Halloween Homonym

Homonyms are words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings. Today is Halloween and each year I love to see what my grandchildren will be dressed as. I will not know what my granddaughter will wear until I am surprised with the pictures. Yesterday I found out what my grandson will wear. This year he will be a Minion. A minion is a yellow creature with one or two eyes. The character became popular in the movie "Despicable Me". My son and daughter in law will also be wearing Minion tee shirts. My husband asked me what my grandson will be dressed as and I said a Minion. He looked at me with an odd look. A minyan? Why would he be dressed as a person in a prayer group? I started to laugh. He will be a Minion, not a person in a minyan. When minion is spelled like "minyan", it means that a person is part of a ten person group of Jewish adults that is required for certain religious prayers. I am sure that no one else confused the two. I am still laughing about it.

Fully Equipped

When cars were manufactured years ago the advertisements said that they were fully equipped. Whatever options were made were put into the car. As prices got higher the ads changed. You got a few extras but not all. If you wanted more you had to purchase them. The wording of the ads changed to nicely equipped. Most people did not notice the wording change. Things that were taken for granted were now missing. Even if we did not use all of them. There is a point to why I am writing this. I was driving to work yesterday when I noticed that the person in the car ahead of me had their hand out of the window, smoking a cigarette. When they were done, they tossed the butt out of the window and it came flying towards me. I thought to myself how inconsiderate they were. Why couldn't they just put it out in the ashtray? Then I realized that cars no longer have ashtrays. Where are smoker's supposed to throw their butts? I guess out the window.

Hierarchy

Life is fill of hierarchies. Levels of importance. What comes first. Who comes first. I realized yesterday that simple things like call waiting have a hierarchy. When we are talking to someone and another call beeps in, we have to make the decision of who is more important on the call chain. Last night I was talking to my son on his way home from work. I had not really talked to him in a day. My parents beeped in. Since I wanted my son's attention, I ignored the beep. I knew I could call my parents back in five minutes but if I got off the phone with my son, he would not have time to continue the call later. After a minute of talking to my son, his brother beeped into his phone. Within a split second I was rushed off the line, so he could talk to his brother. My son was first on my hierarchy, but I was second on his. That is exactly how I would have wanted it.

Passing it On

Two weeks ago one of the doctors I work with came in with a cold. A few days later another one got it. Last week I was the new recipient. As we all know, sick days are to be used for fun and not illness. As long as we can make our way to work, we will go in to avoid losing a day off. I went to work on Thursday and tried to keep away from people. Germs are airborne so it probably did not matter. Yesterday morning my receptionist came in sniffling. She said she got "my cold". I said it wasn't "my cold". It was Loren's, then Christine's, then mine. She got nasty and said, "No one should come to work sick and spread their germs to everyone!" I looked her in the eye and said, "But you're here today, aren't you?" She thought for a moment and slowly walked out of the room.

Flipping The Switch

We all have our triggers. Some are tighter than others. Some people call it a trigger. Some people call it pushing their buttons. I like to refer to it as flipping the switch. It could be a word, a look, an action or even an object. It is the thing that turns us from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. I am rarely bothered by anything at work. It is my job, not my life, so I take things in stride. I always say that if you do not have my last name or my blood running through your veins, I won't get upset by you. I try to teach this to my staff. Don't let a patient upset you. Don't yell or be nasty. Just do your job in a calm way. At the end of the day, nothing in work is so important.

Baby Shoes

Yesterday we continued to clean out our basement. We opened up the window seat boxes that contained years of memories. Things that were stored there thirty years ago and forgotten about. We removed everything and started to sort things out. I found my children's baby shoes. Their first walking shoes. They were safely placed in their original Stride Rite boxes. I never bronzed them like other people did, but I kept them as keepsakes. I then realized that babies do not get traditional "first shoes" anymore. There is no trip to Stride Rite where the baby sits on your lap and an old man ties the shoes onto their feet and pinches the toes to make sure they fit well. Moms today go into their favorite children's' store and buy various stylish shoes. By the time my grandchildren were one year old they had more shoes than I did. I placed the baby shoes back in the box and put them in my closet. I will never lose them again.

