Good Riddence

 2020 will finally end. It was a year of pandemic and pandemonium. We lived with a sick society in two senses of the word. Physically, we were helpless until we did research and understood the enemy. Spiritually we showed that human nature is sick and ugly and we are no better than wild animals. Our president elect thinks his vice president elect is president. Once again, I heard him call her the president elect. I believe the election was stolen and if every person would have had to vote with ID, it would be a different outcome. As my mother in law used to say, "Honey, that is water over the bridge". Today is my last day as a real worker. Monday I begin as a retired part time worker. I was seriously going to end the blog today. Over and out. I decided to still write it but maybe not every day. That is to be determined. So Happy New Year to all and I pray for a better 2021.

Off The Clock

 One more alarm. After tomorrow I will not have to set my alarm to get up. My working hours will change due to my retirement, so I will be getting up later. That feels like the best retirement gift of them all. I am an early riser by nature so I will be up well before the time I need to. Just that small change in routine feels like a huge life change.

Parteeny

 Today is my office parteeny. It is my new word for a tiny party. For the past sixteen years we had a big party with the entire staff. On this, the seventeenth year I am here, it will be with a few people. It will be with the ones we have been around since the virus came to town. I could also call it a podteeny, since we now call people who we are around a lot our pod. There will be good food and gifts and I will probably enjoy the small gathering more than the large one.

Numbers Do Lie

 I was appalled last week when the local newspaper had a headline that read "Police turn down 25% raise in proposed contract". It was a blatant lie that no one would know unless they read the contract. To 99% of the people, it looked like the police were being greedy, in a world where they are now scrutinized for doing their jobs. The numbers totaled no where near 25%. No matter how you did the math the numbers were off. The first year was 1%, the second 1% and so on. They were asked to cut vacation days and sick days by about 20%. They were asked to pay into health insurance at a hefty monetary loss. They were asked to work a few free days a year. If you did the research, this is public knowledge but no one goes past reading the headline. All we saw was the bold lie of a headline of a liberal newspaper. It was insulting to every law enforcement officer. Haven't they gone through enough. Having the facts on that matter even more strongly reinforces the numbers "game" of the election. Unless a non biased bonded agency goes through and verifies each presidential vote, I will never be convinced that Biden won fair and square. If I see such lies and numerical manipulation in my county, it must be on a grander scale nationally. To me, Biden will forever be the man who stole the election.

Old Age

 Old age is creeping in but I plan an offensive attack. Since I have been off for about two weeks, being non productive, my mind is in turmoil. There are no reminders, no important projects, no responsibilities. Tomorrow I will reset it to become normally working. It will know dates, times and important issues. Time off is good, but time on is better.

In Your Lane

 You are always safest when you stay in your own lane. I am not only referring to traffic. I am referring to life. Our lane means our business. Getting out of your lane means crossing over to someone else's business. No one wants to share their lane or be pushed out of it. Stay safe. Stay in your lane.

Online

 After years of saying I would not do it, I have finally opened up online accounts. I do not trust USPS to reroute my mail when I am out of town, so I decided to control my bills online. I am probably the last holdout to enter the modern age. I now have to enter this information into a notebook and guard it with my life. Actually I will make two books. I need total control.

Thanks Sis

 I feel like I have turned a corner. A part of my life is changing. Things that I did not see as so important at the time have become more valuable than ever. I thank my sister for that. While I am the family historian on paper, she is the family historian on film and video. I am grateful for he persistence at family gatherings for chronicling events. Without her, I would not be able to see my parents sing. I would not be able to see them talking around the table at gatherings. They would not be a tangible memory.  I will forever be grateful for her insight when she made sure that our family history would never be lost.

I'm Late

 My blog is late today. I have spent the last 6 hours setting up my new phone. Last night my son spent 2 hours doing it. I love the phone. It is the newest one made but I had to redo everything. This was a great birthday gift. I am a minimalist but I must admit that I did enjoy getting special gifts yesterday. Turning 65 has it's perks. I have been upgraded technology wise with three new "toys". All that I thought I was getting was scratch off tickets. I will always remember my 65th birthday.

65

 Today is my 65th birthday. It is the first one without both of my parents. I started the day off listening to voicemails from them so I could just hear their voices. Soon my sister and I will leave for the cemetery to be with them. This is not a morbid act, it is an act of love and respect. I will be with the people that loved me more than life itself. I will be showing them that they are never gone and my special day is their special day. They are my roots. They are my wings. Whatever I am is because of the foundation they built for me.

Holiday Season

 The holiday season is here and it has no feeling. Something feels missing. Human contact. How can we celebrate when we need to alienate? No holiday hugs, no holiday smiles, no holiday cheers, no holiday warmth. We sit at home, order gifts online for contact less delivery. We FaceTime thank you's. The old expression that you do not know what you have until it is gone rings true. Hopefully next year the warmth will return.

Delete

 I was never a big social media person. During the pandemic, protests and election, I added a few people to my accounts to see what was happening around the world. This morning I deleted everyone that does not deal with arts and crafts and fashion. On December 22, I will enter a world of selective ignorance. I do not want to know opinions, views or emotions. Show me how to cut, glue and paint. That is it. I am creating my own paradise which is long overdue. It is something I need, in this upsetting world, to keep my sanity.

Double Life

 I am leading a double life. I have to duplicate everything for a second household. Simple things that we need one of, I must remember to have two of. This morning I re wrote my password book. If I forgot to take it with me, I would never be able to get into any websites. I need to manage two homes 1300 miles apart without a glitch. My mind keeps running the loop to see what I could be missing. I have time to do this but I like to be one step ahead of the game.

Four More Days

 I go to work Monday and then the following Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I will then be retired but still working less hours. I will not have to wake up at 6am. I will be going in a bit later in the morning as my hours have to be less. Four days and then life takes on a new phase. Getting up an hour later is not a big thing but it marks a change in my life. It shows me that after 65 years, I have earned the right to slow down and enjoy life. I am looking forward to that.

Snow Day

 After going back to work for one day, I am off for snow today. I will adjust my vacation days and work on Monday instead. After last year's pleasant weather, the snow feels odd. We will all shovel out and hope that this type of storm does not repeat itself.

Back to Work

 It feels like I have not been to work in ages. Today I go back and work for two days and then I am off for another week. If there is a snow storm tomorrow I will take off and work Monday instead. I feel out of the work routine. Once 2021 begins, I will only work three days a week. It will be a nice mix of retirement and work. I just wish it wasn't so cold this morning. It makes my return that much harder.

Back Home

After a week in Florida I returned home last night. I had no internet or television for 6 days. To be honest, I think I was better off. I concentrated on the warm sunshine, pleasant people and nature's beauty. It was a bit sad to leave. Everything went better than planned and I am now a second home owner. It was a peaceful week and I never heard a bad word until the plane landed in NY. That is when people started to scream nastily at each other. My happy bubble was broken.

Catfish

 Most of us have heard the expression "catfish" or to be "catfished". It started off as an online dating expression, when the person you were talking to was not who they really are. It was who you believed they were and when the reality was exposed, it usually brought heartache. The true meaning of a catfish and what it does is a bit different. When flounder or cod fish are caught in the ocean and put in the holding tanks, they tend to be still and not move around. By being still their meat becomes mushy and when they arrive at their destination they are barely able to be sold. If you throw a catfish into the holding tank it provokes the fish to swim around to get away from it and thus keeps their meat firm for sale. President Trump is a catfish. For four years he has had people (Democrats) swim around, being on their guard and keeping their minds sharp. They never stood still. There was always plotting and planning and a bit of scheming. They never rested and got lazy. If you take the catfish out of the tank, the laziness will return. The world will stop moving and sit there and get mushy again. There will be no exciting action. The media will have no stories to tell. Biden will be like a piece of coral. While it looks good, there is a debate as to whether or not is it actually alive. Every once and a while it moves and we are in awe. Then it goes back to rest on a log.

I Want a Me

 Sometimes I wish I had a me. Someone I could turn to, to do all of my thinking. I have my sister, who is the best support anyone could ever ask for, but if I had her do all of my thinking, it would be overwhelming. I need to find an alternate me. The other day I was talking to my brother in law and he mentioned an old movie titled, "Desperately Seeking Susan". It was a Madonna movie. After looking at that title a few times, I realized that I am desperately seeking Susan. It has worked for everyone else, so why not for me.

On Call

 I am on call 24 hours a day.Maybe that is why I do not sleep well. My brain has not learned the fine art of turning itself off. When the day is done, my brain decides to figure out the next day, just to be one step ahead of the game. Buying a house comes along with paperwork, utilities, banking and many, many phone calls. My husband said three words, "let's buy it", and I have done nothing but paperwork, etc, for six weeks. When I get emails at 8pm, he doesn't understand why. Any major life change takes work. He just doesn't realize how much.

Lists

 My lists are growing lists. By this time next week I will be the owner of a second home. There are so many things that need to be done. I write lists and laminate them. Then I bind them into a notebook. I am creating a guideline portfolio for myself. I am leaving nothing to my memory. So far it is working out well. I just need to remember to take the book with me. I will write a list for that too.

Never Late

 This morning I overslept by 40 minutes but will still leave for work on time. That is because I leave a time buffer into my schedule and move quick. Gotta run!

