Tombstones

I was reading an article about funny tombstones. When you think of it, an inscription on a tombstone is a blurb that sums up your entire life. Most people just stick to name, date and family status. John Doe, 1920-1999, Husband, Father, Grandfather. Cut and dry, no room for thought. Some people choose to go the other route. They want to make people smile, think and wonder. Who was this person? Why were they special? They seem to want to evoke an emotion from beyond the grave. I began to think what I would want on my tombstone, if I wanted to stray from the usual etchings. I would like my inscription to read, "She was nice to everyone. Look where it got her".

My Eyes

I heard a song the other day that made me stop and think. The line that touched my heart was, "If you say my eyes are beautiful, it's because they're looking at you". I understood that line deep in my soul. That is how I feel when I look at my children and grandchildren. I see the miracle of each of them and I can actually feel the wonder in my eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and I agree that what we take into them reflects what comes out of them. I want my windows to be clean and open. I never want them to be gray, foggy and closed. My children are too old to focus on my eyes as I look at them. My grandchildren are young enough to do it naturally. They look into my eyes and I can say their eyes are beautiful. It is because they are looking at me.

Child

At what point do we stop coddling our children? When does "your child" stop being treated like "a child'? I see this all the time when I interview parents that want their adult child to start treatment at my office. The children are over twenty years old but their parents still view them as people that cannot fend for themselves. They spend so much time worrying and micro managing, that their child cannot hone adult skills. If you constantly think for your child, they will never have the need to think for themselves. The worst offenders are the parents that stop their child from thinking independently. They cut them off in mid conversation, thinking that their words are more important. Occasionally I have to take a parent aside and point out that if they never let go and let their child think for themselves, they are crippling the person they want to help. I have even suggested that the parent needs therapy as they have created a situation that in some way fulfills their own needs.

Three Places

We all have our secret hiding spots. When something needs to be kept in a safe place, we choose one of them. I have one in my bedroom, one in my den and one in my kitchen. The spots are not meant to be for valuable items, they are meant to be for safe keeping. If I have something that I need to account for in the future without anyone throwing it away, I know where to stash it.

Traffic

Today all of the regular commuters will be talking about the "other" commuters. When the regular people sit in traffic, they will put the blame on the teachers. Today is the first day of school and the traffic pattern changes. As each person walks into my office, they will say that the teachers are back. The amount of cars traveling between 7am to 8am increases. That adds on travel time that makes people unhappy. Even though the calendar says otherwise, the summer is over.

In Between

Today is Labor Day. To me it is "in between" day. It is the place saver of seasons. It separates summer from the rest of the year. It is a not here not there day. We remember the wonderful days of our summer activities and look forward to the school and holiday season. The stores are almost done with school supplies as they hang witches and goblins from their windows. Is Easter far behind? I haven't worn pants since June but they are in my closet calling out to me. They know their time has come. I will go through today in an odd kind of mood.

Rest in Peace

Who made up the phrase "Rest in Peace?" We attribute that statement to death. Why can't we rest in peace and still be alive? When we go to sleep at night we are resting. When we have nothing on our mind, we are at peace. Why is the concept of resting in peace while alive so allusive? The answer is that as long as we are living we are never really at peace. We have daily problems or issues to resolve even if they have all become routine. We have jobs, family, bills and other assorted nonsense that we live with every day. When we lay our heads on our pillow at night, we know that when we wake up the same things will be there. There is no peace in the true sense of the word. So we just continue on our daily grind, waiting for the day we can rest in peace. It will be a well deserved respite.