Little Bit

Yesterday, I went to a birthday brunch at Ayhan's Mediterranean Restaurant. As soon as I walked in, I looked around at the food choices. There were stations set up with foods ranging from breakfast to dinner choices. The only other buffets I have been to are the ones at a Chinese restaurant and for some reason, I always get sick after eating them. I walked around the buffet tables and thought that the food presentation looked so clean and organized. There were small plates of each food choice and I thought that was smart. That meant that as soon as the plate was empty they would replace it with fresh food. They had eggs, pancakes, french toast, salads, fishes, and then the meat and rice dishes. There must have been 40 choices and each one looked delicious. I got a plate and decided to taste everything. I placed one teaspoon of each selection on a plate. The plate was totally covered. I got to taste foods that I never would have and loved them all. The waitstaff was superb and they even rearranged tables for us to take family pictures. They went above and beyond to make our special celebration even better.

Happy 90th

Today is my father's 90th birthday! We will celebrate with the immediate family at a birthday brunch in a neighborhood restaurant. I thank G-d every day for my parents. My mother will be 90 in March. If you saw them, you would think they are in their late 70's. They look strong and my mother is more of a fashionista than I am. My father is still the smartest man I know and he can fix almost anything. He still drives and they are very independent people. They make me laugh when they go places tell me that there were "old people" there. I always ask, "How much older could they be?" Since my father started dialysis, they have made a group of new friends from the dialysis center. Wherever my parents go, they make friends because they are two of the nicest people you could meet. Happy Birthday Daddy and many, many more.

Home Cooking

I got up this morning in the mood to cook. Since there are only two of us living here, I cook less frequently. I decided to make homemade macaroni and cheese and salmon croquets. I usually just make packaged mac and cheese because the home made version is not a cost efficient dish. The last time I made it, it cost almost $12. I used a few types of cheeses and cheese is not cheap. The dish tasted great, but not worth the money for the amount of servings. For years after that I stuck to the 89 cent Kraft version and everyone was happy. Today I will go "hog wild" and spend the money. I am also making salmon croquets. I never use formal recipes. I just toss in whatever I think will work. Most times the results are wonderful. On the occasion that they are not, I bring it to work. My office staff will eat dirt if you put it on a plate. My best story about my salmon croquets goes back years ago. My sister was having a busy day running around from work to errands and then some evening activity. She said she had no time to eat. I told her to stop by my house and I would meet her in the street with some hot salmon croquets wrapped in tin foil. She ate them as she drove from place to place. She told me that it was the best food she ever ate. I do not think it was the salmon that tasted so good. I think it was the extra ingredient of love.

Turning the Corner

My grandson is now five months old. He is growing every day and so am I. As much as I do not want to admit it, you do lose some parenting skills after 30 years. I was never nervous with my own children. To be honest, I do not even remember the daily activities we did. They were born, went to school and got married. The specifics of daily life are just a blur. Now, I am responsible for my grandson 1 hour 4 days a week and one evening a week. At the beginning I was scared, primarily because he was a preemie and needed extra care. Now he is over 13 pounds and is reaching the milestones that are expected of him. I no longer have to listen to him breathe when he eats and I no longer have to watch his head flop around. I can now just relax and enjoy.

Old World

One of my evening receptionists has been working for me for six years. I have watched her graduate college, receive her Master's Degree and start an internship. She got engaged last week. She got married Thursday. Her husband has lived in America for many years, since he was a teenager. He graduated college and is doing an internship for a large company. The company may downsize and if they do, he will lose his visa. They had been dating for 2 years and planned to get married next year, but circumstances moved the date up. They had a civil ceremony on Thursday and will fly to India in November for an elaborate wedding. Both families are traditional and feel that the civil ceremony was the formality for a visa but will not consider them married until the religious wedding. Her husband has moved in with her family, but must sleep in the basement guest room until they return from India. She will sleep upstairs in her bedroom. Odd as it seems, it is also nice. It shows respect for your parents and the traditions they hold dear.