Worry

Whether we worry or not, if we cannot fix a situation our worrying is futile. When worry turns to danger, then there must be a call to action. In most cases worrying just stays worrying and then becomes the new norm. I have decided that at my age, I will put a great effort into not worrying about things I have no control over. I access their effect on my life and evaluate the reaction that I must take. In most cases, no action is needed. The situations fixes itself.

December

 Today is December 1st. It snuck up upon us while we were busy worrying about the world. It hid behind the trees with it's sneakers, waiting to creep into our calendar. No one is ready for it. Wasn't is July yesterday? The holiday season will start soon and along with it will come the regulations that people will adhere to in their own way. This is my birthday month. Today I am Medicare legal. I think I saw a few more grey hairs this morning.

No Problem

 I am creating a "no problem" world for myself. All problems get solved one way or the other. Whether or not you carry on and upset yourself, the solution remains the same. This morning there was an email with a small "snafu" about my new house. To me, it is nothing. My husband is blowing it out of proportion. When it solves itself later on in the day, he will have upset himself and I will not have.

Almost Old

 I have one more day until I am officially old in the eyes of the government. On December 1, I start Medicare. I used to think that I would feel bad getting old, but when I see what the world has to offer, I am at peace with it. It feels like when you are in a crowd and someone yells, "move along, move along". Along with Medicare comes peace of mind. I do not have to worry about healthcare. I do not have to worry about getting fired from a job. No more resumes. No more time crunches. It's just me. Floating along on my own schedule, not giving a damn.

Treasure Hunt

 I am still finding treasures from my parents. Over the years, whenever my parents came to visit, my father would bring a box filled of assorted things. Most were of no value, like old magazines, some were of a bit of value, and some would be sentimental. About 20 years ago, he brought me a pendent. I have no idea who's it was. It was gold with stones in it. I threw it into my spare jewelry box and saw it every few years when I went on a cleaning rampage. I came across it this morning. I took it out of the box and took a good look at it. It was beautiful. It is a gold square set on an angle. It has channel set stones on the edge and regular set stones in the center shaped in a globe. How could I have not seen the beauty in it all of these years? I put it on and it looks so pretty. Sometimes it takes a while to see what is right under your nose.

Family Time

 Traffic was minimal. Food was plentiful. Company was delightful. That was the perfect storm. A wonderful Thanksgiving was just what the doctor ordered for many families. No politics. No arguments. Just light conversation, delicious food and laughter. Best medicine for an ailing society.

Thanksgiving 2020

 Thanksgiving 2020 will be different from all other's. The "more the merrier" has turned into "the less the better". Big government has said they will fine families from having more than the mandated number of people at their house. Law enforcement has said they will not adhere to that order. Things I used to be thankful for seem mundane. Now I am thankful for other's. I am thankful that:

My mother and father are no longer here to see the world in chaos. They lived a peaceful, quiet, normal life and checked out in time. 

I am thankful that the violent protests and riots have ceased, so my children can be a bit safer at work.

I am thankful that destructive people feel they have "won the war", never realizing that soon the rug will be pulled out from under them.

I am thankful that millions of people now realize that America is really a third world country and elections are skewed.

I am thankful that I now know that the news I always trusted, is fake news, so that I will have to dig a bit deeper to see the real truth. 

I am thankful that I am old. Old people let things roll off their shoulders and know that fighting is futile. 

I am thankful that in 36 days  I will not have to see the world in 20/20 vision.

 

 

Nature, Pudding, Tides and Electricity

 The title of this blog may seem confusing but I will explain it. These four words all tie into American politics. Here is the breakdown:

Nature: If you make a list of all of the triumphs that President Trump has accomplished for America, they are astounding. He did what he said he would. The economy is soaring, the stock market is at it's all time high at 30,000. Even with the virus, we are a more financially stable society than in 2016. He moved swiftly to get cures, testing and supplies for American. God forbid that NY needs more hospital beds after 2021. Biden will not rebuild the Javits Center. Cuomo looked a gift horse in the mouth. If President Trump lost votes, it was greatly because of the nature of his personality. He never toned it down. That was a bad move. People take brashness as arrogance. No one likes name calling. Even if you do not like a rule that you are asking the country to follow, you must follow it too. That is common sense. His deeds were great, his nature was not. His cards were not played well.

Pudding: The proof is in the pudding. You can promise America anything at election time but having it come to fruition is another story. Will we get what we are promised? Do we even know what we were promised? Most people do not. While the demeanor seemed kindly, the only way I will be a believer is when my life sees improvements. Billionaires that voted for higher taxes made no sense. When or if their financial statements show decreasing numbers, will be when they see their pudding. If things improve, I am all for it. I give everyone a fair shake. Show me my pudding. 

Tides: Tides turns. What rushes in, rushes out. Some Democrats are seeing the tide rush away from their shore. They are realizing that their ideas are not in the plan and they are voicing their unhappiness already. Their radical views are floating away as they are not what the new administration is focusing on. Windmills are at the bottom of the list. 

Electricity: The old administration is charged. They will spend the next three years re energized. A fire has been lit. They are ramped up. They will hone and chose their next candidate carefully. They will be there to pick up the pieces when that economy breaks down. People's eyes will be shocked open and they will see the reality of their choice. 

I have an open mind. I will not protest, light my town on fire, break windows or loot stores. I have a ticket to the greatest show on earth and I will sit back and watch. Who knows? I might enjoy it. If not I will have a chance to buy a new ticket in 2024.

Early Bird

 This morning my husband is having a procedure done. A spot on his nose is being removed. We need to leave the house at 8am. I am up, dressed, have snacks packed and waiting to eat breakfast. He is still snoring in bed. What makes people's temperaments so different? I will be waiting at the door while he is still shuffling around getting himself together. Who  is better off?

Vacation?

 I am off this week. I will be off 3 out of the four weeks in December. Off normally means no work. In the work I do, people suffer if I am not there. New patients that call for sick family members wait for a call back. We have all been in a position that we call a doctor's office and wait on pins and needles for them to return our call. If I do not call, no one will. We no longer have a staff, since Covid. My problem has always been that I put myself in other people's shoes and feel what they feel. So, on vacation, I will still make my calls to ease the pain of other people. The only compensation I will get is knowing that I did the right thing.

Three Words

 As I get older, I realize that there is too much talk in the world. I now mostly rely on two sets of three words. They are "I don't know" and "I don't care". It usually ends a conversation as there is no more information that I am willing to give. I wish I had thought about this years ago.

Pooh Corner

 The world does not feel right lately. It is the gut feeling that things are askew. I realized how far askew they are when an article on Yahoo news said that "Reality star's" son tests positive for Covid-19. The reality star they were speaking about is President Trump. Years ago this would be akin to treason. If slurs like this were said about Obama, the offenders would have been taken to task. How has America, as a nation, wandered so far from its original ideology? Every morning I listen to two songs to begin my day peacefully. I close my eyes and absorb the words, and hope that the positive meaning will follow me through the day.As I listened to Return to Pooh Corner this morning, I interpreted the song as it relates to my feelings. The words sung by Kenny Loggins, in a soft soothing tone, give me hope. I will show you the words and add my thoughts in bold letters. You can add your own if they differ from mine. 

Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon. (Walking through the beauty of Nature)
Posing our questions to owl and eeyore (Thinking about life's meaning)
As our days disappeared all too soon. (Life is too short)
But I've wandered much further today than I should (How have people and the world changed so much)
And I can't seem to find my way back to the wood.(We are lost as a society and do not know what we are looking for or how to get there)
So, help me if you can I've got to get
Back to the house at Pooh corner by one. (How can we find our way back to peace and normalcy before we are too late)
You'd be surprised there's so much to be done, (We need positive change for all the people in the world)
Count all the bees in the hive,(Make sure everyone is accounted for and heard. No one should be left out)
Chase all the clouds from the sky. (End the unrest and bring back beautiful days ahead)
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh. (Return to a peaceful life)
Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do, (We all feel so helpless)

Got a honey jar stuck on his nose. (Our masks)
He came to me asking help and advice (How do we stay safe from the virus)
And from here no one knows where he goes. (We need to search until a vaccine is safe)
So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there, (Who are the experts. Who can solve this)
How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear (What is the cure so we can take off the masks and hug each other again)
So, help me if you can I've got to get
Back to the house at Pooh corner by one (We need to set the clock back to normal humanity)
You'd be surprised there's so much to be done, (There is so much to do in our nation)
Count all the bees in the hive, (Everyone counts as much as the next one)
Chase all the clouds from the sky .(Return to love and respect for each other)
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh, (We need to stand together)
Back to the days of Christopher Robin, (We need internal peace)
Back to the ways of Pooh (Stop the fighting and madness. We are one people and need to act as one. No more division)

Gaslight

 In 1940, a movie titled "Gaslight" was made. The psychological term gaslighting, describes the form of psychological abuse in which the victim is gradually manipulated into doubting his or her own sanity. America is being gaslighted. Evidence is arising to show that there are gross acts of misconduct in the election results. There are affidavits of people having their families threatened if they did not certify false results. Lawyers are being told they will be killed if they assist the Trump administration. These are sworn facts. Hundreds of them. Mainstream news is silencing these facts. The facts they are presenting say that our current President is undermining the results and a sore loser. He is being blamed for their gross misdeeds and corruption. This is like a mentally ill person being taken to a sanitarium by his family and he walks out but the family is committed. Twisting facts and manipulating people is the worst from of gaslighting. I have no idea how this will end. Angel or devil.

