Still Waiting

I am still waiting for my password reset. As each day passes I get more frustrated. There is no one to call and complain to. It is email only. I do not like it when I am not in control of a situation. When I am in control, things go as planned.

Reset

All I want is a password reset. It is a simple request. The tech department received my request, did not really read it and forwarded it to another department. I called that department and they said they cannot help as it is a tech issue and told me to write the tech department again. I did that yesterday and there is still no response. This is getting annoying. It is a password reset, a link, that is it. I am not asking for them to solve the mystery of the Holy Grail, or asking for them to tell me the esoteric meaning of life. I am asking for someone to give me a temporary password to reopen my online account. Why is this becoming so much work?

Technical Issues

I have been locked out of my healthcare account. There was a technical issue with the site and I am not able to log in. I called the insurance company and they referred me to their technical department. The only way to get in touch with them is through email. I sent an email and I am still waiting for a response. All I wanted to do was make a simple premium payment and now it has turned into a fiasco. I mailed a check last week and now have to wait for it to be picked up at the PO Box. Then it goes to "financial" where it is logged in. Next a spreadsheet is created and it goes to the Cobra department. Finally it will be logged in to the system. If it is not done by December 1, my healthcare will be "terminated" until the check is posted and then reopened. All of this runaround because there was a technical issue with the site.

Phone Calls

This morning I have to make phone calls. Murphy's Law is that things go wrong over a holiday weekend so you have to worry for four days until they get resolved. I have to call my health insurance to unlock my account. Their website went down and locked me out. I have to call Access a Ride to make sure my parent's rides are booked correctly. I have to call the agency that sends the aides to make sure that the aide can go with my parents on errands Tuesdays and Thursdays. For some reason this agency wants the aides to sit in all day. That is not what I need them for. Hopefully by the end of this morning all of the calls will be made and the problems worked out.

Fair

It has been quite a few years since I have done a jewelry fair. For some reason, on the spur of the moment, I signed up for one. It is at a local temple. I will be selling my Pracelets and 2 styles of necklaces. The necklaces were an after thought. Since I had the materials, I figured why not just sell more things. This type of fair can go either way. You can have a great day or make no sales at all. I am sure it will be a pleasant day.

The Job

Some people have a job. Other people are the job. The difference is dedication and purpose. The people that are the job are police officers, firefighters and people in the healthcare industry, to name a few. Their jobs are meshed into their souls. It is a dedication that comes from within and is there from a young age. These jobs are ones that help others at the sake of their own safety and well being. Police and firefighters put their lives on the line for strangers and do that without a blink of an eye. That is their purpose. Healthcare workers are there to make your life easier. In the past few weeks I have seen the reality of life from the perspective of a family that needs to rely on others for the safety and care of my parents. I always knew what my sons selflessly did for other people and understood how it gave comfort. Now I am on the other side of the equation and am grateful that people are doing that for me.

Holiday Season

Yesterday was the official start of the holiday season. Retail workers were pulled from their family dinners to open up stores for people to buy items that will still be on sale next week. If the holiday season is about family, why are material items more important? The whole concept is contradictory. The cycle of buy, give, return is now in full motion. The most prized gifts that I have ever gotten were the ones that came from the heart and not from the store. It could be a card with my name scrawled on it. It could be a popsicle stick with two googly eves glued unevenly. It did not matter what it was. It only mattered who it was from.

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving. It is a day that we spend with family and eat wonderful food. People focus on what they are thankful for. I started to think about the difference between thankful and grateful. Being thankful is a feeling. Being grateful is a deeper emotion.Thankfulness is short lasting. Gratitude last forever. The concept can be a bit confusing. Gratitude carries a deeper feeling and awareness. I am trying to think of a good example and have one that I think fits the bill. I have a friend that has created a charity that collects children's books and distributes them to hospitals and food pantries. The children get to keep these books for free. I know my friend is thankful for all of the people that have donated the books. The children are grateful that someone thought of them and are giving selflessly to them. That feeling will be with them forever. Today, I hope everyone is thankful for what they have and grateful for the meaning behind it.

Jesus Take The Wheel

There is a lot going on in my life. I can handle everything as long as I have a plan. I was in work the other day speaking to one of the doctors about the chaos that is surrounding me. As a joke he looked up to the sky, raised his hands and shouted, "Jesus take the wheel". The fact that the doctor is Jewish made the statement funny. The concept behind it though was comforting. Sometimes you cannot control everything and you have to relinquish power and let things ride naturally. Whether it be God, or Jesus or anyone else that you say, sometimes someone else needs to navigate the wheel so you have time to regroup.

Contacts

Every cell phone has an area for contacts. I had very few saved in mine. I had close family, one doctor, Shelby's vet and a few friends. I put them in years ago and never added to the list. This week, I added more names than I originally had. None of the names are directly for me. They are all for my parents. I now have their doctor's, Access a Ride, taxi services, social workers, home healthcare aides, physical therapy offices and more. I had been working with these numbers on pieces of scrap paper but that system was not working well.