Honey

I am not the best sleeper. I always envied people that could fall asleep in one minute and sleep through the night. I fall asleep and wake up one hour later. Then I toss and turn for 6 more until the alarm goes off. I am not the type of person to use medications, but occasionally after a week with only a dozen total hours of sleep, I take 1/2 of an ambien. I hate to do it and for some reason feel guilty. I have the same bottle of pills for about 2 years and the prescription only contained 30 pills. Yesterday on Yahoo's home page, I saw an article about 10 ways to use honey. I read it and when I came to number 10, I was interested. It said that if you awake during the night and cannot fall back to sleep it may be due to hormones. If you eat 1 teaspoon of honey mixed with a few shakes of salt, it will balance things out and you will return to sleep. Last night, after I woke up at 11:30pm, I went downstairs and filled a spoon with honey. I added a bit of salt to it and swallowed it. Lo and behold, I must have fallen asleep. I woke up this morning at 6am. Was it a fluke or did it really work? I guess I will have to do it a few more times to be convinced.

Moving Images

One great thing about the computer age is the ability to send pictures in an instant. I remember the days when we had to send them through the regular mail. We filled out an envelope, put them into the mail box and prayed that we would get them back in 10 days. Now all we do is email them from our camera or phone. For some reason, there are times when the pictures do not open the same way. Sometimes they come in as windows picture gallery and other times they come in as a download attachment. Yesterday, the pictures that were sent to me just disappeared. They arrived via email and downloaded somewhere, but a moment later they were nowhere to be found. I searched and searched and finally gave up. This morning when I turned on my computer to write this blog, there they were. They were sitting on my desktop waiting to be put into their special folders. I guess they were playing hard to get.

Child Care

My daughter in law has gone back to work. Since my son works evenings, they have child care pretty much covered. For the hour a day between their work shifts, I will go to their house and babysit. The only problem would be if my son needs to work an occasional day shift. We asked around for anyone that knows a person to be an "on call" babysitter. Someone who could look after the baby for one day every few weeks or months. One of my friends said that she knew of a nice stay at home mom. My daughter in law called the woman and set up a meeting. She made it for when the woman's children were home as she wanted to also interview "the surroundings". As soon as my son and daughter in law walked in to the woman's house, the children, ages 3 and 6 came rushing towards the baby screaming, "I want him, I want him". They proceeded to start pulling at his legs and face and grabbing him. My son whisked him out of their range and instantaneously decided that there was no way his son would ever be left alone here. Back to the drawing board.

Deep Breath

This morning my family can take a deep breath. The wedding was wonderful and every plan went perfectly. The bride looked beautiful and the groom beamed with joy. The babies sat silently through the ceremony and behaved like angels the entire day. The food was great, the music entertaining and the guests enjoyed themselves. I saw people there that I had not seen in 25 years. It was amazing that none of us looked a day older. In reality we really did, but we were looking at each other with the reference of 1998. So much planning went into this party and it showed. At the end of the party my nephew, the groom, said, "It feels like it was over in a minute". I guess that is why they say time flies when you are having fun. I am now going to the bagel store to have my "bagel breakfast" that has been a tradition for 9 years. I like my children to ride back to Massachusetts with their stomach's full of dough.

Four For Four

Today is my nephew's wedding. He is the fourth out of four grandchildren to be married. My son from New England arrived at midnight, even though he was not originally coming because his daughter was sick. He waited until the last second to make the decision to get on the road. It is beautiful weather, so the ceremony will be outdoors. My nephew is non traditional, so we were all a bit surprised that he wanted a totally traditional wedding. His future wife is beautiful inside and out. They are a perfect love match. They met four years ago at Taco Bell. I guess you never know where you will find your one true love. I wish them health and happiness on their wedding day.

The Waiting Game

My family has waited for 15 months for my nephew's upcoming wedding. Every loose end has been tied up. Who would have calculated in a cold? My granddaughter from Massachusetts caught a cold at the beginning of the week. Her parents took her to the doctor on Monday and were told to only give Tylenol. She did not improve, so they brought her back on Wednesday and were told to just give Tylenol. The cold turned into a cough and she made another trip to the doctor. Again, Tylenol. Doctors are very reluctant to prescribe antibiotics. When my kids were little if you had one drip in your nose, you took amoxicillin for 10 days. Not anymore. Now it is the waiting game. We do not think they will be coming to the wedding now, as she will not be comfortable away from her surroundings since she is sick and my son doesn't want to get anyone else sick. The final decision will be made this afternoon. If they do not come this weekend they will come next weekend, but they will miss the long awaited for wedding.

