Happy Halloween

I love Halloween. I just love it in a different way than I did years ago. You know you are getting old when you resort to leaving the candy out on the stoop, in a bowl, with a sign that says "please do not ring the bell". I have the fondest memories of taking my children Trick or Treating when they were young. One year it rained so hard that no one came out. No one except my children. We held umbrellas as we walked from house to house. At each driveway, my kids ran to the front door. There were wet leaves on the walkways but they didn't care. They ran, slipped on the leaves, fell, got up, and headed to the front door. They must have fallen 20 times. I couldn't stop laughing, seeing them so determined to get to the candy. Today, mothers will take their kids around the neighborhood and feel the same joy as I did 25 years ago. Happy Halloween. Take pictures.

Bizarro

I love to watch Seinfeld. I have seen so many reruns, that I probably can recite most scripts. His cleaver sayings have become part of the American language. Who can forget shrinkage, low talking, rhymes with Dolores. The one I relate to the most is Bizarro World. It is a world that is the opposite of reality. A backwards world, where everything we knew as being right, is wrong. Kind of like Opposite Day in camp. Our world is leaning towards being Bizarro World. Hard working people struggle to pay rent and buy food, and the Jersey Shore kids pull in hundreds of thousands of dollars to drink, vomit, fight, have indiscriminate sex and urinate in public.And we watch this. Sponsors pay big bucks to the television stations, to be a part of this insanity. I have now banned myself from watching any television shows that condone this type of behavior. I will watch the men in Deadliest Catch pull crab pots out of the water for hours and then tune into the truckers driving on the ice roads in Alaska and mountain tops of Bolivia. At least those people work hard for a living.

Family Dinner

Years ago, families had dinner together every night. They would gather around the table with no outside distractions and discuss what went on that day. It was a special kind of interaction and I believe it kept the family close. When women went back to work due to the economy, the family dinners became less frequent as schedules did not coincide. Daily dinners became weekly dinners. Culturally, the days of those dinners were consistent. Some cultures had Friday night dinners while some had Sunday afternoon dinners. Lately, the weekly dinners are falling by the wayside. I believe family time together, sitting around a table, eating and talking, are what keeps the bond tight. My family dinner night is Saturday and no matter what people say, I am keeping that tradition.

You Never Know

I used to think my father was funny when he never threw certain things away. He would tell me "don't throw it away, you never know when you will need it". Well, today that statement came true. I am preparing for a presentation and I needed to have a chart that shows a large circle with ten smaller circles drawn within it. Most people my age would know that you need a compass to do that. Not a compass that shows you directions, the one that draws perfect circles. I know I had one years ago but I cannot remember if I threw it out, or just placed it into a draw, where it has sat for 25 years. With all of our computer technology, I still need a manual tool. I have wasted 45 minutes of my morning checking drawers and closets and still no compass. My next plan of action is to call my sister. If anyone still has a compass, it will be her. So, Dad, you are correct when you said "you never know...."

A Dogs Heart

Even though humans think they are at the top of the ladder intelligence wise, I think that dogs are on the top of the ladder emotionally. A dogs heart is in his tail. Not anatomically, but spiritually. You cannot read emotions on a dogs face and it would look silly if dogs smiled. You can see the intensity of their happiness through their tail. If they are a bit happy their tail wags like intermittent windshield wipers. If they are very happy, their tail moves at a steady pace. When they reach their peak of happiness their tail almost becomes a lethal weapon. Swishing back and forth like a sword. A dog cannot hide his emotions and he lets you know just where you stand in his life. Wouldn't it be great if humans could do that too. A dogs' heart is pure and loving.

The Perfect Body

I live in a world where there are many bodies. I am not talking about the ones with arms and legs. I am talking about the ones who take responsibilities for their actions. My name is "Somebody". When there is a task to be done, people always assume that Somebody will do it. And they are right. Somebody follows through and the task is completed. Sometimes, Somebody gets tired. The other bodies know that things need to get done. In the perfect world, they would be done by "Everybody" and "Anybody". "Nobody" does anything.  So, in essence, the fact is, Everybody and Anybody can do the job. Somebody does it and Nobody says thanks.

