Follow Ups

Last month I had a nose procedure. Within a few days I saw great results. I can breath better than I have in years and no longer have a drip down my throat. Today I had a follow up appointment scheduled. I decided to cancel it. There is no reason to go . I feel fine and have no problems. All the doctor will do is look up my nose and tell me things look good. Most follow ups are not really necessary.

Days and Dates

I always know the day but not always the date. To me, days are more important. I know that certain things need to be done Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I know I drive to Brooklyn on Fridays and Sundays. I know there are work meetings on Tuesdays. These are my rotating schedules. The number of the day is not relevant. The only important dates are birthdays, anniversaries and doctor appointments. Other than those, I float through life just making sure I am doing what I need to do on the day I need to do it.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my mother's 95th birthday. It is the first one since she died, so it is a somber day. Last year on her birthday, she had just arrived back home after being in rehab for her stroke and we had hopes of a few more years with her. That was not to be. Even though she is not in the physical world, my sister and I will spend time with her this afternoon. We will stand at her graveside and tell her about everything that is happening in the family. I am sure she already knows as I feel her with me every day. She may not be here, but she is not gone.

The App

Until recently I did not have an iPhone. I had the old fashioned one that suited me well. I updated it when my daughter in law gave me her old one, so now I am in the 21st century. I never understood the App world. I would see people giving cashiers their phones to scan, but didn't fully know how the information got there. It was not relevant to me at the time. Now I am a full fledged member of the modern technology world. Yesterday I downloaded my first app. As I did, I hoped it would not screw up my phone. Needless to say it did not.

Rainy Days and Sundays

I woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain. The wind was blowing. I got that warm feeling of not having to get up and dressed and go to work. I could lie there a bit longer and get up whenever I wanted to. It is nice not to always be on a time schedule. As it is, I have a regular routine now, but everyone needs time to rest their head.

The Human Candle

Sometimes when my mind is totally at rest, a thought pops into it. Yesterday the analogy of the human spirit and a candle came to mind. A new candle is like the beginning of life. Its wick is lit and it shines brightly. It brings brightness into the world for everyone to see. Sometimes it flickers when the wind blows too strong, but it will regain its glow after a brief adjustment. Then a life event comes along and the light is snuffed out. All that is left is the dark smoke that hovers in the air reminding you just how fragile it is. The candle has been extinguished. Then you take a moment to look around and see that the candle is not gone, it is merely melted and spread thin. It is salvageable. You scrape the wax off of the ground and remold it. You get a new wick and place it into the center. A spark is struck and the candle comes to life once more, burning brightly. A candle, like the human spirit, never really dies. It can always be relit.

Counting Life

As I get older, I count life by events. When my children were very small, every time the accountant came to do my taxes, I would say that another year has flown by. A few years later, when the sprinkler man came to shut down the water, I would say another year has flown by. I now count time by weeks. Each Friday, I get up and know that I will be driving to Brooklyn to get my father from dialysis. When I get there I say to the other families waiting for their loved ones that another week has flown by. It feels like groundhog's day, but I do not want it to end.