Replacement

I have worn contact lenses for over 40 years. I started off with the hard type and moved on to the soft ones. Next, I began to wear the ones you throw out every two weeks. I do not know about you, but as long as they don't hurt my eyes, I stretch the two weeks as long as I can. Two weeks has often turned into 8 months. At one point, I put in the lens and "feel something in my eye". I wear it all day and make excuses for it. Maybe a piece of dust flew in or maybe an eyelash. Could it be allergy season? I usually do this for about two days before I give in and put in a new lens. When will I ever learn?

Safe in Daddy's Arms

My son sent me some pictures of his summertime vacation. Some of them were of him and his daughter in a swimming pool. It was almost the same picture I have of me and him when he was little and my father and I when I was little. When I saw the picture, I had a flashback. I remember the feeling of my father holding me in the cool water. I remember how the warmth of his body made the chill of the pool better. I had that same feeling but in reverse when I held my son in the pool for the first time. His tiny warm body warming up my arms. That picture jogged such wonderful memories.

Festivities

Today the festivities begin. My nephew will be getting married Saturday and the rehearsal dinner is tonight. Rehearsal dinners have become a part of the wedding celebration, even though most people no longer rehearse. It has become a pre-gathering of the closest people to the bride and groom. It sets the happy tone for the upcoming party. The out of town guests are slowly trickling in. The last minute plans are being finished. All loose ends are being tied up. I can hardly wait until Saturday.

Flexability

I was talking about children with my sister and our friend yesterday. We are all devoted grandmother's. We learned the rules quickly and use them wisely. The rules of grandparenting differ greatly from the rules of parenting. The basics still apply. Safety is above everything. Don't run with scissors, don't eat too much candy, cross at the corners, cover all pointy furniture, and so on. We have added a few new rules to our repertoire. No matter what we are asked to feed the grandchild, if it is larger than a pea, it isn't happening. We only feed soft, small foods that can slide down a child's throat with ease. We treat the grandchildren like a rental car. There will be a full inspection upon arrival and another upon departure. All marks, scrapes and black and blue marks will be duly noted in our journal. We will not be blamed for any damaged goods that did not happen on our watch. We have also learned flexibility. We go with the flow, easier than we did with our own kids. If we are told we need to watch the grandchildren for an hour or a day or a week, we smile and agree with pleasure. We shift our plans and our mindset to accommodate our children, their parents. If we disagree with anything we are told, we dance around the subject with the agility of a ballerina, until we get the issue resolved. Everything we do, is for those beautiful and handsome little faces that smile back at us.

Great Pickin's

When my children were little we went to every museum and event on Long Island. The only thing we never did was go apple picking. Now that they are older, I have gone two years in a row. This year my baby grandson went. I always wonder exactly how much a four month old can really process about his environment. From the moment we went into the orchards, he made it clear he would not be happy if he remained in the stroller. My daughter in law took him out of it and held him for the entire time we were there. He was mesmerized. He kept looking from side to side, soaking in the atmosphere. when she placed him near a tree, he felt the apples. She picked one and put it into his hand and he clutched it for quite a while. He was so content just being part of the "pickers". We took a lot of pictures. By "we", I mean my son. I am not a picture taker. The weather was gorgeous and we had the best time. We could not have "picked" a better activity.

Holy Day

Today is a holy day. It is a day to atone for your sins. It is a day to ask for and give forgiveness. The concept is a good one, but why is it only one day of the year. People should have a daily cleansing. A daily forgiveness. No one should have to go a day or week or month or year to forgive or be forgiven. It should be done on a daily basis, just like your work desk. Do not leave any unfinished business over until the next day. It becomes more cumbersome and weighty. It adds on to the next day's work and gets harder to clean up. End the day nicely and start each new one fresh. On the next holy day, all you will need to do is enjoy the beautiful weather.