Don't They Learn

It is happening again. I am at risk of losing my health benefits. Once again the hospital is having trouble paying the premium to the insurance company. The thing that upsets me the most, is that for a second time in 2 years, the hospital president has been accused of stealing the funds. How stupid could this man be. His predecessor is serving eight years in jail for doing the same thing. Did this new man think that no one would be checking on him? Even a child knows that if his friend is caught stealing from a candy store, it isn't smart to steal from the same one. So, because of one man's greed, 2000 people may be in jeopardy.  The state may be forced to take over and then the firings will begin. If this man goes to trial, the judge should impose a 16 year term. Double the punishment for double the stupidity.

Dreaming About Flowers

When I was a child, I used to be afraid of the darkness, when I went to sleep. One night, as I was crying for my mother to come into the room, she said "go to sleep, and dream about flowers". From that day on, that sentence became a part of my bedtime routine. Every night for as long as I can remember, I called out "what should I dream about" and she answered "flowers". It was a simplistic way of soothing a frightened child. It worked like magic. I was always comforted. I wish life was that easy, now. Sometimes things just become so stressful, that I wish that dreaming about flowers could solve the problem.

The Postman Rings Twice

There is an old movie titled "The Postman Always Rings Twice". The way things are going, before we know it, there might not be a postman to ring even once. Who ever thought that the post office would be in trouble? That is the one thing we could always count on. Rain, sleet or dark of night, the mail would be delivered. Now, a majority of people are paying bills online. That means no stamp and no postman. Multiply each household that is no longer paying their monthly bills the old fashioned way, by 44 cents for each stamp, and the amount lost by the postal service is mind boggling. We even have the capability of printing our own stamps. Is nothing sacred any more. If we can print stamps, will printing money come next? Charge $100 and hit print. The world is changing and in my opinion, not always for the better. What will happen to my mailman. How will he find another job where he can wear shorts in the winter?

They Paved Paradise

I grew up in a time when family and community were valued. There were family dinners, family outings and community events. Since that time, we have turned into a solitary society. More and more of our entertainment is done alone. So much time is spent on electronic devices that there is no time left for relationships. How many of us have been so engrossed in the computer, that we ignored our families. Today's children no longer have the ability to amuse themselves without some sort of gadget in their hand. This morning I was talking about the public libraries. Kindles and electronic notebooks are being bought by the thousands. It is a shame that a bookstore like Borders books had to go out of business due to low sales. Will our libraries be next? Will my grandchildren know the fun of picking out a book from the library bookshelves, or go to story time with a dozen other children with runny noses. If no one visits the libraries, they will lose funding and eventually shut down. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

Loose Lips

In World War 11, someone coined the phrase "loose lips sink ships". It basically meant keep your mouth shut. People have a tendency to talk too much. The more you talk, the less you say. No one really wants to hear a long boring story. Cut to the chase, speed it up, let's be done with it. Years ago I worked in an office and every day the mailman would say the same sentence. It went like this... Hi, how are you,good, good. Have a nice day. He never waited for an answer. You could have said that you contracted the plague, and he would still say "good, good". He had the right idea. Ask the proper questions and answer them yourself. A win-win situation. I am sure he never got into trouble because of something he said. I wish everyone could take a lesson from John, the mailman.

Hair Raising

I am becoming a Pom Pom. I am living the Hippie days all over again. Someone once told me that the quality of your hair changes every 17 years. I guess I was due for a change. I started to notice this when people complained that my hair was blocking their view when I was a passenger in their car. It seems that when they looked right, to turn, all they saw was a fluff of blond hair. So, I cut it. Pretty short. Short enough that no one liked it. I let it grow out and much to my dismay, it started to look like a perm. A very tight perm. The kind that old ladies with white hair get. I hate it. My sister has straight dark hair. I always envied her. Imagine having hair that could be put into a pony tail and swing in the wind. Not my hair. If I put it into a pony tail, I look like a cross between ball fringe and steel wool. Oh well, at least I have hair. That is more than I can say for most men.

Gifted

I have a new word that I have issues with. Gifted. This term is used by many parents to describe their child. I wonder if they have any idea how ridiculous they sound. Every child is a gift. No child is more special than another child. I laugh when a parent calls me to book an appointment with one of my psychologists. They tell me the reason why their child is having trouble and just before the conversation ends, I am informed that the child is gifted. They have no friends, do poorly in school, fight with everyone in the family.....but they are gifted. Do they really think that makes a difference to me? Your child still needs counseling. Maybe the pressure of being referred to as "gifted", is taking it's toll on them. That is a high standard to live up to. The bar may be a bit too high for them to jump over. Stop saying your child is gifted and just let them be who they are.