The Pudding

 The proof is in the pudding. This is an old time phrase that means when all is said and done (the pudding made and eaten) the proof of how good or bad it was will be seen. For America, the pudding will be eaten for three years before people decided how good it came out and decide to hire new cooks. I think that the pudding mix will not turn out right as it is missing some very important ingredients but until it is made and digested, I will not judge. I will not burn down the kitchen, I will not throw the ingredients to the floor, nor will I harass the cooks making it. Other "consumers" have spent the last year trying to tear apart someone else's recipe. My friends and I are too refined for that. We are not starved savage beasts that roam the streets making sure that if they do not have their meal of choice, no one should be allowed to eat. If and when the pudding turns out wrong and makes the nation ill, we will train new cooks to come along and create a recipe that can nourish and make the American people healthy again.

Our Story

 I was dreaming last night about my parent's house. I was remembering all of the wonderful stories of family history that I was told over the years. I then realized that the stories would be forgotten when I am no longer here. I decided to write down the family history in depth from when my grandparents first met, until my parents first met. I will give a copy to each of their grandchildren, so their story will live on forever.

The Nose

 As a resurgence of the virus has begun, most people are trying to do their best to listen to the safety guidelines. Wear a mask, sanitize our hands and social distance. I have so many masks, my husband thinks I own a mask factory. I like to wear certain ones for certain purposes. One is for walking into my office although no one is ever there when I wear it. One is for in the office if a mailman walks in or a food delivery man arrives. One is for food shopping. I do not think that some people know the rules to wearing a mask. Your mouth and nose need to be covered. It is not a choice of one or the other. Covering your mouth while your nose is exposed is meaningless. This morning I saw a picture of a famous woman doing that. Mouth covered nose open. When I see someone like that in the store, I run the other way. In this day and age, I am afraid to tell them that they need to wear it correctly.

Windsong

 Last night the wind was blowing more than I had ever experienced. I have not heard such howling even in a hurricane or blizzard. At first I thought that people were talking in the street outside of my backyard. When I went upstairs to sleep, I still heard voices. When I went to the window to look outside, There was no one there but the voices were still speaking. I then realized that the voices were the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. The sounds were different because the amount of leaves on the trees was different. The density set the tone. It was scary and amazing that nature can still surprise me.

What We See

 Life is just our perception of how our mind reacts to stimulus. When I walk into my bathroom, one tile looks like Shelby's face is in it. No one else sees that but me. For years I have had a paperweight on my desk. Just today, I noticed that part of it looks like a centipede. Now, every time I sit here that will be what I see. My perception has changed forever.

Curve Ball

 Sometimes life throws us a curve ball. It is our decision to try our best to catch it or let it pass us by and just give up. Yesterday I was called by my real estate agent that I needed all of Shelby's vaccination information and his license for the Home Owners Association of my new property. I was able to get a print out of the vaccinations but I had no idea I needed a dog license. I have had a dog since 1991 and this was the first I ever heard of it. If I did not get it by yesterday, I could miss the deadline for the HOA meeting and my closing date would be pushed off. I had the real estate agent write a letter saying that Shelby would not be there the first year and they said that would help. Then I thought about it. I cannot live with maybes, I need definite. I called up the town and ran to town hall to get the license and email it to the agent to forward it to the HOA. All of this was done within 33 minutes. My agent was shocked. The curve ball was thrown and I not only caught it, I scored a point.

IDK

 These have become my three favorite letters in the English language. They are relaxing letters.They stand for I Don't Know. When someone texts me with questions that I do not want to embellish on, I respond, IDK. There are no follow up questions. When I am asked a question face to face, I respond, 'I don't know". Again, no follow up questions. No excuses, no rationalizations. Done deal. IDK is the equivalent of "diarrhea". No one ever questions that either.

Music

 Music soothes the savage beast. Music has been around since man first walked the earth. For a while, I have had music running through my head. I guess the songs sooth my soul. I have my few favorites. Last night I even dreamed about people singing them. I saw a commercial before I went to sleep and the song that was playing was "The Rainbow Connection". I know the song but never really listened to it. I played it on You Tube over and over before I went to bed. I woke up in peace.

Veterans Day

 Today is Veterans Day. Thank you to all of the young men and women who fought in the war effort over our nation's history. Too bad the nation is in such turmoil that you have once again been pushed to the side by people that have done nothing but alienate America. .

The Sock

 Since Pennsylvania has been thrown into the undecided recount state, the 270 electoral votes are now 259, so the race is even more undecided. Today I will write about something we all can agree on. A missing sock. I did laundry and after folding it, a sock was missing in action. I unfolded everything and shook things out. Still no sock. I put the lonely sock in the drawer. At work I was on a phone call and looked at my leg. It looked a bit swollen on the thigh. I felt it and it felt soft. Lo and behold the missing sock was there. Mystery solved.

Using Days

 For the past year I have not used any days off. Since we became a two person office with each person having different work responsibilities, we were both needed there daily. Now it is November. We each have at least four weeks we have to use. With six weeks left in the year, how will that be done. We asked to roll over the days until 2021 but my boss does not want that. So there will be only one person in the office on alternate days doing only their job. That is poor planning and makes no sense. I will do what I have been doing for the last year. I will go with someone else's flow and if it crashes and burns, I will walk away unscathed.

A Year

 The battle is not over, so nothing is set in stone. I have seen that over one year life can dramatically change. People are born. People die. Things that go up, go down. Things that are important become less important. Events that were unheard of happened. New diseases emerged. In the end, we all have a limited time on earth. Some battles can be fought just so far and then you realize that the battle needs to be left to fight by the person who has the power to do so. There is an expression that the proof is in the pudding. Last night I saw that the gas prices were $1.93, in my neighborhood. In one year from today I will go back to that same gas station and see what the numbers say. That will be my proof of the pudding.

New Math

 A few years ago the education system came up with the concept of common core math. It was a convoluted way to do calculations and no one really understood it. I believe it is phasing itself out. Now we have a new math. It is called election math. You take 3000 votes from Mr X and secretly transfer them to Mr Y. How many votes did Mr X get? 3000 or 0? Then you multiply this by 30 or more states that use this software and use the benchmark value of 6000 votes. 6,000 x 30 = 180,000. These votes were meant for Mr X but were put into the box or Mr Y. How many votes did Mr X get? 180,000 or 0? Now we need to calculate the votes that came in wrong that are usually discarded. If a box was blank, it counts as 0. Add in random workers that decided, on video, to fill in the boxes for Mr Y. How many votes did Mr X get. Zero or all? If a train (wreck) is leaving San Francisco at 2pm and another is leaving New York at 4am, when will they meet at Idaho? It really doesn't matter because the world will have fallen apart by then.

Thursdays

Whenever important things need to get done, they always happen on a Thursday evening. I need to have certain papers scanned and faxed by today, and of course I am not in work. So, off I go, back to my office to get things done on my day off. It's not a big deal but it is Murphy's law.

Double Trouble

 If I was a betting woman I would have put my money on the prospect of fake votes. Most of the swing states have numbers that do not add up. Just as an example, Nevada has 1,200,000 million registered voters, but 1,600,000 votes were counted. This is 125% over the registered limit. The same thing has happened in the other crucial swing states. All of them were over the 100% of registered voters. I can break down how this can happen. My mother and father received mail in ballots as I did. Both of them are dead. If I filled them out and mailed them in, and then showed up at the polls to actually vote, I would have cast 4 votes for one person. One person who anonymously was interviewed, said they sent in 6 votes for people that were no longer living at their address or deceased. The Republicans saw this coming and have been fighting this since the summer. The Democrats used the Covid excuse. Yesterday a box of mail in votes was found with 100,000 ballots, all for Biden. That sounds a bit sketchy to me. Even a career criminal would have put in a few for Trump to make it look somewhat legitimate. If Biden gets into office he will never be my President. He will always be the man that pushed out the true winner in the game of musical chairs.

No Answer

 As of this morning, there is no answer as to who won the Presidential election. I wanted an answer so my mind could be at ease. I wanted to know if my son's would be safe doing their jobs. I wanted to know if my taxes would rise. I wanted to know if the powers that be would call off their looters and rioters. I wanted to know if innocent people could sit in a restaurant without being in fear of being attacked by strangers. I wanted to know if small businesses could take down the boards on their windows for fear of them being smashed. I wanted to know if medical plans would disappear and we would have to wait for healthcare if it became government controlled. I wanted to know my life would change for the worse. I will now have to wait for ballots to be counted. Absentee, mail in, those of the dead and those found in dumpsters. Time will tell, and I will have to live with the decisions of the masses. Thank god I am old.

Vote

 I am up early and on my way to vote. After many months of horror, it will come down to this:

People will either vote for a man whose personality is brash but has done more for the country than any other president or people will vote for a man who has not done anything in 47 years but seems to be a kind but corrupt person. We will either remain law and order or move towards socialism. We will see that the virus was not any worse in America than every other country and that neither man could have waived his magic wand and eradicated it. We will have to live with the ramifications for our voting actions and god help us all if we lose our Democracy to Socialists.