Adaptions

Sometimes I want things that are not made. That is when I need to make adaptions. Sometimes they work and sometimes they do not. Today I will try one and hope for the best. Since my daughter in law went back to work, I care for my grandson for about an hour each day. I call it the "Changing of the guard". It is the hour between when my son goes to work and my daughter in law arrives home. I have a car seat base in my car, but we pass the stroller base from person to person. I saw an umbrella type of stroller in the store, but my grandson is not big enough for it yet. Here is where my adaption will come in. Since he is only 13 pounds and his head is still wobbly, he needs extra support. These type of strollers do not have that. I was thinking that if I put a Sobe type pillow (the ones with the mini beads) as the backrest of the stroller, he would be form fitted into it and not slide around. It might or might not work. I will know the answer later today.

Shifting Your Mindset

We have many levels of staff members at my job. Some are office staff, some are research staff, some are volunteers. We also have interns, post doctoral students and licensed doctors. The research and volunteer staff work for free in order to have my office as a reference for graduate school. Our name carries a lot of weight when applying for schools. For the past three years we have had a woman on our volunteer research team. She already had her Master's Degree but wanted to go back for her Ph.D. She made graduate school and was ready for her internship. We hired her as an intern. Now comes the problem. Some doctors still see her as a volunteer and not as an intern. They are having a hard time shifting gears and seeing her as a clinical professional. They think of her as the fun loving, joking around person they have known for years. She lacks the professional credibility that is necessary to be their co worker. Her feelings are being hurt and the doctors have no idea she feels this way. Today I will hold a staff meeting and let them know how she feels. I am sure things will be different tomorrow.

I Don't Know

For my entire life, I have answered people's questions. When they ask "Why?", I give an answer. Sometimes I am asked why other people do what they do. I still give an answer. Sometimes the answer is a true fact and sometimes it is speculation. Usually, when I speculate, it is to make the other person look better or seem more sensible. From now on, I am not doing that. It is a hard habit to break. From now on, I will only answer for myself. If I know the answer I will say it. If I don't I will just say, "I don't know". Cut and dry, no follow up words.

Labels

People say they hate labels, but certain labels are important. Labels regarding people have no purpose. Labels regarding things do. How many of us look back at old pictures and have no idea who some of the people are? We remember the faces that are closest to us, but not the others. If we labeled them before we put them into our albums, we would know. Other labels that are important are medication labels. We all know to use the full doses of antibiotics, so we should never have any extra. The medications that really need to be labeled are the ointments, salves and lotions. We always have most of the tube left and just place it into our medicine cabinets. A year later, we have no idea what it was used for. Was it the rash on our arm or the dry skin on our feet? I have begun to label exactly what it was used for before I put it away. That way I will never have to guess again.

Food

I woke up today and just feel full. I have no idea what I want for breakfast, much less lunch. I ate enough this weekend to last me until Tuesday. I always wonder how we decide what we are in the mood to eat. Why do I want pizza one day and Chinese food the next. Is it my brain or my stomach that gives the cues?

Introduction

This afternoon is my grandson's Baptism. There will be a church service and a big party after that. As in all religions, we do certain sacraments at face value and do not delve into the full meaning. According to what I am told, today is the day that a baby is bought into God's family.  Some Christian denominations do not baptize infants, as they feel that only a person that understands the religion should have that sacrament. For Catholics, as far as I know, once an infant is baptized, he is cared for by God. In my religion, Judaism, as soon as he was born, God watches out for him. I was never a person to take anything at face value, so I ruminate over the meaning and sensibility of everything. That is why I do not sleep at night. Too much thinking. Here is my dilemma. There is only one God. Our religion is either the one we were born into or the one we feel most comfortable worshiping. If in Catholicism, he is only acknowledged after Baptism, then who watched over him as he slept in the NICU? How can families pray for a baby's health, if according to their beliefs, God does not recognize him yet? Does God make these rules, or do we? Anyway, this afternoon I will sit in a church, as the Catholic families sing praise to Jesus, the King of The Jews, who was never Christian. I think I need an aspirin.

Who They Were

After weeks of searching, I finally found my family. I have traced them back to the ship's registries when they arrived in America. It was not an easy task since the names I had been searching were not the names that were on the passenger lists. For one family, the first names were different. For the other family, the last name was different. In those days, immigrants were scared of authority and were compliant. The did not want to rock the boat, no pun intended. They did what they were told. Most families came to America in stages. Usually the father or eldest son came and they brought over the rest of the family person by person. On the ship's registry, they had to account for who paid for their ticket and where they would be residing when they arrived. I know the houses they came to and have even looked at them on the internet. They still look exactly as they did, from the outside. One was in Williamsburg and the other in Cobble Hill. I keep thinking about the names, though. For instance, my grandfather, spent 16 years with one name. He boarded the ship with that name. As soon as he stepped foot in America, a stranger renamed him. His identity was forever changed. How did that feel to him? It took 99 years for his granddaughter, me, to acknowledge who he really was. Even though it doesn't change a thing, it still matters.