No. It is self explanatory. N-O. Two letters. Why can't people just take no for an answer. Last week I went to join Costco. I wanted a $50 membership. The woman behind the counter said take the $100 plan, it has more perks. I nicely said "No, I only want to spend $50". She kept nagging me, like a 4 year old. I then said "No, I only have $50". She kept on nagging. I then said, "if you want me to have the $100 plan so much, go to your wallet and chip in the extra $50". She still kept nagging. Did she actually think she would wear me down? We bantered back and forth, until my tone became a bit nasty. All I wanted to do was join Costco. I didn't need this woman talking at me, not listening. In hindsight, I would have acted differently. I would have said No once and then just stared blankly until she got the idea. I do not envy her family. They must get an earful.

Blink, Blink

What is it about the directionals in our cars? They are made to make a sound when they are on, to remind us to shut them off. It is an easy task. If you are going straight and have no intentions of changing lanes, shut off your blinker. Not only does it make a noise, it also flashes on your dashboard. It is trying to get the attention of two of your senses. Sight and sound. Do we need a hand to come out of the steering wheel to slap you in the face so you can have three senses stimulated? It is dangerous, because I do not know if you have an intention of changing lanes and feel the need to warn me ten minutes in advance. My instinct is to keep a safe distance, just in case and drive as if I am on the lookout. The other day, I drove to work in back of a car that kept it's blinker on for 15 miles. I followed him all the way to my exit and he never shut it off. For all I know it is still blinking.

Crying Down I-95

In a few hours I will be leaving my children and making the hours long trip back home. As I coast down I-95, I will be crying. Tears of sadness and tears of joy. Sad tears because I am leaving two people I love very much. Joyous tears because I am leaving them in a wonderful place, surrounded by a family that cares for and nurtures them. They have no idea how much this weekend meant to me. Every plan that I had formulated in my head for weeks, played out in real life. Time alone with my "girl", time alone with my "boy" and time with all three of us, together. We ate delicious food and went to a country fair. At night we just sat next to each other on the couch, and watched TV. Like a normal family. If I won the lottery, I could not have been happier. In fact, thinking about it, I did win the lottery. Time with my children was the biggest payoff I could ever ask for. I hope to do this again, some day. I had the best weekend in New England.

Unwinding

I have been away from home for 3 days now. It is amazing how a change of location also changes the way your body reacts to life. I have slept better than I have in 10 years, Calmer and peacefully, The air is fresher and smells sweeter here. The slower pace of life is working its' way into my bloodstream. My mind, that usually races with thoughts, seems to be just floating in my head like a cloud. My son, who was born and bred in NY, always refers to New York, in a not so positive way. After living here for a short time, I completely understand. Maybe after 55 years, I no longer enjoy being a city girl. I have one more day here and we will spend it at a festival or a fair. I might have to do this solo trip again. It is like a cherry flavored medicine that tastes great and is also good for your health.

Thanks, Barry

Yesterday, I drove to Massachusetts. It was an uneventful drive with minimal traffic. I had a great ride thanks to my good friend, Barry. We had been much closer in the 1970's and 1980's. We drifted apart as our lifestyles changed. When we reunited, it was as if no time had passed. We laughed, cried and sang out loud, as we eased on down the road. Without him, the ride would have seemed forever. Having another voice in the car was wonderful. I was flooded with memories of the past as I drove up I95. Thanks again, Barry for understanding that even though we had been estranged for over 20 years, an old friend is still a good friend.  I will forever be a Fan-i-low of Barry Manilow.

Today Is The Day

If you have read my previous blogs you will know that I have written about "Passing The Exit". Today, in about 1 hour, I will get on the same road that I take to work, but this time I will actually pass the exit. I am heading to Massachusetts to see my children. It is a retreat for me. After many stressful months, I am leaving home for a few days. I will go to a place where the people are kind and caring. A place where there will be no demands on me. A place where my happiness and well being are a priority. I will have time to unwind and get back to a calmer state of being. I am lucky to have such a place to run to. The long ride, alone, is out of my comfort zone, but sometimes in order to move on in life, we must break through the ceiling of that zone. I am ready to move on, and have my hammer in my hand.

