstances moved the date up. They had a civil ceremony on Thursday and will fly to India in November for an elaborate wedding. Both families are traditional and feel that the civil ceremony was the formality for a visa but will not consider them married until the religious wedding. Her husband has moved in with her family, but must sleep in the basement guest room until they return from India. She will sleep upstairs in her bedroom. Odd as it seems, it is also nice. It shows respect for your parents and the traditions they hold dear.

Honey

I am not the best sleeper. I always envied people that could fall asleep in one minute and sleep through the night. I fall asleep and wake up one hour later. Then I toss and turn for 6 more until the alarm goes off. I am not the type of person to use medications, but occasionally after a week with only a dozen total hours of sleep, I take 1/2 of an ambien. I hate to do it and for some reason feel guilty. I have the same bottle of pills for about 2 years and the prescription only contained 30 pills. Yesterday on Yahoo's home page, I saw an article about 10 ways to use honey. I read it and when I came to number 10, I was interested. It said that if you awake during the night and cannot fall back to sleep it may be due to hormones. If you eat 1 teaspoon of honey mixed with a few shakes of salt, it will balance things out and you will return to sleep. Last night, after I woke up at 11:30pm, I went downstairs and filled a spoon with honey. I added a bit of salt to it and swallowed it. Lo and behold, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up this morning at 6am. Was it a fluke or did it really work? I guess I will have to do it a few more times to be convinced.

Moving Images

One great thing about the computer age is the ability to send pictures in an instant. I remember the days when we had to send them through the regular mail. We filled out an envelope, put them into the mail box and prayed that we would get them back in 10 days. Now all we do is email them from our camera or phone. For some reason, there are times when the pictures do not open the same way. Sometimes they come in as windows picture gallery and other times they come in as a download attachment. Yesterday, the pictures that were sent to me just disappeared. They arrived via email and downloaded somewhere, but a moment later they were nowhere to be found. I searched and searched and finally gave up. This morning when I turned on my computer to write this blog, there they were. They were sitting on my desktop waiting to be put into their special folders. I guess they were playing hard to get.

Child Care

My daughter in law has gone back to work. Since my son works evenings, they have child care pretty much covered. For the hour a day between their work shifts, I will go to their house and babysit. The only problem would be if my son needs to work an occasional day shift. We asked around for anyone that knows a person to be an "on call" babysitter. Someone who could look after the baby for one day every few weeks or months. One of my friends said that she knew of a nice stay at home mom. My daughter in law called the woman and set up a meeting. She made it for when the woman's children were home as she wanted to also interview "the surroundings". As soon as my son and daughter in law walked in to the woman's house, the children, ages 3 and 6 came rushing towards the baby screaming, "I want him, I want him". They proceeded to start pulling at his legs and face and grabbing him. My son whisked him out of their range and instantaneously decided that there was no way his son would ever be left alone here. Back to the drawing board.

Deep Breath

This morning my family can take a deep breath. The wedding was wonderful and every plan went perfectly. The bride looked beautiful and the groom beamed with joy. The babies sat silently through the ceremony and behaved like angels the entire day. The food was great, the music entertaining and the guests enjoyed themselves. I saw people there that I had not seen in 25 years. It was amazing that none of us looked a day older. In reality we really did, but we were looking at each other with the reference of 1998. So much planning went into this party and it showed. At the end of the party my nephew, the groom, said, "It feels like it was over in a minute". I guess that is why they say time flies when you are having fun. I am now going to the bagel store to have my "bagel breakfast" that has been a tradition for 9 years. I like my children to ride back to Massachusetts with their stomach's full of dough.

Four For Four

Today is my nephew's wedding. He is the fourth out of four grandchildren to be married. My son from New England arrived at midnight, even though he was not originally coming because his daughter was sick. He waited until the last second to make the decision to get on the road. It is beautiful weather, so the ceremony will be outdoors. My nephew is non traditional, so we were all a bit surprised that he wanted a totally traditional wedding. His future wife is beautiful inside and out. They are a perfect love match. They met four years ago at Taco Bell. I guess you never know where you will find your one true love. I wish them health and happiness on their wedding day.

The Waiting Game

My family has waited for 15 months for my nephew's upcoming wedding. Every loose end has been tied up. Who would have calculated in a cold? My granddaughter from Massachusetts caught a cold at the beginning of the week. Her parents took her to the doctor on Monday and were told to only give Tylenol. She did not improve, so they brought her back on Wednesday and were told to just give Tylenol. The cold turned into a cough and she made another trip to the doctor. Again, Tylenol. Doctors are very reluctant to prescribe antibiotics. When my kids were little if you had one drip in your nose, you took amoxicillin for 10 days. Not anymore. Now it is the waiting game. We do not think they will be coming to the wedding now, as she will not be comfortable away from her surroundings since she is sick and my son doesn't want to get anyone else sick. The final decision will be made this afternoon. If they do not come this weekend they will come next weekend, but they will miss the long awaited for wedding.