Flash Of Doom

For some reason, I always pick the wrong cashier's line. It looks like the shortest line until I get on it. It then stops as the other lines move quickly. If you ever see me on a line in a store, go the other way. Yesterday at Walmart, I got on a short line. After a few minutes I realized that I never moved an inch since I got on. I waited and waited. Then I looked to see if there was a cashier at the end. She was there, but her hands were at her side. Then it happened. The flash of doom. The number on top of the line was blinking. 16,16,16,16. My heart sank. This could not be happening. Now I have to make a decision to leave this line or wait it out. Either way I will be making the wrong choice. I decided to pick up an US magazine and read about the Kardashians. That entertained me until the light was turned off and things started moving. Finally after 20 minutes I was done. All that for 2 cans of corn.

The Deli Line

I am usually a patient person. I do not mind waiting in line, but for some reason waiting on a deli line at the supermarket annoys me. Normally in the winter I go food shopping with my husband and he is assigned to the deli area. He waits on line while I go shopping. On the weekends that he doesn't shop with me I have to wait to order. As soon as I walk into the store, I run to the deli area just in case someone else was walking there slower than me. If there are two people ahead of me, I am fine. If there are three or more I do not like it. Maybe it is the uncertainty of not knowing how much each person is ordering. Are they a one meat order or are they ordering for a family for the week? If the deli counter workers start chatting with each other, I feel like telling them to stop talking and keep slicing. Once I get my order, I relax and enjoy the rest of the shopping experience.

On A Stick

Everything tastes better when it is served on a stick. It is easy to eat and feels like you are at a party. I don't really eat apples but put one on a stick with some caramel and I will devour it. Meat on a stick is always good whether it is chicken or beef. People now serve cake on a stick and call it a cake pop. Frankfurters on a stick with breading make the miraculous corn dog. Last week at the pumpkin farm people were eating pickles on a stick. For some reason that struck me as being funny. I guess that the way food is presented to you does make a difference.

Sick

Yesterday I got a cold. It was inevitable because everyone around me is sick. I did not want to get out of bed this morning but I have too much to do in work. For the past few weeks all I see is sniffling, coughing people. It just dawned on me that dogs do not get colds. Is it because they do not have hands to hold a tissue so they can blow their noses?

Heating Up

For some reason one of the radiators in my den has never worked well. After living with it for 32 years, we finally had someone come look at it. The plumber was already at my house when I got home from work at 3pm. Normally it takes about an hour to fix any plumbing problem. The man sat in front of the radiator and looked like a kid playing with a toy. He turned the heat up to about 80 degrees to see how it flowed. My house heated up like a sauna. I could just hear the dollar signs as my oil burner was running. He was still playing with it at 4pm and 5pm and 6pm and 7pm and 8pm. Still sitting in the same position. I felt like I wanted to tell him to go home already. Just seeing him there was getting irritating. I went upstairs to my bed to watch television. He went from room to room bleeding the radiators and finally at 8:30pm he was done. It seems there was a clog and he played with it enough until he loosened it. Good thing he does not charge by the hour. 

Picture Day

Today is picture day at my office. We are revamping our website and need to update our staff pictures. Everyone was told to dress appropriately. We all do that anyway. I had my picture removed from the last website as I did not think that anyone needed to see what I looked like. I do not think that I can get away with that this time. I just want to be known as the kind voice on the other end of the line.

More Than A Pumpkin

Yesterday we were at the pumpkin patch. I came home with a pumpkin. One of the other fifteen people in our group came out of the patch with an engagement ring. We took a hayride that let us off in the pumpkin patch. My daughter in law's family was there and so was her brother's girlfriend's family. They live in the area. While we were looking for our pumpkins, he got down on his knee and proposed. At that exact moment, snow started to fall, just like in a snow globe. We were all covered in small snow pellets. His girlfriend started to cry as he put the ring on her finger. Within two minutes pictures were taken and Facebook was informed, so it was official. It was a wonderful day all around. My grandson will now have a new aunt and she is a very nice girl. You never know what you will find in the pumpkin patch.