I See The Light

The seasons are beginning to change, all too quickly. The one thing I dread most about this has already happened. Getting up in the dark. For the last six months I have gotten spoiled. When I awoke at 6:15am, it was light out. The sunshine streaming through my blinds. I felt energized and ready to jump out of bed and start a new day. That is no longer the case. Now when my alarm goes off, it is dark out. I feel like a night worker. How can it be time to get up when it looks like the middle of the night. I drag myself out of bed and get ready for work in slow motion. It is amazing that even though I am sleeping the same amount of hours, I get up feeling different. Even when they change the clocks, it will not help much. I guess that is why religious people feel joyous when they "see the light".

Helpline

I am not a computer expert. I have a working knowledge of the basics. Somehow, in work, I have become the "go to gal". The person that everyone goes to when the computers have problems. Yesterday, we lost the network connection. It just disappeared. Went on hiatus. As usual, I was called in. I did as much as my expertise would allow and soon realized that I needed to call for reinforcements. I called Verizon, and was connected to "Jeremy". I told him what my problem was and he seemed stumped. After a lull in the conversation, I said, let's try looking in Network Places. He agreed. I slowly stepped him through the process and together we solved the problem. I knew 85% of what I was doing, he knew 15%. Without him, I would still be off line, but without me, he would have had no idea how to even try to solve the issue. Even when you call in the "experts" it still takes a team to get things up and running.

Columbus Day

Today is Columbus Day. The day, in 1492,  that Christopher Columbus discovered America. Actually, he was lost when he arrived here. In 2011, we are still in America and we are still lost. This country has no idea where it is going. Protesters on Wall Street, are heading into their third week. I agree with them, but do not know what they think they will change. They are costing the city millions of dollars in police overtime. If they are protesting wild government spending, why are they making the government spend wildly? It seems to me, to be more like a Woodstock atmosphere. A group endeavor that will become a documentary and possibly a Hollywood movie. Who will play the lead activist? Maybe Charlie Sheen. He has a lot of spare time, lately. Five hundred and nineteen years later, we still have not really discovered America.

Bye, Bye, Birdies

My birds have flown the coop. It took a while, but they finally have strong enough wings to fly away. When they bought their own home, we never realized how much work had to be done to get it up to their standards. Not my standards, their standards. In hindsight, their standards were better. The house is now beautiful, and they can move in without having to live in a mess. They took title in May and we all thought that they would be in by July. July turned into August. August turned into September. September turned into October. It became a sore subject when people asked me "when are they moving in". I started to answer "never". It was a stupid question and people knew it was a rhetorical one, but they still asked. Now I no longer have to fend that question. I wish them health and happiness in their new home. I am now an empty nester.

One Hand

I have no idea how 2 people in the same office can have totally different information. Does the right hand know what the left hand is doing? Just today, my sister called me to let me know that maintenance was due on our oil burners. She was told that the servicemen were all booked up and the next availability was in four weeks. She asked why so long and she was told that due to the hurricane, a few months back, they were still swamped with cleanups. She booked the appointment for the next month. She called me to let me know that I needed to call asap as my contract was running out. I called. I was asked when I want the appointment. I said how soon was the next availability. Next week. Any day and time of my choice. I booked for next week and called my sister. She will be calling them back to see why someone told her wrong information. These two operators work in the same office, probably three feet away. How could their information be miles apart.

Sublime

I just read an article about the subliminal messages we receive from advertisers. There was a study done that showed how our subconscious minds can be swayed without us even noticing. Placements of signs, tee shirt logos, colors. There are companies that devote themselves to studying the human mind and how product marketing can affect how we purchase items. Certain stores shuffle around where items are. Each week they are placed in a different area. It is like a treasure hunt, trying to find the item you came in for. That's the idea. To make you search further into the store and possibly see another item you may or may not really need. It is not by accident that the cereals with the most sugar are placed on the bottom shelf. They are there to be at eye level with children. That is the target age group. Not many adults eat Lucky Charms. Everywhere we go, indirect messages are being sent to us. Is it real or is it Memorex?