The Lull

 Today is the lull before the storm. Tomorrow is the the day of process. Wednesday is the storm. Buildings are already boarding up their windows and battling down the hatches. This will be a hurricane of great proportion. If the inept candidate wins, the other side will not be happy but will act like human beings and accept that the country has spoken. If the competent candidate wins, the country will be burned down by animals that have no conscience for other people's property. They have shown that are part of a pack of destructive wolves who cannot condone a decision that they do not agree with. Yet another shooting has happened in Washington, leading to more violence. The dead man shot at a deputy, so he was shot back at and died. He was the aggressor and not an innocent bystander. The rioters are acting out for the sake of it, not for the reasoning of what law and order truly means. If you shoot first at someone, they have the right to defend themselves. The "kool aid" was mixed in May and it is still being drunk by people that have nothing else to fill their souls with.

The Card

 After weeks of waiting I finally got it. The Card. The wonderful red, white and blue card that says I am officially old. My Medicare card arrived yesterday and I could not wait to hold it in my hands. Life has changed. No more high premiums. I will be on my husbands advantage plan and walk into every doctor's office like a queen. Life is good.

The Walk

 Today my sister and I will take our spiritual walk. It has been a month of mourning our father and although we were supposed to walk yesterday, the rain precluded that. Since the sun is shining, we will walk and reminisce about a life well spent. In fact, two. We have wonderful memories of two extraordinary people. For my father, for me, this month started with a walk and now will end with a walk. The first walk was to allow him to pass into heaven without me there. The last walk will acknowledge that he is safe with my mother.

Thirty Days

 Today marks one month since my father died. It seems like forever and it seems like yesterday. This week has been a dreary one so sadness is in the air. Yesterday was the first day I did not cry. Maybe I am adjusting to the fact that my parents are gone or maybe there are just no more tears in my tear ducts.

Paper Person

 I am the paper person of the house. Most households have one assigned paper person. It is the one who opens mail, sorts it and deals with it. I am that person. My husband thins out the advertisements and eBay pieces and leaves the other goodies for me. Even thought the jobs has been a lot to do for the past 40 years, I would never turn it over to him. I like the control.

Informed Delivery

 The post office is now offering informed delivery. It is a morning snapshot of the mail that you will be receiving that day. That means they got it, scanned it, and put it out to be delivered. Lately only two of the three steps have been working. They get it, scan it and lost it. In my neighborhood, a few weeks ago, mail was received at the post office, scanned and never to be seen again. After weeks of the neighborhood fighting with the post master, the mail finally appeared at it's destinations. It took 16 days to go one mile. No one will admit to where it was lost or tossed away, but it was found. And thers are the people we are trusting with our mail away ballots. Ponder that for a moment.

The Tongue

 When my father passed away, my office sent in a tray of deli. Since my receptionist knows that my sister and I love tongue, she made sure to specify that the platter needed to have mainly tongue in it. We always laugh at the expression that the tongue is so good, it speaks for itself. The platter came in and lo and behold, not one slice of tongue. I called the restaurant and asked if she had ordered it, because she was so specific in telling me that it would be there. They said that she did order it, and there was a special note, but no one read it, so we got the generic platter. They felt terrible and offered to give us a certificate for two tongue sandwiches, whenever we want to come in. Tonight, we will celebrate our father and have our sandwiches. We will have a "tongue toast" to my dad.

Donation

 I was sitting at the computer just now, not knowing what to write. I took a moment out to read my emails. My boss emailed me asking where I would like a donation to be sent in my father's memory. I answered "The Kidney Foundation". Without dialysis we would have lost him 7 years ago. Every dollar given to any charity helps. Without those donations, the kidney dialysis machines would not be the state of the art. For cancer, or auto immune diseases, immunotherapy would not be around. New devices would only be a dream and not a reality. As I am writing this, the word immunotherapy is underlined in red, as my computer's spell check does not even recognize it. That means it is so recent that it did not update the word. To the millions of people it gives life to, every dollar was well spent.

The Gift

Yesterday my son gave me my 65th birthday gift a bit early. He said it was going to be a thoughtful gift that I could never imagine. He was correct. A few years back, my father gave me a stained glass window. This was an original pane from the front window of their house. It was a bird on a branch with the blue sky behind it. It had an air vent in it. Most people replaced it in the 1960's with clear glass. He kept it all of these years. Since my father said to keep it, I did. I mentioned the window to my son. He said he would like it, so I gave it to him. Last night he gave me my gift. He cut the main picture from the window and had it professionally framed for me. He said that way I would always have a piece of my parent's house. I cried when I saw it. It was truly the most thoughtful gift I ever received.

Finished

 The last of the furniture has been removed. My mother's cherished piano will now live in her next door neighbor's house. Just knowing that it is there gives me a sense of comfort. It is like giving a child up in an open adoption. You know it is safe and in a good home. While they are so happy to have the new addition, we are so happy knowing it will be safe and well cared for. This is the definition of a win win situation. There is an old saying that "grieving begins when the last casserole is eaten". The piano is the casserole that has just been finished.

Sleeves Up

 After four years, the fashion show has appeared again. Obama has finally come out of the Biden protection program and made a speech on his behalf. He wore the same wardrobe he had worn visiting the states when he was president. He wore an open collar shirt and his sleeves rolled up twice. This is a subliminal message. It is supposed to show him as a working man that will roll up his sleeves, pitch in and get his hands dirty. Trump on the other hand, dresses like a leader in charge of a country. Obama fooled a lot of people with his rolled up sleeves.No other president ever did that. They did not wear the "I am a working man" sleeve roll.  My plumber rolls his sleeves that way when he sticks his hand into the toilet bowl to loosen sludge. Maybe that is what Obama is doing. Shaking up the uninformed sludge so they will vote.

Probability

 "The probability that an event will occur is the fraction of times you expect to see that event in many trials. The odds are defined as the probability that the event will occur divided by the probability that the event will not occur." 

What is the probability an event will occur vs the odds it will occur? I hate to use either of these calculations. I like either yes or no, or, it did or it didn't. That's what bothers me about the election polls. Who is being asked? Who is answering honestly? The other day someone gave me their perspective on the election polls. 

1) If you voted for Trump you will vote again for him. I would say that's 100% odds.

2) If you are a Liberal and see the destruction and anarchy that is being allowed to happen, you might vote for Trump as you want law and order. You are scared of a Biden regime.

3) If you are a Democrat and fear that your safety and freedoms will turn into Socialism, you might switch parties and vote for Trump.

4) If you are a staunch Democrat, you will vote for Biden.

5) Votes do not always go down racial lines. Many Black and Latino's see that Trump has done more for them than any other President. Fact check this statement. 

If Trump won the 2016 election, how do the media polls say there will be a Biden landslide? Is it fake news? Is it skewed statistics? Is it just propaganda, that they hope will lead to Trump supporters giving up and not going to the polls? They don't calculate the strength of the Trump supporters.  

So whether we use probability, odds, or gut feeling, the answer will be seen on November 4th.

 

Cleaning

 How long does it take to clean out a house? The answer is in the hands of the cleaners. After a family member passes away, cleaning and grieving go hand in hand. Some people rip the band aid off and other people keep the wound covered indefinitely. My sister and I are "rippers". By the end of this week, our parent's house will be cleaned out. Then we feel that we can begin to properly grieve for our mother and father.

Breaking News

There is breaking news about the Democratic Presidential candidate. Emails, receipts and laptops have been discovered. Bank accounts have skyrocketed. Meetings with foreign countries have been confirmed. Shady dealings are on tape (Biden is on tape saying fire the Ukrainian prosecutor or I will not release money to your country. I will be here six more hours. The prosecutor was fired. The social media companies are ignoring the subject. It seems that some top executives of these companies are slated to be on the transition teams if that party (heaven forbid) wins. Today on Yahoo the breaking news is that an admiral has cast his vote for Biden and Trump ordered a milkshake. This is propaganda at its best. Where is the story on our good friend Hunter, the crack addict who makes millions a year from the Russians and Chinese? No where to be found. CNN has never heard of such issues, Adam (Shifty) Schiff says this a smear campaign, the mainstream ABC, CBS, NBC media are forced to mention it but try to hide it after the story of a cat up a tree. The media has a vested interest in Biden. If Biden and the addict are truly innocent, why aren't they in the media's face vehemently (or to use their favorite word, categorically) denying such accusations. That is because they know the allegations are true. Make a list, fact by fact. See who has really done well for America and who has done really well for themselves. Don't hate Trump more than you love America. He is NOT a politician. That is why America is strong again. (And just a side note...stop using the pandemic against him. Biden and Pelosi called Trump a racist and xenophobe when he closed the border in January. They wanted it open and Nancy even took a trip to Chinatown to prove her point. Imaging how many more lives would have been lost if the Democrats were in office).

Berries

 I have developed a new love for goldenberries. They are small like cherry tomatoes but yellow. When you eat them they are both tart and sweet. At first you think they are too sour but then the sweetness arrives and makes you want more. I ate them all summer and this week not one store had them. I need to find out if they are seasonal.

1-800

Reality is that nothing you own goes with you. Yesterday my sister and I had to clean out my parent's house. The items that held the most importance to us, we kept. We had to call a company to cart things away. The truck said 1- 800- Junk. I said they should have re named it 1-800- Memories. Instead of things being carted to the dump, I asked the workers to say it was going to the "donation center". For the rest of the day, they humored me and said that. For some reason I felt better. 