Pumpkin Time

Today is our annual family pumpkin and apple picking day. My daughter in law's family chooses the place. We go wherever we are told. As long as I am with my grandson, the place does not matter. We usually go to a farm on Long Island but this year someone picked a farm in Morristown, New Jersey. To me, apples and pumpkins are all the same no matter where you pick them. We are up early and will be on the road by 8:30am. It will take about two hours to get to the farm. It is quite cold out this morning so I have dressed in layers. It will be a fun day.

New Beginnings

A few years ago there was a song titled "Closing Time". One of my favorite lines from that song was, "Every new beginning comes from some other new beginnings end". Nothing can be truer than that line. It is about life changing and moving on. Situations that were once new, are old. New ones need to take their place in order for us to grow as people. This year has seen a lot of new beginnings for my family. There has been a retirement, a new house, a new relationship, a new baby and a new career move. All wonderful new beginnings. Some of them were easy to do and other's took  more thought. All of them have been positive changes. I hope next year brings some more new beginnings.

Little Piggy

Since my husband has retired, he thinks that every day is a weekend. He has not yet realized that he has to eat dinner at home. Every afternoon he looks at me with puppy dog eyes and asks if we can go out for dinner. Almost every night I say no. Eating out costs money and it adds up. We had pizza last night and to me, that was his eating out night. He decided that he wanted to eat at Chipotle's tonight and I said no way. I am not a millionaire with an unlimited food budget. About an hour later, I heard a clinking sound and I went upstairs to see where it was coming from. I walked into the bedroom and saw a 63 year old man shaking pennies out of a piggy bank. He filled a Ziploc bag with his bounty and plans to go to the coin machine and cash it in today. He wanted to know that if the money totals $17, can we please eat out. I turned my back and walked away.

No Guilt

If your car needs gas and you do not have money, you can't buy gas. You wouldn't think of telling the gas station owner that you need to go to work and he should give you gas for free. If you want expensive new shoes and you have no money, you buy less expensive shoes. You would never go to the store owner and say that your old shoes are no longer good and hurt your feet and if he doesn't give you the new ones, he is causing you pain. If you want a big lunch but only have a few dollars, you need to buy a smaller meal. You do not ask the restaurant to give you a full dinner and if they do not, they are responsible for your hunger and they should be ashamed of themselves. As much as we do not want to believe it, healthcare is a business. Doctors need to pay rent and buy food. In the past week, I have been given a  "guilt trip" by patients that can not afford our fees. I tell them that if they only want to pay a copay, they have to go within their insurance plan. Since we are a specialty practice, we charge more because we offer more. That is when I am told that we don't care about people and want them to stay sick. I never argue. I just say that I am sorry they feel that way. They have the option of help within their plan but they want to come to my office. That is their choice, so I refuse to be the bad one.

Eye Opening

I have been playing Mah Jongg for about thirty years. Most people play for money but we are not that competitive. Instead, we put a few dollars in an envelope and when we save enough money we go out to dinner. We usually go twice a year. Last night we made plans to go out. Sometimes we like to choose a new restaurant that no one has been to. We narrowed it down to two choices. One new place that is a few towns away and another that is in the next town. We decided on the one that is a few towns over. As we were packing up, we were figuring out who would drive to dinner. Years ago it was not a problem. Any one of us could drive. This time it was different. One of us does not drive in the dark. One sees halos. One sees blurry and the last one could drive, but slowly. We have become senior citizens with eye issues. In the end, we decided on the restaurant that is one town away and I will drive. We will save the new place for the summer when it is light out.

Happy Birthday B

Today is my sister in law's birthday. She is the kind of person that you like as soon as you meet her. Some people just have that quality. If I had to describe her comparing her to an object, I would say that she is like a pint of fried rice. When you look at the container it is small, but when you open it and look at the contents, you can't believe how much that small package holds. Since we are in the age of technology, I will describe her using "key words". She is: Nice, friendly, warm, talented, energetic, smart and bright (an inside joke), strong, inspiring, loving, caring, fun, lively and the list goes on and on. Even though the last few years have been rough, you would never know it when you are with her. She is a one of a kind person, in the best possible way. I wish her health and happiness and hope she has a wonderful birthday.

