Say What You Mean

Say what you mean but don't say it mean. That is the difference between an argument and a discussion. Arguments usually end on a bad note. A discussion might not always end with one person persuading the other person to their point of view, but the two parties will walk away without any ill feelings. I try not to argue with anyone. If I disagree with another person's view, I try to talk it out in a calm way. Loud voices and harsh words never settle anything. As I get older, I have also learned when to just walk away because sometimes that is easier than opening up a conversation.

Phones

Yesterday we had a new phone system installed.It was long overdue, not so much because it was a bad system but because my front receptionist had been complaining for years about it. She said the volume was low. I said clean out your ears. No one else had a problem. After being nagged for what seemed like a decade I finally decided to revamp the system. I ordered one that has hundreds of features, but I will only teach the staff how to pick it up to answer and hang up when done. Otherwise I will be redoing and undoing the mess they would make if they knew any fancy features. While the system was being installed, my receptionist huffed and puffed about the phones being out for a few minutes at a time. Finally when I could take no more whining, I told her that I got the phones because of her complaining so she better stop having a tantrum or I will have them pulled out.

Little Black Dress

A little black dress is a must for every woman. The word little does not refer to size. It refers to simplicity. I realized the truth of that statement as I got dressed for work this morning. I always knew the versatility of the little black dress but not as it related to me. This morning I will wear it to work and I will be properly dressed. Last weekend I wore one to a wedding and I was properly dressed. You are never over dressed or undressed with a little black dress. It fits into every occasion and
 lifestyle. Too bad that we all cannot live the life of a little black dress, always fitting in and being correct.

Blame

We are becoming a society of "blamers". If a person does something unconscionable, people try to place the blame on everyone else. Whatever happened to the thought that sometimes people are just mentally unstable or born wired differently? In a world with billions of people, there will always be some that are misguided, sick or just plain evil. Since man was created, there have been "bad seeds". For some reason, in the past few years when a horrible event has happened, some people feel the need to place blame on either one person or one group. That is ridiculous. Each human being is responsible for his or her own actions. There have been mass murders and terrorist acts in every country on earth since the beginning of time, even before the term "terrorist act" was coined.  Below is a list of horrible mass shootings prior to 2016, the benchmark date for placing blame. It sickened me to see it, but it is a part of American history. Who did we blame for these mass murders? Did we blame the president at the time or the government? If we did not do it then, we are we so quick to do it now?

						Virginia Tech shooting 2007 32 (plus 1 perp.) 23 (17 from gunfire) Semi-automatic pistols [61] Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting 2012 27 (plus 1 perp.) 2 Semi-automatic rifle and pistol [61] Luby's shooting 1991 23 (plus 1 perp.) 27 Semi-automatic pistols [61] San Ysidro McDonald's massacre 1984 21 (plus 1 perp.) 19 Semi-automatic pistols, and shotgun [61] University of Texas tower shooting 1966 16 (plus 1 perp. plus 1 victim who died in 2001[fn 1] 31 Rifles, revolver, pistols, and shotgun [61] Edmond post office shooting 1986 14 (plus 1 perp.) 6 Semi-automatic pistols [61] San Bernardino attack 2015 14 (plus 2 perps.) 24 Semi-automatic rifles [61][62] Fort Hood shooting 2009 14 [fn 1] 32 (plus 1 perp.) Semi-automatic pistol and revolver [66][67] Camden shootings 1949 13 3 Semi-automatic pistol [68][69] Wilkes-Barre shootings 1982 13 1 Semi-automatic rifle [70][71][72] Wah Mee massacre 1983 13 1 Semi-automatic pistol(s) and/or revolver(s)[fn 2] [73] Columbine High School massacre 1999 13 (plus 2 perps.) 24 (21 from gunfire) Semi-automatic carbine, semi-automatic pistol, shotguns [74] Binghamton shootings 2009 13 (plus 1 perp.) 4 Semi-automatic pistols [75] Aurora theater shooting 2012 12 70 Semi-automatic rifle, pistol, and shotgun [76][62][77] Washington Navy Yard shooting 2013 12 (plus 1 perp.) 8 Semi-automatic pistol and shotgun [78][79]   Easter Sunday massacre 1975 11 0 Semi-automatic pistols and revolver [83] Palm Sunday massacre 1984 10 0 Semi-automatic pistols [85] Geneva County massacre 2009 10 (plus 1 perp.) 6 Semi-automatic rifles, revolver, and shotgun [86][87]

Levels of Friendship

There are many levels of friendship and as we grow older they change. There are friends that we have and keep through the years at the same level. You speak very often and know what is happening in their lives in real time. There are the friends that you were close to at one point and due to logistics or lifestyles, you lose touch. When you do reconnect every so often, it is like you never skipped a beat and have that same feeling of kinship. The last level is a friend that you were close to once but now have nothing in common with. When you do speak, it does not make a difference in your life and even seems awkward. Their status has changed from a friend to a stranger with memories, and that is sad. Sometimes losing a friendship means that you have grown as a person and are no longer the same. That is not a bad thing.

Reality

The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense. The older I get, the more I see that reality sometimes seems unreal. There are more situations that are real and do not make sense than I care to know. Lately my dreams make more sense than events that happen while I am awake. Reality has become wrong and dreams have become real. I look at life and shake my head in disbelief.

Orientation

Every August my office gets a new intern. It is a requirement of their graduate school the year before they write their dissertation and graduate. Yesterday our new one arrived. She is a lovely sweet girl and the first day on any job feels strange. I tried to make her feel at home and gave her the tour. I got a phone call and while I was on it she asked the receptionist a question. Instead of a nice answer she was snapped at. The girl ran out of the office back to her own office. As soon as I got off the phone I went to speak to her. I explained that the receptionist is the best worker but has the worst social skills. I told her that she yells at everyone but then will go above and beyond to help someone out. I told her not to be offended by her tone as she has been like that for 15 years. Since my office is like a family, we have to deal with a nutty relative to fit in. The girl laughed. Unfortunately this has become my yearly orientation. Welcome to your internship.