Debbie

Another weekend, cleaning up my parents home. My sister and I have sorted through a lifetime of memories, laughing at some and sentimentally crying through others. We are recounting stories of our past, some that have not been thought about in years. I realize that these stories have comprised the book of my parent's lives. We all leave a book. They left a warm hearted novel mixed with humor and memories. Just this morning I thought of one of those memories. When I was about 7 years old, I got a baby doll named Debbie. I slept with her every night and loved her so much. Debbie now lives in my nightstand. At 10 years old I went to sleepaway camp. I did not take Debbie as I was fearful of her being lost. After I was in camp a week, my parent wrote that they were going on a 7 day cruise. It dawned on me that Debbie would be alone in the house. When I called home a few days later, I cried that Debbie would be in an empty house. My mother assured me that Debbie would go on the cruise with them. She knew how attached I was to the doll and my mother would do everything in her power to make her daughters happy. When visiting day came around, my parents brought us pictures of their cruise. There was Debbie in the stateroom. There was Debbie at the pool. There was Debbie in the Bahamas posing in the street. She was all over, in the hands of my smiling mother. I am almost 65 years old and I never forgot the loving gesture my mother did for me when I was ten.

Old Time Music

Music has changed through the years. In the early 1900's music had a happy beat and funny words. It made you smile and sing along. The lyrics were catchy. If you added them to a banjo or the big band sound of clarinets, trumpets and trombones, you had a sure winner. The other day I heard a song from 1930. It has been going round and round in my head. The repetitive line  is, "What kind of a noise annoys an oyster when an oyster's in a stew". Say this line a few times and you will see the brilliance of the limerick. Take three minutes out of your day and keyword Frank Crumit and What Kind of a Noise Annoys an Oyster on You Tube. Listen to it and I bet you will smile and still keep humming it when it is over.

Loud Without Facts

Yesterday I overheard a conversation between my receptionist and a patient. It became a bit nasty when the patient accused my office of charging her credit card $15 without her approval. We never charged her card as we do not have the number. Her balance is $175 so why would we even charge $15? Normally she calls in her credit card payment and we destroy the information immediately. Both people got loud and I have to admit that my receptionist got a bit nasty, but this patient has not paid her bill since last month, ignores our mail and makes us call her 10 times for payment. The office does not have time for this. A while later, the patient called me yelling about the charge. I explained that this was not possible and that she needed to show me where the charge appeared on her statement. She looked online and said that she could not find it. A minute later she settled down and apologized.

Sugar Cubes

Years ago when a vaccine came out you took it. There were no political agendas, no questioning, no arguing. Now when a vaccine will come out there will be "agendas". I remember the good old days. When the newest polio vaccine came out I was in elementary school. We were all called to the school cafeteria and told to line up. We moved up the line, one by one, until it was our turn. We opened our mouth and a small sugar cube was popped into it by the school nurse. The cube had a pink liquid on it that was the vaccine. We all returned back to the classroom, our bellies full of sugar and polio. Not one child went without the vaccine. Not one parent protested. Imagine that happening today. The city would be burned down and the statues in Central Park toppled.

Happy Birthday

Today is my sister in laws birthday. We met when we were in our 20's, which seems like lifetimes ago. There are now two more generations under us, but I still feel like we are the same as the day we met. I am lucky to say that I would have chosen her as a friend even if life had not chosen her as my relative. Family get togethers are a sure thing with lots of laughs. She is kind, loving and happy and the most upbeat and inspirational person I know. I wish her a continued lifetime of health and happiness and any other blessings that would like to join in. 

Columbus Day

Today is Columbus Day, or is it. I have not checked this morning if people have cancelled this holiday. For some reason, people are cancelling holidays without asking me. Labor Day was eliminated for a lot of businesses. I heard rumors that Columbus would follow. Why am I being told that a national holiday can be discarded by the whim of some organization? Where is the vote? Where is the democracy? My favorite rice is now going undercover and it’s  pancake mix counterpart is in the witness protection program. I no longer know who they are and what their names are. Yesterday I was told that I no longer sleep in a master bedroom. I now sleep in a primary bedroom. Who decides this shit? Next I will be told that I have to change my name too. Maybe Su is too close to Fu. Kohl's has decided to turn against the police as has Staples. I wonder who they will now call for shoplifters? Social workers should have a bag packed at the door in case they are called out to talk down a man wielding a knife in those stores. Starbucks also turned against police but wanted them there after their store was fire bombed by the people they sided with. No coffee for you! I am leaving for work soon, or is it now spelled werk or wirk. I need to call Nancy and Chuck and ask. I will wait until after 9am, when Nancy has put on a new Depends and Chuck has screwed his glasses back into his nose.

Wildflower

I was listening to a song on the radio as I drove home yesterday. The song was Wildflower by Skylark. I have heard this song hundreds of times. One line says, "Sleep's the only freedom that she knows". As I lay my head on the pillow each night, I truly understand that lyric. My mind drifts off into another state of being and takes me away from the tasks that I need to do while awake. For a few hours each night I am free.

Back to Pack

 On the road again. Just like Willie Nelson sang, I am on the road again. I will be leaving for Brooklyn soon and it will either take me 40 minutes or 2 hours, depending on the road conditions. I have made this ride a few times a week for almost three years. In a few weeks I will have no reason to be on that road again. I will only need it to travel to a vacation destination and the way the world is now, those are few and far between. So, off I go, boxes in hand, to pack away more memories.

Day Off

 Today I have a day of rest. I am not working or packing up a house. While my body will be at rest, no one told my mind that it is off today. Even though I am not physically at my parents house, my mind is firmly seated at their kitchen table looking at what needs to be done next. I feel bad that today as I stay home, my sister is there straining herself packing. It is grueling work and doing it together feels better than her doing it without me, even with the assistance of her husband. This weekend we will both be there and for some reason it just feels right. My parents would want it that way.

Levels of Heaven

 There must be levels of heaven. Areas that are dedicated to people of their own ilk. I know a lot of people that would be placed in stupid people's heaven. These are good people that just had no judgement. They did not think before they did things and are partly responsible for their own death. For years they were told "I told you so" and "that's not a good idea" until there were no more "I told you so's" to be said. For an example: Don't ride a motorcycle without a helmet. If you fall you will break your head open. Don't take another selfie on a cliff or hanging out of a window. You will fall and kill yourself. How about the old standard, if you are doing electrical work, turn off the circuit breaker. The list goes on and on. I try to live my life thinking one step ahead of the game. That's how I was brought up.

Cleaning Up

 Yesterday my sister and I started the process of cleaning out our parent's house. It is something that everyone my age has to do at some point. No one lives forever, so their possessions need to be taken care of. You never realize how much there is in a house until you have to take it out. Things that I know they cherished are nothing more than what they are, to other people. A chair is a chair. A plate is a plate. Only the family knows that the chair was the one my father sat in every day and the plate was one that my mother loved and had to have. Boxes upon boxes and bags upon bags, that I can't take home and no one else wants. I am trying to donate as much as I can, but even that is not easy. You accumulate a lot living in the same home for 63 years.

My Namesake

This morning my sister and I will head to the cemetery to say a quick hello and then go to my parents house to start cleaning things out. We  both felt that we did not have enough time there when we were at the funeral. I am also going to take a picture of the "watching" stone, as I have named it. Although I go to the cemetery a few times a year and I do look at the stones, I never noticed one. As I was leaving the area after the funeral, my son pointed out a stone. The woman's first name was my first name. The husband's first name was my last name. There it saw, etched in stone. My name. Feet away from my parents, watching over them.

Eve Of Destruction

 Human nature repeats itself. 

The Eve of Destruction (1965) Barry McGuire

Yeah, my blood's so mad, feels like coagulatin'
I'm sittin' here, just contemplatin'
I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation
Handful of Senators don't pass legislation,
And marches alone can't bring integration
When human respect is disintegratin'
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin'
And you tell me over and over and over again my friend
Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction

 Think of all the hate there is in Red China
Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama!
Ah, you may leave here, for four days in space
But when you return, it's the same old place
The poundin' of the drums, the pride and disgrace
You can bury your dead, but don't leave a trace
Hate your next-door-neighbour, but don't forget to say grace
And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend
You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction
No no you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction

Think about those lyrics. We never learn. 

Day One

 Today is the first day that I am acknowledging that I have lost both of my parents. I do not know the role of not being a daughter. I have spent almost 65 years being a loyal and loving daughter to the best parents anyone could have. The last two years were spent caring for my father after my mother left us. All day every day, he was in my thoughts. I had set times to call him. I shopped for him. I nagged him about eating properly. I took care of his medical appointments and medications. By I, I really mean we. My sister did the other half of the responsibility. Together we were a power team. All he had to do was get up each day and stay healthy. At the end, he could not do that, and god was kind and peacefully took him painlessly. That was my wish for him. He is now with my mother and my sister and I are happy and sad.

Happy Birthday

 Today is my father's 97th birthday. I stayed up until midnight to see the clock turn 12:00am. He made it to 97. Happy birthday to the best dad in the world.

