Happy Halloween

Today is Halloween. It is mainly a children's celebration. Candy and costumes everywhere. Some people are very creative while others dress up in the standard costumes. Some costumes are phasing out due to the politically correct atmosphere that has arisen. Old favorites, like fashion, are reappearing. In the 90's there were the Ninja Turtles. The disappeared for almost twenty years and have reemerged. I am sure I will see a few cats, cowboys, hobos and clowns. I could make a joke that the clowns are the people I work with, but I won't, (or have I already done so).

PJ Day

Yesterday was PJ day. I was supposed to visit my parents but the weather report was for rain and high winds so I decided to stay at home. I remained in my sweatsuit all day and after I did some small chores, I did nothing. I realized that I am not the type of person who can sit around all day doing nothing. The day seemed so long and I did a lot of pacing around. I guess I need to keep moving to be happy.

Sew Resourceful

Yesterday I went through my closet and saw a leather jacket that I had not worn since last season. I went to put it on and noticed that one button was very loose, almost hanging. It needed to be sewn back before I wore the jacket. I got my sewing kit and realized that I needed to thread a needle. Since my cataract surgery, I have monovision. I can see far with my right eye and near with my left eye. That way when the eyes combine I do not need reading glasses. The only downside is that for very close work, I cannot see. I can't use reading glasses as one eye is already a reading vision eye. I tried and tried to thread the needle but it was impossible. I saw a needle already threaded but it had white thread and it was a black coat. In my desperation to sew the button, I decided to use the white thread. After it was sewn, I took a black marker and colored in the white thread. It looks great.

Powerful F

Out of all the letters in the alphabet, I think that the "F" is the most powerful. It is the first letter for Fame, Fortune, Freedom, Faith and even Failure. There is one word that it starts with, that makes a difference to the other three letters that follow it. Why can we say luck, duck, puck, suck, muck, buck or tuck and no one flinches? They are all acceptable. Plain old non confrontational words. When we put the "F" before those three other innocent letters, there is trouble. Who gave the "F" so much power that by placing it in front of "uck" , you can be reprimanded, assaulted or thrown out of places?

What If

I live in a world of "what". The first is "what if" and the other is "what will". It is a problem/solution world. What if something happens? What will I do? Some days when I read the articles on the internet, I realize that many people will never join me in that club. I read about people doing things that I think are ridiculous and when a problem arises they are shocked. This morning I read about two women who were stranded at sea for four months when the motor of their sailboat stopped working. It was bad enough that there were two women but they also had two dogs. They survived because they had a lot of food, so that was good thinking. The first thought that popped into my head was where did the dogs go to the bathroom?

Add On

There is a sneaky option on the internet called an "Add On". I know better than to accept them. My husband does not. A few days ago, I was on the internet when I noticed that there was a new browser bar. I think it was called My Manuals. Every time I opened a new web page, it defaulted to this new home page. It infuriates me when I see this as I am the one who has to fix it. My husband had no idea how it got there, but did admit to searching the web to find a manual for his leaf blower. Now I had to change internet options and search options. I had to make sure that this taskbar was not hiding in any other places. All I wanted to do was quickly check my email and it turned into a half hour of diagnostics.

Everyone and No One

Everyone knew it. No one said anything. Over the past few weeks we are seeing news articles about harassment. If everyone knew, why didn't anyone speak? That is a question that will haunt society forever. It shows human nature at its worst. To see and not say. It is a self protective defense mechanism. Seeing it does not hurt you. Talking about it might. We allow others to get hurt, hoping we will not. I can't say it is right or wrong because the decision to speak up is an emotional one. Emotions are not always rational. That is why they are emotions. Eventually there is one person strong enough to speak. That is when other people will say, "Me too". The "I saw it" person can speak up with their head held high. The "me too" person has their head bowed a bit because they allowed other "me too's" to be hurt. There is no right or wrong. Humans are just wired this way.

