Weather or Not

I should be getting ready to go to Manhattan now. I am not. This is because of the erroneous weather reports that I have been hearing for the past 2 days. It was almost like Chicken Little  running around telling everyone that the sky was falling. All I had been hearing was, "A Nor'Easter was a'commin" and we should all get ready for it. One station said 3-5 inches of snow. The other said 4-6 inches and the third said 1-2 inches. I decided that I would reschedule 2 lectures until April 5th because I did not want to cancel at the last moment. I had to call 2 librarians, the head of programing and the department that is in charge of the contracts. The calls were then followed up by emails. When I awoke this morning, I looked out of my bedroom window and saw.....nothing. The sky had not fallen overnight. I could have gone to Manhattan and lectured. So now I am getting ready to go to work where I am not expected to be. Next time I will go with my instincts and hope for the best.

Picture Perfect

I have been seeing commercials for a new McDonald's sandwich and it looked so good. It was a hamburger with cheddar cheese and grilled onions. Yesterday I decided to go and get it. As I ordered it, I looked up and saw the picture of what this delicious lunch would look like. When I opened up the paper wrapping, I saw a sad looking hamburger bun staring at me. I opened it up and saw a tiny, flat, meat patty sitting off to the side of the bun, looking like it was trying to escape. There was a dot of grilled onion. Picture one tiny onion strand chopped up into 4 pieces. I was tempted to bring it back to the counter and ask where the hamburger in the picture was, but we all know that it was in the photography studio. I ate the hamburger and it was very tasty, but not picture perfect.

They Way To Our Hearts

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That is also the way to a doctor's office. We are having a luncheon today. It is being hosted by a treatment center from Missouri. They called me a few weeks ago and said they were in New York and wanted to come and talk about their center. Since my director was out of town, I did not want to set anything up. I told them to send us brochures and I would let the doctors know. I added that the first Tuesday in March would have been good, but the rep was flying home at the end of the week. A week later they called again and said they would fly the rep out to my office to host a luncheon, anyway. I said that would be great. So, at noon today, a rep from Missouri will come to my office and bring in lunch for us. It is a great marketing tool as the doctors will all be very attentive when they have full stomachs.

Double Keys

I returned from the chill of Florida to the chill of  New York. Back to my usual routine. I love to travel but I love to come home. This trip, we rented a car to make it easier for my parents and eliminate them picking us up and dropping us off at the airport. I do not understand why the rental car companies do certain things. When we picked up the car, they handed us the car keys. There were 2 keys on a keychain. We drove away and when we arrived at my parents house we wanted to separate the keys just in case we lost one. That's what people do. They have a spare key, in case of emergencies. As we took a closer look at the key chain, we noticed  that  the ring was soldered closed. There was no way to separate the two keys. If you lost one, you lost both. Does that make sense?

Un F-air Bed

I am going back to New York this morning and I haven't slept all night. It was not because of the excitement of traveling. It was because of the airbed I slept on. As most children of Floridians know, when you come to visit, you have two sleeping choices. The first is on the sleepsofa where you will have a bar digging into your back all night. The second is an air mattress, which is usually the better of the two scenarios. Not last night. Airbeds have quilted areas in them. It must be designed that way for a reason. Last night, every few minutes, a quilt popped open, like a kernal of popcorn. The bed formed a "U" shape, which, by the way, is not compatable with the human spine. So I curled up in the fetal position and prayed for morning. The time ticked away slowly until 7am, when I got up. I hope the plane ride is smooth so I can sleep.

Collect Calls

I have been out of town since Wednesday but have talked to my family at home every day. Years ago, when you went away, it was too expensive to make out of town calls. People wrote postcards letting their families know how they were doing. A few months ago, I found a few of them from my grandmother. She and my grandfather were in Miami for two weeks and she wrote home every day. I vividly remember when I traveled on vacation with my friends in the 70's, the method of communication we all used. It was the collect call. You called the operator and she rang your phone at home. The trick was that you asked for yourself and the person on the other end of the line would then know that you were safely at your destination. You tried to get as much information across as possible. The conversation went something like this:

• Operator: I have a collect call from Shelby.
• Parents:Shelby isn't home now.
• Me:Shelby must be in Florida.
• Parents:I think she is at the hotel.
• Me: She must be and I bet it is sunny and warm there.
• Parents:I will tell her you called.

That was the code for, "I am here, in the hotel and the weather is beautiful".

Now, we text, call, Skype, Facetime and email. No one is really on vacation.

Shhhhhhh

 I am in Florida since Wednesday morning. We took an early flight so we could have the entire day here. The flight was at 7am and left on time. It was a quiet, uneventful flight until we went to the bathroom. My sister and I walked to the restrooms at the same time but I returned to my seat first. As she was sitting down, she commented that the bathroom floor was sticky. I said the floor in my bathroom was also sticky. That is when it happened...we were shhhh'd. The lady sitting ahead of us turned her head backwards and said "shhh". Was she for real? Shhhing us for talking on an airplane at 9am? We were not screaming. We only said 5 words in a normal tone. From that point on it was "game on". I read my Readers Digest article aloud to my sister, making sure to laugh loudly at the jokes. We also flipped the tray in front of me up and down 2 times, giving it an extra "zetz" upon closing it. The woman never looked back. She must have been afraid of us. Upon exiting the plane, she ran so fast, as she pulled her carry on suitcase, that the wheels got caught and she tripped. I guess "shhhhsing" can be hazardous to your health.