Cultural Parenting

We all parent our children differently. A lot of our skills come from the culture we were brought up in. Some cultures value education more than anything, so their children are very high achievers. Some cultures parent with fear. I have a receptionist who is about 20 years old. She is Haitian. She was brought up in a culture where the mother rules the roost and you never cross her. No matter how old you are, you defer to her. She is Queen. Her mother has always worked two jobs to be able to put her children through elite private schools and college. She is to be respected at all costs. No excuses. If she is not respected you will see her wrath. My receptionist has told me many odd stories and while they sound funny, they are borderline abusive. One story happened this week and involved my bookkeeper. The girl liked the bookkeeper's pocket book. The bookkeeper being the generous person she is, bought the girl the pocketbook as a surprise. She took it home and her mother saw it. She asked where it came from and was told that it was a gift. The mother said that she liked it and since she did not get a great Mother's Day gift, the pocketbook was now hers. The girl said no, it was a gift. The mom said, "Let's see if you are woman enough to take it from me". The girl knew better. The next day her mother went to work wearing the new bag. When the bookkeeper was told this story, she was livid. She wants to have the girl ask her mother for the money back as it was a gift for the girl and not her mother. I told her to forget it. If the girls does that, she might get a beating. No bag is worth that.