Holy Day

 Today is a Holy Day and a holiday. I am sitting here reflecting on life. The world is in a precarious place and I pray for it. I always try to make sense out of the way the universe handles things. Sometimes I can easily do that. Other times I need to stretch and delve into it's meaning. I will be visiting my father today and hope that it is a good day for him. Tomorrow is his birthday. I will visit him again to celebrate and sing. I am not looking any further than one day at a time.

In Five Minutes

Last night I was talking to my father. He was a bit confused about where he was. After 15 minutes of repeating that he was at home in his living room, he decided to take my word for it. I told him I would call him back in five minutes. I then called my sister to have her call him as maybe another voice would spark his mind into the present. She called and he seemed fine but then he told her that I was calling back in five minutes. While I wanted to hear his voice, I was afraid that I would trigger off another loop of the same conversation. Then I felt guilty. What if I did not call and he never woke up? I would have guilt forever. At 8:45pm I called and he was glad to hear from me. We had a pleasant short talk and said goodnight. I made the right decision to call again.

Heaven

 Is there a heaven? Are there angels? Do our loved ones watch over us? There will always be a debate on these questions. Some people will totally agree. Others will vehemently disagree. The rest will question. In the world of the living, there is no answer, only speculation. By the time we know the truth, we can no longer spread it. When people see their deceased family, we say they are imagining it. But are they? Maybe they are seeing what other people are not meant to see. It is solely for them. That does not mean that it is not real.

Holding Vs Moving

 Is it easier to hold on or move on? The other day, I was speaking to a receptionist at a doctor's office. I have no idea who she was and have even forgotten which office she works in. We were discussing elderly parents. The girl was probably in her 30's, so I assume she had experienced the loss of a grandparent. She said to me that it is much harder to hold on, than to move on. She was referring to a person's journey in life. I wrote down that sentence and told her that I would be using it again. It is harder to hold on. It is so hard to hold on.

Lethal Candy

 I just read an article this morning about how too much black licorice killed a man. He love licorice and ate it every day without realizing that certain acids in the licorice were killing him. The licorice increased his blood pressure and threw off his electrolytes. The candy contains licorice root and just two ounces a day can raise your blood pressure and cause a heart attack. Sometimes people are not aware the foods contain roots and herbs that can harm them if used in higher quantities.

Not Easy

 Some people think that things are easy, just because people make them look easy. I can see a marathon bicycle rider and think that is is easy to ride a bicycle. If I tried it, after 1 block, I would be exhausted. It is the same with a job. If you are doing it a long time, and doing it well, you make it look easy. People think that they can learn, in one week, what you have honed in 17 years. It is not realistic. Today I will begin to train a new girl on the basics of a receptionist's job. I am sure she will learn the easy part in a short time, but I explained to my boss, that having her work alone at night, after one week, will be a disaster. Time will tell.

Personality

 My parents were always liked by everyone. Until her last day, everyone who met my mother loved her. She was a genuinely nice person whose good nature shined through. My father was always Mr Personality. He still is. Yesterday, I had a nurse visit him. I made the appointment for 11am. She checked him and evaluated his medications. Then she sat and talked with him. I called to see how everything was. The nurse said he was fine and she wished she had made this her last appointment of the day, because she was having such a great time, she did not want to leave. She called him an anomaly.  People at his age do not usually hold a good conversation. She said he actually taught her a few things about the history of New York. That's my dad!

By Default

 Since the pandemic, I had to fire the receptionists that I had hired. By default, now that we are getting a bit busier, my boss has asked her research assistants to step in and work a few hours each. One has been working for a few weeks and the other will start today. The second one would not have been hired if I was doing the hiring. I find her totally annoying. There are some people that just grate on your nerves.

Opportunity

 There are three ways to use opportunity. You can give it. You can take it. You can ignore it. How you use opportunity will lead to how you live your life. Just for example, America gives opportunity to people who legally get a visa. They are welcomed into our country. Once they are here, they can take that opportunity and become a citizen. They can take more opportunity and get a job, open a business and buy property. They can even go further and have their voice heard in politics. Then there are people that ignore opportunity. They have the opportunity to go to school but don't use it well. They have the opportunity to get a job and work their way up but they don't use it well. They would rather cry and whine about what they don't have as other people use what they do have. Why do people that immigrate to the USA prosper while many that are born here stagnate?

The Ball

 I am not an athlete but lately I feel like I am in training. I seem to be picking up the ball when other people are passing it or dropping it. It is their ball. They need to deal with it. It keeps getting passed back to me. I am supposed to be a spectator not the main player. I play in my own game, in my own arena. They are paid to play in theirs. I am now on the phone, on hold, waiting to have the ball passed back to me.

Happy New Year

 Tonight begins the Jewish New Year. I wish it would begin the world's new year. I will be making a family dinner. I started my cooking yesterday and will continue through today. I am sad that my father cannot be with us but I will pack up a dinner for him and he can have it tomorrow night. I am just glad that he is still here with us.

Coincidence

 Is it coincidence or is it divine intervention? In my life, I am leaning towards divine intervention. I feel that cause and effect is life running it's course. If you do A then B will happen. Divine intervention has me stumped. Things that are linked together by none of our own doing, that make sense in the universe, must be done by a greater power than our own. If I ask for certain intangible things and they happen that day, due to no input from myself, why did they happen? If I have a heavy decision to make and the day I need to make it, the universe has made that choice for me, did a higher power than myself put it into place. I know that I sound confusing but in reality this is my clearest writing. It is because it is spiritual and many times spiritual cannot be put into words that make sense.

Day in the Park

 After work today, my sister and I will put our beach chairs in the car and drive to a beautiful park. We will open them up and sit there surrounded by trees and birds. The park is usually silent, so you can hear your own thoughts. We want to relax and spend time reminiscing about life. This beautiful park is named Beth David Cemetery. Yes, we are bringing beach chairs to a cemetery. Who says we can't? We want to have a peaceful visit with our mother. We do not want to just stand there, looking down at the grave. We want to be eye level with her headstone. That is how a normal visit is, face to face, equal footing. We will talk and laugh and cry. In the Spring we are planning a picnic there. Why does a cemetery visit need to be somber? In life, our relationship with our mother was always happy. Why should it be any different in death?

Routine

 I did one thing off my routine this morning and forgot to write. I have a million and one things on my mind so the million and 2nd thing kicked me over. Life is not always easy. 

TV Land

 I have decided to live in TV Land. Lately I have been taping old television shows from the 1960's. I watch them through 2020 eyes. My 2020 is for sharp vision in a year that no one wants to see again. When I watch the shows I focus on styles, decor, language and overall society. While we were lacking in certain modern technologies, we were rich with dignity. People waited for phone calls and dressed in suits and ties to go to a ballgame. Women wore hats and dresses, no jeans or sneakers. Doors were unlocked and people were courteous. That is the world I lived in and want to revisit through these shows. I would give up a computer and cell phone for a bit of human decency and kindness.

Three P's

 With everything that is happening in the world, "P" words are prominent. Protest. Privilege. Protect. Now that I look at it, protest and protect are only different by one letter, just like defund and defend are. One letter that separates negative behavior behavior from positive behavior. I understand protest and protect. It is the word privilege that baffles me. Most people reading this entry could be accused of being privileged but in order to label a person, you need to know the true definition. Here it is. Privilege: A special advantage, immunity, permission, right, or benefit granted to or enjoyed by an individual, class, or caste. Let's break it down.

Special advantage: I go to work every morning and I am 65 years old. I pay for my health insurance, taxes, both federal and state and fund the welfare system for those of us who do not work. 

Immunity: If I do a crime I pay for it. If I run a red light or speed, I have to send a check to the violations bureau. If I am caught doing any other crime, I will be arrested and bail will be set. 

Permission and right: As long as I follow the rules of the government, I have permission to do things and rights to do so also. If not, I will face the penalty.

Benefits granted: I have never seen any. I pay my way so I have possessions. I do not run into a store and benefit from broken windows. I never came home with a free television set that has shards of glass on the box. 

To review: I am not privileged. I am hard working. I came from immigrants that made a life for themselves through hard work and sweat. Do not bandy around words that do not define someone else.

For The Birds

  "For the birds" is an idiom describing something as useless, meaningless, or only believed by the gullible. As I sit here writing, I am hearing the birds outside my window chirp. I have heard them every day since I moved in. They are not the same birds, but they do the same thing. They chirp and sing and sometimes have a back and forth conversation. They must be smart birds, because they know how to find food on a daily basis and how to shelter themselves from all weather conditions. They go about their merry way from high above, looking down on a civilization that they must feel is "for the birds".

They Ran In

 Nineteen years ago, today, they ran in. Nineteen years ago today, they did not know whether or not they would all run out. Some ran out once and ran in again to save a stranger's life. Some never ran out the second time. They did that, as they still do, to save another before saving themselves. First responders are the most selfless people on earth. You call, they come. Shame on anyone that criticizes them. Unless you have walked in their shoes, you have no right to say anything negative. Nineteen years ago today, they fought the flames of foreign terrorism. Today they fight the flames of domestic terrorism, fueled by greedy politicians that want to recoup power. Any American that riots or sets a fire today, should be ousted from American soil. They should be sent to socialistic country and forced to see what reality is. For anyone that reads this blog or knows me, I am a proud American and a proud Republican. I do not condone riots. I do not condone looting. I do not condone ignorant people terrorizing the elderly. I do not condone thugs throwing bricks at law enforcement. I do not condone a female vice presidential candidate saying she is proud of a rapist, as his victim sits and cries. I do not condone sports figures, that make more money than most people put together, kneeling at the flag that allows them to make that kind of money. They cry oppression from their multi million dollar mansions. Michelle O and Oprah say they feel invisible. What a bunch of nonsense. They are a millionaire and a billionaire that worked their way up to that point, because they were in America. Invisible people cannot do that. So on this day of remembrance...."God bless America, Land that I love. Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with the light from above".

