Clock Watcher

I have become a clock watcher. Not during the day but during the night. I go to sleep when I get tired but after only 5 hours I awaken. I guess my body has had enough sleep. The fact is that I awaken at about 4am and since I am not a night worker, I don't start my day. I look at the clock and try to go back to sleep. After what seems like a few hours, I open my eyes and look again only to find that 2 minutes has passed. I do this for the next two hours until I get up for the day. By that time I am exhausted. Clock watching is a hard job.

Confusing Address

Yesterday my husband decided to go to the cemetery to visit his family. He found papers with their "address" so we did not think they would be hard to locate.We got to the cemetery, found the right street and then the fun began. The papers said the section and row, but there were no markings that stated any sections or rows. The hunt was on. We walked up and down each row through weeds. I was actually calling out their names as if they would speak to me. Finally, we found them. Anna and Willy. We talked for a while and I filled them in on the family. We placed rocks on the stone. While other stones had many rocks, Anna and Willy's had none. I do not think anyone had been there in a while. I had not been there since the funeral 34 years ago. Then my husband wanted to visit his uncle and aunt in a nearby cemetery. The second hunt began. It was just like the first. No clear sections and no clear rows. I was not too invested in finding these people as I had a bone to pick with them. When we found them, I gave them a piece of my mind. Dead or not, they needed to know. They also had no rocks on their stones which showed that none of their "beloved" family has gone to see them. The person that finally did go to see them was the one that was disrespected at the funeral. Ironic and sad.

Carnival

Last night after dinner, we took my grandson to a carnival. He had been to one before so he knew what it was about. All during dinner he talked about the kiddie rides and said that he was too little for the big rides. When we arrived at the carnival, we asked him which rides he wanted to go on. He pointed to the ferris wheel. We said that was too big for him. Then he pointed to a large slide that was 50 feet in the air. We said that was too big for him. He then pointed to the swing ride. Again, that was too big for him. At that point he knew that he was limited to the kiddie rides. He started off on the fire truck. As the ride started my son began talking to the ride attendant. He told us that he was from Texas and had been making $21 an hour on the oil fields, but then the layoffs came so he took a job with the carnival for $9 an hour. He said that the traveling was fun as he gets to see the country. He liked Manhattan but felt bad seeing so many "hobo's". Since no other child was on the ride and we had bonded with the attendant, he let him ride for as long as he wanted. After 10 minutes we moved to another ride. We put him on 8 rides. He rode the carousel horse for the first time because Grandma stood next to him. He had always been afraid to ride the horse. I do not know who had more fun last night, him or me.

Senior Math

I am truly blessed. I have two 92 year old parents. They are still functioning very well on their own. They are independent and have all of their senses. As they age, I find that I am doing senior math. Everything needs to be repeated twice. The first time they tell me that I mumble. The second time when I scream, they hear me. The math equation for phone calls is: four calls on three phones to two people equals no one answering. I know they are okay, but I would still like them to answer on at least the seventeenth ring. I remind them three times to do something and they tell me that I need to relax. I hope I am doing senior math for another twenty years.

What Were You Thinking?

I got a call from my office last night. A patient had called in for their telephone therapy session. For some reason it was not on the doctor's schedule as it had been a last minute change. This rarely happens. The doctor was in the office and had the time slot open but said she could not accommodate the patient. That is when I got the call. I asked the front staff why the doctor could not take the call. They said that she was exercising on the stairwell as she does each night. Really? Choosing exercise over a patient? If I was there I would have been in the stairwell pulling the doctor off of the steps by her hair and dragging her into the office to do her job. This doctor is a genius, an author and a very talented woman but she sometimes lacks common sense. I asked to speak to the administrator who was still in work. I told her to go to the stairwell and make the doctor come inside. I told her to give the doctor 2 choices. Come in now and call the patient, apologize and start the session or stay outside and the next session is a free one. She chose to come inside.

Subtle Announcement

Most newer cars have speaker phone or bluetooth. The call immediately connects to the radio. This has created a new phone etiquette. When someone is riding with you, the person who called you needs to know. That way embarrassing situations can be avoided. This is where the subtle announcement comes in. The phone rings. You say hello. They say hello. Then in a cheery voice you say, "Mr. Jones is in the car with me!". We all know that by saying that, the caller is forewarned not to say anything stupid. Stupidity is for private conversations.

