I Don't Know

For my entire life, I have answered people's questions. When they ask "Why?", I give an answer. Sometimes I am asked why other people do what they do. I still give an answer. Sometimes the answer is a true fact and sometimes it is speculation. Usually, when I speculate, it is to make the other person look better or seem more sensible. From now on, I am not doing that. It is a hard habit to break. From now on, I will only answer for myself. If I know the answer I will say it. If I don't I will just say, "I don't know". Cut and dry, no follow up words.

Labels

People say they hate labels, but certain labels are important. Labels regarding people have no purpose. Labels regarding things do. How many of us look back at old pictures and have no idea who some of the people are? We remember the faces that are closest to us, but not the others. If we labeled them before we put them into our albums, we would know. Other labels that are important are medication labels. We all know to use the full doses of antibiotics, so we should never have any extra. The medications that really need to be labeled are the ointments, salves and lotions. We always have most of the tube left and just place it into our medicine cabinets. A year later, we have no idea what it was used for. Was it the rash on our arm or the dry skin on our feet? I have begun to label exactly what it was used for before I put it away. That way I will never have to guess again.

Food

I woke up today and just feel full. I have no idea what I want for breakfast, much less lunch. I ate enough this weekend to last me until Tuesday. I always wonder how we decide what we are in the mood to eat. Why do I want pizza one day and Chinese food the next. Is it my brain or my stomach that gives the cues?

Introduction

This afternoon is my grandson's Baptism. There will be a church service and a big party after that. As in all religions, we do certain sacraments at face value and do not delve into the full meaning. According to what I am told, today is the day that a baby is bought into God's family.  Some Christian denominations do not baptize infants, as they feel that only a person that understands the religion should have that sacrament. For Catholics, as far as I know, once an infant is baptized, he is cared for by God. In my religion, Judaism, as soon as he was born, God watches out for him. I was never a person to take anything at face value, so I ruminate over the meaning and sensibility of everything. That is why I do not sleep at night. Too much thinking. Here is my dilemma. There is only one God. Our religion is either the one we were born into or the one we feel most comfortable worshiping. If in Catholicism, he is only acknowledged after Baptism, then who watched over him as he slept in the NICU? How can families pray for a baby's health, if according to their beliefs, God does not recognize him yet? Does God make these rules, or do we? Anyway, this afternoon I will sit in a church, as the Catholic families sing praise to Jesus, the King of The Jews, who was never Christian. I think I need an aspirin.

Who They Were

After weeks of searching, I finally found my family. I have traced them back to the ship's registries when they arrived in America. It was not an easy task since the names I had been searching were not the names that were on the passenger lists. For one family, the first names were different. For the other family, the last name was different. In those days, immigrants were scared of authority and were compliant. The did not want to rock the boat, no pun intended. They did what they were told. Most families came to America in stages. Usually the father or eldest son came and they brought over the rest of the family person by person. On the ship's registry, they had to account for who paid for their ticket and where they would be residing when they arrived. I know the houses they came to and have even looked at them on the internet. They still look exactly as they did, from the outside. One was in Williamsburg and the other in Cobble Hill. I keep thinking about the names, though. For instance, my grandfather, spent 16 years with one name. He boarded the ship with that name. As soon as he stepped foot in America, a stranger renamed him. His identity was forever changed. How did that feel to him? It took 99 years for his granddaughter, me, to acknowledge who he really was. Even though it doesn't change a thing, it still matters.

Name Game

Last night my parents came to my house for a holiday dinner. I told them to come early since I wanted some extra "alone time" with them. I have been doing a genealogy search and needed information. I have information as far back as my great grandparents arrival to the United States, but I cannot find any ship's registry stating their names. I told this to my father and he thought and thought. Then he came up with possibilities of other names that might be relevant. My last maiden name might not be the original name. My grandmother's first name might not be her real one either. I now have a list of alternatives and will start a new search. I am determined to learn more.

L'Shana Tova

L'Shana Tova. Happy New Year. Happy 5774. Just looking at the number amazes me. Realizing how many years my culture has existed on the record books. The year 2013 looks like a baby in comparison. As usual, it is a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and the temperature is so comfortable. There is a joke that says if you plan a celebration on the Jewish holidays, you are assured of good weather. That fact usually holds true. Tonight I will be having family over for a holiday dinner, so I will start cooking in the early afternoon. I still try to make the traditional foods. We will have salad, chicken, roast beef, mushroom barley and root vegetables. Most of all, we will have quality family time.