Taking Cues

Sometimes things do not have to be said. It is the unspoken words that are important. It is the tone, the look, the feeling. My father is scheduled for a procedure this morning to finish the one he had as an emergency last week. He needs to be under anesthesia for this one and since he was not able to be sedated last week, it became a two part surgery. We arranged for a ride back and forth and his healthcare aide is with him. He said he would be fine. Last night when we spoke, I sensed in his voice that he was not fine. It was not said in words, it was said in the wavering sound of his voice. I asked him to tell me honestly if he wanted me to go with him. That is when he started to cry. He felt that it would be a burden for me to miss work. I told him that nothing is more important than him and I would be there with him in the morning and stay until he was settled back at home. I took the cue.

What Goes Around

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. The parking is horrible so I left ample time to get a parking spot. A few minutes after I arrived at the doctor's office an elderly man walked in with an envelope in his hand. He asked the receptionist if she could give it to Dr Jacobs. My doctor shares the office with two other doctors but their staff was not there. The receptionist said "No". The man kept pleading for her to just take the envelope as it was so hard for him to come back to the office. Again she said "No". She said he should have called first and she was not going to be responsible for his paper since Dr Jacob's staff was not there. I watched in astonishment. He left the office quite upset. When I was taken in to see my doctor, I asked the medical assistant if there was a problem between the doctors. She said there was not. I recounted what I saw while in the waiting room and I was upset too. When my appointment was done, I went to the checkout desk and saw the rude girl. I asked if there were any papers I needed to fill out as my doctor said there were. In a nasty tone she said there were not. I asked again stating that the doctor told me to fill out something before I left. She gave me a sneer and said,"No" again. As I was walking out, the doctor called the front desk to make sure I filled out the paperwork. The receptionist came running after me saying that I needed to come back to complete a form. Now, I said "No". She said that the doctor would be very angry with her if I did not fill out the papers. I said that was her problem, not mine. The rest of the patients in the waiting room chimed in saying, "Just go home". I guess she had been nasty to them, too.

Truly Me

I finally know who I am. It is not that I never knew, it is that I can strongly defend it now. I have heard the expression "authentic self" many times through the years and never fully realized what it meant. Now that I am older and hopefully wiser, I understand what it means. People may look at me and question why I do what I do or why I am reacting like I am. It is because I need to be true to myself and my core values. I do what I feel is right for my own reasoning. If someone does something wrong to me, that does not mean that I will act in turn. Their bad behavior will not dictate mine. I will not mimic what I see and turn it into what I do.

Hankies

I was looking in my closet this morning and saw a small gift box on a shelf. I remember taking it from my mother's house last year. I forgot what was in it so I opened it. It was a box of handkerchiefs wrapped beautifully in tissue paper. Someone must have given it to her as a gift. Each one was beautifully embroidered. Most people reading this blog will know what I am talking about. Men always had white ones and some of them had a thicker white border. The concept was really quite unsanitary. Blow your nose, fold up the rag, put it into your pocket to use later. When it was used for the day, throw it into the wash to be used again. Some old fashioned ways are no longer there for a reason.

Traveling Food Show

Since my father is at his home for the weekend recuperating, my sister and I are leaving soon to go spend the day with him. Yesterday we both cooked food for him even though he has enough already in his refrigerator. My sister has become the soup queen. She makes her special blend to include all food groups. When you eat her soup, you are eating a meal. I have made an old fashioned noodle pudding that contains enough dairy products to make someone's bones strong like steel. We will walk on the "avenue" and buy him anything else that looks good to us. We are looking forward to a great day with dad.

Superman

My father is Superman. He is The Man of Steel. The ordeal that he went through yesterday would have made a younger person crumble, but not him. He held strong and pushed through. His day started off as usual with a big breakfast. He then went to dialysis. The staff was unable to get the machine flowing. Three weeks ago this happened and he was sent to a vascular doctor the next day to open up a clog in his graft. We thought all was well, but apparently the clot was still there. Since it was Friday and he would not be able to have a procedure until Monday and dialysis until Tuesday, the decision was made to have an emergency appointment that day. I drove to Brooklyn and took him to a surgeon. Since he had a big breakfast, he could not have anesthesia. He agreed to have the procedure without it. He had the clot removed, the tight areas stretched and a balloon put into his artery. All without anesthesia. He said the pain was horrific but he knew that if he went 6 days without dialysis, it could mean disaster. Not only was everything done without anesthesia, but he watched the entire surgery being done on a live video monitor! After the procedure was done, he walked out on his own two feet and I took him directly to dialysis for a three hour treatment. He was done at 7pm and home by 7:30.  His aide was there to make him dinner and spend the night. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. Then I thought to myself, if I was tired, I cannot imagine how he felt.

Plant Based

Why are we becoming obsessed with things that are plant based? Are we returning to the age of the dinosaur? When I go to a fast food hamburger restaurant, I want beef. I do not want a plant that is shaped and colored like beef to be put on my bun. A few weeks ago I wanted to see if a plant based burger tasted like a meat burger. Believe me, it did not. It had a weird taste that was so bad I had to throw my dinner in the garbage. If you want to eat plants, order a salad. Don't try to fool yourself. At the very least, order a veggie burger. Imposters are imposters. I just saw a commercial on plant based butter. I call that product oil. Butter has cream. Butter comes from a cow. Don't misuse the wonderful word of butter by attaching the term plant based. Stop the politically correct food menu. I am not a cave woman.