Peer Pressure

No matter how old you are or in what profession there will always be peer pressure. A few of my doctors are taking a certification course this week. There are about 80 other doctors from the New York area taking it with them. Mid day yesterday my director called me to say that other people were telling her that they bill the insurance companies for their unlicensed doctors and are being paid. I said that we cannot do that as unlicensed doctors are not billable. She said that everyone was arguing with her that she is wrong. After we finished the conversation I called the New York State Educational Licensing Department and asked them that question. They said in no uncertain terms that it is illegal to bill for non licensed providers and anyone who is doing that is putting their own license in jeopardy. I knew I was correct but my director's peer pressure made me make the call. She now can go back and tell her "friends" that she was right and if they disagree they can call the state.

The Right Tools

If you have the know how and the right tools, there is nothing you cannot do. My son has always believed in buying good tools. He feels that if you have them on hand, any project is easy. I saw this yesterday. My car needed new front brakes. The auto mechanic said it would cost me $260 for brakes and rotors. I never knew what a rotor was but it always sounded daunting when they would say, "We need to grind the rotors or they will have to be replaced". My son ordered my brakes and rotors from online and it cost $49. I went to his house yesterday and he had all of his tools lined up. Every wrench, gauge, spray, brush and lift. He proceeded to replace my brakes and rotors in a careful methodical way. The entire job took him less than one hour, including a break for us to talk. I was very impressed.

Different Views

What you see online, I might not see. Sometimes when I am at work my receptionist is on the internet and sees an interesting article. She tells me to go to the Yahoo home page. I get onto that page, but what is on her home page is not on mine. If I close out and open the page again, it is still not there. Many times if we are buying a gift for an office worker we are on the same store site, but her "sale" price is not the one I have. The internet has learned to silently read our preferences and skews our information. To me, this is propaganda. I am only getting the information the internet thinks is necessary.

Too Many Pies

Last night we went for pizza. We ordered two pies. One was a sausage pizza and one was a chicken pizza. When the food arrived, the chicken pie had no chicken on it. We called over the waitress and asked her to bring the chicken so we could throw it on the pie. She said she could not do that. She would have to order a new one for us. We could take home the chicken free pie as a gift. We ate the sausage pie and then the new one arrived. When we were done we had one whole pie and 2 extra slices left. The waitress then brought us over a dozen rolls to go. We walked out smiling.

Picture Perfect

I am not a good picture taker. Never rely on me to chronicle an important event. You will surely be disappointed. The pictures will be blurry, shaky and just bad. Some people have a steady hand and a good eye. I am not one of those people. Once at a family party I was given the chore of recording the birthday cake cutting. I thought the recorder was on. It wasn't. I still feel bad about that one. I actually redid the scene with stuffed animals in place of the people. While it got a good laugh, it was not the same.

Good Reader

If you read to a child from an early age, they will have the love of reading. My grandchildren have been read to from day one. When I babysit my grandson, part of the evening is spent reading. He is at the point where he has memorized the words to books so he can "read" to me. Last night I read him a few books. When we were done, he looked at me as said, "Grandma, you are a good reader". I couldn't think of any better compliment.

Same Color

For the past few years I have been coloring my own hair. I do it for convenience. I do not want to sit in the beauty parlor any longer than it takes to cut my hair. No matter what brand or color I choose, it always comes out the same. Some brands have number color coding. I have used numbers 8, 8N, 9, 9N and this time I used 9 1/4N. It looks the same. I have used blond, light ash blond, light natural blond, light golden blond and just plain old light blond. It looks the same. I am not sure if this happens with the other color shades like brown or red. The companies should just limit to three choices. Vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

New Path

My office is embarking on a new path. After many years of being at a standstill due to one of the owners being ill, we are on the road again. While we remained stuck other practices moved forward. We lost our edge. The time has come to get on the road again. Originally we set the standard and we plan on doing that again. We are sending our doctors to be trained in another type of therapy. That will make us the only psychology private practice on Long Island to have various integrated treatments. We are creating new print ads.We are revamping what use to be, into what will be.

Passing It On

This weekend my husband went to tag sales. He needed nothing, but I knew he would not come home empty handed. He saw a 1960's or 70's transistor radio and had to have it. When my parents were cleaning out their house they threw away a better one. Somehow the better one was called "junk". He saw the radio and asked if it worked. The seller said he did not know. My husband bought it anyway. You guessed it. It was broken. He said, "It was only" $5. I said it was $5 too much. Feeling a bit guilty, he decided to sell it on eBay. He listed it as "Broken, does not play". You need to be totally honest when you sell on eBay. He listed it Sunday at 5pm. By 6pm, it was sold to someone who had almost the same name as him but lived in Minnesota. Was it dumb or dumber or did lightening strike twice?

