The Magazine Shuffle

I love to read magazines. The types I like the most, are the ones that mix a bit of news, a bit of human interest and a bit of fashion. I find a magazine that contains only one of those to be boring. No matter which magazine you read, they all have one thing in common. The articles are never in page sequence. They start off on page 3 and 4 and then are "continued" on page 68 and then "continued" on page 96. I dislike flipping pages only to flip again and then to find my way back to the original page, to continue on reading the rest of the magazine. Why does a magazine need to differ from a book. You never see chapter one, on pages 3,4,5 and then "continued" on page 97. You read from page one until the last page. No flipping back and forth. I cannot tell you the number of times I have chosen not to "continue". I am the queen of 1/2 articles and proud of it.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to every mother in the world. I am having a happy day, thanks to Kenneth. Who, may you ask, is Kenneth? He is the computer tech from McAfee who rid my computer of it's virus this morning. I woke up to a black screen and a note saying "I think I broke the computer. Fix it". While I am somewhat of a tech, this was too far gone. Every program was wiped out.  I knew enough to get into "safe mode with networking" so I could make a frantic call to the virus people. I paid the $89.95 and was assured that by the end of the session, I would be virus free. Kenneth told me to give him access into my computer and I did. He entered remotely from India and took control. He told me to go about my day and he will take care of things. I put him on speaker phone and did my cooking and normal Sunday routine. After an hour, Kenneth called me and said to come back to the computer. He was done. All fixed. Back to new. I wish everything in life was that easy. Just sit back and let someone else clean up the mess. Wait.....that is what I do for everyone. Hmm, I guess I am my family's Kenneth.

The Computers Are Down

Four dreaded words. The computers are down. That is enough to ruin anyone's work day. From the moment those words are uttered, the day goes down hill fast. First, you call the computer guy and pray that he answers his phone.Then you beg him to come right away and hope for the best. That is followed by a few hours of sitting around trying to amuse yourself without being able to go online. Most of us have lost the ability to amuse ourselves, as the computer does that for us. When the repairman finally arrives, you are so happy to see him, you almost jump on him. It must feel good to have people welcome you like that. The only other person that receives such a warm welcome is the woman who delivers the payroll checks. He finally fixes the problem and after a test run, the work day can finally begin, even though it is almost half over. Now comes the bad part. You have to finish a full day's work in half a day. Somehow, you do it and things will run smoothly until the next time "the computers go down".

It Wasn't Me

This morning, in my office, we had a computer problem. Any time you upgrade, there will be issues. The dreaded word "incompatible" is bandied around. The definition of "incompatible" is "this is going to cost you money". After the Verizon tech left, I needed to call in my medical software tech. That is when the fun began. There are 5 computers in my office and most people tend to use the same ones. I use two specific ones and have large notes pasted on them that read "NO ONE BUT SUSAN CAN USE THIS COMPUTER OR THE SYSTEM WILL CRASH AND YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE TO FIX IT!!!!" Needless to say those computers are treated like lepers. No one even looks at them. Now we get to the other three. Even though people are told they are not to use social networking sites, they still do. That's where the problem began. When my computer tech went into the internal screens, they were clogged up with programs that "run in the background", like thieves in the night. They attach on and track you and slow things up in general. Everyone stood around and watched the tech name the programs and games that everyone swore they never use. Six people stood there chanting "it wasn't me". I know who the offenders are, as they are not smart enough to close down their purchasing/chatting sessions at the end of the night. We cleaned things up (for now) and the rest of the day, my office staff were as quiet as mice.

Checks and Balances

There is no better feeling than balancing your checkbook and having everything equal out. I have it down to a science. The mailman delivers the mail, I open the statement, get out my check register and check off the information. I have the checkbook balanced before the mailman gets back into his truck. The reason why it is so easy, is that I take my time to enter each item as I write the checks. I have seen what some peoples' checkbook registers look like. Some look like abstract art. Numbers and words all over the place. Then, there are the missing check entries. No wonder why they can't figure out their mess. A checkbook is like everything else in life. If you do things right on the front end, it will be easy on the back end.

Third Party Carriers

I got my wireless telephone bill in the mail yesterday. As usual, I scrutinized it, as it is never exactly the same each month. I have four phones on the bill and we just added services, so the bill looked like a free for all. Fees, taxes, partial months. My line should be $17.59, but this month it was $29.52. I immediately called Verizon and spoke to a nice man, who probably wished that he had called in sick that day, after I was done dealing with him. It seems that $9.99 (plus tax, of course) was added on to the bill by a third party carrier. What the heck is a third party carrier and why are you adding their fee onto my bill? It seems that a company called "bid and win" says that I subscribed for their services. I use my phone about 4 minutes a day and text maybe 2 times a month, only to family members. When did this subscription happen? While I was sleeping? Has Shelby been secretly texting to other dogs in the neighborhood? I said I wanted Verizon to remove the charge. The man said "it isn't our charge, it is a third party carrier." I told him that this is fraud and it needs to be removed, otherwise they are condoning fraud on their bills. He kept saying he couldn't remove the charge and I kept saying he had to. During the conversation, he blocked the capability of any third party carrier to ever invade my phone again. After 10 minutes of back and forth about the charge, he finally gave in and removed it. He lost the stamina to deal with me. I never raised my voice or used profanities. I was just so persistent that he lost the will to argue.

TMI

TMI. Too Much Information. I do not know why people feel the need to tell other people more information than they really need to know. This happens to me every day. I am the person that does the new patient screening for my office. I ask the same question to everyone. "Why are you coming here. You only need to tell me in one word. Anxiety. Depression. OCD"? I specifically say "one word". For some reason the flood gates open up and I start to hear the persons entire history. Some of the information is too personal. I try to be polite and stop the conversation by saying that I am in the administration department and I am not a doctor so the information you are telling me should be kept private. It is as if they are deaf. They just keep on going, like they energizer bunny. I keep on repeating that I do not need to know any more, but they go on and on, until they completely finish. By this time, I know too much, but there is no going back. Some information is best left private. Like the old saying goes, "loose lips, sink ships".