Singing

 Every year we get a few research assistants in my office. Some become one of the family and other's keep their distance. Yesterday we met a new one. She is a college student and seems pleasant. One of her tasks was to make copies. The copier is in the front office next to the receptionist. It is also next to the Alexa dot that plays our music. It took the girl over an hour to make the copies since there were a lot of papers. For the entire hour, she sang out loud with Alexa. I mean out loud, as if she was a back up singer. It was annoying and distracting. The receptionist and I were on phone calls and the "live background music" was playing at full force. If it was not her first day, we would have told her to pipe down. We did not tell her because she is not yet part of the family and we would have hurt her feelings. I do not know if she did not know how loud she was singing, did not care or did not know that she was distracting. Either way, she was oblivious.

Socialization

 Socialization is a basic human need. Like the song says, "People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world". After being separated for months, many schools returned to teach in person. The students of all ages were thrilled to see each other. My grandson returned to school yesterday and said he had the best day ever. He saw all of his friends, in a safe environment. They know that they have to abide by the rules in order to be allowed in the same room. The smile on his face said it all. He is seven years old and being with other seven year olds is important. At some point, people need to safely come out of hibernation. I never went in, as my job was never shut down and thankfully I am safe. I cannot imagine being  without other people, even at a safe distance, for months.

School's Back

 Today is the first day of school in my town. We all hope that things go smoothly and the schools stay open. It has been six months since the children have walked into a classroom to learn and socialize. No one knows how the new routine will work. I hope that within a few days the new normal just becomes normal and our children can get back to a regular routine.

Treason

 Treason is the crime of betraying one's country, especially by attempting to kill the sovereign or overthrow the government. Punishment for it can be harsh. In many countries, including the United States, it is death. What is considered treason and what is considered ignorant bad judgement? The New York Post has quoted Governor Andrew Cuomo as stating, "Trump better have an army to protect him if he comes to NYC". Is this a threat? Is he speaking for the people? Is this his personal vendetta? Or is this the talk of a man who requested, received and never used millions of dollars in Covid relief from the man he seems to be threatening? I will answer my own questions. Is it a threat? No. I think that it is a statement that a child would say if you did not want to give him candy. It is more like a tantrum. Is he speaking for the people? No. Most people want law and order. They do not want mayhem and that is what NYC has turned into. A 300% rise in crime is not good for anyone. Is it a personal vendetta? Yes. It is not only personal it is ungrateful. During Covid, Cuomo made a lot of demands upon the President. He wanted 40,000 ventilators and hundreds of hospital rooms. He swiftly received the USS Comfort and had the Javits Center built into a hospital. He never used any of the rooms, other than to shuffle people around a bit. He could have used them for the elderly to be safe, but he did not. He let the nursing home people spread the virus and die. Now, he is the one that is a crying, whining baby. Is he trying to show that he is a big man in New York? I think that he is an arrogant fool. He lamented for months about his mother's safety. What about the safety of his state? This is no time to disparage a sitting president. In any other country, he would already be behind bars.

Unsettling

 The link below is unsettling. Click it and you will see why. Scary. I have nothing more to say.

www.antifa.com

Keys

 We all have extra keys in a drawer. We put them there for safe keeping. Years later, we have no idea what they are for. This morning I found a key ring full of keys in my jewelry box. They were all different sizes and shapes. Normally keys come in a few standard templates. They no longer for any of my locks. I have no idea what they once opened. I did not throw them out as I was not 100% what they were used for.

In The Moment

 I live in the moment. I plan ahead but life leads me where I have to go in a split second. I need to have the ability to swivel in an instant. I am become quite adept at it.

Hourly Rate

 We are currently having our computer system updated. The last people to do it were my bosses family members and that was not the best choice. Through a google search, we found a local man to do the update. He is pleasant but moves slow. He reminds me of a lumbering bear. The updates should have taken a few hours. He is on his third day. The only problem is that he gets paid $110 an hour. The rate is not high for a computer tech, but at his low speed the rate will rapidly climb. We are up to $1000 and are still not done. A younger faster tech would have finished this project in 4 hours. I am glad it is not my money paying for this. I would have been pulling my hair out of my head by now.

Tired

 I woke up tired. I have to rephrase that. I never went to sleep. I tossed and turned all night. At the moment that I felt ready to doze off, my alarm went off. My mind stays up thinking and rethinking the days, months and years. I wish I had as much energy this morning as my mind had last night.

Plug

 If something is not working, the first line of repair should be the plug. Yesterday the computer monitor went blank. My husband asked me how to reboot the router. At that point I got up from the couch to asses the damage before it became a bigger problem. He said that he wanted to reboot the entire system to get the monitor back on. I ordered him to step away from the monitor. Hands up. Freeze. Thankfully he complied. I explained that the router had nothing to do with the monitor screen, if the computer was on. I put my hand on the back of the monitor and made sure each plug was tight. One was a bit loose. I pushed it in more and lo and behold, the monitor lit up. This could have turned into a catastrophe. We were one plug away from a disaster.

Pray On It

 People use the expression "I will pray on it". I am taking on that school of thought. It seems to be working. Whenever I have a problem that is too hard to scrutinize, I turn it over to a higher power. I say I will pray on it. To me that means setting it aside and letting the chips fall where they may and hopefully they fall in the direction that I want them to. The universe will weigh the pros and cons and come up with the solution. So far it is working beautifully.

Enjoying the Day

 I woke up to a magnificent morning. The weather can be described as one of the ten best days of the year. The sun is strong and the mild breeze is refreshing. It is picture perfect. My attitude reflects that. I will try my best to not let anything upset me. I will not read the news. I will not look at the internet. I will cover myself in a protective cocoon of happiness. By giving me such a visually perfect and comfortable day, it is like Mother Nature telling me that I need a day off from a world that has become frightening.

Purgatory

The Earth is in a state of Purgatory. It is not heaven nor is it hell. We are in turmoil and trying to fight our way through it. The fires of hell are started each night and when daylight comes the promise of heaven shines through the sky in the form of sunlight. There are two opposing forces at work, each one trying to pull the world to their side. The devil has many faces and sometimes the righteous face is the devil in disguise. We need to be careful and fully evaluate. Lord help us if we do not see clearly and think we are looking at heaven, only to find out that we have put ourselves into hell.

Storm

 Last night was like a light show. I have never seen so much lightening in such a short time. All I needed was music from the Electric Light Orchestra to make me feel like I was at a show. Lightening is natures wrath and beauty all mixed into one. Like anything else in the world, it is all how you look at it.

Sports

 Sports are fun but sports are also business. When the two mix to voice their views, that is when I question it. The NBA has decided to voice their opinion on a recent shooting. They are walking out for a day because a man who decided to not comply with a police request to stop and said he was going to his car to get his gun and went to the car, opened the door and reached down for an object, was shot. Would they have preferred the officers to be shot? Would they have walked out for them? Would they have walked out if an Orthodox Jew was killed by an angry mob? Of course not. They are making a political statement. These people, making millions of dollars a year to shuffle a ball around a court, are not thinking ahead. When a league becomes political, it alienates. When it alienates, it runs the risk of people not wanting to see it. If people don't come, salaries don't get paid. If a socialist party, that has aligned itself with a divisive movement  rules, salaries drop from millions of dollars a year to, "you now play for the country" salaries. We are becoming a "jump to conclusions" society. No one gets the facts. They react in the worst possible way. The NBA, NFL and MLB need to abide by the "separate church from state" mindset. Do your job and after work do your community work. Now that I am thinking of it, instead of walking out and looking like martyrs, take your money and rebuild the cities that were burned down by the other people who also did not get the full story.

War

This is the first generation that has not seen war, like the other generations have. In the early 1900's, there was World War I. Young men fought overseas, in horrible conditions, to assure that world freedom would remain. In the 1940's, my parent's generation fought in World War II. Young men fought overseas, in horrible conditions, to assure that world freedom would remain. In the 1950's, we fought in the Korean War. Young men fought overseas, in horrible conditions, to assure that world freedom would remain. In the late 1960's through 1970's we fought in Vietnam. Young men fought overseas, in horrible conditions, to assure that world freedom would remain. Year 2020. America is not at war. We have our freedom. Young men and women are burning down our country, making people lives turn into conditions that are horrible,  to assure that Socialism will be implemented. The Veterans of the previous wars would hang their heads in shame. They fought for us to remain free. This generation is the most spoiled and entitled that America has known. I guess if you do not have to go to war, you create your own war.