Blue Jeans

The other day I was emailed a picture of my new granddaughter. She was less than a week old. She was wearing blue jeans. I found that funny. A tiny little girl dressed in jeans and a polo. Back when I was a baby we only wore dresses. Then in the 70's we started to dress the girls in a more comfortable way. When my older son was in a playgroup, all of the girls wore pants. In those days leggings were the big thing. I remember one of the little girls coming to playgroup in a fancy crinoline dress. It was green with puffy sleeves and had ribbons on it. Bear in mind that this was over thirty years ago and I still have that vivid memory because she looked out of place. She looked so old fashioned. Styles have changed and at one week old,  my granddaughter has a better wardrobe than I do.

In My Space

There is a concept of personal space. Most people adhere to it. Some do not. We all know of the close talkers. People that come five inches from your face. Too close for comfort. I wonder why they have to be on top of you. Don't they feel how close they are? The close talkers are bad enough but what about the close drivers? The kind that look like they are attached to your trunk. They are so close that you cannot see them in your sideview mirrors. Most of us either drive slower to get them to go around us or just move out of the lane. I sometimes try to imagine that I am driving that close to the car ahead of me. I think that I would feel scared that they would brake quickly and I would crash into them. The expression "arms length" makes so much sense.

Exfoliating

I never exfoliated my skin. I am not a person that goes overboard with skin care. That was until I started to make my own products. I make skin moisturizers, lipsticks, lip balm, body splash and now exfoliants. I sit in my "apothecary" which my husband calls "the meth lab" and test all types of natural ingredients. Yesterday I came up with two exfoliating creams. A brown sugar one for the face and a white sugar green tea one for the body. I used the brown sugar facial one last night. It was amazing. I woke up this morning with the softest skin. I had no idea that exfoliating could do that. My face feels like a twenty year old's. Too bad it is attached to a sixty year old.

The Rinse

Every family has expressions that they think are their own. Certain words that they think only they know. The other day the word "rinse" came up. That word was used to differentiate a regular shower from a quick shower. Two women were talking about how long it takes for their husbands to get ready to go out. Each husband uses that term and the wives found that funny. They felt that the "rinse" and the shower took the same amount of time, water and soap. Their husbands feel there is a big difference. Maybe it is a Queens expression.

Computer Pressure

Computers are directly related to blood pressure. I have rebooted my computer three times this morning and each time it freezes I feel my pressure rising. Nothing is more infuriating than seeing a pop up window saying that there is an error in the system. Then the cursor freezes and a beep goes off. I want to yell at someone to release the tension but no one is up yet. I restart it and pace the floor until I can try to go online again. It took three tries and now I am off schedule for work. I think I need to meditate to relax and get myself back to normal.

San Francisco

I write this blog every day and usually do not pay much attention to my statistics. I have a side bar called Feedjit on the blog that shows where the people that read the blog are from. I know the locations of my friends and family, so when I see a new location I take a second look. Many times the new people have key worded "Smart vs. Bright" and this blog shows up as an option. There is one location that I am curious about, San Francisco. I have seen this location come up a few times a day. Sometimes it came up every hour. I wondered if it was a real person or a robot device. After years of seeing San Francisco, they have disappeared. Gone. Now I am worried. Has San Francisco been in an accident? Have they passed away? I will never have any way of finding this out and I feel bad about that.

More Firsts

I am back home in the same routine again. I feel like I was gone for a while even though it was only three days. With each new grandchild comes a new set of firsts. They are still as exciting as when my other two grandchildren did them. Yesterday was the first bath. There is now instant gratification as the picture of the baby wrapped in a hoodie towel was texted to me immediately. Years ago if a grandparent was out of state, a picture was taken, sent away for developing,  then resent to the family. It was at least two weeks in the making. Now it is two minutes. It makes me feel like I am involved in their lives and kept in the real time loop.