Successful Day

We had a successful garage sale yesterday. People paid us to cart away our old junk. Garage sales are also a study on human nature. People drove up in Mercedes and BMW's to look through someone else's junk. We had a man come in a Maserati . His car cost about $100,000. He purchased nine white plates that were originally from the dollar store. I sold the nine plates for $3.00. He was so happy to buy them. I had people that wanted an item that was 50 cents and they stood there thinking about it for ten minutes. How much cheaper could I sell a decorative throw pillow for that was originally $20? At the end of the day, one woman could not make the executive decision of whether or not to buy a new corkboard for one dollar. After watching her think about it, for what seemed an eternity, I handed it to her and said it was a gift. She looked shocked. In the end, I had fun and made some money. It was a good day.

Birds and Fleas

I am up with the birds. That is nothing new for me. My husband is up also, which is not his usual routine. This morning we are having a flea market or as some people refer to it, a garage sale. I decided that everything in my basement has to go. If it doesn't sell it will be put out as garbage. If I have no use for an item, why keep it? I hate clutter and other than my pictures and my children's keepsakes, I have no emotional attachment to things. I want it out and gone. Everything is in our garage waiting to be put in the driveway. It will be a long day, but hopefully people will be happier with my old stuff than I am.

Finishing Touch

I have been working on a mosaic picture for my nephew's new home. He is having the family over next week so it had to be ready. I must have glued a thousand pieces of glass to the board. I made them a tree of life filled with colorful flowers. Last night the piece was finished and the final acid wash was done. I went to bed with the feeling that it was not quite perfect. My husband said that it was gorgeous. Everyone who saw the project in stages loved it. Somehow in my mind something was missing. As I slept, it dawned on me. The tree needed to be more prominent. This morning I got up at 6am and went directly to the basement to see the picture. I saw what needed to be done. I painted some of the grout between the tiles in gold leaf. That was what was missing. That is what made the tree come to life. I just could not give the picture away knowing in my heart that it could have been better. Finally, with the finishing touch, it is ready to go to its new home.

Germaphobe

Yesterday morning I arrived at my office building to start my day. I had carpooled with one of my receptionists as my car was still in the shop. As we got to the front door of the building, we noticed two girls trying to open the door. They were both in their twenties. As we got closer we noticed why they were struggling to get in. They were trying to open the door without touching anything. Each one of them had on a surgical mask and they both had on latex gloves. My friend and I stopped about 20 feet away since they looked so weird that we did not want to get closer. For a moment we thought that there was a problem in the building and wanted to size up the situation. We soon realized that the building was fine but the girls were not. They were maneuvering the door with their elbows and feet. Finally they got the door open enough to slide in. I do not know if they work in the building or were just going for an appointment. Either way, I hope I never run into them again.

Better To Laugh

Sometimes you are better off laughing than crying. I will tell you about my day yesterday and you decide what you would have done. It all started off when my husband brought his motorcycle in to the repair shop to install a tachometer that "was only" ten dollars. By the time the mechanism was through, there was an oil change, brake fluid drain and carburetor fix. This totaled $358. Since the prima donna mechanic only wants cash, I was angry with my husband as I didn't have an extra $358 hanging around. My husband then decided to drown his sorrows at Dunkin Donuts, where my car battery died. Instead of asking one of his family members to drive over and jump the car, he decided that the sensible thing to do was pay a stranger $20 to help him. Now he had to bring my car into the  repair shop, so he decided to add on an oil change and tire rotation. I will not know that price until later. Nothing is better than being in the dark about a price. Keeps me on my feet. When all was said and done, the day cost me well over five hundred dollars, for nothing that brought me any pleasure. The best part of the day was that my parents visited their relatives in the cemetery and walked out alive. You gotta laugh.