Machine Malfunction

When I walked into work yesterday, my bookkeeper was in a rage. She has been trying to settle the checkbook for a week and nothing matched. Finally she realized that the credit card deposits were off. Immediately she began to rant that the new doctor went to the bank and closed the account. I told her to stop yelling and take a moment to think calmly. There was no way that the new doctor could have closed her credit card merchant account. She does not know the account number and the only way to do that is through me. After settling her down, I made a phone call and found out what happened. The answer was quite unsettling. It seems that our credit card machine had a malfunction and for one month was depositing the new doctor's money into another doctor's bank account. Thankfully it was one of our doctors. The bank has no idea why this happened and now the question is bumped up to a senior bank analyst. Just the fact that this could even happen makes me worry. Nothing is really secure anymore.

Warmer Than Usual Autumn Lasting Through September and October

This Autumn has been warmer than usual. We used to refer to it as Indian Summer. Now, with everyone watching every word, that is a politically incorrect term. People used to joke about Big Brother watching us. It has come true. Every word or phrase needs to be monitored. Depending on your view, anything can be turned around and used against you. So if I want to get across a thought that could have been said in two words, I will need to say nine.

Sleepover Sunday

It is so nice that my grandson is old enough to have a sleepover and it is minimal effort on my part. His parents have taught him well. He has manners and common sense. He says please and thank you for everything I do for him. He clears the table after he eats, makes his own bed and cleans up after himself. He reminds me of his father at this age. He was a little man at four years old. Thinking like an older child and using big words. This morning he told me that he was "frustrated" with one of his toys that was not working correctly. I have him until the mid afternoon and I will love every second of the day.

Little Buddy

This weekend I will be with my little buddy, my grandson. I will go to his kickball game and then take him home with me until tomorrow afternoon. We have the day planned. We will go to his favorite stores and buy him whatever he wants. We will go out to dinner, probably pizza. He will sleep in his father's old bedroom and in the morning have breakfast. Knowing him, he will chatter all day. He is a non stop conversationalist and everything he says is relevant. He is so easy to be with and it is a pleasure to pal around with him. The only thing that could possible be better, would be to have my granddaughters with us.

Brain Action

I just read an article on the web that says that after you die your brain is still working for a short time and can formulate thoughts. Really? Now I am upset. Who needs my brain to keep working? I have spent my entire life thinking and worrying 24/7. I was hoping that death meant an immediate brain tune out. At peace. At rest. Finito. Now I have to look forward to still thinking even after I die. Thanks a lot.

Senior Jeopardy

As we age, certain sensory functions change. We do not see as well, hear as well or walk as well. The seeing and walking affect the person who feels them. The hearing effects everyone else. It starts with the person telling everyone that they are mumbling. Then it turns into the "what" stage where every sentence that is spoken to them is answered with the word, "what?". When things get to a worse condition I call it Senior Jeopardy. In the game of Jeopardy, every answer has a question. In Senior Jeopardy, every question has a wrong answer. The question, "What do you want to eat" is answered with "My feet feel fine".

The Sandwich

My family dynamic has become a sandwich. I have a slice of bread on one side called parents. I have a slice of bread on the other side called children. I am the meat stuck in the middle being compressed and pulled apart. Macerated. The problem with the sandwich is that one slice of bread cannot see how the other side is doing because they are on opposite sides. The meat is in contact with both sides so it knows the situation. The meat sees what the bread cannot and it is hard to explain.

Off Duty

After many years of being a manager 24/7, I have decided to be the manager only during my working hours. Once I leave work, I am off duty. I have even gone as far as changing my ringtone to a specific one for my office and staff so that when they call me after hours, I will not even have to look at my phone. I will just ignore it. Lately I have been getting nonsense calls from my staff. If they don't find a box of paper clips, they call to ask where else they can look. If the heat is too high, they call to see if they can lower it. It is getting to the point where I want to hire a bunch of six year olds. A few weeks ago my boss called to say that she just got a speeding ticket and asked what she should do. I said, "Pay it". I am now separating work life from personal life and I will not turn back.

Pumpkin Patch

Yesterday was our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. We go with my daughter in law's family and pick a new patch every year. This year we went to Brightwaters Farms. It offered many events. There were unlimited hayrides, face painting, magic shows, farm animals, pony rides and other small circus type games. There was a concession stand and a farm store with fresh baked goods. I would give it five stars except for one major problem. They served beer. We got there at 11:30am and for some reason, even with NY state alcohol laws, the beer was flowing. The majority of young mothers and fathers had a 16oz beer in their hand. It was disturbing to me on a few levels. First, who drinks beer at 11am? Next, if two parents are drinking a large glass of beer, who is the designated driver? Thirdly, no one was monitoring how many beers people drank, like a bartender does, so people could drink the entire time they were there. Why was it necessary to include alcohol in what is otherwise a family setting? Was it to make a larger profit? That is the only reason I could think of.