Empty the Tanks

When we drive to New England we always make a pit stop in Mystic Connecticut. Standing on side of the parkway on Saturday was a group of demonstrators holding signs that said "Empty The Tanks". They were protesting the Aquarium and the belief that fish and other aquatic animals should be free. The protesters believe that every living thing needs freedom. Standing in the group of protesters was a man with his dog on a leash. I wanted to yell out of the window that he should unleash his dog. It is a mixed signal to say free the fish while you are tethering a dog to you. Somehow that diminished the meaning of his protest.

Complete Day

Today is the best Mother's Day. It includes a beautiful new baby. She comes home this morning and her first family gathering will be this afternoon. I have two ends of the spectrum to celebrate. My mother is 92 and my granddaughter is 2 days old. I will go to Babies R Us this morning to buy some extras for the baby. Everyone back in New York will be celebrating at my sister's house. I feel happy and at peace. Everyone is where they should be.

First Meeting

This morning we are on our way to meet our little princess. She looks just like her big sister. It is surreal to have another granddaughter. Now that she is actually here, a whole new dynamic is taking place. My first granddaughter is now my older one. My grandson is now the middle one. They seem so old. When I brought home my younger son after he was born, I noticed his hands. I thought his older brother had small hands until the baby arrived. All of a sudden the hands that seemed small seemed huge. There was now a comparison. There would be a comparison forever. Who walked first. Who talked first. Every milestone had a predecessor. Even so, each child is one of a kind.

She's A Girl

At 6:19am my granddaughter was born. She arrived eight days early. She is a lucky girl to be born into a family that already loves her more than she can imagine, She is 8lbs 4oz and has light brownish hair. She has a wonderful sister that she will meet this afternoon. I will be going to New England tomorrow morning to hug and kiss her. My parents now have five great grandchildren, two boys and three girls. I am blessed.

Cinco de Mayo

Today is Cinco de Mayo, a day of celebration. Today is also the day that my parents return to New York after the winter season in Florida. I will be tracking the flight from work and then my sister and I will be picking them up at the airport. I am glad they will be home for a few months. It is hard not to see them as often when they are away. Now I can visit them on a weekly basis. Things are right on track now.

The Dentist

My granddaughter had her first visit to the dentist this week. My son sent me a picture of her sitting in the chair holding on to her Margaret doll. She sat like a little lady while her teeth were cleaned. She told me that Margaret also had her teeth cleaned. In the picture, the dentist was wearing a surgical mask and blue surgical gloves. This is the standard of this generation. I showed my husband the picture. He said that he has vivid memories of his dentist when he was a child. He remembers the smell of cigar smoke. As he sat in the chair, the dentist smoked a cigar. The smoke blew into the patient's face. That is what they did in those days. There was no sterile standard. No gloves, no masks, no HIPAA and no Novocaine. When they drilled, you writhed in pain and when it got to be too much you raised your hand for the dentist to stop. Our hand was the Novocaine. My dentist liked to tell jokes. If you told him that your gums bled in the morning when you brushed your teeth after you woke up, he told you to get a night job. Medicine at its best.

The Break Up

Yesterday I received mail from Citi Bank. It was from my credit card. Number 1375 was breaking up with me. It said we were no longer a good fit. I just think it was sour grapes. Good old 1375 was not meeting my needs anymore so I never went out with him. Since 4128 came along things were easier. 1375 was more demanding even though he had "interest". 4128 was more easy going. He had no "interest" but showed me love. If 1375 wanted me back, he had a year to woo me. He never did. He just hung in the background stewing in his own juices. Finally he got up the nerve and ended it. I am sure he will be back, just with another number.

May

It's May! The school vacation is over and now the teachers begin their countdown until the last day of school. There are no other jobs that have a yearly countdown. We just go to work each day on a never ending countdown. I get ten vacation days a year and six personal days. That's it. No ten weeks of summer. No Christmas, President's week or Easter week off. I never complain. We all know what our jobs entail when we apply for them so when my friends complain that it is hard working with children I am a bit confused. Did they think they were in the fashion industry? School means children. Maybe no one ever taught them that.

The Last Lobster

Last year we went to a Portuguese restaurant for our anniversary. When they gave us the menu choices for the day's specials they said that there was only one lobster left. My husband was really in the mood for a lobster so I told him to have it. I ate shrimp. We always joke about that. Last night for our anniversary we went back to the same restaurant. As we sat down we told the waiter about last year's problem and he laughed. He said that again they only had one lobster left for the night. To keep with tradition (and filtering in the fact that my husband is a big baby) I told my husband to have it. I ate shrimp. Next year we will call a day in advance to make sure they go fishing.