Replacement

I have worn contact lenses for over 40 years. I started off with the hard type and moved on to the soft ones. Next, I began to wear the ones you throw out every two weeks. I do not know about you, but as long as they don't hurt my eyes, I stretch the two weeks as long as I can. Two weeks has often turned into 8 months. At one point, I put in the lens and "feel something in my eye". I wear it all day and make excuses for it. Maybe a piece of dust flew in or maybe an eyelash. Could it be allergy season? I usually do this for about two days before I give in and put in a new lens. When will I ever learn?

Safe in Daddy's Arms

My son sent me some pictures of his summertime vacation. Some of them were of him and his daughter in a swimming pool. It was almost the same picture I have of me and him when he was little and my father and I when I was little. When I saw the picture, I had a flashback. I remember the feeling of my father holding me in the cool water. I remember how the warmth of his body made the chill of the pool better. I had that same feeling but in reverse when I held my son in the pool for the first time. His tiny warm body warming up my arms. That picture jogged such wonderful memories.

Festivities

Today the festivities begin. My nephew will be getting married Saturday and the rehearsal dinner is tonight. Rehearsal dinners have become a part of the wedding celebration, even though most people no longer rehearse. It has become a pre-gathering of the closest people to the bride and groom. It sets the happy tone for the upcoming party. The out of town guests are slowly trickling in. The last minute plans are being finished. All loose ends are being tied up. I can hardly wait until Saturday.

Flexability

I was talking about children with my sister and our friend yesterday. We are all devoted grandmother's. We learned the rules quickly and use them wisely. The rules of grandparenting differ greatly from the rules of parenting. The basics still apply. Safety is above everything. Don't run with scissors, don't eat too much candy, cross at the corners, cover all pointy furniture, and so on. We have added a few new rules to our repertoire. No matter what we are asked to feed the grandchild, if it is larger than a pea, it isn't happening. We only feed soft, small foods that can slide down a child's throat with ease. We treat the grandchildren like a rental car. There will be a full inspection upon arrival and another upon departure. All marks, scrapes and black and blue marks will be duly noted in our journal. We will not be blamed for any damaged goods that did not happen on our watch. We have also learned flexibility. We go with the flow, easier than we did with our own kids. If we are told we need to watch the grandchildren for an hour or a day or a week, we smile and agree with pleasure. We shift our plans and our mindset to accommodate our children, their parents. If we disagree with anything we are told, we dance around the subject with the agility of a ballerina, until we get the issue resolved. Everything we do, is for those beautiful and handsome little faces that smile back at us.

Great Pickin's

When my children were little we went to every museum and event on Long Island. The only thing we never did was go apple picking. Now that they are older, I have gone two years in a row. This year my baby grandson went. I always wonder exactly how much a four month old can really process about his environment. From the moment we went into the orchards, he made it clear he would not be happy if he remained in the stroller. My daughter in law took him out of it and held him for the entire time we were there. He was mesmerized. He kept looking from side to side, soaking in the atmosphere. when she placed him near a tree, he felt the apples. She picked one and put it into his hand and he clutched it for quite a while. He was so content just being part of the "pickers". We took a lot of pictures. By "we", I mean my son. I am not a picture taker. The weather was gorgeous and we had the best time. We could not have "picked" a better activity.

Holy Day

Today is a holy day. It is a day to atone for your sins. It is a day to ask for and give forgiveness. The concept is a good one, but why is it only one day of the year. People should have a daily cleansing. A daily forgiveness. No one should have to go a day or week or month or year to forgive or be forgiven. It should be done on a daily basis, just like your work desk. Do not leave any unfinished business over until the next day. It becomes more cumbersome and weighty. It adds on to the next day's work and gets harder to clean up. End the day nicely and start each new one fresh. On the next holy day, all you will need to do is enjoy the beautiful weather.

Adaptions

Sometimes I want things that are not made. That is when I need to make adaptions. Sometimes they work and sometimes they do not. Today I will try one and hope for the best. Since my daughter in law went back to work, I care for my grandson for about an hour each day. I call it the "Changing of the guard". It is the hour between when my son goes to work and my daughter in law arrives home. I have a car seat base in my car, but we pass the stroller base from person to person. I saw an umbrella type of stroller in the store, but my grandson is not big enough for it yet. Here is where my adaption will come in. Since he is only 13 pounds and his head is still wobbly, he needs extra support. These type of strollers do not have that. I was thinking that if I put a Sobe type pillow (the ones with the mini beads) as the backrest of the stroller, he would be form fitted into it and not slide around. It might or might not work. I will know the answer later today.

Shifting Your Mindset

We have many levels of staff members at my job. Some are office staff, some are research staff, some are volunteers. We also have interns, post doctoral students and licensed doctors. The research and volunteer staff work for free in order to have my office as a reference for graduate school. Our name carries a lot of weight when applying for schools. For the past three years we have had a woman on our volunteer research team. She already had her Master's Degree but wanted to go back for her Ph.D. She made graduate school and was ready for her internship. We hired her as an intern. Now comes the problem. Some doctors still see her as a volunteer and not as an intern. They are having a hard time shifting gears and seeing her as a clinical professional. They think of her as the fun loving, joking around person they have known for years. She lacks the professional credibility that is necessary to be their co worker. Her feelings are being hurt and the doctors have no idea she feels this way. Today I will hold a staff meeting and let them know how she feels. I am sure things will be different tomorrow.