The Farmer

Years ago The Farmers Almanac was printed. It forecast weather a year in advance. All in all, it was pretty accurate. It told how the seasons would be and when major storms would occur. It also had a section like an encyclopedia with eclectic information. I do not know the methods that were used, but they seem more accurate than the ones we use today. Yesterday the Weather Channel predicted rain with random thunderstorms from 2pm to 5pm. My pool friends were calling each other to see who would come to the pool. Everyone arrived and the weather was spectacular. Not a cloud in the sky. With all of the modern technology being incorrect, the farmers had more accuracy in the 1800's.

Nothing is the Same

We all need to come to terms with life as we now know it. Nothing is the same and even when things ease up, nothing will ever be the same. This will effect 1.5 generations of people. Children 10 and under will not remember how life used to be. I know that work and shopping feel different but I was a bit surprised when I heard a friend tell me that going to temple was different. He is a daily worshipper and now praying has lost that special feeling. The camaraderie has changed. He used to pray and then have coffee with the other temple members. Now they pray and leave. The synagogue does not want to host a social gathering until they feel it is safe. They are still in the planning stages for the high holidays. The sense of community has been stripped from even religion. When it is safe, it will return but in a different way.

Half Empty or Half Full

 I read something in the news that boggled my mind. Can perspective be so skewed that we no longer see the truth. Is the glass half empty or half full? Can a woman be an activist who speaks at a national democratic convention or a cold blooded murderer? Below is the article from Fox news. There are many more articles of outrage, but I thought that only one was necessary. The emphasized words were done by Fox News, not me. The text is verbatim.

Donna Hylton was known as inmate #86G0206 for 27 years. She was behind bars for her role in the grisly murder and torture of Thomas Vigliarolo, a balding New York businessman found stuffed inside a steamer trunk and left to rot in Harlem. Hylton and six others let him die "in the most heinous circumstances," the prosecutor said at their trial in 1985. On Thursday, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) hailed Hylton as one of "America's most impactful community leaders" and asked her to participate in a video reading of the Preamble to the Constitution during a televised portion of the convention. Her appearance has left some people puzzled and others furious, wondering why the DNC would rally behind a woman who was involved in the brutal rape, torture and murder of a 62-year-old man.

In a Thursday night tweet, Hylton said she has been on the receiving end of social media threats since her appearance.

"Getting hate messages and very un-Christian attacks on @Twitter. Learned a valuable lesson years ago from my Pastor *Give Unto Ceasar (sic) that which is Cesar's* With that said, hope those filled w/hate find some peace. Stay focused #DemConvention," she wrote.

Her tweet prompted quick support from some followers but also opened up Hylton and the DNC to a tsunami of criticism.

Adnan Khan wrote: "F$&k these bots and the cowards who don't have a picture or use their real name. Look where you are! You clearly have more value than them. They should google me next. And the 10million+ of is [sic] out here after me. We could do this all day."

Rodney H. tweeted, "The vitriol I'm seeing directed at my friend and colleague from dense, white racists is infuriating. Please go find something better to do with your time than harass a Black woman doing libertion [sic] work."

Others sought to remind the public of her violent past.

One user wrote, "Did anyone notice listed under the DNC's "America's most impactful community leaders" was Donna Hylton? She's a classy 55-year-old woman convicted for the kidnapping, rape, torture and murder of a 62-year-old Long Island real estate broker in 1986."

Twitter user @Covidhomeschool weighed in: "You are the furthest thing from a Christian. Pretend all you want about loving Jesus. People who torture and murder do not go to heaven. There is no making up for what you did. Yet, you are monitizing [sic] off it! Just shows how you really are not sorry. Hell gates await you!"

Full/Empty? Activist/ Murderer? Right/Wrong? Up/Down? It's all perspective, my friend and perspective can be dangerous. 

Night Scheduler

 Sometimes at night, I make my schedule for the next day. By saying night, I mean while I am trying to fall asleep. Last night, I decided that this morning was going to be a cooking morning. By 7am, I had my hot wings and muffins in the oven. In another hour or so the banana chips will follow. I do not usually cook a lot in the summer, but decided that if I do it early with the air conditioner blasting, it would not heat up the house. The smells are wonderful. I feel like eating hot wings for breakfast.

Out of Sight

 When it comes time to clean out my basement, I will use the out of site theory. If I have not seen the item in years and have no idea what is in the closet, it will all be tossed away. I do not even want to look at it or evaluate it. I am at a time in my life when I have to let go of things that I have held onto. If they made their way from the main floor to a closet in the basement and have not been brought up for over thirty years, they are non essential things. What I do not see, will not upset me.

Driving Course

 Defensive driving courses are important to take. Why wouldn't someone want a discount on their insurance? I used to take them in person but then three years ago, the course and my schedule did not sync. I went online and found the best course. It is given by the comedy group "The Improv". It is a combination of comedy routines, cartoons and text. You do need to spend the six hours doing it but have 30 days to do so . I am almost done with mine and then will be in good standing for three more years. 

Mixed Message

 This morning I got up and as usual checked the weather. I wanted to see if it was going to be a pool day. After looking at my weather app, I still do not know. The hourly report had a cloud and a lightening bolt for each hour until 4pm. Then I looked at the written forecast. It said that today would be sunny all day. Which information is correct? They are both from the same app. Did the person doing the hourly report consult the person doing the written report? Yet another example of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.

Still Water

 Still waters run deep. I am the still water. If you throw a rock at me, the ripple effect can pull you under. Still waters are deceiving. They look so calm and inviting, and they are, if you gently wade in. They will embrace you with their nurturing waves. You can even splash in them and they will respond wonderfully knowing that the splashing is in fun. But don't throw a rock in anger. That is when it becomes dangerous.

Parallels

 

History repeats itself. We need to keep our eyes open to see and understand it. The upsetting part is that people do no see the parallels. Almost scary.

One violent incident becomes the focus of a political movement.

The incident is used as the excuse to set off political plans that waited in bay until a conduit appeared.

The political party needed to be changed and the way to do it was through intimidation. 

The party needed ultimate control.

Unrest began.

Stores had their glass broken.

Inventory was looted.

Buildings were burnt down.

Bands of rioters flooded the streets.

Homes and neighborhoods were violated. 

The government turned its head and allowed the unrest to gain momentum. 

Peoples lives were destroyed. 

Good people were told to agree or have themselves harmed. 

Statues were toppled.  

Individuals lost their rights.

Quiz:

When did this happen?

A- May 2020 prior to the November election ( )

B- Kristallnacht  November 1938 Prior to the Holocaust ( )

Answer: Both A and B

 

 

Error Code

 Nothing feels worse than the moment you see a red error code flashing on a machine. You do not know what to do. Since product manuals are now pdf files on a computer, you can no longer flip to page 122 and see what to do. Yesterday my father's aide called me and was a bit upset. She was doing the laundry and midway through, the machine LED read "CD". This was the first time she had used the washing machine as it is a bit complicated to run. It is a washing machine and dryer all in one unit, like a dishwasher would be. It has many dials and settings and no one other than my father has ever used it. We told him that he needed to teach other people to make things easier. His aide set the machine according to the instructions that we gave her. When she went back to check it an hour later the dreaded "CD' was on the display. She called me to see what to do. I had no idea. My friends at the pool all got out their cell phones and googled the model of the washer. It seems that "CD" stands for "cool down" and it was not an error code. It was just letting you know that the machine was in it's final cool down stage before the wash was completed. I called the aide to let her know. She was so relieved.

Two Types of Information

 There are two types of information that the population is given. One is new and the other is political opinion. To me, Fox is a news channel while CNN is an opinion channel.If Fox sees a dog running into the street the headline will read, "Dog Runs Into the Street". The article that follows will be about a dog that ran out into the street without looking and was hit by a car and killed. CNN would have the headline, "Poor dog from a family that does not make enough salary and had no morning snack ran into the street most likely to avoid the oppression and embarrassment of the other animals on his street. Why was this dog not given food by his block? Neighbors of the block are now being part of an investigation as to why they had more food that the other dog and did not share it prior to the dogs untimely horrific death. A news article does not have to become a fiction essay. When every tidbit of life is scrutinized, lies, conjecture and falsehoods cloud the reality of the story. Now the political nastiness comes out. Trump has withstood this for years and never broke down. Two new internet slogans are aimed at the Democrats. 2020/Pee Pads and Knee Pads, and 2020 Joe and Hoe. Lets see who gets fired for those free speech statements.

Innocent Ignorance

 At one time or another, we have all been guilty of innocent ignorance. We have done something seemingly incorrect to another person or group of people but we did not know it was incorrect until it was pointed out to us. Then we acknowledge it, change it and move on. If you punish someone for innocent ignorance before you allow them to change the situation, your actions are worse than theirs. Sometimes, words, thoughts and actions are formed from the environment we are brought up in. They become our normal and normal never seems wrong. People that live in the jungle eat grubs. They are high protein, taste good and are one of the regular forms of sustenance. If they came to New York with a bagful of grubs and ate them at the theater, the people sitting next to them would be nauseated and horrified. In New York, grubs are insects that need to be poisoned and killed. We would judge the grub eater for eating them and the grub eater would not understand why we would kill viable nutrition. Both parties would be correct in their own thinking but guilty of innocent ignorance about the other person. If each side jumped on the other to beat or maim them before they understood why the action was being done, they would be wrong. If they civilly discussed the pros and cons and understood why the actions are being taken, the problem could be fixed peacefully. What is so hard to understand about people getting along?