Little Ears

This morning my younger granddaughter is getting tubes in her ears. After spending last winter with many ear infections, the doctors decided to insert tubes so her ears will not have fluid in them. My younger son also had that done when he was a baby. It is a scary thing to have your child under anesthesia and in surgery. I remember the day vividly down to where I sat and what I ate. I feel bad for my son, having to worry about his daughter. It will be an upsetting day, but when it is over she will be better. I can't wait until I hear that the surgery is done and she is smiling again.

Supplies

My car trunk is full to the top. This morning my sister and I are bringing supplies to our parents. Since they have spent the last 15 winters in Florida, they are not very prepared for New York winters. We are bringing them warm clothes and coats in addition to homecooked food, cooked by my sister. As of this week they will have everything they need to be comfortable for the winter season. All loose ends are tied up so life can resume.

A Child's Eyes

I saw my grandson on Sunday at his mother's baby shower. My parents were also there. The following week my dad needed a procedure on his arm. That is when my sister and I decided to hire an aide to be with my parents so they would not be alone during the week. We needed to stock the house with food and make sure things are in order. We needed to get Access A Ride for my dad so he does not have to drive home from  dialysis at night. It was a bit stressful, but things are in place.When I saw my grandson on Thursday he looked at me and asked, "Grandma, did you get old?" I was shocked. He saw the stress on my face and noticed that I looked tired. He interpreted it as being old. A four year old child was tuned into my feelings and his eyes looked at me with such compassion that I almost cried. The eyes of a child are pure and honest. 

Help

It is never an easy thing to realize that your life will never be the same. My parents are in their 90's and have been active and self sufficient until now. Yesterday we hired an aide to be with them and oversee their well being when my sister and I are not there. It was strange to have someone else in their house. Strange but comforting. My sister and I are no longer able to handle the daily needs of our parents. There is a lot going on in our personal lives and we cannot cut ourselves in half. It was time to call in the reserves. It will be a new normal.

Tools of the Trade

All professions have the "tools of their trade". Plumbers have a wrench. Electricians have wires. Carpenters have hammers. Doctors have their stethoscopes. The stethoscope is a tool that is used for 5 seconds but brings in a lot of money. It is usually worn like a necklace to show a doctor's stature. I once put one around my neck and it was really uncomfortable. If you are in a hospital and a doctor pops his head in to say hello, as long as he listens to your heart, he will charge your insurance. Stethoscope = revenue.

Better Late

I just got home from my parent's house. My father needed a procedure done for his dialysis and I took the day off. I was out of my normal morning routine and for the first time ever I forgot to write this blog. At the end of the day my son called to ask if I was alright since the blog was not up. Had he not done that I would have broken my perfect streak. He called and I write.

Alaska

I live in the state of New York.  It is a place where things are done right away.  Nothing is put off until tomorrow.  Other people live in Alaska.  They choose not to do something when they are asked to. They will respond by saying, "Alaska" (I'll ask her).  Sometimes living in New York gets tiring.  My next vacation is going to be "Alaska".

In God We Trust

I designed a new bracelet that is a replica of a one dollar bill.  In the center read the words, "In God We Trust".  As I get older, that has become my new philosophy of life.  I no longer try to understand why things happen.  I leave things in God's hands and let him figure out what is best for me.

Sprinkle

Today is the Sprinkle. It is a mini baby shower for a second baby when it is a different sex. It is a smaller version of a shower with less people. The gifts are small ones since the first child received the larger ones. My grandson is so excited that there will be a party in his house. I do not know if he really understands what is going on, but he does know that there will be candy. I am so blessed to be expecting a fourth grandchild.

Too Cold

Yesterday was too cold. Cold plus wind make me unhappy. Cold plus wind plus knowing my parents are in New York and not Florida, makes me more unhappy. The weather people say that it will warm up to 52 degrees by Sunday so maybe this is just a cold wave. Usually it is in the 40's in November and December, so I hope this cold passes through quickly.

Parent Bully

I have become a parent bully. When I suggest something sensible and my parents are wishy washy about it, I bully them into doing what is right. Since they are in New York for at least the next three months and it gets dark out early, I do not want my father driving at night. I want them to call a car service to take them back and forth to his medical treatments. First they agreed, then they said that they were going to do their regular routine. That is when I went into bully mode. I argued that there was no way I would allow them to drive at night and stayed on the phone as they called a car service for today. I will set up a three day schedule with a local car service and make sure that they are safe. I hate to be harsh, but I need to do the right thing.