50/50

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that people don't listen to what you say? Lately, when I speak to someone, either professionally or in my personal life, no one listens. They hear 50% of what I say. The annoying part, is that when they are questioned about it, they claim I never told them. I am tired of hearing the old "you never told me that" story. I started an experiment in work. As each patient called for information, I documented, word for word, what was said during our conversation. Needless to say, when they called back a week later, asking the same question, and were told the same answer, they said "that is not what you told me". I informed them that I had documented every bit of the previous conversation. Somehow their memory was jogged a bit and I was told "that sounds familiar". Are people day dreaming through life, filtering things out as they go? When I give a sandwich order in the deli, why do they make it wrong, 1/2 the time? How hard is it to hone in on an order for 6 bagels? Why do I have to repeat it 4 times? Two sesame or three. As Judge Judy says, "put on your listening ears".

Clean Up

I work in an office that pays a cleaning service a lot of money to clean our office each night. For some unknown reason, no one can do it properly. Each time we are dissatisfied, we interview another company. The routine is always the same. The owner arrives, all dressed up in a suit and tie, carrying a clipboard. He surveys the area and says "we can do better". We point out all of the trouble spots and are told that his company will make the office spotless. With trust and good faith, we hire the new service. Just like a boy courting a girl, the first few weeks are great. Sinks are sparkling and floors are swept. Then as we fall into our comfort zone, the rug is pulled out from us, yet another time. The cobwebs appear and you can carve your initials into the soap scum on the sink. The complaining phone calls begin. Apologies and new promises are given. Once more, we must "break up" with our cleaning service. The next week, a new man arrives, in a suit and tie.

Press *

I have an alarm system in my house. It keeps me safe when I am home and keeps my house safe when I am out. It has one feature that I love. When I disengage the alarm, it says "Press * To Show Faults". I wish that humans had that button somewhere on their bodies. Perhaps on their shoulder. When you first meet someone you would push their * button. (Later on you push other buttons, but that is another blog). After you push the * button, a list of their faults would print out of their mouths... "I am lazy, I am inconsiderate, I have a big mouth.....". You then would have the opportunity to decide if this is the type of person you want to have in your life. At least then you know what to expect and there are no surprises.

Toyland

Before we know it, holiday season will be here. The retailers push the seasons, more than ever. I already see Halloween decorations in the stores even though we are still wearing bathing suits and flip flops.Every parent wants their child to have the newest toys on the market. I remember back in the 1980's when Cabbage Patch Kids were all the rage. Parents stood on line for hours just to "adopt" their own doll. They were sold on the "black market" for outlandish prices. Parents got into fist fights in the aisles of the toy stores where stock was limited. I always thought the dolls were creepy, and since I had boys, I never joined the frenzy. I do remember searching high and low for a Transformer action figure named Man-O-War. It took weeks and many visits to Toys R Us, but I got it. The prized Man-O-War figure. That was the only time I ran around like a lunatic looking for a toy. I learned my lesson a few weeks later when I found Man-O-War crammed in a corner of my playroom. Discarded, like yesterdays trash. I vowed never again to make any toy a priority. I soon realized that sometimes the box was more fun than the toy.

Say A Prayer

I am not a religious person, not in a structured way. I am traditional and ethnic. I follow cultural guidelines and celebrate holidays in my own way. I do not do it in a formal setting because I feel that god lives within me and where I go, he goes. I do not need to go into a building to speak to him. We are on very friendly terms and he is accessible to me 24/7. Each day when I get up, I say a prayer. It is the same one each day. It has almost become a mantra. I say thanks for what I have, thanks for looking out for me, and what I plan to do that, day that will help others. Faith is believing in something we do not see or cannot touch. I have Faith. Faith that whatever should happen, will happen. I believe in the book of life. So it is written, so it is done.

Passing The Exit

Anyone who knows me well, has heard me say that one day I will "pass the exit". What I mean by this, is that on my way to work I will just pass the exit and continue on to Massachusetts. I know that the day is coming closer. Passing the exit means that I will be escaping the responsibilities of life, if only for a few days. Running away, so to speak. To a place where the people ask nothing from me. A place where my needs are a priority. People who want nothing more than to see me relaxed and stress free. Passing the exit started off as a joke, but now it is becoming a reality. Sometimes we all need to change our environment, even if it is only for a few days. A time to regroup and regain our composure. Sometimes passing the exit really means getting back on track.