Enlightened

We have all had a defining moment in our lives when we have become enlightened. It is when the ability to understand has awakened our souls and we are open to change. It is the moment where what was, no longer is. It is a time when we can push old feelings aside and make room for new ones. It is freedom from ourselves. Sometimes it has been in the works for a long time and other times it just appears as if there was a divine intervention. It is a surprise to ourselves. That is the strongest enlightenment. Once we are enlightened we are at peace.

My Parent's Friends

When I think of someone being seventy five years old, I think of them as being my parent's friends. After all, aren't I still a kid? I think like I am in my thirties and in my mind have not aged at all. This afternoon I am going to a surprise party for a woman I originally met at my son's nursery school. Her son was one year older than mine but all of the mothers knew each other from pick up and drop off time. The celebration is for her 75th birthday. I cannot fathom that I have a friend who is turning 75. While I am 14 years younger than her, she is in my circle of friends. I am looking forward to celebrating with my friends this afternoon.

What I See

My sister in law's father had an expression, "What you see, they see". I am not sure if I have the quote exactly correct, but the meaning is there. After spending months trying to open my bosses eyes about what was happening with the new girl she was forced to hire, I finally gave up, sat back, and decided to let the scenario play itself out. Finally, what I saw, she now sees. While the girl is nice and very competent, she lacks focus and attention to detail. She was responsible for a government application that I normally fill out. She did it and when the confirmation did not show up, I questioned it. She seemed a bit defensive about being asked about the status. I let it go, emailed my boss that I was not responsible if the deadline was missed and went about my regular business. A week later when the confirmation still had not shown up, my boss asked me to make a call and track it. It seems that the application was not completely filled out and never submitted online. Pandora's box has now been opened for all the world to see. I will mop up the mess, because that is what I do, but now the girl will now know to never have an attitude with me again.

Jenga

What is going on in Hollywood is like a game of Jenga. One person pulled out one piece of the structure and it quickly became unstable. Another piece was pulled and another and soon the structure fell to the ground. It has become a show that many people are watching. Once powerful people no longer have any value. Friends and family are running from them. It just goes to show that our perception of life is not always true. I do believe in the concept of fake news. We are told things third hand and expected to believe them at face value. Then when the false reality crumbles, we are expected to believe another third hand story. People we never met but had trust in are no better than the criminals sitting in a jail. The only truth is what we see, hear and evaluate for ourselves first hand. All the rest is up to interpretation.

Alphabet of Life

The alphabet is an order of letters. It starts with A and ends with Z. It is great for spelling words but not the best for living life. Life needs to have the concept of a deeper order. Some people live their life as an AB. I live mine as an AZ. The "A" part is always the action of doing something. The second letter represents what the reaction to your action will be. Most people do not look ahead and that is the problem. They do something without thinking how it will affect them or the person they are doing it to. They do not have foresight. I look very far ahead to the point where I have every scenario covered.

New Location

Yesterday I had my annual physical. I have been going to the same doctor for well over 20 years. He changed locations and I saw him in his new office. It felt strange driving to a new location. I did not know where the building was as the location is in a medical complex where one building sits behind another. The parking was terrible as it was one lot for a few buildings. Once I got to the office, I saw that the staff was different. No notices had been sent out to inform the patients that the practice had moved so each person that checked in had the same comments. Why weren't they informed? For some reason, charts were not allowed to leave with him, so all new paperwork had to be filled out. I am sure that we will all get used to the change, but I like things remaining the same.

Columbus Day

Today is Columbus Day. We celebrate the man who "discovered America". For many years this has been a holiday where the schools have closed, mail is not delivered and parades have taken place. Par for the course in today's divisive atmosphere, people are protesting Columbus. Agitators want to ban parades and remove statues. They say that Columbus was not a nice man and that maybe he did not really discover America. They want all recognition of Columbus erased. What is going on with this world? The holiday is a tradition of pride for our country. Italian Americans show their dual respect to both countries by enjoying a holiday that represents a land they came from and a land they came to. Why do "politically correct" people need to ruin this? Someone needs to put a stop to the attitudes that are destroying America. We need to stand together. Stand up for our country, stand up for our flag and stand up for each other. I just read that the Dallas Cowboy's owner, Jerry Jones, has said that when his team plays, any player that takes a knee for the flag during the national anthem will not play. Good for him. Finally someone playing football has balls.