Name Game

Last night my parents came to my house for a holiday dinner. I told them to come early since I wanted some extra "alone time" with them. I have been doing a genealogy search and needed information. I have information as far back as my great grandparents arrival to the United States, but I cannot find any ship's registry stating their names. I told this to my father and he thought and thought. Then he came up with possibilities of other names that might be relevant. My last maiden name might not be the original name. My grandmother's first name might not be her real one either. I now have a list of alternatives and will start a new search. I am determined to learn more.

L'Shana Tova

L'Shana Tova. Happy New Year. Happy 5774. Just looking at the number amazes me. Realizing how many years my culture has existed on the record books. The year 2013 looks like a baby in comparison. As usual, it is a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and the temperature is so comfortable. There is a joke that says if you plan a celebration on the Jewish holidays, you are assured of good weather. That fact usually holds true. Tonight I will be having family over for a holiday dinner, so I will start cooking in the early afternoon. I still try to make the traditional foods. We will have salad, chicken, roast beef, mushroom barley and root vegetables. Most of all, we will have quality family time.

Pulling Together

Today is the first day of school for most districts in my county. The department of education seems to be one of the most disorganized I have ever seen. Last spring, my daughter in law was laid off. Her job title was eliminated. Over the summer she did not hear from her school district. Yesterday afternoon, at 2:15pm they called her and asked her back. She needed to let them know by 3pm. She called me and asked if I could watch the baby for 1 hour a day. I agreed to that and then she called the school to accept the job. She starts this morning. How could a school district not know that an employee was needed until the last second? She had called personnel the previous week and was told there were no jobs. How do they expect a person to rearrange their lives on a moments notice? In her case, the family pulled together. What happens when you do not have a support system?

Feeling Good

Sometimes it takes a small thing to brighten up our day. How many of us have been waiting in line behind someone that has a big order when the manager opens up a new register and says, "Next in line". We feel like we have been victorious, even though we did nothing. How many of us have created a new online account and see the word "strong password"? For some reason we feel good about that, like we have impressed our computer with our intellect. How many times have we "made the light" at a large intersection? We silently say, "Yes!", as we safely pass through. Getting a close parking spot at the mall is like hitting the lottery. It is the small things that count in life. It doesn't always have to be "go big or go home".

Labor Day

It is finally Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer. Technically, summer ends in late September, but as far as most people are concerned, today is the last day. We define summer by vacations, pools, beaches, picnics and relaxation. This week, teachers return to work. As I sat at the pool yesterday, I heard my friends lament about "going back" to work. I interrupted and said, "Imagine how I feel. I never left". They all looked at me and shook their heads. While they slept late, I went to work. While they lounged around, I went to work. While they took walks, I sat in traffic. Considering they had 10 weeks off, they shouldn't complain. They always back up their complaints with the theory that being around children is hard work. I work with adults and that is no walk in the park either. Every job is work. Most do not only require you to be there about 100 days a year. So, pack away the white shoes and pants, take a deep breath and start a new semester.

What's In Your Wallet?

Our wallet is our life. It carries information that tells the world about us. It holds our identity. It holds our medical plans. It holds our finances, in both cash and credit. It holds our family pictures. When we know where it is, we are secure. When we lose it, we are devastated. This morning I was cleaning out my pool bag. I do this at the end of each summer and start fresh the next year. As I got to the bottom of the bag, I saw a wallet. It was not mine. I opened it up and saw that it belonged to a friend. It seems that he must have thrown it into my bag yesterday, thinking he was putting it into his wife's bag. It was 7am and I pondered how early I should call their house. I could just imagine the moment when he realized it was missing. Feeling that sinking pit in his stomach, knowing that he would need to cancel credit cards and have his driver's license reissued. I waited until 7:45am to place the call. It seems he never even knew it was missing. Crisis averted.