Past Prediction

Does the past predict the future? It does unless changes are made. There is a family that we see at the pool every year. We call them "the entertainment". They are funny but not in a good way. The family dynamic is not healthy and has not changed since we met them. As soon as they walk in, we sit down and get ready for the show. There will be complaining, yelling, and nasty remarks towards each other. Then a minute later they are even keel. It is like a thriller movie. It is almost exhausting to watch, but you want to see it again next week. The woman knows she is acting poorly and tells me she will change but she never does. They must be getting something positive out of their constant battles or they would have ended it years ago.

Limits

Albert Einstein said that once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. That was his way of saying that in reality, we have no limits. We just need to baby step the process of life. I find myself telling this to some of my patient's parents when they speak to me for the first time. They want to project so far into the future that they are left standing still in the present. They are looking too far down the road. It is just like when I am driving my car. I know that my destination is 50 miles away, but I can only see 200 feet ahead of me. I need to have faith that if I stay the course, I will get there.

Adjusting

At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening. It is not an easy concept to wrap your head around. We all have thoughts and dreams of what our ideal life should be. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not. The hardest thing to adjust to is when it worked out for a while and then was taken away. That is because you then know the difference. When someone loses a loved one, "should" is changed to "is". Some people work through it easier and others never do. I see this in my father. Even after a year, he is not accepting the "is". He still looks back to happy times with my mother and says that she "should" have lived longer. I have tried to stop giving him words of encouragement because I agree with him. In his circumstance, at 95 years old, he has earned the right to feel sorry for himself.

7-11

Today is my husbands birthday. 7-11 is a lucky number and he is a lucky person. Today he can even celebrate with a free slurpee at 7-11. I got him lottery tickets as a gift mainly because there is nothing else to get him. Since he has a close relationship with eBay, all of his whimsical needs are met on a daily basis, sometimes to my dismay. We will spend this afternoon with my father and we are lucky to do that. Then he will take a spin on the birthday wheel of a local restaurant and see what he wins. I always tell him that he has more luck than money and I think that is a secret to his success.

Compassionate Restraint

I have developed compassionate restraint over the past year. I have watched carefully as people responded to my parental situation. Almost everyone has been true to what I thought they were, but a small few have been a disappointment. Those are the ones that will be treated with compassionate restraint. To the people that gave flippant remarks or cliched answers, I will respond as they did. I am a very warm hearted person but I can lower the dial to freezing at a moment's notice. I have a situation now where someone's mother is not feeling well. While I understand the upset my coworker has, I am showing the concern that I was shown. It goes against my grain to do so, but I am still doing it. I want her to feel what I felt when my pain was diminished in her eyes.

The Toilet Reporter

We have a patient in work that has designated herself the office watchdog. After each visit she will tell us that the bathrooms need toilet paper or the air conditioning is too high. She is the one that reports stuffed toilets every now and then. The other day we realized something. If she is the first patient in the office for the day and she reports a stuffed toilet, then she is the one who stuffed it. Lately she has been using the employee bathroom that is usually locked. Last week she reported that it was stuffed. Does she stuff it just to be the one to report it? From now on, I will make sure it is locked prior to her visit. She is becoming too time consuming.

The Tracker

Since I got my smartphone I have become a weather tracker. I have two icons on the screen that check weather. I am beginning to see that they are both wrong. Yesterday they said today would be full sunshine. I differ with that opinion since I just walked my dog in the rain. If the report changes by the minute, it really isn't accurate. It is like a game of Scrabble. Toss out a cube and see what you get.