Paranoia

My office is become paranoid. Since the new doctor arrived she has systematically instilled a sense of paranoia in my boss. Yesterday it was email paranoia. As everyone knows, we all receive daily emails that we did not ask for, from people and places that we do not know. That is what the delete button is for. My boss is now worried that when we email newsletters to people who have given us their email addresses, we will be sued. Sued for what? An email saying there is a new group forming? When will her madness end? I see her mental decline as her paranoid worries escalate and honestly it is getting annoying.

Three Way Conversation

Sometimes it takes three people to have a conversation. One talks, one listens and the third interprets. That is what happened yesterday. The new doctor was questioning a deposit in her bank account. The bookkeeper told her that she was wrong. She argued that this information was directly from the bank as she had just come from a meeting with her banker. The bookkeeper said that the banker didn't know what he was talking about. I intervened when they both began to roll their eyes at each other. The doctor was right. The bookkeeper just was not understanding the issue. I had to explain to both of them what was happening using hand gestures and post its. Finally everyone understood. This was another example of smart vs bright. The doctor is smart, the bookkeeper is bright, but I am both smart and bright.

Election Day

Finally, the annoying phone calls at all hours of the day will end. My mailbox will no longer be stuffed with oversized postcards. I will not be subjected to nasty television commercials where each candidate says the other is a thief, liar and criminal. Hopefully people will vote "No" to the Constitutional Convention so our pensions will remain safe. As we can see, a year has passed since the 2016 election. We are all still standing. America is still here and truth be told, we are stronger. Things change slowly and with a lot of caution, even in this administration. We are no worse for the wear.

Soup

I like soup. Not every day, but occasionally. My parent's generation loves soup. I never realized how much their generation loved it until I began talking to other people who have parents in their 90's. Soup is their comfort food. It is a meal that they fall back on when they have nothing better to eat. There is always soup in the house and plenty of it. In cans, frozen and in the refrigerator. Maybe it stems from when they were children and money was tight. After a regular meal one night, the remains could be turned into soup for the next few nights. Just add some potatoes, vegetables and seasoning to remaining bones or bits of meat and there you go. A hearty dinner.

Turning Back Time

Today we turn back the clocks. Too bad we are not able to turn back time. Only the face of the clock changes, time stays the same. How many people would have loved to turn back the clocks for one hour, in the real sense? How many decisions would have been different? Maybe they would not have said something to hurt another person's feelings. Maybe they would have had one less drink and not sat behind the wheel of a car. Maybe they would have made time to listen to someone in distress. As we turn back our clocks today, we should be mindful of what we do from now on. In a sense, that would be like turning back the clock ahead of time.

The Power

When it comes down to it, humans do not hold the power of the universe. Tiny microscopic cells do. We can make any plan we like, but the tiny cell has the power to change it for us. I was supposed to be on the road to Massachusetts this morning. Yesterday the trip was cancelled because my granddaughter was sick. Her mother had just gotten over a virus, but it laid in wait to attack my granddaughter. Last week I booked the trip. Yesterday I cancelled the trip. When my daughter in law felt better, I rebooked the trip. At night when my granddaughter got sick, I cancelled again. I feel like I am on a roller coaster. I put their bags of gifts in my dining room and will continue to fill them up for when I go to see them in December.

The Big Three

The Big Three used to refer to sports teams. Now it refers to heath care. Three major companies are taking over our healthcare system. Northwell, NYU Langone and ProHealth have systematically eaten away at the small doctors. The have bought them out and are slowly building a healthcare army. The arsenal of weapons includes hospitals, urgent care and private doctors. The personalized care of yesterday is now becoming a management machine. There will be call centers and electronics. Everything will have a system and a plan and a protocol. There will be no room for individuality and compassion. The private doctors who have sold out are now employees and with that, they have lost whatever bedside manner they once had. They have to watch their words as they could now be fired like the rest of the staff. It is sad that we have dehumanized our healthcare system.

Reprimand

Yesterday I had to reprimand one of my receptionists. I overheard her "counseling" a patient and that is not good. The receptionist is smart and friendly but not a counselor. She had no right to give advice. After speaking to my boss, I called her into my office and told her that she could not talk to patients in a clinical way. What she told them was not earth shattering, but she has no idea what their triggers are. Telling them to call a friend and go out seems innocent, but what if the patient has rejection issues and the friend cannot go out? Telling the patient to take a long walk seems innocent, but what if seeing a stray dog along the walk is a trigger and their anxiety kicks in? By speaking about personal issues, the patient might begin to think of the receptionist as her friend or confidant and that is not beneficial. The girl did not take the talk well, but that is not my problem. As long as she understands her place in the office, I did my job.

Small Print

There is small print and there is minute print. I have no problem reading small print but this morning I needed to read minute print. I was looking for an expiration date on a coupon and it was impossible to see. I stared at it, focused on it and even put it under a bright light. There was no way that I could make out the date. It must be written in a 1 font. When I give it in to the pizza place, if it is expired, I will ask for it to be honored anyway. I earned it.