Check In

This morning my sister and I are going to Brooklyn to visit my parents. I am bringing them lunch which should last for a few days. My sister is making her delicious meatballs. Always a crowd pleaser. She is also making enough for a few meals. My parents have had a good week but we just want to pop in and visit. I wish it was not raining, but hopefully the clouds will clear up.

Enlightened

Many people live their lives never being enlightened. Enlightenment is a rational, well informed outlook and being spiritually aware. Enlightenment is not the place we wind up. It is the trip that took us there. You are still the same person you were, but you have a new ability to see things in a fresh way. Being enlightened means seeing things with open eyes. Your physical eyes are the same, but how they translate what they see is different. They act like a filter, separating pieces of the puzzle to be analyzed in a simpler way. Sometimes a life event leads to enlightenment.  Sometimes it is a work in progress that slowly builds up. All I know is that enlightenment makes life calmer.

What Season

Is it Autumn or is it Summer? The seasons do not have their own identities anymore. Just when it was turning the cool weather of fall, summer has returned. The cool breeze of open windows was replaced last night by air conditioning. I wish the weather would be true to its season and not play games with us.

PCP

Healthcare used to be easy. You went to a doctor and you were reimbursed 80%. Done. Now you have a plan and a sub plan and a network. Since my husband became managed Medicare, he needed to find a primary care physician. This person not only needed to be in the plan, but he needed to be in the sub plan and the network. Yesterday I spent 2 hours on the phone trying to have the insurance company get it right. It took four tries and hopefully when I check his benefits this morning it is really correct. The healthcare system needs to be overhauled as it is breaking down more and more as each day passes.

The Catalyst

A catalyst is a person or thing that precipitates an event. A catalyst creates change. Good or bad, our world needs a catalyst because without one, things would remain the same forever. It is not easy for some people to see the importance of a catalyst. They would rather stay safe in their own ways of doing things. It is as if six friends went to the beach. Three of them are facing the water and the other three are facing the parking lot. The first three comment on how nice the shoreline is and the other three say that there is no water, only pavement. When they are asked to turn around and see that there is water, they say that they are too comfortable in their chairs and do not care to budge but they continue to complain about the view. The new doctor, as horrible as she is, has shown us that certain things in the way my office was run could be better. After spending 7 months angry with her, we opened our eyes and took what she was saying into consideration. Certain old ways have been replaced with new ones and the office is better off. It was tough to admit. That is what will happen with our country. When people stop being so angry and look at what was not good about our country, only then will they see that a catalyst was put there to open our eyes and make things change. Inertia is the road to ruin.

Dinner

Every night as I eat my last bite of dinner, I think the same thought. What is for dinner tomorrow? It is getting to be a chore figuring out what to eat. There are only a few food groups that I usually make. Chicken, meat, pork and fish are the big four. How many ways can I cook them without it getting boring? Tonight I will try a new recipe and I hope it does not turn out disgusting.

Nourishment

I take my breakfast and lunch to work everyday. For some reason this morning it seemed like I was packing for a week. Item after item was placed into my tote bag until it became very heavy. Some items will last for four days and others only one. I realized that eating is a responsibility and almost a chore.

Comfort

Comfort is defined as a state of physical ease. Comfort comes in many forms. It can be in people, in things and in food. To me it is a reliability that you know is a sure thing . During this holiday week I was lucky to have comfort from beginning to end. It started off with a family dinner surrounded by the people I love and it ended with a family dinner with the people I love. The foods were traditional and familiar and that brought extra comfort to me. The first meal included chicken and brisket. According to the entire family it was the best brisket they ever ate. I have to agree. Now the "brisket bar" has moved to a new height. The last holiday meal was bagels and lox, another delicious meal. If you are not Jewish, you do not have the love of lox instilled in you. It is an acquired taste to other cultures but is in our blood. Each meal included wonderful conversation and above all an abundance of love. This holiday season will be etched in my mind as one of the best ever.