The Last Straw

The other night I was at dinner when the waitress brought our sodas. She forgot to put down the straws. No one touched their drinks. A minute later, she returned and put a few straws down. Everyone picked one up, put it into their drink and took a sip. Then I thought to myself, why do we have to use a straw in a restaurant. When we have a drink at home with our dinner, we just sip it from the glass. No one would think of getting a straw to put into the glass. Who made a straw the standard way of drinking a beverage in a restaurant?

The Know It All

Some people know it all. Some people are know it all's. There is a difference. When you are smart and have knowledge of many topics, people will seek out your advice. They know that your answers are fact based and they trust your judgment. They ask for your opinion. You are someone who knows it all. Then, there are the other types of know it all's. They interject their knowledge when it is not asked for. If you disagree, they will argue the point. They want to be correct, at all costs. They become the kind of person you begin to avoid. We have a know it all in work. She just started as an intern. She is in her 20's and while she is book smart, her social skills need a bit of honing. I see people shying away from her. If that continues, I will have to have a talk with her. People who know it all draw other's close to them. Know it all's alienate themselves.

Little Guy

Yesterday I met my new great nephew. He is the cutest little guy. I held him in my arms for a good part of the visit. He never cried or fussed. He just slept, opened his eyes to look around and smiled. He has no idea that he was watching his first football game. He has no idea that his grandmother took his handprints and footprints to make him a picture. He has no idea that we opened and closed his fingers a hundred times just to hold his hand. He is a perfect little person at only six pounds. His skin is warm and soft and he has a head full of silky hair. He is the sweetest little boy. I will see him again in a few weeks and see how much he has grown.

True Love

At what age does a child realize what love is? Last night at dinner I saw a two year old express love towards his father. We were sitting in a restaurant with my son, daughter in law and grandson. They were seated across the table from me, all in a row. The baby was in the middle in his highchair. Out of nowhere, he wrapped his arms around my son's arm, gave a big squeeze and looked up at him with a huge smile. He then rested his head on my son's arm, still hugging it. In that one gesture, I saw so many emotions. I saw love, safety and happiness. I wish I had taken a picture. Even though I didn't, the snapshot will remain in my memory forever.

Rained Out

Some plans get rained out. Yesterday my husband had tickets to the Mets game. It poured all day but the game was still on. He got dressed in winter clothes and was just about to leave the house at 5pm when he got the email that it was cancelled. The game was rescheduled for this afternoon at 1pm. We had plans to go to see my new nephew this afternoon. My sister was supposed to sleep over her daughter's house and we were her ride home today. I immediately called her to notify her that we could not come over today and I caught her as her husband was about to drive home. She jumped in the car and came home. We will go to see the baby tomorrow instead and bring my sister with us. One rainout led to another,but we will do everything we planned this weekend regardless of it.

Watching The Clouds

Will there or won't there be a storm? That is the question. Since Hurricane Sandy, we are all a bit gun shy. There are conflicting weather reports about what the next few days will bring. My office is on "storm alert" and we have tried to tie up all loose ends. We have exchanged telephone numbers, put out the lanterns and collated patient lists. We have the emergency numbers for our building maintenance company. I think we are going a bit overboard but I will not be the one to say it. Tonight my husband is supposed to be going to a baseball game so we will be watching the sky all day. Hopefully it is all hype.

Real Housewives

Last night I did a workshop for a house party. It was on the south shore of Long Island. I felt like I stepped into an episode of The Real Housewives. Each woman wore a sleeveless, plunging neckline top and six inch heels. I wore long sleeves and flat shoes. When I arrived,  the wine was flowing and I am sure that most women were on at least their second goblet. There were more h'or d'oeuvres than at most weddings. Food on platters and food on sticks. At 8pm we sat around the large dining room table that fit 20 people. Half of the women were very attentive and interactive. The other half just wanted more wine and meat on a stick.  I spoke for one hour and when I was done some of the women asked for my business card. The hostess said she was very happy with the discussion and would be calling me again. She must have liked it because she paid me more that we had agreed on. All in all it was a great but different evening.